Laugh It Out With Guapo! - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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Laugh It Off...very Hilarious. / Laugh Off Your Sorrows With This Hilarious Joke / Just Laugh It Off =>daily Update- Funniest Joke (2) (3) (4)
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| Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 12:27pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
Seen Joke Greats Like Sam-Milla, Ben10 and Even my Ex-Concubine Efemena doin' this trend of 'Laugh It Out' on previous Yrs and i feel there's a need to Step into those Big Shoes and Emulate their Great Xploits! Dunno How great and Success[/b]ful am goin' to get with this thread but am really gon do hard to make it a Success Story -- Possibly having it Run for a Whole Year [Another El's Superb Collections u'll Say]  [b]Citation of Jokes to be Installed tru the pages of this Thread can be found at famous Archival Collections all around the world of humor, Works of Nigeria's Best Comedians Like Basketmouth and I Go Die and My Self made Jokes also Inclusive -- Wishing u a Happy 2012! ShaloM!  |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 12:35pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
First, Lets get Goin' with these Bible Knowledge Answers submitted by StudioCFR On his WASSCE Last Year -- I've always knew the Poor Dude to be a Pervet when it applies to Bible Tinz!  WASSCE 2011 General Bible Knowledge Answers Only! 1.The first book of the Bible is Guinness's, In the book of Guinness Adam and Eve were created from an apple [Hmm could they mean Genesis?] 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of the Ark. Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears. 3. Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the 10 Commandments. 4. The first commandments was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. 5. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. 6. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. 7. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles. 8. The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told the sun to stand still and he actually obeyed him. 9. Unleavened bread is bread made with no ingredients. 10. Solomon had 100 wives and 700 porcupines. 1 Like |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 12:38pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
New, Improved Parking Lot With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Lagos City Council,Nigeria has established a "Women Only" parking lot. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Please see below for the first picture available of this world-first parking lot in Lekki Nigeria:
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| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Foxybone(m): 12:50pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
staaaaaalllllllleeeeeeeee  |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 12:58pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
^^ Dont Judge Yet Hommie 1 Like |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 1:02pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
A Very Funny Indian Joke A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Delhi and asked to be taken to the Indira Gandhi airport. On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, 'Oh! Toyota - Made in Japan! Very fast!' Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi. 'Oh! Nissan - Made in Japan! Very fast!' Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, 'Oh! Mitsubishi - Made in Japan! Very fast!' The taxi driver, who was 100% Indian, was starting to get a little annoyed that the Japanese made cars were passing his taxi, when yet another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport. 'Oh! Honda - Made in Japan! Very fast!' The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, 'That'll be Rupees 500.' 'Rupees 500? It was short ride! Why so much?' The Taxi driver smiled as he replied, 'Meter - Made in India. Very fast.' The Wedding At the wedding reception, the photographer yelled, 'Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.' The bartender was almost crushed to death. 1 Like |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by eldav(m): 1:07pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
U try! |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 1:08pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
Super Chickens Of Nigeria Training Mikel Pass me that Ball Now Or-- Osaze
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| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 1:09pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
eldav: Thanks Bro -- One bottle Of alomo Bitters for U Tonite! |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 1:19pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
10 Commandments for Women During the Football World Cup (+10 Rules of the WFE) Extremely important recommendations for wives, girlfriends, fiancées, mothers, sisters and daughters. 10 Commandments for Women During the World Cup 1. From 11th June until 11th July 2010, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. The remote control will be fingerprinted each night, any sign of your fingerprints and all shopping trips will be cancelled for a month. 2. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in the beers, I don't mind, as long as you crawl along the floor. 3. During the football season, read the sports section of the newspaper so that you get the flavour of the football season 4. During the games I will be blinkered to match. You cannot expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, it wont happen. 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day. 6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say ' get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called ' words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. 7. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times. 8. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: I will not go, I will not go, and I will not go. 8. However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash. 9. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. The daily football season highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even say ' but you have already seen this, why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch? 10. And finally, please save your expressions such as: 'Thank God the football season is only every 4 years'. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League. |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by mikuz(m): 1:33pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
Nice! |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by bingbagbo(m): 1:46pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
el, i love your innitiative!. together let make this section the envy of the other sections |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by sutoboy(m): 11:13pm On Feb 29, 2012 |
chai! am seeing tins |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 9:49am On Mar 01, 2012 |
bin gbagbo: Xactly Bro -- With God n Allah Combined all things are Possible mikuz: Thanks Bro -- Always Got my back when i needed him most!  |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 10:15am On Mar 01, 2012 |
[size=18pt]This Joke Was Officially Performed by Basketmouth In Ghana some Yrs Back -- Tot U'll like to have a Second Look at It! [/size] In Life We Have Man and a Woman -- If U happen to be a Woman u're safe But If u're a Man Two tinz are Involved! Itz Either U're In the Military Or U're a Civilian -- If U're a Civilian U're Safe but if u're in the Military Two tinz are Involved! Itz Either U're In the Battle Field Or U're In the Office -- If U're in the Office U're Safe But If u're In the Battle Field Two tinz are Involved! Itz Either U Kill Someone Or Get Killed by Someone -- If U Kill Someone U're Safe But If u Get Killed by Someone Two Tinz are Involved! Itz Either U're Left to Decay On the Battle Field Or u Get buried -- If U Get Buried U're Safe But if U're left to Decay at the Field Two tinz are Involved! Itz Either Ur manure Helps Flowers to Grow Or it helps Trees to Grow -- If Ur manure Helps Flowers to grow U're Safe But If Ur manure helps Trees to Grow Two Tinz are Involved! Itz Either the Tree is Used in making Furnitures Or Tissues -- If the Tree Is Used in making Furnitures U're Safe but If its Used in making Tissues two Tinz are Involved! Itz Either the Tissue Is Used by a Man Or a Woman -- If itz Used by a Man u're Safe but If itz Used By a Woman two tinz are Involved! Itz Either She Uses the Tissue Via the Front Or Via the Back -- If she Uses it Via the Back u're Safe but If she Uses it Via the Front two are Stil Involved! Itz Either U Contaminate HIV Or Ghonorhea -- If U contaminate ghonorhea U're Safe but iF u Contaminate HIV. . . .One Tin is Involved! [size=18pt] DEATH![/size] -- [size=15pt]PLZ BRETHEN PLAY SAFE [/size] |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 10:23am On Mar 01, 2012 |
Drive Through ATM Procedures Please note that Banks are installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up. MALE PROCEDURE Drive up to the cash machine. Put down your car window. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. Put window up. Drive off. FEMALE PROCEDURE Drive up to cash machine. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine. Set parking Brake, Put the window down. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card. Turn the radio down. Attempt to insert card into machine. Attempt to insert card into machine. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. Insert card. Re-insert card the right side up Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. Enter PIN. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. Enter amount of cash required. Check make up in rear view mirror. Retrieve cash and receipt. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. Place receipt in back of checkbook. Re-check make-up again. Drive forwards 2 feet. Reverse back to cash machine. Retrieve card. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. Give appropriate one-manipulated hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind. Restart stalled engine and pull off. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. Release Parking Brake. |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by bright007(f): 2:34pm On Mar 01, 2012 |
where are d jokes? this thread is as stale as d name "EL-GUAPO" It is as dry as d kalahari desert. more comments coming soon, |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 4:58pm On Mar 01, 2012 |
^^ I can handle Pressures Coming Frm Mushin Conductors Like U |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 5:09pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal. Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today." Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question." Teacher: "Who said ' Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln." Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first. Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King." Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before. Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?" Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy." Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave." Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer any of the questions. When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!" The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?" Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?" 1 Like |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 5:11pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road. |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 5:12pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. "Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area." "Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!" |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 5:13pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
USA Senior Health Care Solution So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered. And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes any more. IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?! |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 5:16pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
A boy went to his grandfather's house for a week. On the first night at dinner he found a thick, slimy goo on his plate, so he said to his grandfather "Grandpa is this plate clean?" "As clean as cold water can get them." his grandfather answered. This went on for the rest of the week. On the last day when the boy was leaving the dog wouldn't let him through. So he said "Grandpa your dog won't let me through." His grandfather replied "Cold Water go lie down"  |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by bright007(f): 7:12pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
Where are d jokes?this thread is å waste of bandwidth. |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by jackpot(f): 7:57pm On Mar 15, 2012 |
CRAPS  El's collection is as stinking as a 72 year old man's faeces |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 2:34pm On Mar 16, 2012 |
Hello ma Homo Frnds! 1 Like |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 2:36pm On Mar 16, 2012 |
There was this guy at a bar , just looking at his drink . He stays like that for half an hour, Then, this big trouble-making truck driver step next to him , takes the drink from the guy and just drink it all, The poor man started crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, i was just joking. Here, I will buy you another drink, i just can't stand to see a man cry. "NO it is not that.This day is the worst day of my life, first i fall asleep and go late my office, my boss outrageous fires me, when i left my building to my car, i found out it was stolen, the police said they can do nothing . I got a cab to return home, and when i left it, i remembered i forgot my wallet and credit cards there, the cab driver just drove away. I got home and found my wife in bed with a gardener. I left home to this bar, and when i was thinking about putting an end to my life, you showed up and drank my poison. |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 2:41pm On Mar 16, 2012 |
Lol
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| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by dani1luv: 2:44pm On Mar 16, 2012 |
El Guapo: New, Improved Parking Lot lmaoo guapo dun craze. . walahi |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Foxybone(m): 10:11am On Mar 17, 2012 |
**keeps searching for the jokes, sees none**.....  \hey Guapo, I told u... This jokes are Fuuuuuccccckkkkkiiiiinnnnggggg!!!!!!!! STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE11111111111111111111111111  |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 1:10pm On Mar 17, 2012 |
^^ When Last Did u take a Cold Coke?  |
| Re: Laugh It Out With Guapo! by Nobody: 10:18am On Mar 19, 2012 |
5 THINGS INDIAN MOVIES TAUGHT ME (1) One of the identical twins is born evil. .! (2) While defusing a bomb don't worry which wire to cut, You will always choose the right one. .! (3) A Hero will show no pain while getting beaten up, But will show pain when a woman is trying to clean his wound. .! (4) A Detective can solve a case only when He is Suspended! (5) If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps..! (6) You can sing the same song with the person you're falling for even if she doesnt know u. . . . Dont worry, she knows the song |
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