I was dating a man who insulted me and rubbished my self esteem.while I was dating him I did everytin to make tins work.I washed,cleaned and served him cos I wanted to make tins work.I knew he had a girlfriend who he refused to dropped yet I managed along.any time I complained we would fight and I was the one been beaten up becos he is stronger than me.I remember my last birthday he didn't even give me any tin cos I refused to sleep in his house.the next day I discovered he gave the bottle of wine out out to his neighour which I bought with my own money.this guy really dealt with me dat it got to a point dat I was a shadow of myself cos the whole tin affected me emotionally.one day he sized my handbag and money and I had to trek home ten in the night just becos I insulted him and the girl he was dating.I bore all this becos of one of my auntys.she was always telling me to be patient and bear anytin I saw cos most women go thru the same.this went on from july to december and God I saw hell.I finally quite the relationship on the 31st of december when he refused to open the door cos I came two hours later than expected.dat day I decided to let go and enjoy my Godgiven life darming what ever my aunty would say.now the monkey has been runing around begging dat he wants to get married to me and he knows he wasn't fair to me and he has decided to change his way dat he was only testing me if I loved him.(He is a divorce and his former wife cleared everytin when she was leaving).he has been crying to my parents and they all seem to like him cos I never told my mum what he did to me when I was dating him(she would disown me and my aunty if she hears half of what I went thru).now he wants to get married and he wants me back.should I give him the benefit of doubt.deep down I don't know if he has changed or he is coming back cos he feels he has a dummy he can always ride on

I know poeple would say I have a self esteem problem,I don't.I bore those tins cos I wanted to satisy myself and my aunty who always complained I am not a patient person

Are you sure you have your self esteem back woman?because if you really value your God given life, you wont ask us for our opinions.If you were my sister, i will make sure that i take you somewhere else so that you can see that life is beautiful.
Abeg go and develop your life and stop attracting loosers.And honestly, please dont think about marriage for now, till you rediscover your self worth, because no man will respect you if you dont respect your self first

shushu:
Are you sure you have your self esteem back woman?because if you really value your God given life, you wont ask us for our opinions.If you were my sister, i will make sure that i take you somewhere else so that you can see that life is beautiful.
[s]Abeg go and develop your life and stop attracting loosers[/s].And honestly, please dont think about marriage for now, till you rediscover your self worth, because no man will respect you if you dont respect your self first

Thank you!

NOPE!! Guys like this wont change...they have anger issues and will take it out on any1!!
You might think that he has changed at some point, but once time goes by, and you get in an argument or irritate him- you'll realize that he hasn't changed one bit.
If you marry him, its only going to get worse. He will never ultimately change. It will get better for a little while, then he will hurt you again. And every time he will hurt you worse and worse until you're lying to EVERYONE in your life about how you got that cut, or that bruise, or how you broke your arm.
if You marry him then you're dumb and naive.

Nne no man is worth dying for, once a beater always a beater. Re u desperate? If not, delete him from ur memory nd move on. If u fall for him, u will become a door mat, not only a dummy. Na one life we get ooh. ( am talking from xperience ooh)

i would never accept this kind of guy back cus if he can hit you once, he would definately do it again. ask yourself why his wife left in the first place.

He will never change, just try and forgive him, dnt mak mistake of marry him

Please you have left, dont look back, next time dont date a man who already has a girlfriend, you cant bring happiness to your self by making others sad. Simple. If he likes let him cry blood, move on please.

The point is that uou ladies are very xtupid. Now that he wants you back, you are going to make life miserable for him. You are going to feel too big that you will remind him every now and then that he begged you to return. You will systematically attempt to run the family as the head because he wants you back. If inside you, you think or believe you cannot do all that i mentioned above, then go back. If not run like hell because the next time you will leave him will be when you already have a kid or two and that spells hell for you.

My sister please let me beg you, I'm kneeling down and begging you, pls in the name of God, run away! Pls I beg you! The man is going to kill you if you marry him. Call ur parents aside and tell them what happened btw you two so they can tell him off if he comes to beg again. But please for the love of God and yourself let him go, no one who loves you can treat you like this please.

angelhair: My sister please let me beg you, I'm kneeling down and begging you, pls in the name of God, run away! Pls I beg you! The man is going to kill you if you marry him. Call ur parents aside and tell them what happened btw you two so they can tell him off if he comes to beg again. But please for the love of God and yourself let him go, no one who loves you can treat you like this please.

This is the real deal! OP, take the offer!

Run away run far far away

IF YOU WANT TO DIE, GO BACK TO HIM, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, HE HAS NOTHING ELSE AFTER HIS EX WIFE CLEARED ALL HIS PROPERTIES..

LET ME ASK YOU

Are you a reject?

Are you a leftover?

Are you love-less?

Are you ugly?

Or a bimbo?

You have issues with self worth and self esteem and you believe without him, you are incomplete.

GO BACK TO HIM AND DIE IF YOU WANT. some women sha!

@ OP please do not go back. He is not worth it.

Please also take responsibility, dont shift the blame to your Anty, she can only give advice and not force you. Did she also ask you to date a man who already has a girfriend? No you made that choice all by yourself. I really dont know why anyone will go and be with a man who disrespects you enough to tell you he has a girlfriend and keeps you to sleep, cook and clean

When It comes to choosing who to spend the rest of your life with, NEVER GIVE BENEFIT OF DOUBT; you are either 100% sure about the person or u are not. People don't change overnight!If he was treating you like trash when you were not married to him, I wonder how he will treat you if you eventually marry him. Please be wise

rubbystar,
are you the one going through all that in your marriage or someone you know(the blog link you posted).I really feel so bad for you.omg.Is there no one who can accommodate you temporarily?

Instead of you to pursue him with broom infront of every....you are here asking questions,

chaircover: What are you still waiting for?

With that long story, Its like you are trying to justify the reason why you want to leave him.

If I were you, I will run as fast as I can away from him and even the aunty too sef so she doesn't cajole you into going back.

You are very lucky. You have been given a second chance. Not many women get that and are stuck for life with a irresponsible, wife beating chauvinistic pig.

At bolded, people be very careful of offending gentle people like us. We don't get angry, we just lose our temper. The two are too different things O.

ronkebp: Instead of you to pursue him with broom infront of every....you are here asking questions,

@op
this is excatly what you should do or pour him hot water, experience they say is a teacher. I av gone tru more than what u faced in the past and i also gave benefit of doubt but it was hell in 10folds for me, all tnx to my darling hubby who saved me. Every one as given you d perfect advice,forget the animal,but if u no hear and u decide to marry d man,just remember to buy your coffin along as you get married to him. Good luck

To start with, for raising his hands to hit you in the first place shows that he is not a man. He is an animal. Any man that raises his hands to hit a woman is an animal. Both men and women has given you their candid advises, beware. A word is enough for the wise.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha this is some funny shait mehnnnn.

Mschewwwww, off to a better thread jooo. All these low esteem senseless piece of trash that call themselves women.

Azi Gba kwa

@shushu

Dont stop posting oooo,some are heartless goats ohh yes, but their are some caring people that wont throw curses if you disagree with what they say etc. Also keep in mind their are some real immature people that have childlike mentality, so keep that in mind also, but overall some people that give advice mean well. If you are a regular you will know who to ignore and who makes sense.

@agiboma

thank you.

@Rubystarr if my i read your blog, when dod this violence start? Research has shown that most violence starts during pregnancy. Is there anywhere you can stay, i am thinking about you and the baby you are carrying this is not a safe enviornment for the both of you.

Women should please go and learn how to fight, this abuse in marraiges is getting too much.

since your parents liked him, and your doubting if you should go to him, this is what you should do.

dress properly with perfume sprayed all over your body,
wear a skimpy and sexy cloth,
put on a tight skirt or trouser that will make your A$$ swingle like a jangilover
put on a nice high heel shoes
dress your air like mami water own
put on your wet lips and eye lashes,
tell him to prepare the house, that you are coming to visit him by night (time preferable by you)
take a taxi to his house
when you reached the front of the house, call him that you are outside, that you will be in the room soon
walk straight to his door with a nice smile,
knock, and when he open the door, go close to him straight to his face and shout

THUNDER FIRE YOUR PAPA!!!

people should just understand that they cant eat their cake and have it back, imagine all what you have done to him, even on your birthday, look at what he has done to you. I understand the fact that you have a good heart, you are still thinking if you should accept him back, but i will advice you that you should not. maybe you still love him, but remember, time heals( I remember when i broke up with my girlfriend after she has misbehaved, although I love her so much, but i still allow her to go because if i put my feelings of which i have for her aside, i know she is not the ideal woman for me, and people that always tell me to let her go are not fool also just like fellow nairaland are advising you to let him go and retain your esteem and value back). very soon you will forget about him and you will see a man that appreciates you more. love should be reciprocal and not otherwise. by the way, did you care to know the reason why he divorced the other girl? do you want to be a second wife? a woman like you deserve more than this, pls step up and know your worth. and for your info, if you are deceived by the fake smile on his face thinking he will change, I PROMISE YOU WITH MY CAR (lOL), HE WILL NOT, but if you eventually go back to him for a reason best known to you, then remember this post and every other that has advised you here.