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Stats: 1,788,688 members, 3,495,296 topics. Date: Monday, 24 April 2017 at 12:20 PM
|You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by shy1amy(f): 7:45pm On Oct 24, 2007|
"You must get pregnant before we can get married"
How can a man who calls himself a God-fearing-man give his wife-to-be such condition? it is ungodly, yes it is. some people said its due to "fear of the unknown" why should you be afraid of anything if you really are God fearing?
To me it makes no sense at all, what if the woman gets pregnant before the wedding and after the wedding gets miscarriage?
Lets be reasonable and allow God to have his way in our lives for crying out loud abi my people what do u all think about this kind of condition.
If u were the woman in question what will you do and if you are the guy, can yiu give your wife-to-be such condition?
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Zandra1(f): 1:40am On Oct 25, 2007|
Please make sure the guy goes for a all kinds of test cause he sounds so insecure. I hope he's not sterile and is looking for a way to pin something on the lady so as to break up the marriage/wedding. Or, who knows, maybe he just wants to have sex with her. Please if this is happening to anyone they should be very careful and also pray about it. Am suspicious of any dude that makes such a demand.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Seun(m): 8:41am On Oct 25, 2007|
This practice is not as foolish as it first seems, because child rearing is the true purpose of marriage!
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Bawss1(m): 8:52am On Oct 25, 2007|
My goodness thats a very narrow minded view to hold about marriage! I guess such a view stems from the verse in the Bible that says to go out and multiply, but u see thats not what was intended by that line, Marriage should be about companionship, love and respect, about 2 people sharing that experiences and maturing through them. Having children is not what marriage is all about and its a pity that society has placed that as the aim of all marriages! Its time people wisen up 2 the real essence of things and not be misguided. Cheers
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by jesusfreak(f): 8:59am On Oct 25, 2007|
grow up pls
i agree with you 100%.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by onyekang1(f): 9:13am On Oct 25, 2007|
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by pamangel: 9:15am On Oct 25, 2007|
i think you need to think twice about continuing the relationship cos what the guy is all about is to turn you to a baby factory. You need to really watch your steps because that guy is not God fearing at all. The main essence of marriage is for companionship and not child bearing.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Ralvy(m): 9:20am On Oct 25, 2007|
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by maitanmi(m): 9:26am On Oct 25, 2007|
I am disappointed at such an opinion because you don't even rear children but rather it's a blessing from God, thefeore you don't have control over when you are either pregnant or not. I think such a lady if is God fearing should run from such an ungodly husband to be. Procreation is only an additional blessing to marriage, companionship is the ultimate. God made Eve so that Adam will not be alone (Gen 1:27) and He blessed the union. God would have allowed them to bless themsevles rather than He blessing them. Let us wait on the Lord who knows tomorrow.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Easybaby(f): 9:27am On Oct 25, 2007|
I disagreed with you . . . No happy marriage without a child/children
The couple may appear happy outside but unhappy inside. pls just ask any couple without a child if that couple is sincere he/she will tell you the truth. But I'm not supporting the condition of you must get pregnant first
As a young man/woman you may think that child rearing is not the main purpose in marriage but just ask those who had been in it many years without a child and you will have a rethink
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Nobody: 9:31am On Oct 25, 2007|
What about a man that does not believe in God, you think such person does not have the right to give such condition?
I guess it all depends on the girl, if she thinks she is okay with the condition, she should go ahead. But if she is not okay with it, she should back out of the so-called proposed marriage. Its that simple!!!
And as for me, pregnancy before or after marriage? It will all depend on the time and the kind of girl. And that will not make me a not "God fearing man"
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by lamidebaby(f): 9:38am On Oct 25, 2007|
This is so sad. What if the problem (infertility that is,) is with the guy himself?
S'that to say he'll neva get married? just go on sampling girls for life?
what a world.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by pattiano(f): 9:42am On Oct 25, 2007|
This is absurd although some tribes do beleive that before they get married to their women, she must be pregnant first so that they dont throw their money in the drain.
But the word of God says marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled also God hates fornication. So why should one make it a condition that you must get pregnant before you marry. It is very wrong. God is the giver of children.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Soundmind(m): 9:45am On Oct 25, 2007|
I think marriage is not all about child bearing, though is one of them. I will even rank companionship over child bearing. I acn still bear children even without marriage.
Whoever is saying that is looking for a flamzy excuse. What if the man is impotent himself?
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by showbobo(m): 9:52am On Oct 25, 2007|
I THINK THIS IS WHAT IS IN VOGUE NOW.MY MUM ALSO SAID SOMETHING LIKE THIS TO ME A WHILE AGO.THAT MY FIANCEE MUST BE PREGNANT BEFORE MARRIAGE, BUT LOOKING AT IT FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE.YOU KNOW HOW SOME GIRLS MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH SERIES OF ABORTION AND MIGHT HAVE DAMAGED THEIR WOMBS.AFTER THAT THEY WOULD NOW TURN A NEW LEAF AND START GOING TO CHURCH HOPING TO FIND A MAN TO ENTER THEIR TRAP.AND ONCE YOU ARE IN IT,YOUR OWN DON BE, EVERYBODY JUST WANTS TO BE CAUTIOUS,TRYING TO LOOK BEFORE THEY LEAP, I THINK I SUPPORT THE IDEA, PREGNANCY OR NO MARRIAGE[color=Black][/color]
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by solatunde(f): 9:59am On Oct 25, 2007|
The woman in question should not strive to please man and displease God. It might take her a little longer to meet a God fearing man because this so called 'God fearing' is questionable, where in the bible did he read that or he has his own written bible. There is no short cut to God's standard, it's either you are cold or hot for him, the woman should not be threatened by any man, her stand should be for God alone. What this simply means is fornication.
After this, he will come other rules, he will tell her to stop paying tithe or things contrary to the bible. It is well o.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by lucyc(f): 10:19am On Oct 25, 2007|
Soundmind:I totally disagree with u.marriage is for companionship and love.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Seun(m): 10:23am On Oct 25, 2007|
I think marriage is not all about child bearing, though is one of them. I will even rank companionship over child bearing. I acn still bear children even without marriage.You can have companions without marriage. You can have many companions, not just one!
Marriage exists to enable every child to be brought up by two loving parents. That's all.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by gbengeoou: 10:26am On Oct 25, 2007|
Let`s be frank with ourself, no parent will be happy not to see his grandchildren at least 2years after marriage. So i`m of the view that Pregnancy before marriage is a most for my Babe.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by marvelty: 10:29am On Oct 25, 2007|
This says it all in a nutshell. Thanx dear.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by chukz4real(m): 10:34am On Oct 25, 2007|
Your are entitled to ur opinion I suppose. But as for me, I don't c anythin wrong impregnating my wife to be, provided we're sure of gettin married sooner,
That' is the reigning style man! Wake up! U never can trust most of these gals. After series of abortions from and through God knows how, they will be looking for a Born Again bros to live with. E no go work ooooooooooooooooooo!
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by linapeace(f): 10:42am On Oct 25, 2007|
As for that i will say yes marriage is not all about childbearing but it is the essence of it. with out children the marriage will be boring, and the couples will get tired of each other quickly cos is just the two of them alone, they have nothing else to distract their attention in the house, the home will be always still, and then unnecessary agression and complain will erupt, the man will always want to stay with his friends who will keep him alert and where he gets his fun, well for the westeners they can be married and say no child cos ,they just want to enjoy their life and go for holidays always without any problem with child or children. they they can stay without child till they get old but most of them get divorced 5 or 6 times. but for we african it is another ball game, i remember when my hubby married me newly ,i was schooling for six months without preg. his father came to me where i was lying and said ,u dont want to get preg. u can continue like this without giving us our grandchild as if he doesnt have grandchildren already.
so my dear this is african culture and mentality
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by yimiton(f): 11:07am On Oct 25, 2007|
Children is not the sole purpose for marriage neigther is it the true purpose.
Having said that, i think it's totally out of place to give the condition of pregnancy before walking to the isle to a woman. Has it occured to you that she could get pregnant and loose the child after the wedding due to all the stress she goes through during the ceremony.
What if that happens, do you 'un-marry' her, get her pregnant again and 're-marry' her or what do you do in that case?
What about the ladies that would rather remain virgins until their wedding nights? Do you not marry her because she wants to keep her marriage bed holy?
Please let's not subject ourselves or our loved ones with unnessesary conditions before getting married, it just sucks out the beauty and love out of it.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by cebili: 11:44am On Oct 25, 2007|
dis topic should be viewed from both sides. 1. it might be the culture of where d husband originate. for instance, in Ilesha d child must av been walking or better still they produce d no. of children they wanted before wedding takes place. 2.d man might be unsure of himself. In dis case i advise he shld go to hospital for check-ups and if ok, d lady shld do same so they will know where d problem rears.
This is 4 d benefit of both of dem
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Bidy(f): 11:48am On Oct 25, 2007|
I quite agree with everybody on this, its a free world. But when we talk about God-fearing in this matter, the first question is to ask if the two parties involved have never made love before. If they've never had sex, then there is no need for the girl to continue, its better for her to back out cos it means the guy wants children and not her. But if they've been making love, then what is the big deal?
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by cgift(m): 12:09pm On Oct 25, 2007|
Are you getting married for your parents of for yourselves Some peopl do not even wnat children to come in between thm for th first two or three years of theuir marriage sothat they can understand themselves and have more fun
So children are secondary in marraige!
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by freeguy(m): 12:11pm On Oct 25, 2007|
Marriage should be based on companionship and mutual understanding.
But having said that, marriage without a child will be as boring as hell and considering our African culture, there wont be a hiding place for the woman whom people will generally find fault with. Really, a marriage that is childless wont be a happy one.
Moreso, it doesnt necessary mean the woman must get pregnant before the wedding day as its only God that knows best. I have seen a situation where a woman was pregnant before her wedding, gave birth to a still born couple of months after the wedding and it took her more than five years who have a set of twins!
Child prcreation is a blessing in Marriage and its only God that determines that. He is all knowing!
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by choco4life(m): 12:15pm On Oct 25, 2007|
Let's be frank with ourselves, there are a thousand and one girls out there taking on abortion like no man's business.
How do you expect me to wholly trust a lady i barely know 2,3yrs (more or less, if she has a womb or not), do i know the atrocities she had committed prior to our meeting?how am i sure she has a womb? the question goes on and on ,
No man, i repeat no man wants to mortage holding the friut(s) of his loins for love, might sound so crude but this is the bitter truth and it has to be told.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Veracious(f): 12:31pm On Oct 25, 2007|
You've all made your points and i quite agree with some.
I would like to say here that the man in question is not God fearing.A God fearing man should know that pre-marital sex is wrong in the first place.Come to think of it,have'nt you seen or heard of couples who before marriage got pregnant and expecting a baby after their wedding only for the baby to die during or immediately after birth, and the lady unable to get pregnant again? And yes he could be afriad or unsure of the fertility of the said fiance but for crying out loud we are in a civilised era where these things could be detected by simply going for a fertility test, gone are those days when such was impossible. Moreover if he is scared of the woman losing her womb through diabolic means,because it is belived that some people get afflicted on their wedding day, then what happens to prayer and fasting prio to the wedding day to destroy such plans of the enemy? my dear, to me that man does not really love his so called fiance and is not God fearing either. i would suggest she prays thoroughly about it and make sure she is marrying her true bone.
I have seen couples who are more happier within and withal despict they dont have any child after trying for years in a marriage of 20 years. Children are blesings in a marriage, but at the same time does not gurrantee marital happiness.
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by Veracious(f): 12:36pm On Oct 25, 2007|
you made a very good point
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by nikkylolly(f): 12:39pm On Oct 25, 2007|
"No man, i repeat no man wants to mortage holding the friut(s) of his loins for love, might sound so crude but this is the bitter truth and it has to be told"
You will be surprise as to how many men are willing to do just that!
"I disagreed with you . . . No happy marriage without a child/children"
Of course there is! They could have decided not to have children
Gone are those days when marriage is all about child bearing. It is now abt LOVE and companionship.
"Children are blesings in a marriage, but at the same time does not gurrantee marital happiness"
I love this. SO TRUE!!!
|Re: You Must Get Pregnant Before We Can Wed! by diyobdw(f): 12:51pm On Oct 25, 2007|
Even though there are loads of marriages breaking because the girl deceived the guy know'g she can't conceive or may not due to are past promiscuous moves .
I feel the fear of "where she has been" is understandable but not acceptable to me.
If u want her to under must get pregnant against her desire,he should be ready for future sacrifices himself.
After all he might be infertile too.
my advice is that they play safe go for all the test possible and get clear on their state of but not belly by force.
What if she is not ready for child bearing?
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