I got this from a friend today and I thought it is really informative:

I have been doing a lot of thinking
and I have come up with some Nigerian Christianese terms used by
tongue talking, bible bashing Christians and I am ashamed I have used
some of them too. Everyday I am learning and unlearning some things
about the basics of the gospel. So here are some of them and feel free
to add some more:

1) " Touch not my annointed": meaning church leaders can't be held
accountable for their misdeeds. ( Try speaking against Daddy GO,
Bishop and their members would rain fire on you).

This is one of the most abused scriptures in Naija, it is taken from
Psalm 105:15. However this Psalm is talking about David praising God
and recounting how God led them out of Egypt and protected them during
their 40 year Journey into the promised land.


2) " I have a discerning spirit": ability to judge people without
really getting to know them for yourself.

3) "I feel led to pray for you": I think you are about to make the
biggest mistake of your life or biggest mess up.

I wonder what happened to the scripture where Apostle Paul encourages
us to pray for each other, and encourage each other with spiritual
songs, psalms and hymns. The next time I hear a friend tell me this,
that friendship is questionable. It means that friend does not care
about me and only prays for me when he/she "feels led".
However I do believe there are particular times God presses it upon
our heart to pray for people, but I do go around telling them. I just
pray for them simple.

4) "Sow into my life" : Hmmm I am flat broke and I need money."


5) "God will provide": Even though I have the means to help you, I am
not willing to part with my money.

6) " I am on the mountain" : another term for fasting and indicating
that your spiritual life is no way as great as mine".

7) "I am believing God": Ok another term some people use to cover up
their doubts. Hoping that if they tell enough people, it would
convince God that they have enough faith for the miracle they are
trusting Him for.

What do y'all think?

Very correct........

LMAO....


how many times have I heard these?

Nice one,

Naija guys, una no go kill person with your creative jokes.

LOL

It is well means the earth's bout to collapse on me

I am strong means I am scared I may neva recover from this illness

lol, me likey: Here's a few additions that make me laugh sometimes

"You need deliverance from ancestral demons" : But wait a minute wasn't the sacrifice Christ enough deliverance?

"All my enemies who stand in my way holy ghost fire pursue them": Actually Holy Ghost fire doesn't pursue anybody, it baptizes people in the Holy Ghost and they speak in tongues.

"my spiritual daddys and mummys in the Lord": Wow, I thought we were all brothers and sisters.


I'll add more when I think of them

Mr_Anony: lol, me likey: Here's a few additions that make me laugh sometimes

"You need deliverance from ancestral demons" : But wait a minute wasn't the sacrifice Christ enough deliverance?
"All my enemies who stand in my way holy ghost fire pursue them": Actually Holy Ghost fire doesn't pursue anybody, it baptizes people in the Holy Ghost and they speak in tongues.
"my spiritual daddys and mummys in the Lord": Wow, I thought we were all brothers and sisters.
I'll add more when I think of them

nice one!

well, my own too.

God is still on the throne means that things are getting out of hand

i am rich means i am broke

all demons sitting on my business, fall down and die means that i am not responsible for the failure or success of my business, it is those demons i have to pray away

when a christians says God forgive me if what i want to say is a sin, you can be sure that what he wants to say is a sin, maybe a gossip or a deliberate lie

If not for christianity i for do this or that, so are you regetting your decision or what?

cyrexx: well, my own too.

God is still on the throne means that things are getting out of hand

i am rich means i am broke

all demons sitting on my business, fall down and die means that i am not responsible for the failure or success of my business, it is those demons i have to pray away

when a christians says God forgive me if what i want to say is a sin, you can be sure that what he wants to say is a sin, maybe a gossip or a deliberate lie

If not for christianity i for do this or that, so are you regetting your decision or what?

Lol, nice one
You are actually quite fun when we are not arguing

Really laughing here for real

Well, here's mine

"Hmmm, don't you know that...?" usually means I'm about to say something really questionable.

"My pastor said,..." usually means I have no idea whether or not it's in the Bible.

"Kabaye..." usually means my brain's shot.

"we thank God..." default answer to every query as to one's well-being. Originally meant you're looking for information you can use against me.

Lol

Ihedinobi:
"Kabaye..." usually means my brain's shot.

LOL

pls, what language is that. care to translate?

cyrexx:

LOL

pls, what language is that. care to translate?

Exactly the point, dude. It's supposed to, like other ejaculations of verbal nonsense, be tongue-speaking that shows that the speaker has entered a realm of spiritual understanding about something the pastor is saying, maybe. Obviously, it isn't so, it's more the opposite.