As a pious muslim woman who has worked hard with your husband  to build a very prosperous family, how will you feel if he brings another woman home as a second wife?.

Truthfully, do you feel jealous that he is in your matrimonial bedroom with another woman on top of the bed you bought while cold is killing you in the guest bedroom?. OR do you feel very happy that your husband is marrying a 2nd wife and will gleefully accept her?

If you have your way, will you stop him from taking a second wife even though he is doing it according to the will of Allah or are you scared of violating Allah's will?.

*smh* n what's with the unnecessary description in your second paragraph?

Orisa je n pe meji obinrin o si ( you really don't have to understand that) but if it happens with good intentions, I'd rada accept it in good fate n make the home a peaceful one instead of making it a living hell for everybody.

bhusayor:

*smh* n what's with the unnecessary description in your second paragraph?

Orisa je n pe meji obinrin o si ( you really don't have to understand that) but if it happens with good intentions, I'd rada accept it in good fate n make the home a peaceful one instead of making it a living hell for everybody.

very good reply@ bhusayor

And I'll rather let him bring another woman into the marriage than be scared of HIV and other STIs.

Who is deceiving who
1. A loyal and fafithfull husband with 4 wives or
2. An unfaithfull husband with a wife and many mistress and concumbine.

l know most women here wouldnt want it but since its permissible, they ve got no choice. well me i have the potential of marrying just one muslim woman.

deols:

very good reply@ bhusayor

And I'll rather let him bring another woman into the marriage than be scared of HIV and other STIs.

There is no rather here because it broods bad behavior for him. Your statement above is a testimony of helplessness and a decision to choose the 2nd best option. I put it to you that you will prefer him having you as the only wife and will not like any competition from another woman. Scared of HIV and other STD's?. You think all the muslim polygamists have enough harem that will prevent them from sleeping around?. It's not your fault because Islam thinks that the sin of adultery and fornication can be controlled with multiple wives.

olawalebab:

Who is deceiving who
1. A loyal and fafithfull husband with 4 wives or
2. An unfaithfull husband with a wife and many mistress and concumbine.

Why compare only that two?. How about a faithful husband with one wife compared to a randy husband with many wives and concubines like Abiola?.Was Abiola not a loyal muslim with 4 wives but wasn't he sleeping around?. What of Sani Abacha and his escapades with women?. I don't believe some muslims are still delusional enough to believe that polygamy will stop a man from being randy.

Why compare only that two?. How about a faithful husband with one wife compared to a randy husband with many wives and concubines like Abiola?.Was Abiola not a loyal muslim with 4 wives but wasn't he sleeping around?. What of Sani Abacha and his escapades with women?. I don't believe some muslims are still delusional enough to believe that polygamy will stop a man from being randy,

the list of prominent muslims is endless.

k1 the ultimate(wasiu) musician, more than 2 wives

pasuma wonder musician more than 2 wives

late chief dR sikiru ayinde barrister 16 wives

Alh kolinton ayinla more than 2 wives

Alh Atiku abubarka more than 2 wives

Smh @ d ignorance on this thread,
The attempt to
discredit Islam n polygamy by u two is quite childish

Du u want endless lists of xtian polygamists (even though your religion doesn't support it) and adulterers too.
Polygamy is meant to b a tool to prevent adultery, the fact that it has been abused by some people doesn't change its purpose.

The right thing is not always easy; the Muslim man that wants to marry a second wife should use his head and the woman in accepting too should be patient without forgoing her rights under such an arrangement. I once created a thread asking women to choose between polygamy and their husbands having adulterous relationships. A lot of sensible ones mostly Christians preferred Polygamy so go and relax your itchy fingers OP.

Polygamy is meant to b a tool to prevent adultery, the fact that it has been abused by some people doesn't change its purpose.

who or what gave u such notion as to polygamy meaning to be a tool against adultery?

do u realise that polygamists are still adulterous? So find something better to say to justify ur point

The right thing is not always easy; the Muslim man that wants to marry a second wife should use his head and the woman in accepting too should be patient without forgoing her rights under such an arrangement. I once created a thread asking women to choose between polygamy and their husbands having adulterous relationships. A lot of sensible ones mostly Christians preferred Polygamy so go and relax your itchy fingers OP.

meaning some pple might be motivated by erroneous instinct other than the right thing?

@toba, I'm sure you read the latter part of what you quoted, don't be in a haste to sound too intelligent.

of course i did and i ve asked u a question on same premise.

l want to know how u came about the notion that polygamy is/was supposedly a preventive option for adultery

As you men claim that 'men are polygamous in nature,' its quite rare to see a 100% faithful husband especially with this generation where many men are so weak and alredy have the mindset to cheat on their spouses like its an inevitable thing. I'd prefer it being a 'known' n approved thing rather than make it a secret and long-term betrayal.

So many men(including the so-called religious ones) out there claiming to be monogamists wv strings of mistresses n illegitimate children who end up turning the family into something else prolly aft d man's death (or even while he's still alive)cos the legal wife n children have been in d dark all d while. We have another category of those hu neglect their families because of a mistress and spend their hard-earned money on these mistresses while the family suffers back home, some run three different families wvout dem being aware of one another, n so on

Islam, being a religion of peace n one that abhors adultery has supported polygamy WITH a condition. A well-practised polygamy shouldn't create enemity, but rada, union n growth of the muslim community.

As human beings that we are, imperfect n sometyms selfish, we tend to do things to fulfill our personal\lustful desires, rather than for the sake of Allah.

I'm not from a polygamous home and I don't intend to venture into polygamous setting, BUT things don't always workout as planned as man only proposes, God disposes, reason for the reply I gave immediately after the post.

meaning some pple might be motivated by erroneous instinct other than the right thing?

@toba. I mean that it might not be easy for a woman to accept that her husband wants another woman as 2nd wife but it is the right thing to do just as a man may not be keen on polygamy but it becomes the right thing for him to do if his feelings for a second woman will not go away and he has the means to take care of 2 wives or for a man with high 5ex drive to have up to 4 if he can be fair and meet their needs. When practised properly especially in a proper Islamic State Polygamy will limit adultery greatly because the needs of the majority will be met.

Note: not every Muslim man  will marry more than 1 wife.

bhusayor:

As you men claim that 'men are polygamous in nature,' its quite rare to see a 100% faithful husband especially with this generation where many men are so weak and alredy have the mindset to cheat on their spouses like its an inevitable thing. I'd prefer it being a 'known' n approved thing rather than make it a secret and long-term betrayal.

So many men(including the so-called religious ones) out there claiming to be monogamists wv strings of mistresses n illegitimate children who end up turning the family into something else prolly aft d man's death (or even while he's still alive)cos the legal wife n children have been in d dark all d while. We have another category of those hu neglect their families because of a mistress and spend their hard-earned money on these mistresses while the family suffers back home, some run three different families wvout dem being aware of one another, n so on

Islam, being a religion of peace n one that abhors adultery has supported polygamy WITH  a condition. A well-practised polygamy shouldn't create enemity, but rada, union n growth of the muslim community.

As human beings that we are, imperfect n sometyms selfish, we tend to do things to fulfill our personal\lustful desires, rather than for the sake of Allah.

I'm not from a polygamous home and I don't intend to venture into polygamous setting, BUT things don't always workout as planned as man only proposes, God disposes, reason for the reply I gave immediately after the post.

So Islam decided to reward men for their bad behavior by making laws that will accommodate their randiness?. Is that what you are saying?. So Islam has no other solution but to decree polygamy so as to shield men from screwing everything in skirt?. How About violence against women and children?. Men are more likely to commit violence against women and children than any other being. So, did Islam also give them a leeway by making laws that can accommodate that vice?.

Also, what is a well practiced polygamy?. Does it exist?.

maclatunji:

meaning some pple might be motivated by erroneous instinct other than the right thing?

@toba. I mean that it might not be easy for a woman to accept that her husband wants another woman as 2nd wife but it is the right thing to do just as a man may not be keen on polygamy but it becomes the right thing for him to do if his feelings for a second woman will not go away and he has the means to take care of 2 wives or for a man with high 5ex drive to have up to 4 if he can be fair and meet their needs. When practised properly especially in a proper Islamic State Polygamy will limit adultery greatly because the needs of the majority will be met.

Note: not every Muslim man  will marry more than 1 wife.

So what if his present wife has feelings for a 2nd man who can screw her very well?. Will it be a right thing for her to do if she decides to marry a 2nd husband and bring him home since she has a big business that can cater for both men and satisfy her high 5ex drive?.

aloy/emeka:

So Islam decided to reward men for their bad behavior by making laws that will accommodate their randiness?. Is that what you are saying?. So Islam has no other solution but to decree polygamy so as to shield men from screwing everything in skirt?. How About violence against women and children?. Men are more likely to commit violence against women and children than any other being. So, did Islam also give them a leeway by making laws that can accommodate that vice?.

Also, what is a well practiced polygamy?. Does it exist?.

Your arguments are anticipated by moi so I am not surprised they are coming-up. It is not a matter of rewarding bad behaviour it is just that God our creator has given us guidelines we should live by if we want to reach the highest levels of development here on earth. He knows that Men are driven largely by 5ex and has made accommodation for that. Like someone said: "Men are like light bulbs when it comes to 5ex we can be turned on and off easily. Women are like electric irons- it takes time for them to heat-up but when they do it takes longer for them to cool-down."

You already know that Men and Women have differences in anatomy and physiology. Hence, when it comes to issues of intimacy it would be foolish to ask for equality between men and women. What should obtain is equity. Equity is a greater virtue than equality because right from the beginning we are not created equal (take it or leave it!).

There are so many other arguments I could bring. Amongst non-Muslims who believe that they are leaving in "full freedom" it is the perception that a man who beds many women is "THE MAN" and a woman who has multiple men as partners is a "Sl ut". Why is this so? It is simple, it is still due to the way God created us differently, the only thing there is that people in their ignorance do not want to admit it and the so-called free women will start complaining of the hypocrisy of the "free men." The truth is that they are all hypocrites and leaving their lives based on lies!

As for men being violent, there are rules against that. So, no problems there! It is in the nature of men to be in general terms stronger than women. Islamic law does not permit a man to beat a woman- any true Muslim would abhor such violence!

aloy/emeka:

So what if his present wife has feelings for a 2nd man who can screw her very well?. Will it be a right thing for her to do if she decides to marry a 2nd husband and bring him home since she has a big business that can cater for both men and satisfy her high 5ex drive?.

You are arguing for the sake of arguing. I know some cultures practice polyandry (1 woman having several husbands) but you know it is against the rules of nature, common sense and dignity of human beings. So if she gets pregnant which "husband" will claim the child? In whose house will she live? What are the effects on her health?

Get things clear- Islam brings equity if you want to be claiming equality you will be fooling yourself and creating confusion for the whole of humanity. The man is the head, the woman is supporter and comforter. If you try to change roles you upset the delicate balance with dire consequences for humanity. You know deep down within you that I am right; stop resisting by prolonging the debate!

one thing that must be known is that we all have reason for doing what we do, the Lesbian and Homosexual also have their's

But not matter how much argument we put up it still cannot compromise what is acceptable.

Simple truth: God created Adam and Eve not Eves. all those who have engaged in polygammy had their sad woes to tell.

women have feelings just like men. there feeling should be respected they are not lower human .

And from this tread you make marriage sound like it is all about SEX .

THINKS DEEP AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT TWO CAN PLAY THE GAME. IF OTHERS CAN WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE.

I REST MY CASE

Polygamy is nothing 

The question my brother should be asking our muslim women is , will you share your husband with 72 other wives in heaven  

If women in ISLAM think they have it bad on planet earth, imagine what paradise will be like, where they will be nothing but sex slaves.

I say sick and pathetic.

ISLAM is sex mad !!!

Sorry for not sounding politically correct 

Polygamy is not only peculiar to Islam. Some cultures in this country permits unguided polygamy but that of Islam is guided and restricted one. The fact that one who is only a muslim by name abuse the privilege of polygamy does not give room for its discredibility. I agree with bhusayor that polygamy is meant to promote chastity among men rather than messing up. That is not compesation or whatever. It is just to maintain the sanctity of the society. If you see practising muslims who really understand the religion practise polygamy, i think anyone with a pre-concieved and/or biased notion about polygamy in islam will have a rethink. You need to understand the nitty gritty of polygamy as laid down by Islam for you to open your mouth and talk about it. Polygamy as practised in islam is different from the way it is practised in other setting. so dont use what obtains in your culture as a yardstick for ours.

i pity them women.

serious mental adjsutment will have to be done to bring in sevral opposition on thesame field

A man that is loose is loose let him seek help poligammy is never the solution

unless of cousre we wipe out all the women in the world.

the religion should be a standard for moral leaving not an excuse to be immoral

wetin bad, bad

@Maclatunji i concur,
Please nairalanders don't let us be sentimental about this issue, the truth we can see all around us. At least Africa trandition allow polygamy in the first place and as maclatunji has express, it is not a must but also not a sin to mary more than one wife in Islam.
Am not even looking at adultery point of view as as other posters has express, but it is very obvious that there are lot of Ladies nowadays that are not marry,go to the banking sectors, customer care services for telecomms, lots of multinational company, etc, you see a lots of these over age girls/ladies not yet  marry.
Let us take sentiments away from this issue and analyze things critical from our experience, reality and observations around us to know if Islam have a point or not. I have learn to blindly criticise but to watch closely if there is any truth init.

if we claim to be like God them our desposition should be like God,
even in the animal kingdom there is high level of decorum, they stick to one partner for life till death do them part (pigeon). how much more human. God is a jealous God, women are jealous they don't want competition.

the basis of argument in support of this matter is never acceptable.

argument yin ko ta, ko dun.

It is people like Frosbel and co. that lie to themselves claiming holy pass that end-up falling into temptation.  @Manmacho we don't shy away from talking about 5ex within marriage in Islam. Go to the romance section of nairaland and tell me what majority of single Christians are talking about - Is it not how they get 5ex, are going to get it or want to get it? Come back and tell me who is crazy about 5ex.

Keep lying to yourselves- hypocrites!

@ op,I didnt have enough time to answer you properly yesterday. Thank God for today, here's my better reply. I know so well that your aim is only to bring up sentiments and never to learn. But thank you for your many posts cos they have the effect of helping us(Muslims) educate one another and search more for some unclear ones to us.

As a pious muslim woman who has worked hard with your husband  to build a very prosperous family, how will you feel if he brings another woman home as a second wife?.

who says the home can not continue to be prosperous with another woman. The reason for most of the problems women have with polygamy is the i no go gree method they start with. I know well enough that no matter the not 'greeing', it happens in most cases. why not have it in mind that the other woman is coming to add her own goodness and together you may all be fine.

Truthfully, do you feel jealous that he is in your matrimonial bedroom with another woman on top of the bed you bought while cold is killing you in the guest bedroom?. OR do you feel very happy that your husband is marrying a 2nd wife and will gleefully accept her?

obviously, u av no knowledge of wat u'r talkn about. why would the first wife be sent to the guest room. when another woman comes in, her space is created and not like she takes the first wife's room. Of course i would accept her for the one reason that Islam accepts it.

If you have your way, will you stop him from taking a second wife even though he is doing it according to the will of Allah or are you scared of violating Allah's will?.

Monogamy is the rule! polygamy is an exception in Islam. I know many people get that wrong.

am not a muslim woman but am jealous and dont like to share.

besides i dont think the quaran(sorry if i missd d spellin) promotes polygamy.didnt it say that if the man can love the women equally, only then can he marry more than one wife?but we kno its not possible to love two pple the same way.

aloy/emeka:

There is no rather here because it broods bad behavior for him. Your statement above is a testimony of helplessness and a decision to choose the 2nd best option. I put it to you that you will prefer him having you as the only wife and will not like any competition from another woman. Scared of HIV and other STD's?. You think all the muslim polygamists have enough harem that will prevent them from sleeping around?. It's not your fault because Islam thinks that the sin of adultery and fornication can be controlled with multiple wives.

you asked a question and you are giving the answer. You could just av made d topic 'wat aloy/emeka thinks of polygamy'. what bad behaviour are u talking about. asking if I would accept polygamy leaves out the option of a monogamy. So the other option(d only 1 I cld compare it with) is definitely of the adulterer claiming monogamy.

aloy/emeka:

Why compare only that two?.  How about a faithful husband with one wife compared to a randy husband with many wives and concubines like Abiola?.Was Abiola not a loyal muslim with 4 wives but wasn't he sleeping around?. What of Sani Abacha and his escapades with women?. I don't believe some muslims are still delusional enough to believe that polygamy will stop a man from being randy.

ehn ehn? nd when did Abiola become the model for Muslims. How about the many polygamous christians even though christianity doesnt allw that? hypocrisy at play! I just wonder how you all can not argue on the basis of what is presented rather than bringing illogical comparisons. How about the many Muslims who have four wives with the whole family happy and doing well

I have these two muslim chicks who are married as second and third wives. They confess to me how they dont like it and feel neglected but they cant complain. So I step in to male them feel good every now and again!!

Okija_juju:

I have these two muslim chicks who are married as second and third wives. They confess to me how they dont like it and feel neglected but they cant complain. So I step in to male them feel good every now and again!!

I hope their husband find you ut soon. disgusting behavior