ifyalways: For your sanity,begin now to forget that money.
How in Gods green earth do you borrow money to a married woman without a neutral 3rd party as a witness?

Question for you sir:
How would you react if 3 months after your wife's death,her male colleague comes to you with a post dated cheque and claims ur late wife was owing him?no witness,no written IOU.

A hard loss for you but a very important lesson to be grabbed too.

Pursue this issue to much and you'd be surprised to see it twist to "she were your secret lover" or something.Then again,if the husband is a gentleman he might understand and come up with a payment plan.

Another way to go about is to look for respectable folks in your company and see if they'd be convinced about this your story.They can now act as middlemen and help you go meet the man.

nzenze2:


we were recruited the same day.found out we were from the same state and have been..we have been friends since then..like 2yrs now..moreover she was single then..she got married last year and we have maintained that friendship.

i have the post dated chq and payment details..thats d only evidence i have.

deshclones: o boy..just kiss your money goodbye...lady is dead and gone and there is nothing you can do about it.


nawaoh...700k thats some cool dmoney gone down the drain.

taryour:
very true,u eida forget d money n pray to God to enrish ur pocket or u get d money bak in bits,like geting 5k to 10k per month or less dan dat cos d man will av other bills to meet with.

debrief08:
Please can we quit this defeatist attitude and stop discouraging the guy? Haba, let him try first, we discourgae people from getting thier dues all the time: "dont go to court to challenge wrong dismissal, you will waste time and money" "dont go to court when a Doctors malpractice costs a life, leave it to God to judge", haba, allow the guy to try first, he didnt ask if he should get his money or not, he asked HOW he should get his money, if you dont know how one can recover money lent to a deceased then let him be. It is his money, he deserves to try all avenues to recover it, it is not his fault that she died, he did a favor by helping a friend in need.

Johndoe100: @OP
You can get your money back only on these two conditions being met:
First the husband or official next of kin has it to give. Second you have enough heart to get it back.
You have enough evidence of a contract in the withdrawal documents and the post dated cheque (which I hope was writtten in your name). You must get a lawyer and make a formal claim against estate both at your office and at the court. You must ask your lawyer to gat an injunction stopping her next of kin from disposing of her estate and your office from paying any death benefit to her next of kin until the issue is settled, the insurance company holding your company/organizations GPA if any must also be cited as the third co -defendant. You stand a very good chance to get your money plus costs. However you will have to deal with hypocritically weeping avaracious relatives. If you need any practical help let me know.

question: May she RIP.
Did you attended the burial? at least a show concern (not only for the money).
Did her baby survive?

Anyway, Lesson #1 Never lend money you cant afford to lose.

My advice is to inform the husband. If he pays, good.
If he does not want to pay or cannot pay, just forget the money and move on.

Who says you can give away more than N700k to charity.

nzenze2: Good day house,

I borrowed money to a colleague of mine last two months..she had a little problem with her rent and borrowed the sum of 700k from me.she promised to pay me once they pay us our profit sharing allowance.she gave me a post dated chq.

My problem started when she died via child birth three weeks ago..she was buried this past Thursday (may she r.i.p)...the chq bounced when i presented it for payment..i guess the family used the funds for her burial.

Am now at a dilemma..how best do i approach her husband to demand refund of the money i borrowed the wife??

i have no witness,the only evidence i have is the electronic printout the bank gave me when i transferred the money and the bounced chq.

any useful advise will be appreciated as i really need this money.

Efemena_xy:

This really is a tough one and a sad story too.

I'm not even sure what the best advice to give you in this situation might be especially as it involves a married woman here.

You really need to put yourself in the husband's situation - he's lost not only his wife but his newborn baby - a double blow. If he has no awareness that his wife borrowed such a huge some of money, then this could prove really tricky for you. He might want to know why the secrecy in the first place? How long has this been going on behind his back and like someone already pointed out, he might even suspect you of being his wife's "lover". If it turns out this way, then your might as well kiss that money goodbye - as this would really embitter him.

If on the other hand he is aware that his wife borrowed such sums from you before she passed away, then you might be in for a bit of luck. Not easy though but a bit better than the first scenario. In this case, you'd still have to be extremely cautious on how you approach the matter. If you transferred this sum of money from your bank account to hers, then your bank statements should prove this. As you both work in the bank, you should also be able to provide evidence that this electronic transfer did take place, coupled with the postdated check given to you. Has the post dated cheque got her signature? and was it written in your name?

But I do wonder, what would you do if the husband in question says she did pay you the full amount (in cash) and that you want to use this sad occasion to "pull a fast one" or "scam" the family?

You might need to employ the services of a good lawyer to help you fight this out legally. Additionally, you might need to get some elderly married people (males) to help you fight your corner.

Sorry to paint such a bleak picture but this does not really look good for you. Lending a married woman such huge sums without any 3rd parties / witnesses / IOU's.

May the poor lady's soul and that of her newborn child rest in peace.

Efemena_xy:

This really is a tough one and a sad story too.

I'm not even sure what the best advice to give you in this situation might be especially as it involves a married woman here.

You really need to put yourself in the husband's situation - he's lost not only his wife but his newborn baby - a double blow. If he has no awareness that his wife borrowed such a huge some of money, then this could prove really tricky for you. He might want to know why the secrecy in the first place? How long has this been going on behind his back and like someone already pointed out, he might even suspect you of being his wife's "lover". If it turns out this way, then your might as well kiss that money goodbye - as this would really embitter him.

If on the other hand he is aware that his wife borrowed such sums from you before she passed away, then you might be in for a bit of luck. Not easy though but a bit better than the first scenario. In this case, you'd still have to be extremely cautious on how you approach the matter. If you transferred this sum of money from your bank account to hers, then your bank statements should prove this. As you both work in the bank, you should also be able to provide evidence that this electronic transfer did take place, coupled with the postdated check given to you. Has the post dated cheque got her signature? and was it written in your name?

But I do wonder, what would you do if the husband in question says she did pay you the full amount (in cash) and that you want to use this sad occasion to "pull a fast one" or "scam" the family?

You might need to employ the services of a good lawyer to help you fight this out legally. Additionally, you might need to get some elderly married people (males) to help you fight your corner.

Sorry to paint such a bleak picture but this does not really look good for you. Lending a married woman such huge sums without any 3rd parties / witnesses / IOU's.

May the poor lady's soul and that of her newborn child rest in peace.

Siena: 700,000 NGN is a lot of money to lend, without a third party present as a witness, or any other legal document. But, I personally would not be looking to demand that money back, I would feel like I was a grave robber.

And as for those saying the husband must have been privy to this "loan", that's all assumption. He may well have been aware, and he may not have, we'll never know. Someone mentioned EFCC. What good will that do? The husband didn't present a rubber cheque, and in order to prosecute him, it would have to be proven he was privy to his wife borrowing the money in the first instance.

My advice? Laminate that bounced cheque, stare at it from time to time, and be more savvy in future. We all make mistakes, but it's only a fool that doesn't learn from these mistakes, and repeats the same. Good luck!

nzenze2:
my brother..the reality that i have lost my money is gradually staring me in the face but i refuse to accept defeat.

i will sharply involve the police.we were duly paid our profit sharing allowance some days back..23rd of this month precisely and she was paid..i delayed cashing the chq as the chq was dated 26th of this month...i was just as astonished as you can imagine getting to the bank and meeting an empty account..someone suggested the husband is playing a fast one on me and i believe it...cause the speed the money was moved beats me.

am not giving up...never..i just need a good advice on how to go about it in a gentle and humane way as i don't want to use agberos and thugs...am down for whatever..

nzenze2:


my brother..the reality that i have lost my money is gradually staring me in the face but i refuse to accept defeat.

i will sharply involve the police.we were duly paid our profit sharing allowance some days back..23rd of this month precisely and she was paid..i delayed cashing the chq as the chq was dated 26th of this month...i was just as astonished as you can imagine getting to the bank and meeting an empty account..someone suggested the husband is playing a fast one on me and i believe it...cause the speed the money was moved beats me.

am not giving up...never..i just need a good advice on how to go about it in a gentle and humane way as i don't want to use agberos and thugs...am down for whatever..

Efemena_xy:

No - Don't be too quick to judge the husband pls. You know the saying: "innocent until proven guilty". There could be other factors coming to play here. Who else might have access to her account?

If the husband is indeed playing a "fast" one on you, then your chances of getting your money back are even slimmer than before, as it only goes to show that he never intends to pay back that money to you. . .

If you involve the police, wouldn't they want their own "cut" / "share" of the money? and if you go down the path of violence i.e agberos and thugs, then that I believe would make things even worse for you - as the husband would claim victimization for a debt he knows nothing about - and you could be done for assault / grievous bodily harm / criminal damage e.t.c.

You obviously are upset about the whole issue but sometimes in life, the unexpected happens and we just have to deal with it. Hindsight is indeed a good thing as you surely would not have lent the lady your money if you had know things would turn out the way they did. You might just have to prepare yourself for the real possibility that you might never get your money back and move on henceforth.