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Do You Have A Career Mentor? by bolaoni(m): 11:38pm On Nov 20, 2007
This post is as a result of an article posted on my blog:

Why Mentors Matter To Your Career

Do you have anybody mentoring you in your career? Tell us what it has been like having
a career mentor and if you don't have one, why is this so?

My own Mentor is no one other than Dr. Sunny Obazu-Ojeagbase of Complete Football.
He has really being so helpful to me in my chosen path in life.

Let's hear what you have to say wink
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by olanajim(m): 2:08pm On Nov 21, 2007
Mentoring is something that had not been well received here because of the peculiar nature of our country. We now finds people suspicious of other people. So much that the first time you approach someone as a mentor, the first thing that comes to his mind is negative perception of your intention. Indeed, some people equate mentoring as opportunity to curry favour which is wrong. Others had been known to use the priviledge to beg for assistance instead of wisdom. Personally, I recognize alot of challenges in mentoring. You would be rejected several times before you are accepted. Unfortunately, many youths can't handle rejection!

My mentors are many and I can't mention them here for personal reasons. And for the fact that they may not be favourably disposed to the publicity.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by bolaoni(m): 7:11pm On Nov 21, 2007
You are correct ola, but those seeking to be mentored must be seen as doing something already.

No one will want to take on someone that will be a liability to him/her.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by olanajim(m): 7:42pm On Nov 21, 2007
No necessarily doing something. If you have a potential, a good mentor can help you discover yourself. You don't need to know your mentor in advance. But you have to show him why he should take you serious.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 7:22am On Nov 22, 2007
Yes! He works in the OR!--Orthopedics! (operating room) cool


Mentoring tips---How to stay in a job like most white people for over 30 years without getting frustrated! Things Africans in general have to learn in foreign countries.

Goals for the next 10 years! That's what we are working on right now since this is my 5th year over here.

Looks like a trivial topic but I found out to my surprise that "Africans" are guilty of "occupational restlessness" and I do not plan for that to be my portion.  My goal is to retire from one place and "STAY EMPLOYED" like "him" without getting fired over and over again like most of my Nigerian brothers and sisters over here! grin

Other areas of mentorship are:

Maintaining professionalism in a culturally diverse environment.
Conflict resolution.
Voice management for "loud Nigerians."
Anger management in the work place.
Becoming a role model for new employees.
Personal and professional growth in the work place.

and so on and so forth!

A lot to work on when you are in a foreign country and it is recommended that everyone should have a mentor.

I love my mentor! cool
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by olanajim(m): 10:41am On Nov 22, 2007
Alimondjoy, you seem to know alot about mentoring. I want to learn from you!

You see, by the fact that not many people are showing interest in this thread indicate how little they care about mentoring and that is their cup of "Milo".

I had this Mentor in USA, Springfield to be specific. We have never meet but we maintain a very interesting communication. She taught me alot that I couldn't learn from anyone that I have been having daily conversation with. Yet, it took almost a year before I could succeed in getting her consent! Many factors are responsible. Prominent among them is the fact that Nigeria has negative international reputation. With Yahoo boys on the prowl, getting an international mentor is tough. Unfortunately, very few are interested in mentoring you within the country.

Mentoring depends on what you want from your mentor.

I have professional mentor, spiritual mentors, Social mentor, and adopted Parents! Adopted, because the play virtually every role my parents ought to play. I have up to five of them and I have never regretted it. I learn different things from them.

I have my reasons. Coming fron an uneducated home as the first child, and with a peculiar nature, it occur to me that I need as many knowledge as I could acquire to be someone. I see myself as illiterate and I am still learning. I want to learn from everyone willing to make his wisdom available!
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by bolaoni(m): 11:14am On Nov 22, 2007
Wow, ola, you are a great man in the making and will like to be a friend.

Can you visit any of my site and drop your contact details, like YIM and phone.

I won't want you to drop them here, just post a comment on any article and I will get it
no one will see it but me wink

We can rub minds you know.

almondjoy, you too if you don't mind. Seems we all have a lot in common

wink
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by olanajim(m): 12:43pm On Nov 22, 2007
Greatness is not a special food for special people. Everybody is great in his own right. As for me, I am still learning. My email and YIM is on my profile. You are free to chat me. But let keep this going.

What are the challenges expected in mentoring? How do you select your mentors? And what next do yo do after getting his consent?
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by Nobody: 5:03pm On Nov 22, 2007
I have a career Mentor, she actually made me realise that this is what i was born to do. She is one of the most inteliigent woman in the world, small, intelligent, extremely beautifull, strict, principled and has been a mother to me. She is the first to rebuke me when i bluff, and also the first to encourage me. She polishes my visions and works hard to make them a reality.
To think that i never knew this woman, we come from differnet geographical locations and different religions, yet the first day i saw her she made me change my line from Banking and got me a job and has since been my mentor and friend.
I admire her because she is from a very wealthy family, married to a very wealthy and influencial man and as a Northerner she could be comfortable sitting and doing nothing but she is very passionate and works towards safe motherhood and child survival strategies. She is one of the front runners in the fight against malaria and maternal mortality in Northern Nigeria. Yet she is so simple and a wondeful mother to her kids. You can go to her house anytime of the day and definately get something to eat. Her first question to me each time she sees me is " have u eaten?", if i say no she calls her driver and sends for food from her house.
Forget that she looks small and innocent, she is a slave driver she will make you work anmd work but she will never cheat you or take glory for your work.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 8:35pm On Nov 22, 2007
I love this topic because I realized that if you wanted to succeed in anything you are doing in this world--you definitely need a "mentor" to show you the ropes. Especially in my first 2 years out of Nigeria due to "CULTURE SHOCK."   In one the workshop programmes/programs I did as an undregrad here, I got involved in working with other "lost" African brothers and sisters who felt over-whelmed with work and school schedules--Since I was good at that because I had a hard time balancing school and work schedules and my counsellor decided to send me over there--I assisted in setting up one of "Time Management projects/modules" and it made a big difference in our lives and we were less stressed out.  Most of the African students in my situation were able to graduate with that program in place and it is still in operation till today.  It was really interesting.

@bolaoni
grin  Did you come to socialize or did you come to discuss "mentoring"?  I am a very lazy Yimmer-because I am going to be very busy till the end of the year so I can only spend time on the computer while I am at work to keep awake at night. So I will spare you the heartache. cheesy I cannot check e-mails but once a week--not to talk of YIM. 

On a serious note, thanks for this topic for it happens to be something I am very interested in.

@aisha2---that's nice. Glad we can find a common ground on Nairaland. cheesy  Always sounded like you had a sense of direction around you and I am happy you have a mentor and it is working for you.  Keep it up! I hope you plan to be a mentor too--Because mentoring also means you have to also give back!

@Olanajim
Sure!  Like I said--I have always have mentors since I left Nigeria--My school demanded all foreign students had one and I never stopped having one till now.

Mentoring is more of a professional thing than a social thing to me.  It is also goal oriented and the process goes through constant revision to see if we need to change things around.

Like I said my present long term goal with my mentor is how to stay in a job for the next 25 years without getting frustrated and quitting.

Short term goals are:
----Maintainin professionalism in the work place
----Improving customers' satisfaction in my establishment since we are going for a special award in the next 5 years and we have to make sure our customers' and employees' satisfaction surveys are not detrimental to that. 

There are several others and I enjoy seeing those things accomplished. Keeps me involved in my place of work so I look forward to going back with all excitement.

Mentoring like bolaoni pointed out in the link above involves a 2-way interaction process.  You set those goals with your mentor and make sure you accomplish them.  What do you want from this your "mentor"?

olanajim:


Alimondjoy, you seem to know alot about mentoring. I want to learn from you!

You see, by the fact that not many[b] people are showing interest in this thread indicate how little they care about mentoring and that is their cup of "Milo".[/b]

I had this Mentor in USA, Springfield to be specific. We have never meet but we maintain a very interesting communication. She taught me alot that I couldn't learn from anyone that I have been having daily conversation with. Yet, it took almost a year before I could succeed in getting her consent! Many factors are responsible. Prominent among them is the fact that Nigeria has negative international reputation. With Yahoo boys on the prowl, getting an international mentor is tough. Unfortunately, very few are interested in mentoring you within the country.

Mentoring depends on what you want from your mentor.

I[b] have professional mentor, spiritual mentors, Social mentor, and adopted Parents![/b] Adopted, because the play virtually every role my parents ought to play. I have up to five of them and I have never regretted it. I learn different things from them.

I have my reasons. Coming fron an uneducated home as the first child, and with a peculiar nature, it occur to me that I need as many knowledge as I could acquire to be someone. I see myself as [b]illiterate and I am still learning. I want to learn from everyone willing to make his wisdom available![/b]

You are not doing badly for yourself. cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin  How can you see yourself as illiterate with all your meaninful contributions on Nairaland? I hope you become a mentor for someone else too in the future----you will make a fine one! Yeah, it is difficult to find an "international" mentor across continents.  Mentoring has to be personalized to the highest degree to make the process successful.  Please tell me what did you want from this mentor of yours or do you mean "sponsorship"? undecided  How does mentorship work if you both live in different countries? Or was she in the same country as yourself?  I only have professional mentors, since that is the area of my life that needs it.  My goal is to be the best personally and professionally in my job enviroment so it becomes a healthier place for all.  What are your goals?

Just curious!
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 8:49pm On Nov 22, 2007
Wow this is a very good thread, I've read very intelligent posts from you all.

Permit me to digress a little. I believe this thread has little traffic because of the Nigerian factor. We are not brought up to have mentors. Even in big industries nothing is said about mentoring. The first place I saw a program for this was in a church I attended in PH where you had proteges.

Mentoring offers many advantages but most Nigerians work for the money, Christians may have spiritual mentors (Churches encourage this) but in career development you hardly hear about the topic. Youths and job seekers are financially motivated and do things for the pay-check not necessarily what they enjoy or desire growth in. Career development is influenced by the firm you work for or again as a result of financial motivation.

Mentoring is not seen as important here. Sad.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 9:01pm On Nov 22, 2007
This is an example of what I mean . . .

almondjoy:

. . . I got involved in working with other "lost" African brothers and sisters who felt over-whelmed with work and school schedules--Since I was good at that because I had a hard time balancing school and work schedules and my counsellor decided to send me over there--I assisted in setting up one of "Time Management projects/modules". . .

. . . Sure! Like I said--I have always have mentors since I left Nigeria--My school demanded all foreign students had one and I never stopped having one till now. . .

Here these things can not occur, we don't view these as important, we need a total overhaul in our mentality.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 9:02pm On Nov 22, 2007
somze:

Wow this is a very good thread, I've read very intelligent posts from you all.

Permit me to digress a little. I believe this thread has little traffic because of the Nigerian factor. We are not brought up to have mentors. Even in big industries nothing is said about mentoring. The first place I saw a program for this was in a church I attended in PH where you had proteges.

Mentoring offers many advantages but most Nigerians work for the money, Christians may have spiritual mentors (Churches encourage this) but in career development you hardly hear about the topic. Youths and job seekers are financially motivated and do things for the pay-check not necessarily what they enjoy or desire to growth in. Career development most times is required by the firm you work for or again as a result of financial motivation.

Mentoring is not seen as important here. Sad.

Well Somze, you are right and that is why we have a long way to go in Africa generally. Actually, I am sure most people are interested in mentoring, it is just that "other topics" on Nairaland are more "pressing" at the moment---Like goat threads!. cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin  Come to think of the fact that culturally, like you put it, it is not pertinent. That is just too bad! I have seen the difference it has made in my life and I say we have a long way to go. Our Educational system sucks for one. How can you go to school without a mentor? shocked I did not know what that meant till I left Nigeria. We are just not used to "looking out for eachother"----Na so so fight and tribalism! grin


The less traffic there is the better so serious-minded people can stay focused and share meaningful ideas instead of wasting time "fighting" on Nairaland. grin  

Any form of mentoring is good.  Be it spiritual or professional.  The most important thing is to set goals and make sure those goals are accomplished not just as a "socializing" tool.  Like I said--there is this Nigerian "ortho surgeon" at my job who has been there for over 35 years---in a predominantly white establishment.  During my orientation as a new employee, he spoke as a guest speaker and encouraged all of us who were Nigerians to get in touch with him.  He told us things that brouht tears to our eyes.  And wanted us to succeed in that establishment without getting fired or frustrated. If for that alone, I can never leave that job! smiley

This man is something else!  During the year, he periodically checks up on us and makes sure we are still "sticking with the programme".  We call him at anytime if we have questions or problems and he always has a solution. It became like a cult.  He suggested all kinds of programmes to make us committed to this establishment.  Some have left us unfortunately, but more are coming in.  More Nigerians and Africans are learning to be better professionals and I like that!
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 9:20pm On Nov 22, 2007
The guy is great. What a great mentor you have on your side!

Here like you noted, our education system is already extinct.

Having that kind of mentor help African workers would be a big boost. Just the motivation you need.

The good thing about a mentor - which he does - is to check up on proteges to see how they're getting along the goal, to connect, encourage and give them the fuel for the zeal and drive needed. I cant tell you how many of my goals lay in the gutter. They're much worse out there too.

Imagine you saying you want to stay in a job till you retire, That is amazing. Here the mentality is to grab fame, power and money at all costs, hence our corrupt politicians, ethnic battles and niger delta militancy.

A lot of young kids need mentors, a lot workers need them too. We need to get that in the head of as much people as we can. But it brings us to this point - who can be a mentor?
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 9:21pm On Nov 22, 2007
somze:

This is an example of what I mean . . .

Here these things can not occur, we don't view these as important, we need a total overhaul in our mentality.

This is why I have respect for white people. Not all are nice of course but the few I have met--make up for all the deficiencies of the rest--because of the positive impacts in the personal and professional aspects of my life.  Talk about caring and patience. They care about how you affect them and even if you have to benefit from the process too, so be it.  They do not want you to drag them down and in the process lift you up!

I say thank God for my school.  A white woman introduced me to this mentoring thing when she discovered I had no idea what I was doing as a JJC from Nigeria.  She took it upon herself to ask me why I did not seem interested in school--since I was always sleeping in her class! cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin

I told her I have to work and she directed me to my counsellor and the rest is history.  This counsellor made available how to look for school loans at low interest rates and also hooked me up with a finacial planner on how to manage my finances--I had never even seen a check book. Sent me to several self-help workshops,so I could cut down on working all those hours.  Look, this is not my mother--I do not know this woman for Adam.  But she had seen it too many times with African students and we were dragging the school down with our "drop out rates" and she took it personal.  She may not have like us, but her goal was that we were going to graduate from that school once we got in there. I guess to promote the "racial" xteristics of their school who knows? undecided  But she set the goals and made sure I followed through with them.  

If it is Nigeria--everyone will be looking for who to sleep with and accomplish nothing in the end! cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin
The only kind of mentoring we sabi be that! grin

Never saw her again but guess what--she left me with a "mentoring" legacy.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 9:33pm On Nov 22, 2007
Another example of the ever increasing amount of difference in attitude.

Like you said, here we look for who to sleep with or who to sort (bribe). Lecturers don't care, the school system does not either. In my 4 years of school I dont even know if i ever heard of a counselor or financial adviser.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 9:40pm On Nov 22, 2007
somze:

The guy is great. What a great mentor you have on your side!

Here like you noted, our education system is already extinct.

Having that kind of mentor help[b] African workers would be a big boost.[/b] Just the motivation you need.

The good thing about a mentor - which he does - is to check up on proteges to see how they're getting along the goal, to connect, encourage and give them the fuel for the zeal and drive needed. I[b] can't tell you how many of my goals lay in the gutter.[/b] They're much worse out there too.

Imagine you saying you want to stay in a job till you retire, That is amazing. Here the mentality is to grab fame, power and money at all costs, hence our corrupt politicians, ethnic battles and niger delta militancy.

A lot of young kids need mentors, a lot workers need them too. We need to get that in the head of as much people as we can. But it brings us to this point - who can be a mentor?


You say you goals are in the gutter? cheesy  Abeg no make me laff! cheesy grin cheesy grin grin

I keep saying it--who no go no know!  It took me getting out of Nigeria to understand a lot things--and Most Nigerians who have never left Nigeria to live at least for 1 year as a foreign student outside Nigeria---will remain in abysmal ignorance. I am not being insultive--I am just expressing my frankest notion of concern.  I listen to most type here and I just shake my head.  Most 2 year olds have better vocabulary than 90% of Nairalanders here.  The ones that are eloquent have got some other form of education somewhere.  

What does that tell you?  We have not even started.  See what "university" graduates are tying on Nairaland? shocked---- cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin

Even as children--personality workshops are set up in foreign countries to mold and shape the future.  Don't get me wrong, foreign societies have problematic children too--only because those children have made a conscious choice to be that way---In Africa--the reason is lack of opportunities as a result of selfishness and greed.  We do not invest in the most important things to make our future bright.  We would rather invest in mundane things and make noise from morning till night! I say I am sorry.  Mentoring being one of them.

You are confusing mentoring with sponsorship.  They are 2 different things!  Foreign countries utilize mentors to move forward and African countries hunt for sponsors to aid their dependency as a result of lack of the basic foundations of the educational process we have.  We are not marketable since we have shaky foundations.  You will have a hard time getting a sponsor since you never had a mentor to show you the ropes of how to succeed.  Everything in African countries generally is a "game of chance" while developed foreign countries--Plan for the future and that is what mentoring is all about.

Who can be a mentor?

You have to be a "mentee" befor you can be a "mentor".  It is a process like anyother  and must work you way up the chain of command.  Having understood the process as a "pee on", you would do a better job as a "teacher"!  Not before.  You cannot skip the mentoring process or you fail to make the right impacts!
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 9:56pm On Nov 22, 2007
Dont get me wrong . . . by goals I meant time-constrained goals like completing certain tasks, projects, career developments, learning a new software language et al. Due to bad time management, I always seem to have had other things to do, some of them were overlooked (or have been overlooked).

Looking at your first period in school and what the counseling helped you to achieve, i wondered what I'd have completed with such a program. So its mentorship not sponsorship I meant wink

Back to who can be a mentor -
How do we find them here? For folks like me or other people out there in need of such. Like I said its only in Church I've experienced such. What of in Career? I go to libraries to read books by Bill Gates, Obasanjo wrote his book and I did not even care because I know . . . lipsrsealed (at last sef it was a political thing, his faithfuls came buying 50k copies but who go read am?)

Bill Clinton writes a book and it sells a million copies. My point is that these folks have something close to a proven record, a life that others think they can learn from.

How do we find such people or even the ordinary ones that can mentor and take proteges here. That can be like your Orthopedic friend, that will check up on the proteges and all that?
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 10:05pm On Nov 22, 2007
somze:

Another example of the ever increasing amount of difference in attitude.

Like you said, here we look for who to sleep with or who to sort (bribe). Lecturers don't care, the school system does not either. In my 4 years of school I don't even know if i ever heard of a counselor or financial adviser.

Look, it is all good!  You can never hear of such a thing in Nigeria.  Because we do not care. We never sit down to think how we can improve our lives and throw everything to "religion and fate" hoping and praying that things will change without moving an inch to implement ways to accomplish anything positive.  It was when I left Nigeria that I actually realized that despite my first degree in Nigeria, I was actually ignorant.  Educated but ignorant.  A lettered idiot! cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin grin  I could read and write alright but meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!  Wahala dey!  Talk about--useless education.  These people here showed me the real thing. Even if you are a plumber--your life has meaning just by virtue of the fact that you graduated high school. The Educational foundation is so solid that it leave you set for life--unless you choose to be useless like some of the children or adults over here.  In most African countries--PHD holders will leave you wondering for the rest of your life what the hell is going on!

It is not about making "First Class" in some crazy course.  You have to be able to apply it to your life and improve your well being in all aspects of your life--That is education.   That is why there is a word like "optimism".  I may not share it with most--but I will not hold anyone back from being hopeful that things can change.  Infact I am not even thinking along those lines anymore.

The mentoring process is an educational process and since the educational system in Nigeria leaves much to be desired--mentoring has no bearing professionally in most occupations in Nigeria.  Actually, it starts when you are in school.  If you did not learn that in school--all you have are spritual mentors--how to pray and hope for a better future  Or "sponsors" to find you "placement" in the work force.  I have no need for those.

My long term goals is how to retire from my job without getting fired or frustrated. That is what my mentor and I are working on and so far so good! Others are helping fellow employees fit in in the work place so our costs are cut down with retraining and retraining new staff members.  I love professional goals since I reside in a foreign country and they are not interested in my personality or spirituality, so I do not have need for personal/spiritual goals.  That is what typical African countries stress on because they are light years behind and need a lot of catching up to do.

Mentorship and sponsorship are 2 different things!
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 10:15pm On Nov 22, 2007
You hit the nail on the head concerning our education system, I can tell you that even as an IT grad I did not see the value the nice looking cgpa added to my life or career. It was just a meaningless paper.

The intelligent ones pay lots of money to do certification courses and learn new languages, while Ibkaye in the UK gets Oracle courses in pre-college (6th class or foundation school or so).

almondjoy:

The mentoring process is an educational process and since the educational system in Nigeria leaves much to be desired--mentoring has no bearing professionally in most occupation in Nigeria.
Another intelligent quote . . . bullseye
Now one can begin to understand why issues such as this seem foreign in these parts.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 10:29pm On Nov 22, 2007
somze:

You hit the nail on the head concerning our education system, I can tell you that even as an IT grad I did not see the value the nice looking cgpa added to my life or career. It was just a meaningless paper.

The intelligent ones pay lots of money to do certification courses and learn new languages, while Ibkaye in the UK gets Oracle courses in pre-college (6th class or foundation school or so).
Another intelligent quote . . . bullseye
Now one can begin to understand why issues such as this seem foreign in these parts.

That was the main reason I got out of there.  When I finished in Nigeria from UNIBEN I was only 22--I looked at myself in the mirror from head to toe and could not even see myself and I knew it was time to get out since all I could do was teach with a degree in some bullshit course!  If you waste your time in "school" and do not use it in your life--what kind of life are you living? undecided

And people are still going to school to invest in these "meaningless paper" courses!  Come and see a bunch of them driving taxis here and delivering newspapers at night after reading some IT, MBA and PHD in Animal Husbandry!

And then you come out looking for a mentor?  To do what with you? undecided  ALL universities I know of here assign you a counsellor to "shape" your life so you do not fall by the wayside.  That is how mentoring starts--Early recognition. Someone in my school recognized that I was falling by the wayside as foreigner--and decided to point me in the right direction.  Who will do that in Nigeria? And you are looking for a mentor in this same Nigeria.  You cannot get that over there sorry!

You will have to improvise or you are stuck! Game of chance--as usual. I can not live my life by "playing a game of chance". It has to be planned--and that is what mentors help you do--plan your lives!
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by doyin13(m): 10:46pm On Nov 22, 2007
Almondjoy. You can mentor me anyday wink cheesy grin
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 10:49pm On Nov 22, 2007
doyin13:

Almondjoy. You can mentor me anyday wink cheesy grin

Doyin13 how now? grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin Long time!

Happy turkey day. You know we will always be "tight"! wink

You good?

I mentor in different things as you can see! cheesy
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by doyin13(m): 10:55pm On Nov 22, 2007
Happy Turkey Day? shocked shocked You dey laff me?

Shit packing no dey give holiday o sad
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 11:22pm On Nov 22, 2007
doyin13:

Happy Turkey Day? shocked shocked You dey laff me?

Shit packing no dey give holiday o sad

How a go laff you?

Infact I am on my way to work too.  I can't pass up all that money while Oyinbo people dey eat ham and turkey for house leave the whole work place for me? cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin cheesy grin  Na turkey a go chop? grin

I go chop my own next week--when dem come back from wherever dem go chop ham and turkey!!!

My dear, see you later now!  Take care! kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss

Stay safe okay?
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by bolaoni(m): 12:36am On Nov 23, 2007
All I can say is WOW!

almondjoy, you are wonderful! You really understand what this is all about.

Thanks for all the great posts you have made above. I won't thank Somze for
raising so many important issues about our system because he is of the Roman
Empire, he has a blue blood in his system. grin grin grin

I never knew you visit here man, just thought you are all about Sport. cheesy

I think our eyes don open small so maybe we should start with our own environment.
Let's look for wayward kids to teach some important life lessons. There is so much
benefit in showing a small kid the way. The word, I believe in you, has helped me so
much in life. While growing up so many took interest in me and always told me that.

I am always grateful whenever I remember those that have pointed me to the
right path. If not for them, I am sure I won't be raising this issue at this point in
time.

Almond, na crime to socialize with a would-be mentor? You know no say U don become
my mentor already? grin grin grin

Let's keep this discussion open. Whether others contribute or not is their cup of
MILILO grin
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by olanajim(m): 4:55am On Nov 23, 2007
Doyin13,
I have searched for you but, I am happy I found you here. So do you have mentor? Whatever for? Please let share. And what happened to Kobe? Banned or Reformed?

Bolaoni,
since you are in Nigeria, you may link up with me. I don't post number on public forum my email is open. Any unwanted spammer can easily be blocked. So get it on my profile.

Somze,
No country is brought up to have mentors. It is a choice and products of their determination to be counted among the great. If Nigerian Leaders are content to glorify mediocrity, then, nature can't be blamed. We must be prepare to make a difference if we are not satisfy with the system. Lucky for you, you have the ingredients needed to make it. All you need to do is to work it out. Nobody was brought up to do anything he does not know. . . We all learn it at a stage in our life.

People working for money rather than passion are making the matter worse. A survey of nairaland jobseekers shows that nearly 80% of them would look for bank job first before anything! Are Nigerian banks productive? What special job does a Banker Cashier render that make them earn such a large salary? Yet, a reporter walking length and breath of the world for news would earn peanut. Teachers, and lecturers has to embark on strike before they get their little raise.

What has this to do with mentoring? Alot! A well informed graduate with a good mentor would know that he need not join a company for money but for the satisfaction he craves. He would know how to work in a "little" company and still become rich. Is it a concidence that Bankers are not the richest people in Nigeria in spite of their paychecks? Only their CEOs, all of whom actually have investment porfolio, (more likely financed by other people's money) features on Rich list. At least for a while.

We need to open our eyes and be prepare to make a difference.

Mentoring is one way of achieving that. You will have access to knowledge you are not borm with.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by olanajim(m): 5:31am On Nov 23, 2007
Alimondjoy,

I quite understand difference between mentoring and sponsorship. There is another element you didn't mentioned. Favouritism! That is Nigerian version of mentoring. When a young jobless graduate approaches a wealthy man for mentoring, his primary instinct is to get job through his mentor's "connection" if not through him. Before you know it, he would submit his cv and then start making material demands. This practice had been with us for ages. My study show that it is a corrupted version of mentoring. Another version is "godfatherism". This is also very common. In fact, young men would rather get close to a "bigman" not to learn anything but to earn his trust "so that when the 'big break' they are looking for appear", they would have the blessing of their godfather!

It is this kind of intellectual corruption that had transformed Nigeria into a crawling giant. A Nation where wealth flow like water, yet poverty ravages the land. Corruption in Nigeria is not limited to finance. We have spiritual corruption. (you can see how many modern day "jesus and muhamed" are sprouting from every local govt daily yet, our streets and hospitals show how successful these miraclemen are), we also have mental corruption as manifested in our reasonings and lack of national ideology. Intellectual corruption had been mentioned already. And today, our universities ranked among the best in the world and our professors are winning Nobel prizes in Science.

Regardless of what is happening, we must never do nothing just because the situation is so bad.

Yes, I am going to mentor others just as I keep learning from my mentors. In fact I have been doing just that to those below me. Unfortunately, I am mentoring frustrated people! For instance, a young boy who had been writing JAMB in the last 5 years. All he wanted is jamb and no more! I am happy though as it give you more hindsight about the problems.

On what I seek from my mentor, I would reply later as the thread progresses.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by somze(f): 6:23am On Nov 23, 2007
Bolaoni
You rarely come to sports anymore, but again most old members don't . . . too much has changed  wink
It took a number of things to make me look at things from a different angle, even at this point some times I go back and forward,

I will explain a little below when I reply to Ola

Olanijim
I do not know where you get your wisdom from,
olanajim:

Somze,
No country is brought up to have mentors. It is a choice and products of their determination to be counted among the great. If Nigerian Leaders are content to glorify mediocrity, then, nature can't be blamed. We must be prepare to make a difference if we are not satisfy with the system. . .

We need to open our eyes and be prepare to make a difference.

Mentoring is one way of achieving that. You will have access to knowledge you are not born with.

The meaning of being "great" or "successful" is another issue. Here we are brought up to view the wealthy as great and successful hence observations you made. I get confused sometimes and am at odd with myself. When all your friends go for the bank jobs and yet you reject offers because it does not fit with your career goal or path, friends think you are insane.

Under a lot of pressure, you break sometimes . . . especially without a mentor. We have a certain privilege in the Family and I asked my Dad to do something about it, in his reply I was reminded of things that truly mattered. The reply contained something like this - I am not in search for that much fame, power or wealth.

That was so un-Nigerian, I felt he was an alien because of the sum of Money involved and seeing others go the same privileges. But the truth is that greatness or success is not measured by those things even if sometimes those things are a product of greatness. Very few Nigerian wealthy men have their sources of wealth clean. Its sad.

Another point you made was favoritism, this is indeed very true.

This is another paragraph that caught my attention
olanajim:

It is this kind of intellectual corruption that had transformed Nigeria into a crawling giant. A Nation where wealth flow like water, yet poverty ravages the land. Corruption in Nigeria is not limited to finance. We have spiritual corruption. (you can see how many modern day "jesus and muhamed" are sprouting from every local govt daily yet, our streets and hospitals show how successful these miraclemen are), we also have mental corruption as manifested in our reasonings and lack of national ideology.  Intellectual corruption had been mentioned already. And today, our universities ranked among the best in the world and[b] our professors are winning Nobel prizes in Science[/b].
There are some Christians (actually most) I'd say that to and they'll ask for my head  wink Why don't they leave the comfort of their buildings (churches) and go do the miracles where it is needed - on the streets, in homes. With all the TV coverage, you'd believe we are free from diseases.

Our Professors are in universities abroad and they're doing so well. We are blessed with a lot of Knowlegde yet like you say we are crawling.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by almondjoy(f): 7:34am On Nov 23, 2007
Great contributions guys.

@bolaoni

Nothing wrong with socializing with mentors tongue--The only thing is that one has to be careful so as not to "rock the boat" You know how Man-Woman wahala be now. grin cheesy grin cheesy grin  Before we leave our mentoring begin dey "mentorrrrrrrrr"! grin  Most of my mentors have been females actually for very obvious reasons. wink  This baba of an orthopedic doctor is a professional mentor only and is in his late 50's.  Because he is a Nigerian, it makes things a little easier. I will not dream of acquiring a male "mentor" in his 20's 30's or 40's. Just to rule out distractions. Remember we have to have goals and the outcome of the mentoring process is all that counts.

On a serious note sha--nothing wrong as long as mentor--mentee relationship progresses. As I am looking at all your smilie faces--I know I will not have any problems being your mentor.  Just let me know what you need help with. wink

BTW, how does this Dr. S.O.O. help you as a mentor?

@Somze

Why do you have a problem with completing assigned tasks and time management?  Is it because of the royal blood syndrome bolaoni was talking about? The only reason I can think of is that you are not held accountable by anyone for your behviours or the concept of "African Time" is all too powerful in your life that you have been condiitoned to do things by the whenever you feel like it. Or is it lack of motivation? undecided

@olanajim

If we discuss Nigerians problems here--we will not get to the bottom of it so let us just say---All in good time--things will work out themselves. We can only work with what we have given the resources available. Like you said, there are different types of mentors and an individual needs to pick the ones that can make the best impacts in peoples' lives.

Someone taking JAMB for the 5th time? shocked Hmmm!  I think he should have stopped at the 3rd time.  This brings us back to the discussion we had in that thread about the guy with poor concentration who could not study. You are playing your role as a mentor and that is good.  I would have done things differently.  By the third time--I would have re-direct him in a different area like a "trade school" or something.  But Nigeria is a different society and oportunities are limited.  As result, the only thing one can do to get that "degree" is to keep attempting JAMB even where it is obvious ths person is not academically inclined.

In other advanced countries--this young man would have been able to get a mentor to redirect him to be useful to himself without wasting all those years re-taking JAMB. Like I said you can only work with what you have.  And you are doing the best you possilbly can.  I wish you the best with your "Menteee". Keep up the good work.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by Nobody: 8:19am On Nov 23, 2007
I am working on a new project now which includes Mentoring to University students. Its a small scale project now but with more funding we will scale up our activities. In time we will need young Professionals who enjoy what they do to Volunteer as Mentors.
I always say to people My Generation is special, we are not going to be like any other Generation we will be a force to be reckoned with.
Re: Do You Have A Career Mentor? by bolaoni(m): 8:31am On Nov 23, 2007
almondjoy,

What are you thinking about? Me I say mentor-mentee, nothing more nothing else grin grin grin

Let me answer for somze, he is always on the Sports and Music forum battling his heart out.
Just visit those sections and see what i mean. cheesy Somze, you a royal person? Almond, you can't understand what the blue blood means, I'm sure somze understands what I mean wink

One thing almond has to understand is that most people want to attend school at all cost not minding their academic inclination. I have met people I know will NEVER pass JAMB and if you try to tell them, they will want to feel you are writing them off. People believe in let's keep trying until we get there even if they are moving in a wrong direction.

I was listening to a Bob Proctor message yesterday and you know what he said: "A lot of people are moving in the wrong direction and they keep doing so. These are the same people that will be in a car and realise that they are not heading in the right direction and make a U-turn no matter what it will cost them." My people I don see so much for this naija.

How many people know about goals? How many people know anything about having a dream or vision? How many people are willing to invest time on their ideas? How many people are willing to stake their all on something worthwhile? All we have are people complaining about things not easy and they are unwilling to do anything about it.

It is not easy changing the mindset of people. You know we have been brought up in a certain way and having to change means having to believe in a new set of things. So difficult but we must keep trying. If we are living according to our ideals, it will be easy to attract protegees to us. I have young people I watch over, I'm also a young man but with a different mindset. All I do is share my story with them and let them see the wrong direction they are heading and there is always a connection there.

We will have to stop focusing on what is bad because we are going to see a lot. I hear people complain about this and that and at the end of the day, my question is always, "what are you going to do about this?" That is where most people balk.

We can make a difference one person at a time wink

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