@ Roberts24

My Babe Is Hiv +

Hi house, had a babe who just tested for HIV , its there a possibility of us getting married. was lucky with mine. I sincerely love her, but i think of the future when i consider our chances, its really not been easy encouraging her, though she's started on drugs, antibiotics like septrin for now.
What are our chances of getting married, i mean having babies and still staying clean.

while i dont consider your story as true i have a few things to add:
- What "future" is there to think about with a lady with HIV?

- You are treating HIV with antibiotics drugs like Septrin?
Unless the drug is being used to suppress an opportunistic infection but i thought there were anti-retroviral drugs she should be taking.

Hey Brother,

I seriously advice you to take the advice from people on this forum, you don't marry a girl out of pity where in the nearest future you will start to regret your action plus i suggest you go get yourself tested with other doctors just to make sure that you are negative, Once again do not think about now think about the future when you have children, ,

If i were you at this stage all i can do is support her financially to get her drugs and any other thing she could possibly need. But marrying her in that condition you will be risking your own life and people around you,

Good luck with you

Roberts Hi
I really can understand the way you feel, that if your story is real. the choice is really yours to make, if you truly love this girl and want to marry her, the decision is yours HIV or no HIV becos people die everyday from all kinds of sickness known to man or not. As regards having kids, you guys can adopt children, i see nothing wrong in that or seek medical advice on having kids from a speclist on HIV / AIDS cases .we should stop discouraging people living with this virus becos they are just like us. if any of us find ourself in this suitation, we need all the help, encouragement and +ve energy to move on in life. People living with the virus can have a normal life as far as you keep to the rules by taking your drugs regularly and going for checkup as at when due. The great basketball player MAGIC JOHNSON has it or HAD IT but he is still living his life to the fullest.
Robert don't despair follow your heart because it only our heart that can tell us what to do in cases like this. Also be very prayful God can indeed be very merciful if you just have faith in him.

I wish you and your girlfriend the very best and God's love, protection and guidance always. take care.

Rubbermaid:

@Sienna

Yeah. That's harsh but truth is so is life. You seem very sympathetic to the HIV infected girlfriend not sure why. But, whatever the case, If this Roberts24 poster guy was your brother would you encourage him to risk his life because life has dealt his girl a serious uppercut blow ^{most likely} as a result of her self-chosen sexual decisions
Please let's be real and save the rose-tinted glasses, If Roberts24 was a good friend or family member, I would pull his ears so he hears me well and tell him to run. All that nonsense talk of being in love so it's okay is pure nonsense and is not cute at all.
Reality is that love does come and love does go, but HIV is permanent - till death.
PS - I can't believe that OP said he was "lucky this time" and that she is taking SEPTRIN. So ignorant!! HIV is not by luck - it is by making sensible decisions - including being sexually responsible. Also when did septrin (AFAIK used for strep throat etc) become HIV medication?!! The bible says "My people perish due to lack of knowledge" and I think that's the fate of ignorant buffoons like this poster guy who 'got lucky' but by all means wants to jeopardize his health because of "love". He will perish too - along with his ignorant, self-medicating, septrin babe. For those who love Romeo and Juliet - that's cute! [Dripping with sarcasm]

Yes, I am sympathetic to his girlfriend, she may be HIV+, but she's still human. Would you rather she became an outcast?  

As for her contracting HIV as a result of her "self-chosen sexual decisions", that's very judgemental! HIV is NOT only contracted through sexual intercourse, there are other parameters to consider.

"Ignorant buffons like this poster". Hmm. It's difficult to comprehend how we react in any given situation, untill we're actually placed there. People react very differently from how they say they would, in a hypothetical situation, than if that situation became real. Please don't be so quick to judge the poster as ignorant, not everything's black and white.

I'm no medical expert, and have no idea what medication a HIV patient should be taken, but from comments so far, not Septrin. Well, if the poster's telling porkies, then it's really sad, HIV is no joking matter. But, I prefer to assume he's telling the truth, till proven otherwise.

Ok, it shows that u do love the girl, but think about the poor children u will have to bring into this world, it wont be fair to them especially if they are to be born with the virus.
Another thing is that u aswell, should get yourself tested and if u choose to remain with your babe, its your choice, there are little of u guys around but think about the pros and cons of your decisions.

Good luck

I happen to know someone  in Heart-to-heart centre. First go and check ur HIV status 3months later. if she is already pregnat,u guys can have a HIV free baby but if not u just pray 4 her, becos in the process of u trying to make baby, something else might happen. But make sure u are always there to comfort and encourage her And show her love and care, Love goes beyond making babies.

I think PLAYETTE said it all, its going to take a lot of effort, money and time for it to wirk. You might want to think this through before u take the big step. Marriage is a lifetime committment so do wats right for u,

hi Robert,

The fact that your girlfriend tested positive to HIV does not mean its the end of the world.

1. If you love her you can go ahead and marry her.

2. As she has tested positive she should go on for councelling and other medical tests so she can know her cd4 count and know if she is due for retroviral drugs.

3. Both of you will have to get used to the fact that you will be using condoms except when you decide to concieve. She will be on a batch antibiotics to reduce her viral load so that unprotected intercourse between you two will not put you at dierect risk to infection.

4. It is a life long situation which can work out and I believe it will as you care enough to stand by her.

Above all I wish you both the best.

Whas this noise about HIV/AIDS? I will share a little knowledge of what i know about the so-called deadly disease.

HIV virus, is so small that it is only an electron microscope that can see it, and how many hospitals here in nigeria have that apart from government national research centres.
And there're these many road-side laboratories claiming one should come for HIV test, what do they test for? HAve you asked yourself that question for once?

What they simply test for, is your immune system capability of fighting against antibodies, if they found out that one's immune system is down, they come out and say one have AIDS.
I strongly believe in HIV virus, but not AIDS. There're so many diseases that can cause breakdown in one's immune system like acute staph aureus, gonorhea, syphilis and so many other transmitted disaeses.
So if one should go for a proper treatment of all these diseases, one will find out after another test that the immune system is okay now, that's why so many of all these people who said they got healed from this disease from all the miracle pastors, they simply dont know the reason behind all these.

Haven't you seen in a case of a couple, where the wife was HIV+ and the man -gative, and before then they have been having unprotected sexual intercourse, what will you say happen in this case?

For one to have a girlfriend to be thinking of getting married to her, one must have had unprotected intercourse for so many times, i guess that wont also be different in this poster's case, and he's saying he's -gative.

Something else is wrong with his girlfriend but definitely not AIDS, even acute malaria and typhoid fever can break down one's immune system, so my dear poster search yourself very well and you didnt even tell us the reason your girlfriend went for that test in the first place.

As for me, i will never consciously submit myself for an HIV test oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Man, It depends on u. . .
but from my view, I'd say Bail o. . .

@ poster

Honestly am short of words,but wateva u decide ALL D BEST.

Enitan, i hope you also know that the rate of infection from a man to a woman is much more higher than woman to man. That may be the reason why the poster is not testing positive yet.

Secondly his strong immune system probably is still battling with this virus and thats why he hasnt tested postive yet.

It is very possible that the poster has contracted the virus, but the virus is still in its window period, i strongly suggest that the poster should go for a detailed confirmatory test in the space of 4-6months. If after then , he is still HIV negative, very good for him.

As per his emotions concerning this girl, he has to answer some questions sincerly in his heart, and then make his decision, Cos we wont be the one to enjoy/suffer the consequences of his decision

And those questions are

1. In future, when it becomes expensive to cater for her medical bills, would you still be commited to her, and not throw her to the streets

2. In future, if you guys were not as careful as you planned to be, and you get the virus, would you stll love her despite the fact that she infecyed you with a dreaded viral infection with no cure

3. If you decide to have your own kids, and unfortunately 1 or 2 of them have the virus,(since there's a 50/50 chance) how would you cope with their medical bill, alongside that of your wife's

i can't think of anymore now, but whatever be the case , the decision lies in your hands and nobody esp on Nairaland should influence that.

@poster

Just follow your heart and be reasonable with your decision .Gdluck

y tell dis guy not to marry her sha u can
tell ur parents n if de give u d go
ahead den i guess de love u better dan GOD

Which Parents on earth will give a go ahead to such insane action?
Unless they hate u o . . .

Go on and marry her so that you both can develop it (HIV) to AIDS
its manageable. trust me

HIV- result is only valid for 6 months! when did you have your own test after you realised that she was HIV+? if you just did, then there's really no reason for you to start rejoicing unill after your second test which should come up in six months' time then we can know if you are truly in love with her and ready to share in her misery. PLease note that septrin is no treatment for HIV cases so please come out plain cos i truly dont think any man convinced that his woman is HIV+ and he is negative will ask any more questions besides leaving her. Will you take a bullet for her? will she take one for you?
Please lets be realistic here

Actually, Septrin is an HIV medication, it's a prophylaxis against a rear type of pneumonia in HIV patients. u can marry ur galfriend and live happily, u just need to be counselled on how not to get infected and how to produce HIV negative children. I know, because i see everyday. if we want to combat HIV in our country and society, we need to combat stigma and discrimination, first. all judgmental attitudes and statements will never help. HIV can happen to anybody, no matter how morally upright you are. i have seen so many good people living HIV, and have even died. What about children that die everyday from HIV, what sin or sexual immorality did they committ? pls let's support PLWHA, especially as christians ,God expects us to show compassion on weak and helpless. "show mercy and u will be shown mercy"

Hi Playette, your response was wholesome, i like the psychological part you introduced( i really wouldnt mind if you drop ur mail, love to seek ur advice on a personal dimension)
Really it hasnt been easy, i feel like bolting away any moment i think about it,the next moment the human compassion just takes hold of me. I really dont know what method are available for intercourse, btw + and -, cos with condom all the time, kids are out of it, the whole episode its still under consideration anyway, really appreciate the whole house' advice on these,
Cheers!!!

Hi Roberts,

You probably taught people would encourage u, thinking Nigerians would is the greatest mistake u have ever made.
From what i see hear everyone who has sent a post discouraging you is a fool. I tell you non of them has gone for a check up recently.
Guy, do your thing. It only takes love and commitment. You would not get the virus if u don't want to.
Stigmatization is the greatest killer. Assuming u had already married when this happen, or she dies or the millions of health *complicacies (if there is any word like that) attacked u or her.
Do u know she might die of if u leave her, do u know that the God u serve wont forgive u for that. Or why is it said for better and for worse.
Mr Robert, I would say it again people are really stupid, u might want to stop this thread or put ur mind in disarray.
Get married, is the only advice i have for u.
A medical Dr. posted some stupid psycho resigns i bet u he probably studied in one of this schools that had their dept unaccredited. I mean how would a doctor say things like that. If he stands his right, he can come openly to the Nigeria Medical Institute and let's see if he's license wouldn't be withdrawn. Issues like this is more than just common sense it is more of practicing working modules from that have been experimented in the past.
Go to the NACA and see what u would get.

Be Encouraged

@Poster,
The only solution for you to settle down with her is to go for healing. Just pack your load and head for SHILOH at Canaan Land Ota Ogun State -Nigeria come this December and while you are there let both of you just believe that God can do it and she will come back with the healing. I was there in 2005 and 2006, i witnessed people receiving similar healings several times. With God all things are possible.
I am waiting for u to come in here and share your tesimony brother,
One Love!

Marry ur thing man, nothing dey happen!

@ pukonu

You probably taught people would encourage u, thinking Nigerians would is the greatest mistake u have ever made.
From what i see hear everyone who has sent a post discouraging you is a fool.

Let me precise that if there is a fool here that is you and I'll prove it by analyzing your post.

I tell you non of them has gone for a check up recently.
Guy, do your thing. It only takes love and commitment. You would not get the virus if u don't want to.

Only a fool infact thinks that love and commitment are enough to make a happy marriage. It's obvious that your IQ is severely undeveloped and needs proper check up. He won't get HIV if he wants? Are you nut? He is thinking of having babies through sexual means, how do you think he is not going to get infected? Do you realize the stupidities you have just written?

Stigmatization is the greatest killer. Assuming u had already married when this happen, or she dies or the millions of health *complicacies (if there is any word like that) attacked u or her.
Do u know she might die of if u leave her, do u know that the God u serve wont forgive u for that. Or why is it said for better and for worse.

He is not married so that's not a point and even if he was he would still be justified if he decides to divorce in case he hasn't been infected yet. You can't keep playing with luck.
She will still die if he doesn't leave her so your point makes no sense and please leave god out of this. God is not a heartless person and he wouldn't definitely want some people out of foolishness to cause themselves and their future children so much agony.
It's not for better and for worse because he is not yet married to her and he still have a choice. HR SHALL ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!

Mr Robert, I would say it again people are really stupid, u might want to stop this thread or put your mind in disarray.
Get married, is the only advice i have for u.

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen. A FOOL CALLING OTHER PEOPLE FOOLS. If you were intelligent enough to read through your post, you'd see the thousands of craps that it contains, but i guess u are too stupid for that.
I can also bet all the money I have that it's either you are HIV positive your self and this would explain why you want him to marry her at all cost or that you are just plain stupid.

A medical Dr. posted some stupid psycho resigns i bet u he probably studied in one of this schools that had their dept unaccredited. I mean how would a doctor say things like that. If he stands his right, he can come openly to the Nigeria Medical Institute and let's see if he's license wouldn't be withdrawn. Issues like this is more than just common sense it is more of practicing working modules from that have been experimented in the past.
Go to the NACA and see what u would get.

Check your brains. IT IS SERIOUSLY DAMAGED!

@Nihil-ce-m

nice one

@Nihil-ce-M
U just dey blast that like like say tomorrow no dey. u for leave small for people to talk too.


@ poster
It is very possible for u guys to be married and have kids without u being infected as well and it takes a lot of thinking and i believe many people don't know about that and i would say u don't need drugs at all. but for intercourse u will always have to always use condom(though not 100% secure, maybe u would have to use two together )
Have u heard about a woman in US that gave birth to a son two years after her husband died in a iraq? how did it happen? he deposited his semen in a semen bank which was latter injected into her. thats a good way to get u settled but u have to be evry careful about sex, don't get drunk or too excited to make love to her barely its gonna be disastrous if you do.
Anyway sha thats my own piece of advice, its ur decision to make, GOODLUCK guy

@Nihil-ce-M, Playette, Davidylan, Ralvy, dasarge, seun, ugonna0071 - you guys seem to be the reasonable voices here.

@ others, has the world gone mad?!! I am hearing "follow your heart", compassion, "you may not catch it, "
Do you people think HIV is chicken pox? Or, is it so prevalent in Nigeria now that it really doesn't matter anymore.

emike-i:

Actually, Septrin is an HIV medication, it's a prophylaxis against a rear type of pneumonia in HIV patients. u can marry your galfriend and live happily, u just need to be counselled on how not to get infected and how to produce HIV negative children. I know, because i see everyday. if we want to combat HIV in our country and society, we need to combat stigma and discrimination, first. all judgmental attitudes and statements will never help. HIV can happen to anybody, no matter how morally upright you are. i have seen so many good people living HIV, and have even died. What about children that die everyday from HIV, what sin or sexual immorality did they committ? please let's support PLWHA, especially as christians ,God expects us to show compassion on weak and helpless. "show mercy and u will be shown mercy"

@emike-i -
(1) To be a compassionate Christian does not mean that you forego common sense. The same way as being a Christian should not make you insane enough to jump into a lion's den thinking God will save you (ask about that Ibadan man from years ago that became lunch for the lions). Christianity does not equate to stupidity. (2) Thinking that he can CONTINUE to have unprotected sex with his HIV girlfriend in order to have HIV negative children is misguided (there is a reason it is called "unprotected sex" . Saying "You see it everyday" as your reason to encourage this man to do such a thing is simply irresponsible of you. (3) [/b]You then contradict yourself by also saying you have "seen so many good people living with HIV, and have even died" - mmh, think about that one for a minute. Okay, per chance, these people who you see having 'successful' unprotected sex are the same in number two that you see dying ie the "good people" dying of the infection? It is either you SEE a lot, or maybe common sense dictates that those SAME people are unwittingly infecting and killing themselves from the disease.
[b]
HIV has a stigma in every corner of this world and despite the compassion you urge him to have, the fact (science) of the matter is that HIV will not be curtailed by playing Russian Roulette with your private parts while thinking 'God-Help-me' ! That attitude towards HIV/AIDS is stupid and science dictates that they will catch it if they continue to do so. It also will not be curtailed by the mass acceptance of HIV as a friendly, inevitable disease to live with (as I am witnessing on Nairaland) . It will only be curtailed by people changing the behavior that leads to more people (including themselves) getting infected.

DON'T HAVE, OR ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH AN HIV PERSON. ACT RESPONSIBLY AND STOP THE SPREAD OF THIS DEADLY DISEASE.

PS - People keep saying "if he marries her" as if that's the only time he'll sleep with her. The mugu is already sleeping with her, and apparently she has also slept around so marriage is inconsequential - it is not the issue. The issue is having unprotected sex with her.

Sorry man, just pray about it and make whatever decision u want to make based on your mind set n your spiritual belief, dont let anyone push you to do what you dont want to. I've neva gone for a test before but i can feel your pain cos according to you , you are negative, whichever way sha, it's really difficult to find a good woman and if u r sure she is what u want, well its up to you. Who knows in future, they might invent a cure for the virus.

Long One:

Sorry man, just pray about it and make whatever decision u want to make based on your mind set n your spiritual belief, don't let anyone push you to do what you don't want to. I've never gone for a test before but i can feel your pain because according to you , you are negative, whichever way sha, it's really difficult to find a good woman and if you're sure she is what u want, well its up to you. Who knows in future, they might invent a cure for the virus.

U're right, keep praying!!

Bros,
You have nothing to fear about. I am -ve, my ex girlfie is +ve, my present girlfie is +ve. We sleeps together though protected.
I broke with my ex because i caught with other 3 guys at 3 different times and she denied it. She later came back and told me that it was temptation that put her into that not because she is +ve.
Health experts have told me how to get a child from her if i want. If the lady care and respect you much, go ahead and marry her.
I have seen such marriage and they are very happy.
This is when the lady need you most.
Who knows if God will hear her prayer of healing thru u?

enough of dis bull fuk abeg, a guy telling u he still loves his girl who is HIV positive, gimme a break!!!!, DON'T! abi who tell u say condom dey 100% effective?

Soundmind:

Bros,
You have nothing to fear about. I am -ve, my ex girlfie is +ve, my present girlfie is +ve. We sleeps together though protected.
I broke with my ex because i caught with other 3 guys at 3 different times and she denied it. She later came back and told me that it was temptation that put her into that not because she is +ve. [/b]Health experts have told me how to get a child from her if i want. If the lady care and respect you much, go ahead and marry her.
I have seen such marriage and they are very happy.
This is when the lady need you most.
Who knows if God will hear her [b]prayer of healing through u?

OK, I am convinced this is a joke or people have lost their minds. Do you see a dangerous pattern in the emphasized text above? And 'health experts' are encouraging this?! prayer of healing