As a man, i wouldnt want my mother in-law to stay permanently with me. Meanwhile if the money is there, she will be properly taken care of. In the other hand, if i am rich enough with a big house, i am talking about something like 10 to 15 rooms, then she is welcomed to stay with us as long as my bedroom, and my sitting room are different from hers.

@Saka,There are nursing homes in Nigeria.The fact that it seems folks don't patronise them does not mean they don't exist.

@Topic,My parents(well,one as the other is late) and my PIL's are me and my husbands responsibilities when they get old.I and my husband are both eldest kids and only boy/girl child's respectively so we are already prepared for the task ahead.

My mom and my PIL's don't actually have to live with us before we take care of them.Visiting for short periods,getting them a permanent care giver,having them actively involved in whatever hobby they like,taking our kids to them for vacation and having them go for vacations are some of the plans we have for them when the right time comes.Not forgetting my brothers and SIL's kids and homes too.

My mom can't even stay with me for more than 3 months at a strech.she says she misses her church and evangelism plus "our night noise" that probably gets her prayers stranded at the rooftop. . .lolz

Sayings of the Prophet (S.A.W.)
On Parents
In America there are many days set aside to honor and appreciate special people in our lives. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day, Grandmother's and Grandfather's Day, etc. We do realize the significance of these occasions and the ideals and philosophies of setting aside certain days to recognize and appreciate these people. As for the appreciation of parents, it should be a daily recognition rather than a special occasion according to the Holy Qur'an and Hadith.

We are taught that a Muslim should respect and appreciate his or her parents every day throughout the year. In the Qur'an, appreciation and treatment of parents is described beautifully in Surah Al-Isra in which Allah (swt) says, "Your Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness lower to them the wing of humility and say: 'My Lord! Bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.'" (Quran 17:23-24)

Recognition and respect of parents is mentioned eleven times in the Qur'an. In every instance, Allah reminds children to appreciate the care and love they received from their parents. In one aspect, Allah demands that children honor their parents by saying, "We have enjoined on man kindness to parents." (Quran 29:8 & 46:15)

This is stated again in Surah Al-Baqarah (The Cow) with, "And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents..." (Quran 2:83)

...and in Surah Al-Nisaa (the Women), "And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents..." (Quran 4:36)

...and in Surah Al An'Am (The Cattle), Allah (swt) reiterates that people should honor and be kind to parents, "Say: Come. I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to parents..." (Quran 6:151)

It has been related that a person came to the Holy Prophet to take part in the Emigration (Hijrah) against the will of his weeping parents. The Holy Prophet told him to go back to his parents and come back only after pleasing them as he had made them cry. (Abu Dawood)

In fact, Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes immediately after praying to Allah and before Jihad (struggle and striving in the way of Allah) ...this would indeed make it a very powerful and important injunction. This implies that we should take it not only as a worldly affair but as a religious duty also. Almighty Allah and His Holy Prophet have both laid much emphasis on obeying, serving and pleasing our parents.

The Prophet (pbuh) when asked "Which deed is most liked by Allah?" replied, "Prayers on time." Then asked, "Which one next?" said, "Goodliness to parents", then asked again, which next, replied, "jihad in the way of Allah".

Mothers
Although Islam recognizes both parents, mothers are given particular gratitude and respect. This attitude of Islam is better understood if we realize the hardships and suffering that mothers experience in their lives. It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and asked him, "Who amongst his near one had the greatest right over him?" The Prophet replied, "Your mother". The man then asked, "Who after that?" to which the Prophet replied again, "Your mother". Asked who is next, the Prophet again replied, "Your mother". When the man asked who after that, the Prophet said, "Your father".

In another narration the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) said, "Paradise lies at the feet of mothers"...emphasizing that each of us should cherish and respect his/her mother and that pleasing them will serve well in the hereafter also.

As a matter of fact, the importance of one's mother is exemplified by the following hadith: Once, when the Holy Prophet was talking to his companions a man came and addressed him, "O Messenger of Allah! A young man is dying. People are asking him to recite Shadada but he is unable to do so." The Holy Prophet asked, "Did this man offer his prayers," and got the answer in the affirmative. Then he went to the house of the dying man. The Messenger of Allah advised him to offer the kalimah. The man indicated that he was unable to do so as the words could not come out of his mouth. He then called the mother of the dying man whom he had disobeyed persistently throughout his life. When his aged mother approached the scene, the Holy Prophet asked, "Respected lady, is he your son?" She replied in the affirmative. He then put to her a question, "O respected lady, if we threaten to throw your son in a raging fire, will you recommend him to be forgiven?" The Lady replied that she would definitely do so at that time. The Holy Prophet then said to her, "If so, declare, making Allah and me your witnesses, that you are now pleased with him!" The old woman readily declared, "O ' Allah, You and your Messenger be my witness that I am pleased with this beloved son of mine."

The Holy Prophet turned to the dying man and asked him to recite, "There is no god but Allah. He is One and has no partners and I witness that Mohammed is His Servant and His Messenger." By the virtue of the forgiveness of his mother he found the words flowing out of his mouth and he recited the Kalimah. Seeing this, the Holy Prophet praised Almighty Allah and thanked Him saying, "Thanks to Almighty Allah that He saved this man from the fearful fire of Hell through me." (Tabarani, Ahmad)

A man once came to the Prophet (pbuh) and sought his advice about taking part in the Holy War (Jihad) with him. The Holy Prophet asked him whether his mother was alive? He answered in the affirmative. The Holy Prophet then told him. "Go back home and serve her as if heaven was under her feet." (Ibn-e-Majah, Nasai)

Thus the fact comes to light that a mother deserves service, love, submission, obedience and gratitude from the children more than the father. This is because a mother generally makes more sacrifices and endures greater hardships than a father while bringing up the children. She feeds them and takes care of them by sacrificing her comforts in the day and her sleep in the night without any greed or compulsion but only out of sheer love and affection. This devotion is lifelong. This is the reason why the Holy Qur'an has given more importance to the mother and stressed upon the children to be more considerate and submissive to her in comparison with the father.

A person came to the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) and complained that his mother was ill tempered. The Holy Messenger said, "She was not ill tempered when she kept you in her womb for nine months." The person insisted, "Sir, I am telling you the truth that she is ill-tempered." The Holy Prophet said, "She was not ill-tempered when she used to keep awake the whole night for your sake and feed you." "I have recompensed all these favors of my mother", boasted the complainant. The Prophet then asked, "How have you recompensed her?" "I have helped her perform hajj by putting her on my shoulders," he replied. The Holy Prophet then stated, "Can you also recompense the painful pangs which your mother bore at the time of your birth?"

The right of the mother to be served and treated nicely is three times greater than that of the father, for she renders three such services to her children which cannot even be imagined by the father. The mother bears the burden of the child during pregnancy, stands the pains of delivery, and then feeds the child from her breasts." These three important services are also mentioned in the Holy Qur'an. As afterwards both father and mother play equal parts in training and bringing up the children, emphasis has been laid on the fair treatment for both of them by their children.

Of course both the parents play their parts in bringing up the children at the cost of their own comforts and pleasures. The father feels happy to spend his hard earned money upon them while the mother feeds them from her own blood (milk). Thus the children are brought up by the joint toil, love and affection of both their parents. Consequently the best treatment from the children is stressed in the Holy Qur'an and Sunnah for them.

If we go through these verses of the Holy Qur'an the following points will be evident:

(1) Parent's rights are next to those of Almighty Allah in Islam. This is authenticated by the fact that, after the description of the Unity of Almighty Allah, the Holy Quran has repeatedly ordered for the most pleasant and submissive behavior with the parents.

(2) When parents become old their temperament changes. They usually become easily irritable and short tempered due to their age. Their children should take these changes for granted and show considerable patience and magnanimity for their aging parents.

(3) Parents should be respected and revered throughout their lifetimes.

(4) The children should adopt attitudes of humbleness, politeness, and obedience for the parents. They should readily carry out the orders of parents and also feel comforted by doing so. In old age when parents are invalid and naturally depend upon their children, the children should serve them like an obedient servant. While doing so, they should feel exalted and thank Almighty Allah for having the opportunity of serving their parents in their old age.

(5) We should recall those days of infancy when we were totally dependent on our parents. During that period we were weak and in need of help from the parents to survive. In those days our parents nourished us with love and affection bearing all sorts of hardships. They felt happy when we were happy and became restless when we were even slightly disturbed. The children should always have these memories fresh in mind and pray to Almighty Allah to be merciful and kind to their parents in their old age as they had been considerate and kind to them in their hour of need.

Hazrat Abu Osaid narrated that once, while he was sitting with the Holy Prophet, someone asked the Holy Prophet (pbuh) whether there were any steps which he could take to benefit his parents even after their death. The Holy Prophet (pbuh) replied, "Yes", there are four such things: (1) to pray for their deliverance and forgiveness, (2) to accomplish their promises and carry out the proper wills, (3) to respect and treat their friends well, (4) and to be nice and kind to those who are related to you through your parents." (Al Adab Al-Mufrad)

Apart from service, submission and obedience to the parents, the Holy Qur'an also stresses upon the children not to be miserly towards them; rather they should give first preference to their parents in spending their money. They are even entitled to take money from their own children by compulsion in their parents hour of need. Obedience to the parents includes financial help also.

Once a man complained to the Holy Prophet about his father who took away his belongings whenever he liked. The Prophet (pbuh) called for the man's father, who was a very old man, and asked him the details of the matter. He said, "O' Messenger of Allah, there was a time when he (the son) was weak and helpless and barehanded while I had strength and wealth. I never hesitated to give him my belongings whenever he needed them. Today I am weak and barehanded while he is rich and now he keeps his belongings from me." Hearing this, tears came to the eyes of the Prophet, and he said to the son, "You and your belongings belong to your father. You and your belongings belon to your father. There is good news for them who behaved well with their parents. Allah will increase the period of their lives."

Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children even if the parents are non-Muslims. They are still parents and gave birth to them and cherished them bearing the same pains and hardships which are faced by Muslim parents. Consequently, in spite of the religious differences, it is the duty of Muslim children to serve and treat them with kindness, respect and devotion. All parents should also be helped financially and should not be given a chance to complain in worldly affairs. If non-Muslim parents strive to convert their children to non-Islamic beliefs, the children are not to follow them, but they are still to be good to the parents. In this regard Allah (swt) says in Surah Luqman:

"And we have enjoined upon man concerning his parents...his mother bore him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto me is the journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the part of him who repents unto Me. Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you used to do." (Quran 31:14-15)

We all hope to show the respect and consideration asked of us by Allah to our parents while they are with us in this life. For those of us that have lost one or both parents there are still actions that can be taken to honor them. Make daily Du'a' for them, give charity on their behalf or in their name, institute a perpetual charity on their behalf such as a Masjid, Islamic Library, Islamic materials for dahwa, read Qur'an on their behalf, distribute Islamic literature in their name.

Let us pray that we will all do our best to respect our parents, honor them, be kind to them, help them, and please them for the love of Allah.

Any amongst you who sees something evil should correct it with his own hands. If he is unable to do so he should correct it with his tongue. If he is unable even to do that, he should at least consider it as bad in his heart. This is the lowest degree of faith.

Duty of children towards parents clearly defined

by - Riaz A. Siddiqui


ALL religions of the world have laid great emphasis on the rights of parents and the duties of children towards them. According to Islamic teachings, to be obedient and to show kindness to parents has been enjoined in the Holy Quran in such a manner as to say that among the noble deeds, to obey parents, treat them respectfully and to show kindness to them is next to worshipping Almighty Allah. The Holy Quran says, "Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor." - Surah Al Isra (17:23).
According to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the parents of a certain person arehis Heaven or Hell. What this means is that if a person obeys his parents, attends to their needs and keeps them happy and comfortable, he will attain Paradise. On the other hand, if he is disrespectful and rude to them, offends them by ignoring their needs and feelings or causes them grief in any manner, his place shall be in Hell. In modern times, a trend has arisen whereby when parents come to be seen as a liability because of old age and physical weakness. They are then sent to 'old people's homes'.

But the stricture ordained by Islam makes it clear that shrugging off the responsibility of old parents serves as an invitation to Hell. Both the father and mother are equal when it comes to caring for them and providing them all possible physical comforts and mental peace. The time that the parents need to be looked after most, is in their old age. To serve them devotedly at that stage of their lives is the best way of pleasing Almighty Allah. It is also one of the easiest ways of attaining Paradise. Abu Hurairah, a companion of the holy Prophet, has said that "a person is indeed disgraced, who does not earn Paradise by caring for his parents during the life time and old age of his/her parents".

A person once asked the holy Prophet, "Who has the greatest claim on me with regard to service and kind treatment?" The Holy Prophet replied, "Your mother and again your mother and once again your mother. After her is the claim of your father, then that of your near relatives, and then of the relations next to them". This shows that the claim of a mother is greater than a father over the care that you endow upon them in their old age. Serving and obeying parents is a matter of give and take. Those who treat and obey their parents can rest assured that their children will also show kindness and compassion to them. Respecting and caring the parents is a virtue of the highest order that continues to transcend generation after generation.

Asma bint Abu Bakr relates that her mother had come from Makkah to Madinah to meet her. Her mother was not a Muslim and followed pagan tribal customs and beliefs. Asma enquired from the holy Prophet how she was supposed to treat her. The holy Prophet told her to be kind and considerate and to behave towards her as was a mother's due from a daughter. Obeying one's parents and treating them with respect and affection is a great virtue and it serves as repentence for a person's sins. Similarly, to ask Almighty Allah to have mercy on them after death is an act that brings them comfort in their graves. It is the duty of sons and daughters to pray for the forgiveness of their parents after their death and treat their relatives and friends with due respect. In the Holy Quran, Muslims have been urged to pray for the salvation of their parents as shown in the following verse: "And say, My Lord, Have mercy on both of them as they cared for me when I was little".

The holy Prophet has said that to abuse one's parents is a major sin. So much so that if a person abuses someone else's parents and that person, in retaliation, abuses his parents, then it is as though he himself has abused his parents. On another occasion, when asked about the major sins, the holy Prophet replied, "To associate someone with Almighty God, to disobey parents, to kill unlawfully, and to give false evidence".

In the light of the Holy Quran and holy Prophet's sayings, one can understand that the respect for parents occupies a special place in the moral and social teachings of Islam. -

No!
A fulfilled parent will neva subject his/her self 2 d child(ren). All an appreciative child should do is 2 ensure dat d parent are happy by being supportive. Being supportive could be financially, morally, psychologically or otherwise. By doing this, its an example 2 his children dat wen d he is old, his own children should be helpful too.
I think its poverty that subjects a parent 2 d child.

[The Quran 17:23-25] Your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship except Him, and your parents shall be honored. As long as one or both of them live, you shall never say to them, "Uff" (the slightest gesture of annoyance), nor shall you shout at them; you shall treat them amicably.

And lower for them the wings of humility, and kindness, and say, "My Lord, have mercy on them, for they have raised me from infancy."

Your Lord is fully aware of your innermost thoughts. If you maintain righteousness, He is Forgiver of those who repent.

[The Quran 19:12-15] "O John(Yahya), you shall uphold the scripture, strongly." We endowed him with wisdom, even in his youth.

And (we endowed him with) kindness from us and purity, for he was righteous.

He honored his parents, and was never a disobedient tyrant.

Peace be upon him the day he was born, the day he dies, and the day he is resurrected back to life.

[The Quran 29:8] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. But if they try to force you to set up idols beside Me, do not obey them. To Me is your ultimate return, then I will inform you of everything you had done.

[The Quran 31:14] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. His mother bore him, and the load got heavier and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning. You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your parents. To Me is the ultimate destiny.

[The Quran 46:15] We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. His mother bore him arduously, gave birth to him arduously, and took intimate care of him for thirty months. When he reaches maturity, and reaches the age of forty, he should say, "My Lord, direct me to appreciate the blessings You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to do the righteous works that please You. Let my children be righteous as well. I have repented to You; I am a submitter."

"Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young." [Quran 17:23-24]



Heaven Lies Under the Feet of Our Mother

Anas(ra) related that Rasulullah(saw) said, "Verily, Heaven lies under the feet of our mother."

General Meaning--Whoever intends to enter Heaven should respect and dignify his parents, especially his mother. Our mother has carried and given birth to us. Furthermore, her du'a will be granted by Allah. Thus, we must serve her well.

Society is indeed losing its grip on family togetherness. From what I am reading here, parents are seen as better off when they stay away. BTW, has anyone considered that we will also be like them some day? What will we want? To be thrown into a care home and left there with strange people?

What happened to the beautiful picture of a granny always waiting in the couch to receive the grandchildren when they come back from school? I enjoyed that growing up and because it was pleasant for me, I will also ensure that my children has the same privilege.

My dad is late, but as soon as my mother and in-laws retire, they are coming in with us

Would I want my parents to hear my moans and grunts during sex? Hell no!
I'd get them a flat in the next town, or maybe state. Marriage is for two people, not two people and their 'rents.

May God bless us real good and give us wisdom to handle every challenges of our life.Whether we bring them in with us or not, we have obligatory duty to take care of our parent.

Culturally it is their right that we take good care of them at old age, and biblically it is written that we should honour our parents. Husband and wife need to agree on whether they will get a good place with help to take care of their parents or take them in with them.

Please it is a good thing to take care of your parents, not just your parents but others around you that you are sure need help especially old people.

TO me is a simple thing, a vice verser thing,them takin care of u in ur young age, u will as wel do d same to them in their old age. Secondly i disagree with them stayin permanently wit me in my matrimonial home,i wil only allow temporal stay,becos there are so periods when u wil want to b seeing only ur wife and no body else in ur home

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vanariso: "Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young." [Quran 17:23-24]

JazakhaAllah Khair

thank God for the kind of woman He gave me as a mother. My mum doesn't like becoming a burden to anyone and she understands very well. Instead of selling all her possesions and move into any of her children's house, my mum would rather chose to be comfortable in her own house while her children visits her and she also visits them once a while. But we must send her grand children to her whenever they are on holiday. Thats my mum.

This is a very delicate one!! I'm of the opinion that our parents are our responsibility in old age just as we were theirs when we were little. Not every parent was fortunate/wise enough to make arrangements for their upkeeping in old age. According to one's case(which you know more than anyone else), one is expected to know what suits one's parents most. Be it getting them an apartment, a permanent maid, bringing them in or putting them in a home.

My mom is late and she solely trained my siblings and i. I would have gladly brought her in but i'm sure i wouldn't have needed to do that untill she's 80yrs. Due to the fact that she's very active, richer than all her kids also.

If my irresponsible dad needed help(even if he's richer than my mom), i'd simply refuse and refer him to the kids he took care of at our expense.

As for my in-laws, i've stayed 4mths with my mom in-law. She's a darling but i can't stand the idea of having her indefinately in our home. But i'd undstd if that's my hubbys choice simply because i'd have done same for my mom.

dayokanu:
Would you be able to moan in your bedroom knowing your mom might be overhearing her innocent daughter making those obscene sounds and asking for more

The youth of marriage is usually the most free part of the institution.
Even when the kids start coming in, you change habits; which includes regulating the volume of your moan or waiting for them to go to bed before humping.
So, when/if the parent comes, habits will be changed.

TOPIC:
That she may live long long enough to have me voluntarily and joyful mother her! I'm obligated to.

Taking care of my parent is my responsibility
all these depends on the kind of parent u have;how they view things then u know how to treat them some parent really like staying in the village or in their own house,no matter how u tried u cant pull or convinced them even to visit u is a problem, in such case all u need do is to provide for them.while some cases some parent can be very demanding as in their right if u hav such parent start brushing them now.but i must tell you that parent staying with their daughter or son might not be their own suggestion rather the children due to no one to take appropriate care of them or is more cheaper and stil help them take care of their kids.well!it depends on u

Taking care of them, by providing for thier upkeeps and ensuring they have decent living.When they are sick, you can bring them over to your place and nurse them back to health.After wish they can go back home.Most of the times, old pple always want to stay in thier original place of abode;they might enjoy the city for a while but they usually long for thier homes in the village.

MY grandma was a very peaceful woman b4 Mr.death took her away... and she stayed in our before she pass on, and she and my mum were in good relationship even more then my dad, we enjoy everyday we spend with her,
... i think if every mother can be like that, there is no problem for your age parent moving to your house.

she is my father's mother.

@dayokanu: I concur with you but u know these women do not agree with reality.When I was living in a one-room apartment, and brought in my younger brother, my then gf would say leave him, but once I convinced my brother to move to a neighbor's apartment she would jump on my pe--nis ASAP.

dayokanu:

Sorry about your dad. So if your husband brings his two that means 3 elderly ppl in the house.


Would you be able to moan in your bedroom knowing your mom might be overhearing her innocent daughter making those obscene sounds and asking for more

I know u enjoy hearing people's moan!! Bad pickin!!

Yea it is I and my other sibling's responsibility.Its a thing of joy to take care of your parents just like they cared for you when you were a child.

Taking care of our aged parents should be our obligation as children. There are also blessings that go with it. Even if we cannot bring them to stay together with us; we should see to it that they're comfortable and well taken care of wherever they are.

It's not that advisable to bring in ones parents to stay with him permanently when one is married for the sake of conserving one's marriage.

YES.

It is my responsibility to take care of my parents.

Absolutely!

Just the way it was their responsibility to take care of me when I was young.

I absolutely love this! Soo many factors are involved apparently til today china has a problem with the ageing population and the previous one child laws, children are left with generations of mouths to feed,very sad indeed.

Nobody is coming to live with me, thats not even happening. No child is asked to be brought into the world, you certainly shouldnt have children with the sole hopes of depending on them in future its unfair.
However depending on the provision you have made in your working days your child may be more than happy to care for you full time following retirement.

Nobody should demand such nonsense and this old woman shouldnt be suprised if halfway through her joyous stay in her daughters home she is bundled to the nearest oaps apartmens! lol she is a ridiculous individual. Is she the only woman with children? If everybody decided such who will have time to work? Mshew

Moreover the cold and boredom of America wont work well with my parents.[img]http://www.filii.info/g.gif[/img]

There is no way either my parents or in-laws will move into my home permanently. However, they will not lack money, food to eat and a roof over their heads as well as medical cover. Indeed presently, my brothers and I pick up all our parents' bills.

To be honest, how many of us truly want our parents to move into our matrimonial home. It is my responsibility to take care of my parents after they are retired, however they do not have to move into my house. I will adequately provide and pay for whatever needs done.

Knowing my parents, they wont even consider moving in or asking me for anything. They are both working and independent and are making plans for retirement. This is the best case scenario because i know whatever i do for them will be out of love and appreciation, and not pressure.

Jemibee: This is a very delicate one!! I'm of the opinion that our parents are our responsibility in old age just as we were theirs when we were little. Not every parent was fortunate/wise enough to make arrangements for their upkeeping in old age. According to one's case(which you know more than anyone else), one is expected to know what suits one's parents most. Be it getting them an apartment, a permanent maid, bringing them in or putting them in a home.

My mom is late and she solely trained my siblings and i. I would have gladly brought her in but i'm sure i wouldn't have needed to do that untill she's 80yrs. Due to the fact that she's very active, richer than all her kids also.

If my irresponsible dad needed help(even if he's richer than my mom), i'd simply refuse and refer him to the kids he took care of at our expense.

As for my in-laws, i've stayed 4mths with my mom in-law. She's a darling but i can't stand the idea of having her indefinately in our home. But i'd undstd if that's my hubbys choice simply because i'd have done same for my mom.

. God bless you abundantly and i hope i find a woman like you!

I wouldn't even think twice before bringing my parents to PERMANENTLY live with me.
They gave me the enviable life that i have and made me who i am today,so the least i could do to say thank you is keeping them company in their old age in my house regardless of the part of the world am domiciled in. And should my wife ever complain about it,i 'll file for a divorce,straight up!

I feel sorry for her future son in law