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My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: - Health - Nairaland

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My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by roberts24: 7:58pm On Oct 28, 2007
My Babe Is Hiv +

Hi house, had a babe who just tested for HIV , its there a possibility of us getting married. was lucky with mine. I sincerely love her, but i think of the future when i consider our chances, its really not been easy encouraging her, though she's started on drugs, antibiotics like septrin for now.
What are our chances of getting married, i mean having babies and still staying clean.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by pheesayor(m): 8:08pm On Oct 28, 2007
U guys can get married and have HIV- children, there are procedures involved though, experts will hint u on that cos I aint one
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by showbobo(m): 8:35pm On Oct 28, 2007
dont ever try that please
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 8:37pm On Oct 28, 2007
showbobo:

don't ever try that please

Don't ever try what? Please be specific.  undecided

Unless, you're trying to suggest Robert ditches his girlfriend because she's HIV+? If that's what you're suggesting, or if that's what you would do, then probably best if you don't contribute to this thread.

Because your suggestion has absolutely nothing to do with what Robert's post is about.

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by NihilceM: 8:44pm On Oct 28, 2007
I wouldn't advice HIV positive people to have children.

That's just pure selfishness.

Don't think of how happy you'll be to have children but how these kids will feel, once they are born.

You as a parent knows the agony of a HIV patient, why would you want your child to suffer the same fate?

Even though now there are medical ways to avoid the transmission, it's not a 100% guarantee.

When it's not 100% safe, no one should dare play with a human life!
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Seun(m): 8:49pm On Oct 28, 2007
People always say marriage is about "companionship", but obviously, it's not.
Otherwise, I could have said, "get married, but don't have any children" and it would make sense. wink
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 8:57pm On Oct 28, 2007
Nihil-ce-M:

I wouldn't advice HIV positive people to have children.

That's just pure selfishness.

Don't think of how happy you'll be to have children but how these kids will feel, once they are born.

You as a parent knows the agony of a HIV patient, why would you want your child to suffer the same fate?

Even though now there are medical ways to avoid the transmission, it's not a 100% guarantee.

When it's not 100% safe, no one should dare play with a human life!

People take a risk when they decide to have children, you don't have to be HIV+ either for complications to arise.

The children can be HIV-, the chances of them being born healthy are quite high, with the right precautions and medical intervention. If your statement refers to how the children will feel, if they're clean, but have to live with the knowledge that their mother is HIV+, it's wrong to stigmatise people just because they'e positive!

I know folk living with HIV, with healthy children, and their children are as loved as any children could ever hope to be. Please don't discourage Robert from wanting to marry his girlfriend, and investigating the possibility of them having healthy children.

I think Robert's a very honourable man, standing by his girlfriend. And you think him wanting children is selfish? Think of all the "normal" folk who bring children into the world, and then neglect them! Now, that's what I call selfish!

@ Robert: Please, seek medical advice, it is very possible to have healthy children, don't be discouraged, and I wish you and your lady the best of luck.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Seun(m): 9:03pm On Oct 28, 2007
Hmmm, it's not right to mess with the health of an unborn child just to make one's girl feel better.
However, I don't think it's bad for the OP and his girlfriend to get together. It's risky, but very cute.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by PLAYETTE(f): 9:04pm On Oct 28, 2007
This is a tough call, I would not advise you to up and leave your girlfriend, But being a medical student, and knowing a couple of things about HIV, if you go ahead and marry her and try to have children through sexual means, u are at a high risk of contacting the virus,

If you love her so much and want to marry her, you DO have options as far as children, one being that you can adopt kids, BUt whatever happens make sure you have protected sexual intercourse. Through volunteering, I have worked with people who are HIV+ and their partners are negative, and they are together and happy,

Again, you have to be psychologically prepared to be married to her, ask yourself these questions;
1. Are prepared to deal with the stigma of being married to someone who is HIV+ ( cos if people know she is,                 automatically they assume you are also)
2. Are marrying her out of pity,
3. Are sure that you wont become paranoid about contracting the virus ( because that will affect the way you treat her - physically and sexually).
4. Are you prepared to handle the cost of all the drugs and treatment,
5. HIV+ patients suffer from opportunistic infections such as tuberculosis, thrush, etc. So even something as simple as a cold can kill her,
6. What about your family? Do they accept her and her status? If no, are you willing to loose them on her account?


You seem to be a good man to even think twice about being with her, and I commend you for that. But having presented you with these options, its something you have to think about seriously. I hope it helps you. I wish you all the best. Goodluck!!

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by theboy0808(m): 9:09pm On Oct 28, 2007
;d
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Scatter(m): 9:12pm On Oct 28, 2007
@poster
what is your hiv status is it + or -
you said that your girlfriend is hiv positive
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 9:41pm On Oct 28, 2007
Scatter:

@poster
what is your hiv status is it + or -
you said that your girlfriend is hiv positive

From Robert's post, he's negative.

roberts24:

My Babe Is Hiv +

Hi house, had a babe who just tested for HIV , its there a possibility of us getting married. was lucky with mine.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by PTBNaija(f): 9:42pm On Oct 28, 2007
I think you have gotten really good advice from people.

Like PLAYETTE said though, you are at a high risk for getting HIV from her through any sexual activity. So you have to be willing to understand that this is not something to be taken lightly. . .and that your life and health are at stake. So you really do have to think if you would be willing to live with this disease and deal with the stigma.

Yes, it's possible to have healthy children with HIV+ parents, but it takes quite a lot. Drugs during pregnancy and birth, and of course she has to have a c-section. But it's not 100% foolproof, so it's possible to be on these drugs and have HIV+ children. I feel like it's around a 15-25% chance. . .don't quote me on that though.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by showbobo(m): 9:49pm On Oct 28, 2007
@siena
i mean he should simply let her go.she already has the deadly disease and who knows he might also contact it along the line if not careful.cos i cant imagine myself getting married to a woman and not being able to have intercourse with her without protection, the whole disease issue would be a trauma for you all the time.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by naijadiva2(f): 9:52pm On Oct 28, 2007
if you two want to have children, you can adopt a child.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by simibrazil(f): 9:59pm On Oct 28, 2007
You can make artificial insemination for dont infect the children also she must take specif drugs during the pregnancy and don't feedbreast.

An you, have to make love with her during your whole life with condom.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Scatter(m): 10:08pm On Oct 28, 2007
@poster
if u are really hiv negative like you claim, then thank your god first, then borrow leg take off like  747 jet in fact dont look back. do you think she will wait if she knew that she is negative and you were positive? NO WAY !! think of yourself first !! you can be casuall freinds nothing more!
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 10:12pm On Oct 28, 2007
@ Scatter: That's harsh. sad
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Purist(m): 10:16pm On Oct 28, 2007
Scatter:

@poster
if u are really hiv negative like you claim, then thank your god first, then borrow leg take off like 747 jet in fact don't look back. do you think she will wait if she knew that she is negative and you were positive? NO WAY !! think of yourself first !! you can be casuall freinds nothing more!

OMG! grin
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by PTBNaija(f): 10:24pm On Oct 28, 2007
It's not harsh exactly. It's not politically correct. . .but lets be honest. I doubt more than 10% of people would stay in such a relationship. Yeah, people will say things because it's different when it implies a judgment value on themselves. When you know someone is listing to you, you will say one thing. But behind closed doors it's something different.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 10:36pm On Oct 28, 2007
@ PTB: You may be right, but it doesn't make it any less sad. cry
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Scatter(m): 10:41pm On Oct 28, 2007
Siena:

@ Scatter: That's harsh. sad

@ siena
the truth is bitter but we have to face facts here! human life is at stake here! THE BOBO NO SEND!!  He said that he is negative and the girl is positive to save him self he soulld end the relationship. if she were to be negative and he positive she wont  look back, infact she will first of all change her gsm number and tell people to warn him to stay clear of her . ABEG LEFF MATTER!!!
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by upchair(m): 10:45pm On Oct 28, 2007
Scatter, I agree with Siena that is harsh.

However my contribution has to do with our attitude generally to HIV + people on the average and not with specific reference to Robert.

You know life is funny. Human Beings on the average reject HIV positive people. That in itself "kills" them faster than HIV itself.

Meanwhile if the HIV negative earthlings who reject HIV Positive people where HIV positive themselves (God Forbid but just if), how would they feel if they were rejected. Food For thought.


However, half the time HIV negative people do not want to even imagine themselves in such a situation for 1 sec.

Lets show love to HIV Positive possible as much as possible. It can happen to any body in the sense that it is not necessarily contacted through sex alone. People get it through unsuspecting means.

There was a case in the newspapers some time in 2006 about a boy who contacted it from blood in Suya. The Suya seller was HIV positive and somehow his blood got onto the sticks /suya he was selling. Shocking right?

Another case in point was the late black tennis player Arthur Ashe who was the 1st black man to win Wimbledon. He contacted the virus during a dental operation.

It is the Grace of God that protects us. And since we have that Grace we should not humiliate HIV + people by rejecting them.

The mental trauma some of them are going through is already heavy enough for them. We should not add to it.

1 Like

Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by babadee(m): 10:51pm On Oct 28, 2007
Sorry dude but i'll say take a hike!
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 11:05pm On Oct 28, 2007
From the reaction of negative folk on here, all I can say is, I hope you're never in a position of rejection.

Just think about it.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Barrackboy(m): 11:38pm On Oct 28, 2007
@poster
With all due respect, do you know what you are talking about at all? Please check your post again. You stated that you had a babe. The word 'had' means you no longer have. You claim she's on antibiotics for now. You specifically mentioned septrin. Please enlighten me, is SEPTRIN a retroviral drug? How did she discover that she was HIV positive? Kindly shed more light on your post. I may be wrong, but I feel you are just kidding. Please tell us you are smiley
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by sunej(m): 11:42pm On Oct 28, 2007
Sorry Bros
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by showbobo(m): 11:43pm On Oct 28, 2007
Barrackboy:

@poster
With all due respect, do you know what you are talking about at all? Please check your post again. You stated that you had a babe. The word 'had' means you no longer have. You claim she's on antibiotics for now. You specifically mentioned septrin. Please enlighten me, is SEPTRIN a retroviral drug? How did she discover that she was HIV positive? Kindly shed more light on your post. I may be wrong, but I feel you are just kidding. Please tell us you are smiley

i think you should truly shed more light on it cos i see no reason why you would want to stick to this babe.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Nobody: 12:02am On Oct 29, 2007
showbobo:

i think you should truly shed more light on it because[b] i see no reason why you would want to stick to this babe.[/b]

Probably because he loves her! Not everyone's a cut-and-run merchant.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by youngdigi(m): 12:12am On Oct 29, 2007
@poster

i honestly think this decision of staying or not is urs , as a man, i don't see any reason why people in this board should be decisive on this particular issue when it concerns u and only your life, if u love this woman so much and see yourself in the future together, i'm guessing u are lookin to use protection for the rest of your life and if u've clearly considered that fact, i don't see why u cannot stay with her, or why it should be an issue of discussion

i don't think making a baby will be a good chance to take, as lots of people have said earlier, its a 50/50 chance, God knows if i came out your son and im hiv positive, its might take a lifetime for me to forgive u and my mother
on the other hand, this shudnt be a road block for u and kids, there is always an option to ADOPT, there are lots of children who dream of having parents and this cud only add to the blessings of u and your girlfriend (wife to be), just my 2 cents, if u choose to go further with it, i don't thin its the end of the world for u and her, but like i said, the decision is ultimately urs
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Bossman(m): 1:54am On Oct 29, 2007
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out for you. Either way, it's a tought decision. And, you, but only you can decide on what's best for you.

I know you said you were negastive. But, that does nto mean you are out of the woods yet. I would suggest you test yourself regularly. Since, from what I have read, it can actually take some time for this disease to show up in someone that's infected.

Best of luck to you.
Re: My Girlfriend Is HIV Positive But: by Rubbermaid(f): 4:31am On Oct 29, 2007
Siena:

From the reaction of negative folk on here, all I can say is, I hope you're never in a position of rejection.

Just think about it.
Siena:

@ Scatter: That's harsh. sad

@Sienna

Yeah. That's harsh but truth is so is life. You seem very sympathetic to the HIV infected girlfriend not sure why. But, whatever the case, If this Roberts24 poster guy was your brother would you encourage him to risk his life because life has dealt his girl a serious uppercut blow most likely as a result of her sexual decisions

Please let's be real and save the rose-tinted glasses, If Roberts24 was a good friend or family member, I would pull his ears so he hears me well and tell him to run fast. All that nonsense talk of love making it okay is pure nonsense and is not cute at all.

Reality is that love does come and love does go, but HIV is permanent - till death.

PS - I can't believe that OP said he was "lucky this time" and that she is taking SEPTRIN. So ignorant!! HIV is not by luck - it is by making sensible decisions - including being sexually responsible. Also when did septrin (AFAIK used for strep throat etc) become HIV medication?!! The bible says "My people perish due to lack of knowledge" and I think that's the fate of ignorant buffoons like this poster guy who 'got lucky' but by all means wants to jeopardize his health because of "love". He will perish too - along with his ignorant, self-medicating, septrin babe. For those who love Romeo and Juliet - that's cute! [Dripping with sarcasm]

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