For Married and soon to be married Men - Family (2) - Nairaland
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| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Nobody: 1:16pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
Wow, What a nice thread, |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by obowunmi(m): 1:19pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
If you want to be respected in your marriage, get your finances in order. Do a projection on how much it takes to take care of a wife and do kids, pay for rent ---or build a house, handle your business as a man, the HEAD of the household. Financial projections always help. If you don't care about being respected, then don't take care of your finances and see what happens when the sex you offer your wife, isn't enough. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by beeke(m): 1:40pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
God bless the author of this thread i always learn a lot from ideas like this cos am single for now and for sure this is gonna help me in the near future |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by inene: 1:46pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
IF YOU HAVE A PLAN TO GET MARRIED, PLEASE BRING OUT THE PLAN FROM THE PIPELINE INTO THE OPEN, TAKE A DATE AND WATCH EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO MAKE THE WEDDING A SUCCESS. THE ONLY ADVICE FOR YOU IS TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR WEDDING IS NOT TO PLEASE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF AND YOUR BRIDE BECAUSE MARRIAGE STARTS AFTER THE WEDDING. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by 4teelaw(f): 1:52pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
okay, I am a woman but I have to contribute my 2 cents. Marriage has a way of obtaining God's favour, I just got married in December (officially) but ever since my husband made the decision to get married, things began to work in his favour. He lost his job 2 years ago, and still went ahead and did our introduction, immediately after that, he miraculously opened a small business. That business today now has police escorts! just two years down the line. Now, i am even tempted to resign my job and join that business, cos it seems to be bringing in most of our family income. After the wedding just barely two months ago, more miracles are happening! Bottomline is put God first, God adores the marriage institution and blesses any man (and woman) that takes that bold step. You dont need a million bucks to lavish on your wedding.(our wedding cost the both of us onlyN150k, as family and friends pitched in over N2m to arrange everything, but dont rely on that, we were just very fortunate, now we are putting the wedding money we had saved up into other plans) Go to registry, cost less than 10k with pictures, then do family engagement. Shikena You will need the money for the future. P.S: do not get married until you have steady income and a roof over your head, even if it is a miniflat or even self contain. If she is your wife, she will understand and stick by you, if she is not, she wont wait for you. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by tellwisdom: 1:53pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
You are a lunatic! The guy made a very good point from his experience which I will also corroborate. I had the grace of God immediately I took the decision to get married and my finances took a quatum leap from a single deal.I think little boys of your age should not get into discussions of this kind. And what if the same, that worked for you, didn't worked for him??  . What happens?? You blame it on devil this time. isnt it?? SMH  I shall not fail to tag you as a serial killer, if you think your advice, for him, would work like a magic.  FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN HIM, GOD PLAYS A VERY VITAL ROLE IN SOLVING THE FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES OF MARRIED COUPLES.  Thank you jere. Omo dada  . |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by halavoke: 2:04pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
Best topic av seen in a long tym, learnt a lot cos am plannin my marriage 4 2013 dec. God bless d originator of dis thread n ev1 for dier nice inputs! |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by PrinceDudu(m): 2:07pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
Very interesting tread im really taking notes |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Koolking(m): 2:13pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
Life is what we make of it. We want to turn it right we can, we want to make a mess of it, we can as well. Every successful event in life is measured on the level of planning. Money alone is not a guarantee for success. Success is an individual thing |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by otokx(m): 4:28pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
Interesting thread |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by baldman: 5:52pm On Feb 08, 2012 |
This is a good thread, I hope more recently married couples would share their stories here. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by pcicero(m): 12:52am On Feb 09, 2012 |
This is one of the most sensible thread I have ever read on Nairaland. It is really an eye opener. I have learnt so much from it even though I have always known that marriage attracts God's blessing. I just feel that our ladies are not so discerning. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by lastpage: 1:55am On Feb 09, 2012 |
Some marriages will break-up, when they will break-up. Most marriages with will definitely break-Up when the man suffers a "financial meltdown"! Its not for fun when they say "Money Goo, Woman Gooo"! I pray it never happens to anyone but then, Shyte happenz everytime! Think about it for a second. Lastpage! |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by lastpage: 2:33am On Feb 09, 2012 |
@4teelaw Thanks for your contribution, its very inspiring. That part about your business having "Three Police Escort" got me confused as l cant reconcile a "business success" to the number of Police escort the business requires/has? Or is it a "Security Services Firm"? Now, l know of a guy who worked a Savannah bank or was it Societe General bank (Blue Glass building around/ off Broad Street in Lagos) in those days. As a banker, he was well paid and having made good savings, he decided to fix his wedding date. Four weeks after fixing the date, himself and his wife to-be were scheduled for an interview at the American Embassy for a Tourist Visa (Honeymoon). This was two weeks to the actual wedding. He had all the documents ready in his office drawer and his wife will just meet him at 11am on Monday and they would set-off from his office. He came to the office on that Monday morning to find that Soldiers have used chains to lock up the office! No Access at all as the bank has been liquidated, all of a sudden. To cut long story short, they could not only attend the interview for Visa (Passports were locked in his drawer), and the wedding itself has to be put off as most of the Grooms cash was in his account, in his own bank!. He was shattered to put it mildly! Am sure a few people might remember who l am talking about. A few people said the wife/wedding plans brought him bad luck!  I just think shyte happens at times!Why this story? There are always two sides to every coin. What worked for "A", might not work for "B"! Life is a risk but l always enjoin peeps to take "calculated risks". Some people "borrow money" to build/buy a house based on their projected earnings from paid employment, (repayment from salary) only to loose the job a year later! Wetin go happen next? As far as l am concerned, "savings and prudent investments" are the best thing a man can do in life. Always think about a day when things may not go as planned, do you have enough money "stashed away" to see you through for say like 3yrs, without any income? if not, you better think twice before committing yourself to anything which would put you under financial pressure, including "marriage and having children". Lastpage |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by GboyegaD(m): 4:46am On Feb 09, 2012 |
IMO it is a personal decision and there is no clear cut way as to how to go about it. Pray and let God direct you. Remember also, that what worked for A might not necessarily work for B but please ensure you pray and plan your finance well also. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Tobiegal(f): 9:25am On Feb 09, 2012 |
I just had to put something down! Nobody has got it all when it comes to financing ur wedding. Hubby n I shared everything da needed to be paid for while family also did dir part. Its jst really tough when its one sided, bt its not impossible. Try to plan ahead n ave a basic needs I.e work or source of income n a roof ova ur head! |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by felixedet(m): 10:47am On Feb 09, 2012 |
You don't have to wait until you make the money of your wild imaginations, whatever one has is always enough to start something with. I did that and it a testimony today, if i had waited maybe I'll still be waiting up till now, who knows, thanks God it was so. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by kodewrita(m): 10:56am On Feb 09, 2012 |
This may go against standard nigerian expectations ( even my own family would expect a lavish ceremony too anyway). But what if , family and friends actually contributed the two million for the couple to start a business. and the husband in question actually saves his 1m to add to the pot and the young couple simply hold a small ceremony and start life as a millionaire couple. Is that so socially unpalatable that it cant happen? why must a bank staff waste millions to say two words? |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by 2baga(m): 11:38am On Feb 09, 2012 |
4teelaw: if you are ready, you are ready , money does not make a marriage, but money is a tool to be used, If you dont have a job yet, get 1, if you do start saving, make sure you marry a friend of yous, , reason, love is highly ephemeral, and at best flimsy, I'm married, just last sept 2011, it takes a huge belief in yourself and a bigger trust in God to see you through. Being a man goes beyond bossing a woman around but can you understand her mood swings during that time of the month? can you be strong and firm, yet gentle with her (your woman)? can you defend her interest even above yours (if need be) ? can you stand and shout how much you love her on top of the stallion plaza (tallest building in Marina)? can you race the 3rd mainland bridge just to get her groceries (on foot)? Ol'boi i guess you are ready if you can answer YES to the above remember the love of money is the root of evil, while money is a servant/ tool for evangelism |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by josite: 3:48pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
no matter how much u have at the time of marriage,it will certainly decreases or increases over time.so u and ur prepare must posses the attributs,the determination to weather whatever stroms will come and be certain the storms will come and the fat bank balance upon which u based your calculations for a hapi marriage will soon develop wings and flies away.the fact that a man or woman is stucked with a particular fellow in a marraige may itself provoke some sickneses that werent there before and which will demand moneys to be spent on things unbudgetted for.its beta u start rough and things only get beta and beta wit time. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by Nobody: 4:09pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
...pls delete |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by niddamugu(m): 6:07pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
All views were well read and understood at least coming from different perspectives. The bottom line is this: 1. Ask HIM for direction on where to "GO" 2. marry your friend - somebody you dated and courted at least 6 months 3. If you are a man, you must be patient with your wife at ALL times because there are times when the "mood" changes. You must understand when. 4. Never hold back, especially money, from her 5. Learn to talk things over 6. Let HIM take you to where he has asked you to go Just a few tips. As you can see, the first = the last. That is the foundation and the structure. Worry less about money. Marriage has it's own blessings apart from the good job, nice car, nice apartment, electronics, etc. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by ronkebp(f): 9:35pm On Feb 09, 2012 |
******peeping****** **** : |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by lastpage: 3:17pm On Feb 10, 2012 |
@2baga can you stand and shout how much you love her on top of the stallion plaza (tallest building in Marina)? Are you married and more importantly, have you (honestly speaking) done just the above two things for your wife or any lady you love?  Just wondering aloud, you know Nigeria is "do as l say", dont reckon with what l actually do! Cheers man, keep it up! Lastpage BTW: l have a strong phobia for heights, l would not even try standing on a 2storey rooftop! what if l trip or get dizzy, wetin l go tell my Papa? And l hear say 3rd Mainland dey shake and swing about, not to mention those area-boyz that obtain people on that bridge! Nna, l no fit waka with legs on dat bridge, not even on okada! |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by davidson96ers: 10:17am On May 30, 2012 |
This threads have been educating for someone lik me who have been thinking so much about going ahead with the. Bold step. I. Apprecciate every one as per ur contributions, now I know I have a serz discussion to engage in with my woman whom I know I can do all these for and then start out with her as regards plans for a good enuf savings and accommodation. The only problem she sees is dat my two elder sisters her not married yet and they ought to get married before me, please I need ur sincere view and advice on this. |
| Re: For Married and soon to be married Men by moremi2008(m): 11:18am On May 30, 2012 |
I can't believe some of the "take a bold step of faith" advice I am reading on here! If Nigerians think this way about something that is relatively easy to budget and plan for, I can't even begin to imagine their attitudes towards unforeseen circumstances! No wonder the entire country is upside down! For as many "testimonies" of divine provision for a wedding, there is an equal number of stories of flop weddings/marriages. Our only saving grace is that family and friends usually contribute towards wedding expenses. If you're a man that isn't used to depending on favors and charity, then your best bet is to use your brain and plan accordingly. Your family and friends might chip-in for the ceremony but are they also going to feed your wife and children?!!! At the very minimum, make sure you have a steady source of income and cut your wedding plans according to your cloth. No woman deserves the unhappiness created by a jobless, newly-wed husband! |
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