Ujujoan:



No way!

Yes way.

I know these people personally.

soapdish:

@kokoye, that's taking it to the extreme. Most people fail to understand that children are gifts from God Απϑ‎​ being blessed with them has nothing to do with our righteousness or something, just God showing mercy. Women should learn not to brag about howw easy it is for them to conceive.

I bet you the lady knew what she was doing. . .she just wanted the old woman to be miserable and feel some pain.

Dont we see these things happen all the time? . . .check out my earlier of what some mothers do when they want to be mean

kokoye:

Yes way.

I know these people personally.

That's cold.

I feel sorry for her husband.

^^^

He's learnt the art of ignoring her and her ways. He's actually moved back to naija . .only visits every once in a while.

Go figure.

^^^

Poor man!

Thanks Kokoye, its mostly not about being bitter but most times every action is interpreted and connected to your childlessness, you get tired of trying to explain your actions, thinks a woman with kids will do and get away with you dare not try, and it is worse when you have a non supportive spouse

debrief08:

Thanks Kokoye, its mostly not about being bitter but most times every action is interpreted and connected to your childlessness, you get tired of trying to explain your actions, thinks a woman with kids will do and get away with you dare not try, and it is worse when you have a non supportive spouse

Ahh yes, the non supportive spouse as if you didnt have enough problems already. Those men can be very vile omg. Sometimes they are supportive to an extent then they go on the insult band wagon. In their defense they are often under pressure from their family to have children and then put the pressure on the wife in return, which is totally unfair and the most disturbing part is that the infertility may not be the wife's fault smh. But as in every childless marriage in this country the infertility is blamed on the woman. I know a man very very wealthy, he married twice and had no children, his third wife remained childless for many years, until she had a daughter, people say they did IVF. But i can imagine the hell the first 2 wives went through, in this case i strongly beleive it was a male infertility issue, goes to show you all his billions he got and producing children is an upward battle for him.

Your spouse is really the only person that can keep you calm and sane. . .in such situations.

Without such, pity. hell on earth.

Ladies, please marry men with self-confidence and some measure of boldness and self-pride. A lot of us give in to family, peer and religous pressure too easily!!

Agiboma, in ma case ex had low sp3rm count and wouldn't stop smoking when we tried IVF, it failed, but to publiclly save face he constantly humilated me in public when we went out. When the pple ask he had a ready answer. Anyway I had a baby immediately I remarried, so it answered d questions.

^^^

Thank you for re-marrying ojare. God bless you.

debrief08:

Agiboma, in ma case ex had low sp3rm count and wouldn't stop smoking when we tried IVF, it failed, but to publiclly save face he constantly humilated me in public when we went out. When the pple ask he had a ready answer. Anyway I had a baby immediately I remarried, so it answered d questions.

he was letting out his frustration on you, because he sees himself as useless and not man enough to impregnate a lady, hence he was showing you his masculinity by throwing around blows, he is very lucky you are not my sister, i 4 don organize for him, nonsense!!!!

^^^

Sorry, but that is not how to show masculinity.

You show your masculinity by showering love and respect on the woman who has loved you despite your weakness.

But its something people do regularly especially in naija

even on the pages of the web where a 60yr old grandma can be posting as a 22yr old boy

Here on NL, Some women have used the barreness of other posters to attack them some have even used the inability to get a husband

ronkebp:

he was letting out his frustration on you, because he sees himself as useless and not man enough to impregnate a lady, hence he was showing you his masculinity by throwing around blows, he is very lucky you are not my sister, i 4 don organize for him, nonsense!!!!

In this Nigeria this condition is not uncommon so its time ppl do a mental shift and stop thinking like cave men. If you married for many years, no pregnancy, no baby one should use common sense and investigate the issue and not finger point and call names, my heart goes out to all those married women with male infertility issues who are blamed constantly for their childless marriage.

queensmith:

There is always adoption, don't understand why women will treat themselves this way, the solution is in a selection of motherless baby homes! take your pick!

And what is new about the social divide?? Oooo the daily mail? Why did i come here! *rolls eyess* probably a whole load of bul crap!

This ediot with her moronic thought process again.

How can you compare lack of ability to produce your own child to adoption.

Solution of a fooool!

Adoption is a last resort, not the solution.

ronkebp:

SAGALULU, this your post too long, haba!!!

Long, interesting and every inch of it is insightful.

mazaje:

I feel sorry for her because it seriously weighs her down, she is deeply unhappy, people don't invite her to their kids birthdays, naming ceremony and other social gatherings that involve kids, the harsh ones mock her or use her situation to get at her when ever she offends them, she has her own short comings but the way people use her childlessness to get at her is so sad and just wrong. . . .I know very well that kids (like marriage) are so overrated. . .

Defend her. Don't let anyone ever use that against her in front of you.

kokoye:

Your spouse is really the only person that can keep you calm and sane. . .in such situations.

Without such, pity. hell on earth.

Ladies, please marry men with self-confidence and some measure of boldness and self-pride. A lot of us give in to family, peer and religous pressure too easily!!

Mate, you don't need to tell them that.

All women on NL know they need a Sagamite. You did not need to describe me in full.

ronkebp:

he was letting out his frustration on you, because he sees himself as useless and not man enough to impregnate a lady, hence he was showing you his masculinity by throwing around blows, he is very lucky you are not my sister, i 4 don organize for him, nonsense!!!!

You just did exactly what we are saying should not be done to a barren woman.

ileobatojo: [size=18pt]I can definitely understand that it would be difficult to be around pregnant women when dealing with infertility but the extent to which some of these people acted out their bitterness astounds me.[/size].

^^^^

I have personally experienced bile from women trying to conceive as a single mom with son.
Alot of them say nonsense abt why does God give children to those who are not ready, while they have been praying for children fervently.
Such dumb nonsense, who told u God gives children on a quota basis, why r u so concerned abt wat takes place in others wombs. why dont u just rejoice with them that rejoice& mourn with them that mourn, yes even those who had to make the painful decision to have abortions and stop this disgusting self pitying bullshit that can only cause further harm to u.

I remember when i was preggers, a dear married friend was also preggers but unfortunately she lost her baby& was really ill for a while.
She struggled for almost two years after that to conceive again& when she did was completely on bed rest, till she had her baby via cs.
Thruout, i tried to be a friend to her but she kept saying things like how life isnt fair, how come i got to work throughout my pregnancy, have my baby naturally&have a gorgeous son. (Hers was a girl& she had her heart set on a boy.)
it was annoying but i understood&i forgave because dats wat friends do

It depends on the individual woman trying to conceive, I've being trying for the past 12year but nothing on this earth would make me to be unhappy with people that are pregnant or carrying their babies. I think every woman trying should make sure they know the cause, work on it and don't get bothered about what people say to you, just be happy to yourself and keep seeking His face there is nothing He can not do.

Used to feel bitter too till I got to understand that The fact that Mr A has 10 is not the reason why Mrs B has none.God has enough in his store house to go round.in TTC,attitude matters a lot.When u r always bitter,u r actually repelling the very thing u desire.There is a law of attraction,what u r genuinely happy with, you attract to yourself.So when I see a pregnant woman,I smile n imagine how I will look n how it will feel when I am.I try to render any sort of help if its in my power to do so.Same with when I see a woman with a baby or kids.I try to be careful though cos people can be paranoid these days.I don't just see someone with a baby n stretch my hand to carry.This is cos if d mother refuses I'll feel very bad,so jUst play with the baby on mothers arms till she willingly gives me to hold. when they talk abt their kids I listen attentively cos I might learn one or 2 things.My friend with 2 kids actually asks me for advice at times(guess its cos I ve a sis I'm almost 20yrs older than)So no hard feelings really.

mercifull: Used to feel bitter too till I got to understand that The fact that Mr A has 10 is not the reason why Mrs B has none.God has enough in his store house to go round.in TTC,attitude matters a lot.When u r always bitter,u r actually repelling the very thing u desire.There is a law of attraction,what u r genuinely happy with, you attract to yourself.So when I see a pregnant woman,I smile n imagine how I will look n how it will feel when I am.I try to render any sort of help if its in my power to do so.Same with when I see a woman with a baby or kids.I try to be careful though cos people can be paranoid these days.I don't just see someone with a baby n stretch my hand to carry.This is cos if d mother refuses I'll feel very bad,so jUst play with the baby on mothers arms till she willingly gives me to hold. when they talk abt their kids I listen attentively cos I might learn one or 2 things.My friend with 2 kids actually asks me for advice at times(guess its cos I ve a sis I'm almost 20yrs older than)So no hard feelings really.

God bless you for having such a great attitude! So sorry about your struggle but I pray God will answer your prayers real soon!

Women are trying. I totally understand this feeling because I have been TTC for a while but u should not allow ur pain get to the point that u'll avoid pregnant people.
Instead of that when my friend's kids are around, I silently pray for mine.

Definitely there are times u re down and on such days I cry real hard. I thank God 4 my hubby, that's my SUPERMAN he knows how to make me smile.

There was a time I registered on every TTC website that I Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ but I have calmed down and I just have faith that God is just special packaging my descendants

The only prob is when family and friends decided to come with their own wahala. I can remember a close friend telling me that it is when I have children that am truly married. Such words really HURT.
People act like they know so much bout ur problem when they know absolutely nothing about the emotional torture that u go thru.

People around those TTC should pls be
considerate and should be careful of what they say to this people.

Women are trying. I totally understand this feeling because I have been TTC for a while but u should not allow ur pain get to the point that u'll avoid pregnant people.
Instead of that when my friend's kids are around, I silently pray for mine.

Definitely there are times u re down and on such days I cry real hard. I thank God 4 my hubby, that's my SUPERMAN he knows how to make me smile.

There was a time I registered on every TTC website that I Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ but I have calmed down and I just have faith that God is just special packaging my descendants

The only prob is when family and friends decided to come with their own wahala. I can remember a close friend telling me that it is when I have children that am truly married. Such words really HURT.
People act like they know so much bout ur problem when they know absolutely nothing about the emotional torture that u go thru.

People around those TTC should pls be
considerate and should be careful of what they say to this people.

aadetoyin: Women are trying. I totally understand this feeling because I have been TTC for a while but u should not allow ur pain get to the point that u'll avoid pregnant people.
Instead of that when my friend's kids are around, I silently pray for mine.

Definitely there are times u re down and on such days I cry real hard. I thank God 4 my hubby, that's my SUPERMAN he knows how to make me smile.

There was a time I registered on every TTC website that I Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡ but I have calmed down and I just have faith that God is just special packaging my descendants

The only prob is when family and friends decided to come with their own wahala. I can remember a close friend telling me that it is when I have children that am truly married. Such words really HURT.
People act like they know so much bout ur problem when they know absolutely nothing about the emotional torture that u go thru.

People around those TTC should pls be
considerate and should be careful of what they say to this people.

Awww E-hugs.God will surely give you your own children.Sorrow may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning.

Life is soooo much more than the children we bring into the world biologically.The process of conception is such a mystery that sometimes even science cant explain why it is not happening.Truly we need to be more sensitive around those TTC.

aadetoyin: I can remember a close friend telling me that it is when I have children that am truly married. Such words really HURT.

Hmmm. Not so sure about the 'close' part o. Please feel free to immediately smack down any id*iots that say such crap to you. Example answer: At least I don't look like a beached whale that is one plate of amala away from a heart attack. Hiss.. Walk away... Why be considerate to their feelings when they are deliberately not being considerate to yours?

ileobatojo:

God bless you for having such a great attitude! So sorry about your struggle but I pray God will answer your prayers real soon!

AMEN!

Envy changes nothing but will only make you feel worse. All you need is a supportive husband.

Wonen amd wahala is 5 and 6.