Comment On My One Act Play. - Literature - Nairaland
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Plz Naira Fam, Comment On My Story...its Fiction And The First I've Written. / Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man / 'Why You Act The Way You Do' By Tim Lahaye (Temperaments) (2) (3) (4)
| Comment On My One Act Play. by mufex(m): 5:10pm On Jul 12, 2012 |
ACT ONE The stage is arranged to suit a modern day sitting room. There are couches, a center table, chairs and a fan attached to the ceiling of the stage where the play is being staged. Mr. Jonathan, a tall, grey haired, heavy-set, with gruff voice, is sitting on a couch. He is a successful businessman and his countenances shows that he is disturbed. His Long time friend, Mr. Felix enters the stage. He is an obese, bald, bright-looking man. He is the senator representing a senatorial district in________ part of Nigeria. He drags a “Ghana-must-go bag” along as he walks to Mr. Jonathan. MR. FELIX: (Grinning) Good day, Mr. Jonathan. MR. JONATHAN: Good day, Senator….what brings you to my home? MR. FELIX: (Tugging the heavy “Ghana-must-go bag”) I brought the quarterly revenue allocation for my senatorial zone….TWO HUNDRED MILLION NAIRA! MR. JONATHAN: Wow, that’s a lot of money! MR. FELIX: Indeed….indeed (Beat) Please, I want you to transfer them into that foreign account— MR. JONATHAN: The Swiss account? MR. FELIX: Yes…and our 70/30 ratio still holds. (Beat) Please conduct the transfer smoothly, because those EFCC are lately sniffing around politicians these days….I will call you this evening. (Mr. Felix smiles at Mr. Jonathan. He turns and tries to walk out of the stage) MR. JONATHAN: (Calls calmly) Mr. Felix. (Mr. Felix spins around to listen to him)I can’t— MR. FELIX: (Drawing on a plastic smile on his face) You can’t what? MR. JONATHAN: I can’t transfer the money for you…..my conscience tortures me and weighs me down— MR. FELIX: (Surprised) How? MR. JONATHAN: The state of the nation keeps deteriorating, haven’t you noticed? MR. FELIX: (Makes a hand gesture) Deteriorating, how? MR. JONATHAN: Like going bad every day…..and you and I have been looting public funds constantly— MR. FELIX: I don’t understand. MR. JONATHAN: I can’t pay in this money for you into your Swiss account. MR. FELIX: Please tell me you are joking, are you? MR. JONATHAN: No, I am not…..my conscience tortures me. MR. FELIX: But I always requite you well, don’t I? MR. JONATHAN: Yes….but I can’t comply anymore. MR. FELIX: (Shocked) what has come over you? (Beat) You have always helped me……..you are even my best friend, aren’t you? MR. JONATHAN: I am your best friend quite alright, but people of the state are suffering— MR. FELIX: Suffering? But I am not the president. I am just a mere senator…. I can’t do anything. MR. JONATHAN: You can, of course…..you can do something…..Every day I drive through the street, I see masses……the poor masses on the road looking awful, you know— MR. FELIX: Awful, how? MR. JONATHAN: They look like overworked jade horses dressed in rags— MR. FELIX: Jade horses? What does that mean? MR. JONATHAN: Like old, wretched horses who have worked from dawn till dusk— MR. FELIX: But that’s not my fault (Mr. Felix walks to the couch and sits) I don’t see them. MR. JONATHAN: Of course, you don’t, probably because they drive you around in SUVs’ with tinted glasses and you don’t get to see the thick population out there— MR. FELIX: Thick population? MR. JONATHAN: Yes……Rising as though Nigerians have sex everyday MR. FELIX: Oh! That’s because Nigeria women are fertile. MR. JONATHAN: Yes, they are. But National Assembly has to do something about it. MR. FELIX: Of course……They are trying to pass a bill, you know! MR. JONATHAN: A bill? MR. FELIX: Yes, a bill……that will see the federal Government distribute condoms to everyone in Nigeria freely, especially the north. (Frail barks are heard off the stage) MR. FELIX: (Flinches; trembles) What’s that? MR. JONATHAN: Oh, my dog, Farouk— MR. FELIX: Your dog? MR. JONATHAN: Worry less about him…..he is subdued in his cage without food— MR. FELIX: (Big breathe) Umm, we have to be careful about animals, especially dogs we keep in our houses these days. MR. JONATHAN: Forget the dog. (Beat) Above all there are a lot of paupers living on the streets. Each time the poor talk about their conditions in televisions, they croak like hopeless, old ravens! MR. FELIX: So are we politicians the cause of their conditions? MR. JONATHAN: Yes, of course (Beat) it’s like we are sweeping away their dreams and aspirations like they are piles of dusts. MR. FELIX: But you can’t blame me alone….most leaders had seven….some eight and…..some even twelve years. MR. JONATHAN: We know those previous leaders were hopelessly lazy lazy…..lazy like frogs! MR. FELIX: Jonathan, you are making me feel bad— MR. JONATHAN: Am I? MR. FELIX: Yes. MR. JONATHAN: Sorry if I do. (Beat) but not only politicians should feel bad, even pastors— MR. Felix: Pastors! How? MR. JONATHAN: In Nigeria, Pastors have combined evangelism with predicting football matches (Beat) Arsenal would win champions league and they own more planes than Virgin Nigeria— MR. FELIX: Oh, that’s true! (Beat) I feel so ashamed of myself. MR. JONATHAN: I feel bad also. (Beat; then speaks with tinge remorse) Do you know that I have been running unusual business in town….houses of prostitutions of young girls and housewives who can’t make ends meets for fifteen years now or something close to that? MR. FELIX: Prostitutions of young girls and house wives? MR. JONATHAN: Yes and most recently some Chinese girls— MR. FELIX: Oh, sweet Jesus that makes you a foreign sinner! MR. JONATHAN: My friend, there are no local sin or international sin….a sin is a sin. (Beat) I had a deep thought last night and early this morning— MR. FELIX: Why? What could have been the reason? MR. JONATHAN: …we are sinking into a terrible age where terrorism has taken a better part of the world……… MR. FELIX: You speak as if life these days has a cruel look— MR. JONATHAN: Yes…….yes like has a zombie look. MR. FELIX: (Shrugs his shoulders) I am feeling hot. The weather burns! MR. JONATHAN: Hot? MR. FELIX: (Wipes his brow with a finger) Sweaty and extremely hot. Please turn on the fans or air-conditioner……please. MR. JONATHAN: No electricity (Beat) I wonder why Nigeria don’t have steady power supply— MR. FELIX: Perhaps, because we are nearer to the sun— MR. JONATHAN: What’s that suppose to mean? MR. FELIX: We are close to the sun and sun is a natural source of light— MR. JONATHAN: Is that a political reason? MR. FELIX: Yes, probably P.D.P’s reason. MR. JONATHAN: That’s a cheap reason. MR. FELIX: You speak deeply like occupying a political office is EVIL! MR. JONATHAN: It’s not…..we have failed. MR. FELIX: So what are you suggesting we should do? MR. JONATHAN: Me and you? MR. FELIX: Yes. MR. JONATHAN: I had thought deep in my sleep— MR. FELIX: And what did you conclude? MR. JONATHAN: Suicide! MR. FELIX: That’s madness…..sheer madness! MR. JONATHAN: We have indirectly killed. (Beat) Killing myself doesn’t scare me one bit (Indicates a half inch on his finger) One bit! MR. FELIX: But I have a son— MR. JONATHAN: Yes and he is serving sentence in China prison….. Accused of drug trafficking— MR. FELIX: What about your daughter Amara? Has she stopped using drugs? MR. JONATHAN: No., my dear daughter is useless. Our children are no benefit to us. What do we have to live for? MR. FELIX: Sex! Sex lightens all problems, you know. MR. JONATHAN: Sex is just a mortal thing…there is much more to life than sex— MR. FELIX: Like what? MR. JONATHAN: Like eternity. (Beat) There might even be reincarnation— MR. FELIX: (Puzzled look) Reincarnation! What does that mean? MR. JONATHAN: Reincarnation means something coming back to life again— MR. FELIX: Like Buhari or something like that? MR. JONATHAN: No, not political reincarnation. But physical and spiritual reincarnation….. MR. FELIX: Right now. It seems to me that I am Judas Iscariot. MR. JONATHAN: (Makes a gesture to indicate him and Mr. Felix) We are just like the two thieves, aren’t we, Mr. senator? MR. FELIX: The two thieves in the bible? MR. JONATHAN: Yes. The two rogues nailed with Jesus on the cross….. MR. FELIX: …..But I heard that one of them was forgiven because he repented before his death— MR. JONATHAN: Yes…. Yes one of them was forgiven…because he repented at the last minutes of his life. MR. FELIX: What should we do? MR. JONATHAN: Pray and poison ourselves— MR. FELIX: If we do that would God forgive us and welcome us to heaven, will he? MR. JONATHAN: I think so. MR. FELIX: Are you sure? MR. JONATHAN: Yes…..sure. MR. FELIX: Do you have a poison in your house now? MR. JONATHAN: Yes! MR. FELIX: What are you waiting for? Bring the poison, let us drink and sail to heaven (Beat) I can’t wait MR. JONATHAN: Okay. (He rushes off stage and come back quickly with a bottle of poison) This is it. MR. FELIX: The poison—? MR. JONATHAN: Yes……but we have to pray first— MR. FELIX: Yes, yes. (MR. JONATHAN and MR. FELIX sit abreast each other and hold hands. They murmur words inaudibly. MR. FELIX concludes the whole ritual saying ‘AMEN’) MR. JONATHAN: Who drinks first? MR. FELIX: You— MR. JONATHAN: Me? MR. FELIX: You…..Because you own the poison…..and you are also older, aren’t you older? MR. JONATHAN: Okay, then (He drinks the poison and hands the bottle of poison to MR. FELIX. Mr. Felix gulps the poison) MR. FELIX: (Looks at MR. JONATHAN) Umm…..the poison is sweet…..and tasty MR. JONATHAN: I know….let’s wait for some seconds we will be dead….and we will be in heaven and see God. MR. FELIX: Okay. (There is big pause between both of them. They stare at each other steadily and not speaking to each other for few seconds) MR. FELIX: Are we dead? MR. JONATHAN: Are we? MR. FELIX: I guess so— MR. JONATHAN: Do you see God? MR. FELIX: (Gloats) Yes— MR. JONATHAN: How is he? MR. FELIX: (Staring directly at MR. JONATHAN) He is standing in front of me. He has grey hair and speaking to me. (Beat) Seems like God has your face, Jonathan— MR. JONATHAN: Where is he? (Jonathan turns his neck abruptly, looks behind his back) Where? Where is he? MR. FELIX: It seems like God is you— MR. JONATHAN: (Furrows his brows) shut up! (Beat) Are we dead? MR. FELIX: I think so— MR. JONATHAN: But can you see anything apart from me? MR. FELIX: I see, um, furniture…tables, chairs….and even a lighting bulb— MR. JONATHAN: Don’t you see clouds or birds? MR. FELIX: No…..I see…..I see (Shoots a finger to the ‘Ghana-must-go bag) I still see the money, are there “Ghana must go bags” in heaven, Jonathan? MR. JONATHAN: No, forget the money for now…..Can you check the window and look outside? (MR. FELIX rushes off stage; we hear sound of window being opened) What do you see, Mr. Felix? What do you see? MR. FELIX: (Standing at the right end of the stage) I see bad roads— MR. JONATHAN: Bad roads? Are there bad roads in heaven? (Mr. Felix walks back to the stage dejected. He sits on the couch) MR. FELIX: (Speaks weakly) No……we are still in Nigeria (Beat) Seems like we are refused passage into heaven because we are black— MR. JONATHAN: Why? MR. FELIX: Because posters of Jesus we have in our houses are all white— (REBECCA enters. She is MR. JONATHAN’S wife) REBECCA: (See MR. FELIX and her husband, Mr. Jonathan) Good afternoon! (No response) REBECCA: (Greets again) Good afternoon… (MR. JONATHAN and MR. FELIX stares at Rebecca in bewilderment) MR. FELIX: (Stares at REBECCA, glances quickly at MR. JONATHAN, and then back to his REBECCA, and then stares at MR. JONATHAN) Is your wife dead, too? MR. JONATHAN: (Shocked) I don’t know…I am surprised like you, too. REBECCA: (Puzzled look) What’s going on here? (She sees the bottle on the table) Are both of you drinking the bottle of syrup I bought this morning? MR. JONATHAN: Syrup? (MR. FELIX and MR. JONATHAN stare at REBECCA with large, widened eyes) MR. FELIX: Syrup? So we aren’t dead. REBECCA: (To MR. JONATHAN) Yes, syrup I bought for my cough. MR. JONATHAN: What? What of the other bottle? REBECCA: That acid? You mean the diluted acid in a bottle? MR. JONATHAN: Yes…..the other bottle? REBECCA: I threw the bottle away— MR. JONATHAN: You threw it away? Where? REBECCA: (Surprise) Outside…and it broke— MR. FELIX: Broke? REBECCA: Yes, broke. (Surprised) Why? MR. FELIX: The bottle could have given us eternal life! REBECCA: Eternal life? Did the bottle drop from heaven? MR. JONATHAN: No, sweetheart (Beat) you won’t understand— REBECCA: What is wrong with both of you right now? I assumed that, the liquid in that bottle was harmful. MR. JONATHAN: How? How did you know? REBECCA: How did I know? MR. JONATHAN: Yes. Did you drink it? REBECCA: No. MR. JONATHAN: So how did you know? REBECCA: I was sickened with cough this morning and I needed a cough syrup to drink so I found your bottle in our bedroom…….in your cupboard. I wondered what it was…..doubted if it was syrup or a hair dye. So I carried my experiment on a passing housefly— MR. FELIX: Housefly? REBECCA: (Nods her head) Yes, housefly…..I tested the content of the bottle on a housefly— MR. FELIX: That’s brutal— MR. JONATHAN: That’s inhumane— MR. FELIX: Rebecca, you killed an active thing — MR. JONATHAN: (Jiggles his head) Life is vain upon vain— REBECCA: (Stares at both of them; shakes her head) what’s wrong with you two…. MR. JONATHAN: Sweet heart, you just said you killed something— REBECCA: Yes. I drizzled the contents of the bottle on a housefly and the housefly dried out….. Shriveling up like it was placed in fire— MR. FELIX: That barbaric! MR. JONATHAN: That’s insanity! My wife is so heartless— REBECCA: How? MR. JONATHAN: You took away the life and the dreams of that poor creature— MR. FELIX: You ended the poor creature enthusiasm to live— REBECCA: (With an enigmatic smile on her lips) Umm…. (Sees the Ghana must go bag) What’s in the bag? MR. FELIX: In what? REBECCA: In the bag? (MR. FELIX and MR. JONATHAN looks at the bag and remembers there is money in the bag) MR. FELIX: (looking the bag) Oh, the bag? REBECCA: Umm-hmm! MR. FELIX: Money! (He looks at MR. JONATHAN and raises his forefinger like he has a genius plan) Jonathan! Jonathan, I have an idea— MR. JONATHAN: (Highly interested) what’s it? MR. FELIX: I am going to boost employment with this money— MR. JONATHAN: Boost employment? MR. FELIX: Yes (Flicks a bright smile) Yes—and thereby reducing the number of poor people with dried lips and milky eyes! MR. JONATHAN: Indeed, a very ingenious plan….A perfect idea! REBECCA: Yes, indeed. MR. FELIX: And that money I own in Swiss bank. I am going to withdraw them and start a charity home for homeless kids……God has touched my soul today… MR. JONATHAN: Yes. I am going to do the same, too. I am going to do something for Nigeria…..I am going to turn a new leaf— MR. FELIX: Yes…..we are both changing our ways and uprooting the trees of greed in us! MR. JONATHAN: Yes (MR. FELIX glances at his hand watch sharply, looks at MR. JONATHAN) MR. FELIX: I have to go now. REBECCA: (To JONATHAN) Please, Senator, wait a bit let me prepare something for both of you. MR. FELIX: Sorry I have to leave now (Beat) most of the youths and graduates need to be employed and empowered— MR. JONATHAN: Yes…..indeed (Beat) Senator, I am going with you— Mr. FELIX: Thanks. Welcome on board! Let’s go and provide employment for the youths— REBECCA: (To MR. JONATHAN) My husband, are you not eating now? MR. JONATHAN: Not yet…...until youths on the streets have food on their tables to eat. (MR. JONATHAN and MR. FELIX stand from the couch) MR. FELIX: (To JONATHAN) Yes, it’s time to provide employment for youths and reduce the misery in Nigeria— MR. JONATHAN: Yes, the time is now! (They shake hands and exits) REBECCA: Umm…..God is always with us and never sleeps (She smiles) (THE CURTAIN FALLS) |
| Re: Comment On My One Act Play. by mufex(m): 5:14pm On Jul 12, 2012 |
Please comment on!!! |
| Re: Comment On My One Act Play. by Nobody: 12:03pm On Jul 18, 2012 |
I kinda like the beginning part where mr felix was feigning ignorance of d people's plight! I'll need a second read! Nice all the same! |
| Re: Comment On My One Act Play. by wansky(m): 2:21pm On Jul 20, 2012 |
Nice...keep it up! |
| Re: Comment On My One Act Play. by thiscounts(m): 11:00am On Jul 22, 2012 |
A well written satire bringing d follies of our politians to scrutiny and at d same time appealing to their better nature.I will suggest u change two names in d piece..JONATHAN and FARUK not to give impression of what it is not.U might even use some comical names signalling where d story might be driving at.I love d work it speaks of realities of our contemporary time |
| Re: Comment On My One Act Play. by stokolie(m): 1:37pm On Jul 22, 2012 |
creativity blended with satire... the result is powerful... |
| Re: Comment On My One Act Play. by mufex(m): 12:19pm On Jul 26, 2012 |
thanks......... |
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Nikkysyhne I Wrote Something For You / The Red And Blue Coat / Girls And Their Palava....
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