I think you made a mistake resigning from your place of work and moving directly to Abuja.

Go out there and mingle with the "big mamas" in the area. Get your head game and fingering skills right. You are good to go.

BRATISLAVA:


He thought she's desperate and old, so he was dictating his terms. She agreed, but it seems he's unproductive and you know it's difficult to date a jobless woman, let alone a man.

The guy is an ingrate. What more does he want her to do for him?

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

TheLasyBuddha:


I love older women die!

Currently in a relationship with one who is 7 years older than I am. I will never leave an older woman for all these young children of these days.

You Smart Bro!. Older women are just different from these confused bunch of "chickens"

franchasng:
Abuja is not an ideal city, it's a fake, city of corruption.. Everything there is a mirage of political corruption. Take away looting of Nigeria's commonwealth and that city is empty with no good value or service rendered to society.


I am still in shock.


Even as a foreigner that just landed a new country, I couldn't see myself spend a night at the house of a Russian girl I met. All through my higher institution days, I hated the idea of sleeping over at a girl's place, I condemned friends that did. In fact, I hate visiting female hostel to talk of sleeping over at a woman's house, tufiakwa.


It's unfortunate that many guys today lack confidence in themselves and feel the only way to make it in life is through the backdoor, it's a shame.

And the OP is still having the gut to complain of doing chores for the lady that housed him and feeding him. He is abnormal.


I pray the lady read this thread, the guy is a very bad guy with foolish sense of entitlement

That is you. Maybe you're older than these ones who want a lot of things from women.

He's an ingrate of the worst sort. He saw her living in a smaller place, told her to get a bigger one. She did, on her own tab. He came over, she felt he should keep busy at home. She handles her own laundry, he's complaining about having to do his.

What does he really want?

Dobriy den.

All these set of myopic people with their negative comments self..

See I have seen 4 guys who happened to be my friend that were invited by their online gf they had nothing when they traveled, their gfs fed them paid their flight money harbour them.... So what more to this lady helping this guy who happens to relocate from lagos to abuja... There's nothing wrong there... After all a woman can still help a man not only man helping a woman.... See guy sit down ur gf and talk to her if she can't help them go back to lagos and start a new life.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses.

Op should take this to heart, one of the most viable comments so far. God bless you!

mariahAngel:




With the words above, you'd know that the op had it all planned out from the start.
He deliberately sought out an older lady for his gain.
He brought the problem upon himself.

I don't even doubt if his ultimate plan was to leave the lady after achieving his aim.

exactly what I thought, he ISNA mumu man

Switchman:
Honestly, I don't see the house chores as a big deal and as a matter of fact I don't need her to tell me to get that done cos it is a way of being responsible.

My issue and why I raised that point was I noticed she nags and complains more even when it isn't necessary.

She only behave normal and act loving again whenever she needs sex and I am honestly holding back on that cos with the little I have seen, getting her pregnant would complicate things for me and she gets more infuriated when I hold back on the sex.

I just pray God opens a way for me before it's too late for me cos it's really affecting me emotionally. I disgust nagging women who doesn't consider peaceful communication without raising there voice.

At the bolded.women and sex are inseparable. I know whenever she needs sex she buys everything for you, pet you a little, after the 5 minutes show, she turns to beast again

This is life bro! You put yourself in this mess. I will advise you to expect the worst and also hope for better. Life is a game and your gamble didn’t workout. Sorry.

My brother, you see in this life nobody that that doesn't/can't make mistake. First thing you must do is accept your mistake. 2nd, set ego aside, rub mind with her. ask her what she wants from you or the relationship. she is lording over you cause of your condition, but nothing spoil it could be a turning point that will take you to a better side. don't display weakness. she believes you can't do without her, show her otherwise even if you are not seeing it present. please I didn't mean being brutal or abusive. show her love and show her you will survive/get what ever you want with or without her.

Just find a way and leave her on time to avoid more regrets.

@ OP..think deep for things you can do..it must not b a white collar, then sell your car..and raise funds to start it..

...and just so everyone knows that there hundreds of ladies going late in marriage timing living in abj. And have plenty money..many if them through past immoral practices,many through hardwork...they have spread their net all around the rest of the states to drag usually underachieving guys to abuja for marriage..they promise everything... They cover all cost. But undergone condition: they will never leave abuja to b with you.

In my area, we call them abuja desperate marriage

You are just a lazy nigerian man scum and trash

Hi just new here

I was in the op’s condition a few year back. The only difference is that I had a plan.I wasn’t also planning to come to Abuja to job hunt. I came to set up a business.we ended up not getting married but I must say what ever I am today, God used titi. She housed , fed and clothed me for a whole year. @op where is your car?

Them never show you say you be mumu?

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Very funny man. At least he could have gotten the job first before relocating. May God have mercy on us all

BRATISLAVA:


That is you. Maybe you're older than these ones who want a lot of things from women.

He's an ingrate of the worst sort. He saw her living in a smaller place, told her to get a bigger one. She did, on her own tab. He came over, she felt he should keep busy at home. She handles her own laundry, he's complaining about having to do his.

What does he really want?

Dobriy den.

It's not about being older. I was a teen when I was in the higher institution and I hated the idea of visiting female hostels to talk of sleeping over. All my life, I have never slept over at a girl's house, never. I can't even close my eyes, its not possible for me no matter how bad life is. It has nothing to do with age, it's about upbringing and values one developed while growing up. This is where parental upbringing matters honestly.



The lady is a good woman, it's unfortunate she met an ingrate, maybe she mistreated her former lovers who cared truly for her and now karma is teaching her a lesson through this ungrateful leech, maybe who knows.


I feel for the lady, and it's not as if she is that buoyant, she is managing and this ungrateful guy is doubling her problem.


Younger girls reading should learn from stories like this; don't push out male of your age circle in the name of not ready for relationship or friendship or career, thinking that as a lady once you secure your dream job your dream man will come. It mostly happens for guys not ladies, sadly

Zzor:
Go learn how to talk to a depressed person or you think we don't know how to scold him?be mindful of what you type as depression is already involved or you simply read and pass.sabi sabi

hu told you he is depressed
this one Na foolishness
1. left Lagos to abuja
2. quit a job
3. no plan b
4. a lady you havent met b4

What about ur car?
U can roll it out and continue ur hustle till u get a better job.

U actually go by ur name,,,u switched from Lagos to abuja and she also switched u from a potential hubby to a mere house help.. God help u.

Op, just like your moniker says, you switched your brain with fish brain. You only have two options in this situation: 1 Humble yourself and suck up all the shits she's giving you until you can find something to do. 2 Or get the fucckk out of the place! Your gold-digging journey has turned into a bronze . The choice is yours!

Is better you switch back to where you were coming from.

I think the situation is not as bad as you made it sound. If I do not have a job there is nothing wrong in doing all domestic work for the person providing the money. You should actually wash her laundry rather than waste the on laundry man.

You can even consider opening a laundry service. Work is work. I think you should be grateful that she is carry your cost it is not easy. Most women nag so that she is nagging is nothing new. A lot of women cannot manage a man without money. All those shouting that she is bad do not understand that women are wired to expect money from men. So take it easy see the domestic work as work do it very well.Put some professionalism to it. Meanwhile go get your car you left is Lagos it was poor advise to have done that. With the car improve your earnings. The lady in question is not a bad person you push her to the wall. Ylou can still make an excellent wife out of her. But you need to start earning money. I wish you the best.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses

lol

Your relationship is still at the early stage and occasional tiffs are not unexpected. I advise you communicate more, pray together and bro, “your ego is not your amigo”. I don’t see anything wrong in you washing your clothes or even doing the dishes if she’s at work. Would you rather she came back home from work and did the dishes?

You also need to pray on your own and understand that if it’s not God’s plan that you end up together, it’s perfectly fine. Why worry when you can pray? Tell it to God

McSquishi:


Well, firstly why did you accept the interest of a woman who you perceived was only interested in you due to her “age and desperation”? Why would u want to be chosen based on desperation?

You should be mindful that because she is the breadwinner she is not treating you like the house help by expecting to you to manage the home, she is treating you like the other half. When one goes out and works the other stays home and gets things in order there.

You should want to be doing so well managing the home duties that she almost forgets to be disappointed in the fact that you’ve failed to earn an income. Have dinner waiting, keep the place spotless, fold her clothes...

But it’s nice to see a man recognizing that the duties of managing the home isn’t easy

you get sense

[quote author=MufasaLion post=100058597]As much as I like older women. You're just a SIMP!.[/quote


It will be difficult for a man who is not financially independent to be an Alpha male]

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

I just can't help it! Such a ninny!

Can a fool be wise?

mariahAngel:




With the words above, you'd know that the op had it all planned out from the start.
He deliberately sought out an older lady for his gain.
He brought the problem upon himself.

I don't even doubt if his ultimate plan was to leave the lady after achieving his aim.

Wao...what a nice submission from you.
You are a prophetess now?

Didn't we agree to not judge blindly and keep an open mind?

N.B: the story smells false though. See viewers!!!