Hey Tessybaby,

I know this is a very long letter and its meant exclusively for you because I know u’ll read every letter in it.

My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a TESSYBABY. I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which had been troubling my soul.

The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100% on the ritcher scale, my temperature is rising, the windvane of my mind is pointing north, south and east at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you. I went out to sea in my dream, and saw you; surrounded by H₂O and in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants.

As you can see, I’m in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given; we should seek and we shall find; and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 14th day of the eleventh month in the year of our Lord, two thousand and seven, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servants can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter in my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room, the conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realize the gargantuan nature of my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, snail without shell, xmas goat without horns; in fact I’d become an orphan. In fact I’ll kill myself. What is life if I can’t wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday.

Please TESSYBABY, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that the geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not form your body, ammonia, urea and iodine – you are too beautiful for that. What I can see in your body is milk and honey. At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. A journey of a thousand years begins with one step. What God has put together – let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God’s time is the best.

But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out water. I know that you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the questionnaire below and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.

I remain
Your beloved, faithful, loyal,
One and only admirer

Questionnaire

1. What is your name
2. Age
3. Do you have boyfriend (if yes, state why? If no, please explain?)
4. Do you love me (if no, state why?)
5. What is your hobby?
6. Which is your favorite food?
7. Mother’s occupation
8. Father’s occupation
9. Are you from a polygamous home?
10. Is your father rich and handsome?
11. In your mummy also a paragon of beauty like you?
12. What do your parents want their father-in-law to be in life?

NB: For writing this particular letter, I had no fewer than 10 advisers

Hey My Tessybaby,

I know this is a very long letter and its meant exclusively for you because I know u’ll read every letter in it.

My dearest, sweetest, fondest, fantastic, extra-ordinary, paragon of beauty a.k.a TESSYBABY. I hope this letter meets you in a fabulous state of metabolism, if so doxology. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of global and universal importance, which had been troubling my soul.

The matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my adrenaline is 100% on the ritcher scale, my temperature is rising, the windvane of my mind is pointing north, south and east at the same time; the mirror in my eyes has only your divine image. Indeed when I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, and I dream about you. I went out to sea in my dream, and saw you; surrounded by H2O and in your majesty rose from the abdomen of the sea like Yemoja, the avatar of beauty. Oh, Lord be with us! We are thy servants.

As you can see, I’m in a serious dilemma. And I want you to take my matter seriously. At this junction, what our Lord said on this matter is germane. He says we should ask, and we shall be given; we should seek and we shall find; and that we should knock, and it will be opened unto us. I am this 14th day of the eleventh month in the year of our Lord, two thousand and seven, asking, seeking and knocking at your door. My prayer is that thou should open so that thy servants can enter. I want to wake up in the morning and see only your face.

I want you to be the sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment, the butter on my bread, the grey matter in my system, the oxygen in my head, the planet of my universe, the wall clock of my room, the conveyor belt of my soul. I pray that you realize the gargantuan nature of my predicament. If you refuse, my life will be like tea without sugar, snail without shell, xmas goat without horns; in fact I’d become an orphan. In fact I’ll kill myself. What is life if I can’t wake up in the morning and behold your face? You model of pulchritude, patiently created by God on a Sunday morning before he went on a deserved holiday.

Please TESSYBABY, let me be your Romeo. Make me the Adam to your Eve. Shakespeare said it all: if music be the food of love, play on. I want to emphasize, universally and responsibly, that you are love itself. You are the metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, gerund, conjunction and the adverb of love.

At this juncture, let me also say that the geography of your body is a permanent alleluia. Not form your body, ammonia, urea and iodine – you are too beautiful for that. What I can see in your body is milk and honey. At this juncture, brevity is the soul of wit. A stitch in time saves nine. Procrastination is the thief of time. An opportunity once lost can never be regained. Make hay while the sun shines. All that glitters is not gold. A journey of a thousand years begins with one step. What God has put together – let no man put asunder. To be a man is not an easy task even if God’s time is the best.

But time waits for no one. A man without love is like a fish out water. I know that you are a sagacious girl. If you like the veracity of what I am saying, please fill the questionnaire below and let me have it pronto. The mark at the bottom of this page is a kiss from me to you.

I remain
Your beloved, faithful, loyal,
One and only admirer
BIGGERBOY

Guy no come pour sand for my garri oh!!

See me see trouble oh

this one na another thing entirely oh, this one wey bigger boy dey copy ur love letter come paste am for the same thread.

See me oh my brother TT,

Im wan thief the girl wey i wan propose to. No be small thing we dey see for this country. Im get mind to copy my letter paste am for my girlfriend-to-be to see.

Hope say she read my own first

@Ituen
just got ur lettre for the questionaire u will give me some time
<sub>goes to the room to look for a dictionary

no, i think an encyclopedia would be of more help to understand this leter</sub>

Take ur time baby. I advise you to even hire teachers to help u

Lmao.
@biggerboy
nice move

Tessy just stay in the room. Ituen advised you to consult a teacher and i'm really good at home tutoring so i'd meet you up in the room you hear?

Ituen's letter is not signed.Mine is.

So mine is the authentic one.Ituen only stole my idea and got to the system first.

now am confused
please where is Clemcy? let her help me out
who is the real man?
I mean REAL MAN
Clemcy conduct a test on these two

_{u know nah, blablabla test}

I am the real man and i promise to take care of you!!

heyy Tess non of them is real!,

their bla bla bla is dead! and u know how much u love it

check elsewhere!

biggerboy !!!
turn around twister

@ clemcy
where else do i look? I know migines is out of bounds
_{hope u are not saying i should try someone like S - - N}

[b]@Tessybaby,complete the questionaire as soon as posible.There are a million eligible damsels out there before your suitors capture another! _{especially the last question}.

REAL MAN! REAL MAN ABI??

why not look m* side
because frnakly and josephly speaking, the places where ya eyes dey,na retired sojas full there

REAL MAN! REAL MAN ABI??

why not look m* side
because frankly and josephly speaking, the places where ya eyes dey,na retired sojas full there

You all can see that Ituen has kept quiet meaning that he has left my Tessy from.I willappreciate if all other intruders keep off!!!

@BIGGERBOY

i saw ITUEN at the motor park this morning boarding a bus to OKIJA SHRINE.You're in big trouble

shut up

:-x :-x

We will never pardon you if once again you have to write tessybaby

so long a letter.

showbobo:

@BIGGERBOY

i saw ITUEN at the motor park this morning boarding a bus to OKIJA SHRINE.You're in big trouble

Was that a long face he was wearing?[/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

yes of course

showbobo:

@BIGGERBOY

i saw ITUEN at the motor park this morning boarding a bus to OKIJA SHRINE.You're in big trouble

iTUEN was going to the shrine to see the blessing of the priests for my mariage to Tessybaby.He has also agreed to drive the couple (Biggerboy and Tessybaby) around on our wedding day.

lol

I regret to announce to you that ITUEN got castrated accidentally last night.That is why he is not keen about getting married to tessy again.

@Biggerboy

U get mind steal my girl from me. _{decides to text his jujumen in calabar, ijebu and adamawa}

i promise u'll hear from me soon enough.

@TessyBaby
pls dont be confused. Make up ur mind and leave friends like Clem out of this cos she doesnt know her gender.

@Iwayjay
If u step near her door to teach her. . . . .

@Others
Pls tell Biggerboy to stop snatching my date. This was supposed to be a proposal and he is turning this into something else

_{*With anger* Decides to go to india this night to see the Maharaji}

fifth world war

theres always safety when ur under wise counsel, off, opposite

All of you are day dreaming!

*frantically searches for my reading glasses*