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The Negative Effects Of Polygamy - Islam for Muslims - Nairaland

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The Riddles Of Polygamy! / How Do You Cope With Polygamy? / Muslim Women & Polygamy: Would You Tolerate A 2nd Wife? (1) (2) (3) (4)

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The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by Cheers01: 3:01am On Jun 24, 2012
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Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by Cheers01: 9:54pm On Jun 26, 2012
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by Cheers01: 10:40pm On Jun 26, 2012
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 3:04am On Jul 05, 2012
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by maclatunji: 12:47pm On Jul 05, 2012
What do we have here? A campaign of calumny against what God has made permissible? It is better we evened things out for Polygamy is a very useful tool for social cohesion and balance if practiced according to the laws of God. Now, don't take my word for it, read this instead.

High-flying Muslim career women willing to 'share husbands' because of a lack of suitable men

By Daily Mail Reporter

Muslim career women in Britain are choosing to become involved in polygamous relationships because of a lack of suitable men.

Some of them even choosing to become second or third wives to married men, according to the Islamic Sharia Council.

The charity, based in Britain, gives legal guidance to Muslims and has said it is receiving a high number of queries from women struggling to find suitable partners.

Many of the women have also said they would prefer to hold down high-profile jobs rather than look after their husbands.

Taking more than one wife is illegal in the UK but men marry again in a nikah religious ceremony, allowing them to take up to four wives.

Mizan Raja, 35, who organises Muslim marriages around the world, told the Sunday Times, that he has had hundreds of calls in the past six months from women asking about becoming second wives.

Mr Raja said: 'The demand for these relationships is led by the women, not the men. In one generation women have become educated, entrepreneurial and professional.

'The Muslim community is struggling with this, how do you cope with women who wear trousers?'

He said that many Muslim men just wanted a 'homemaker' and to come home to a clean house and a plate of food on the table.

He added the men didn't want the 'headache' of being in a relationship with a professional woman.

It is thought the Muslim women are also actively seeking out married men because they do not want the hassle of having to cook for their husbands after a hard day at work and are quite happy to have part-time relationships.

One woman who spoke to the Sunday Times, and asked not to be named, had an affair with a married man after divorcing her first husband.

When he offered to leave his wife she preferred to become his second wife because she did not want him 'under her shoes 24/7'.

It is thought about 12,000 brides are brought to the UK by Muslim men.

The decline in available husbands has become such a problem it is now referred to as the 'Muslim spinster crisis'.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2113366/Muslim-women-share-husbands-lack-suitable-men.html#ixzz1zkQKmFOH

What? You mean highly educated and successful Muslim women are actually going out of their way to become second and third wives even when it is "illegal" in the United Kingdom to do so? Wow! Geez! Creepers! Wowzers! We just might have something here.

grin tongue tongue tongue cheesy
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 8:12pm On Jul 05, 2012
maclatunji: What do we have here? A campaign of calumny against what God has made permissible? It is better we evened things out for Polygamy is a very useful tool for social cohesion and balance if practiced according to the laws of God. Now, don't take my word for it, read this instead.

High-flying Muslim career women willing to 'share husbands' because of a lack of suitable men

By Daily Mail Reporter

Muslim career women in Britain are choosing to become involved in polygamous relationships because of a lack of suitable men.

Some of them even choosing to become second or third wives to married men, according to the Islamic Sharia Council.

The charity, based in Britain, gives legal guidance to Muslims and has said it is receiving a high number of queries from women struggling to find suitable partners.


'The Muslim community is struggling with this, how do you cope with women who wear trousers?'

He said that many Muslim men just wanted a 'homemaker' and to come home to a clean house and a plate of food on the table.

He added the men didn't want the 'headache' of being in a relationship with a professional woman.

It is thought the Muslim women are also actively seeking out married men because they do not want the hassle of having to cook for their husbands after a hard day at work and are quite happy to have part-time relationships.

One woman who spoke to the Sunday Times, and asked not to be named, had an affair with a married man after divorcing her first husband.

When he offered to leave his wife she preferred to become his second wife because she did not want him 'under her shoes 24/7'.

It is thought about 12,000 brides are brought to the UK by Muslim men.

The decline in available husbands has become such a problem it is now referred to as the 'Muslim spinster crisis'.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2113366/Muslim-women-share-husbands-lack-suitable-men.html#ixzz1zkQKmFOH

What? You mean highly educated and successful Muslim women are actually going out of their way to become second and third wives even when it is "illegal" in the United Kingdom to do so? Wow! Geez! Creepers! Wowzers! We just might have something here.

grin tongue tongue tongue cheesy






lololololololololololol. You believe the daily mail? Everyone in the UK knows that it is trash. Tabloid trash. grin grin grin grin

1) Polygamy is illegal in the UK
2 There was no study no hard statistics backing up the claims in the article. Just one random muslim matchmaker making claims
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 8:12pm On Jul 05, 2012
maclatunji: What do we have here? A campaign of calumny against what God has made permissible? It is better we evened things out for Polygamy is a very useful tool for social cohesion and balance if practiced according to the laws of God. Now, don't take my word for it, read this instead.

High-flying Muslim career women willing to 'share husbands' because of a lack of suitable men

By Daily Mail Reporter

Muslim career women in Britain are choosing to become involved in polygamous relationships because of a lack of suitable men.

Some of them even choosing to become second or third wives to married men, according to the Islamic Sharia Council.

The charity, based in Britain, gives legal guidance to Muslims and has said it is receiving a high number of queries from women struggling to find suitable partners.


'The Muslim community is struggling with this, how do you cope with women who wear trousers?'

He said that many Muslim men just wanted a 'homemaker' and to come home to a clean house and a plate of food on the table.

He added the men didn't want the 'headache' of being in a relationship with a professional woman.

It is thought the Muslim women are also actively seeking out married men because they do not want the hassle of having to cook for their husbands after a hard day at work and are quite happy to have part-time relationships.

One woman who spoke to the Sunday Times, and asked not to be named, had an affair with a married man after divorcing her first husband.

When he offered to leave his wife she preferred to become his second wife because she did not want him 'under her shoes 24/7'.

It is thought about 12,000 brides are brought to the UK by Muslim men.

The decline in available husbands has become such a problem it is now referred to as the 'Muslim spinster crisis'.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2113366/Muslim-women-share-husbands-lack-suitable-men.html#ixzz1zkQKmFOH

What? You mean highly educated and successful Muslim women are actually going out of their way to become second and third wives even when it is "illegal" in the United Kingdom to do so? Wow! Geez! Creepers! Wowzers! We just might have something here.

grin tongue tongue tongue cheesy






lololololololololololol. You believe the daily mail? Everyone in the UK knows that it is trash. Tabloid trash. grin grin grin grin

1) Polygamy is illegal in the UK
2 There was no study no hard statistics backing up the claims in the article. Just one random muslim matchmaker making claims
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by maclatunji: 10:38pm On Jul 05, 2012
^LOL, so you can dispute sources? Now, what does that say about you and this thread? What field research have you carried out to back your claims?
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by LagosShia: 11:09pm On Jul 05, 2012
Mac and his son are fighting.

@OP

dont u think such threads would give atheists and their religion a bad image?
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 11:12pm On Jul 05, 2012
maclatunji: ^LOL, so you can dispute sources? Now, what does that say about you and this thread? What field research have you carried out to back your claims?

Name any claim you doubt. Feel free and I will show evidence. There are already proper articles and journals showing the problems of polygamy. Most of these things are ven common sense, I didnt think that it was necessary to put evidence that polygamous wives fight over inheritance/resources or that polygamous children are at a disadvantage in parenting because of the shred nature.


Feel free to state any of my claims you doubt. I will pwn you as usual. Why dont you refute the claims? No, because you have noting, your best reply was to sidetrack with a trash tabloid making baseless claims.



Maryam Namazie, an ex-muslim was right about arguing with some particular muslims. No direct answer;


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKv9vbJvGkg
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by maclatunji: 11:44pm On Jul 05, 2012
The greatest challenge with interacting with you is that you are so delusional. The article I posted indicates that there are more than enough women who are willing to be second wives, call the Mail any name you want but the fact remains that it is a newspaper and the news is consistent with reality that you myopically fail to see. Polygamy works for some people and that is irrefutable. You are not the first to say the things you are saying or do the things you are doing neither will you be the last. It will not change Islam from being Islam or Muslims from being Muslims.

Who has the time to teach someone who doesn't know much but feels the opposite? Good Night child.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 12:22am On Jul 06, 2012
maclatunji: The greatest challenge with interacting with you is that you are so delusional. The article I posted indicates that there are more than enough women who are willing to be second wives, call the Mail any name you want but the fact remains that it is a newspaper and the news is consistent with reality that you myopically fail to see. Polygamy works for some people and that is irrefutable. You are not the first to say the things you are saying or do the things you are doing neither will you be the last. It will not change Islam from being Islam or Muslims from being Muslims.

Who has the time to teach someone who doesn't know much but feels the opposite? Good Night child.


grin grin grin grin grin

1) Would you then accept any anti-islamic news from the daily mail then? Lest you forget, it is a Western newspaper.

2) Polygamy works (is legal) only in backwards countries. It is perfect for dependent women and *##### men

3) Islam is changing. Western muslims accept gays and marry non-muslims.



By the way, you havent refuted any of my claims. Can you name anyone that is false? No, you can't because you know that I a saying the truth.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 2:44am On Jul 06, 2012
LagosShia: Mac and his son are fighting.

@OP

dont u think such threads would give atheists and their religion a bad image?


To answer your question, atheism is not a religion and secondly threads like this do not give atheists a bad name.


Why is it that you did not refute any of my points against polygamy?
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by maclatunji: 6:47am On Jul 06, 2012
MacDaddy01:


grin grin grin grin grin

1) Would you then accept any anti-islamic news from the daily mail then? Lest you forget, it is a Western newspaper.

2) Polygamy works (is legal) only in backwards countries. It is perfect for dependent women and *##### men

3) Islam is changing. Western muslims accept gays and marry non-muslims.



By the way, you havent refuted any of my claims. Can you name anyone that is false? No, you can't because you know that I a saying the truth.





Your claims are not worth much to me. Hence, refuting them is extremely low on my list of priorities. You fail to realize that the UK government will turn a blind eye to polygamy as long as your marriages are not held in Church or court especially for Muslims. They cannot afford an extended conflict with the significant Muslim minority.

Marriage is complex and is no different with polygamy. Visit the family section for tales of woe from monogomous marriages. There's no competition between monogamy /polygamy. They are both valid and have advantages and disadvantages. Get used to it.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 11:29am On Jul 06, 2012
maclatunji:

Your claims are not worth much to me. Hence, refuting them is extremely low on my list of priorities. You fail to realize that the UK government will turn a blind eye to polygamy as long as your marriages are not held in Church or court especially for Muslims. They cannot afford an extended conflict with the significant Muslim minority.

Marriage is complex and is no different with polygamy. Visit the family section for tales of woe from monogomous marriages. There's no competition between monogamy /polygamy. They are both valid and have advantages and disadvantages. Get used to it.


Polygamy is illegal in the UK. The UK doesnt turn a blind eye to polygamy. Polygamous marriages are void and your second or third wife is not entitled to any state benefits that would be given to a recognized wife in the UK

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9029807/Ministers-ban-extra-benefits-for-multiple-wives.html



Marriage is complex, polygamy just makes it more complex.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by vedaxcool(m): 11:50am On Jul 06, 2012
Cheers01: Islam permits polygamy. However, there are some negative sides to polygamy;


1) Jealousy among wives;
This is one of the most common problems of polygamy. It is a psychological problem on the part of the wife. Jealousy is natural as there would be either a favourite wife or least favorite wife. This jealousy can also be depressing when a husband spends a significant amount of time with another wife and refuses to change it when confronted by the neglected wife. Such neglected wives can feel trapped in a polygamous marriage, with divorce as the only option out.

2) Competition for resources among wives
Maintaining a polygamous home is not easy. One has to feed many wives and many children. Imagine if all wives want their children to get trained at the best schools overseas. It would create jealousy if some children of some wives went to good schools while some did not. Also, time is a resource. Spending romantic time with the husband becomes a competition as well. The husband has limited time and love can not be measured in units of time.

In Nigeria, this competition is compounded with inheritance law. If there is a will, the man can divide his property as he sees it. But there have been cases in which fake wills have appeared and 2 wives claim to each have their own wills from the dead husband. However, if there is no will, the man's property goes to the first son in the Nigerian culture. There are 4 common problematic scenarios when there is no will
-The first son unfairly takes most of the property, leaving the other wives and their children next to nothing
-The first son is killed so that the property goes to the son of the other wife
-The first wife who should have a higher priority in inheritance has no son but only girls. The younger wife gets everything
-The dead husband has many wives but no son. Epic inheritance battle starts sad confusion!


3) Inferiority complex and depression among wives;
What goes through the mind of a polygamous wife who sees a young couple taking a family holiday with their children? How does it feel to know that she will never have the luxury of spending unlimited time with her husband. She will share it with another woman. She is not more than half a man.

The inferiority complex is another psychological problem caused by polygamy. Women become inferior to men as a man can have more than one wife but a woman can not have more than one husband. The inferiority complex can also come when one wife is treated better than the other. This second inferiority complex can easily lead to depression if the husband does nothing to alleviate the unequal treatment.


4) Effect on children:

Polygamy is known to have negative effects on children. For instance, the rivalry among wives can cause learning of division and discrimination at a young age. Also, if there are many children, the husband might not be able to fairly spread his love around the children. Furthermore, reports state that children of neglected polygamous wives develop low self-esteem.


5) Complicating the laws of the society.

How do you fairly tax a man with 4 wives? A family of four wives means that there are 5 people who could easily transfer assets between each other to engage in tax evasion/avoidance.

How do you share a house into 5 parts if a man divorces all his four wives while they all own one big house?

How is it going to work with Europe and America when it comes to immigration? An American muslim goes to a Sharia country and has 3 wives but only one wife can get citizenship. The EU and American laws of one wife is to ensure that people dont get married to many wives and give them easy citizenship. The 4 wives limit can be bypassed with divorcing and remarrying every fourth wife.






How objective is your critique? where is your survey? how many woman have complained to you? ehh! oga logic? are you making your allegations based on evidence or just based on some dreams you imagined?
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 12:25pm On Jul 06, 2012
vedaxcool:

How objective is your critique? where is your survey? how many woman have complained to you? ehh! oga logic? are you making your allegations based on evidence or just based on some dreams you imagined?

Do you need evidence to know that water is wet? Do you need evidence as a Nigerian, to know that polygamous wives fight among each other for inheriances, resources and time with husbands? Do you really need evidence to know that children in polygamous homes can suffer from neglect? Can you state that you dont know MKO Abiola and the problems of his polygamous family after his death?

However, here are articles and journals backing up my claims;


http://scholar.google.co.uk/scholar?q=effects+of+polygamy+on+children&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart&sa=X&ei=wsj2T8qdE4j18QPYkPGwBw&ved=0CFMQgQMwAA

http://www.wluml.org/node/6513


http://www.austlii.edu.au/au/journals/MurUEJL/2005/2.html
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by vedaxcool(m): 12:41pm On Jul 06, 2012
^^^

I am asking for factual statistics to know each of your claims are supported by number, surveys etc, not just dreams or articles written by people that do not want it. Picking one or two persons to support your point is engaging in grave fallacy what if supporters point to 3 persons whose marriage (polygamous) is smooth sailing?
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 12:46pm On Jul 06, 2012
vedaxcool: ^^^

I am asking for factual statistics to know each of your claims are supported by number, surveys etc, not just dreams or articles written by people that do not want it. Picking one or two persons to support your point is engaging in grave fallacy what if supporters point to 3 persons whose marriage (polygamous) is smooth sailing?


Scientific journals contain surveys, observations and facts. The first link shows different scientific journals on polygamy. Read their conclusions/summaries on the effects of polygamy and you will weep for polygamy.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by maclatunji: 12:56pm On Jul 06, 2012
MacDaddy01:


Polygamy is illegal in the UK. The UK doesnt turn a blind eye to polygamy. Polygamous marriages are void and your second or third wife is not entitled to any state benefits that would be given to a recognized wife in the UK

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9029807/Ministers-ban-extra-benefits-for-multiple-wives.html



Marriage is complex, polygamy just makes it more complex.

What makes you think second or more wives want state benefits? Ok, you and me may prefer monogamy but the people that want polygamy are allowed except of course in your brain.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 1:07pm On Jul 06, 2012
maclatunji:

What makes you think second or more wives want state benefits? Ok, you and me may prefer monogamy but the people that want polygamy are allowed except of course in your brain.


Married couples with children can claim tax reductions. A 2nd or 3rd polygamous wife will be taxed at a higher rate because she is not eligible for such deductions.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by maclatunji: 1:17pm On Jul 06, 2012
MacDaddy01:


Married couples with children can claim tax reductions. A 2nd or 3rd polygamous wife will be taxed at a higher rate because she is not eligible for such deductions.

Her husband will take care of her or she will take care of herself.tongue
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by MacDaddy01: 2:35pm On Jul 06, 2012
maclatunji:

Her husband will take care of her or she will take care of herself.tongue


In my humble opinion, you are a very intelligent person but you are quite disingenuous. You know the truth about polygamy but are not willing to say it.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by halalMACburger: 3:04am On Jul 11, 2012
maclatunji:

Her husband will take care of her or she will take care of herself.tongue


Is that all you can really say? Very impractical.
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by Nobody: 1:39pm On Jul 18, 2012
And how is this any of your concern anyway
Re: The Negative Effects Of Polygamy by Cheers01: 2:42pm On Jul 18, 2012
Discordia: And how is this any of your concern anyway


Wow. is that all you can say? You cant even address the issue? Is polygamy not allowed in Nigeria?


Jeez. Some people.

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