lilyheaven:

Just to wash plates two People eat with and clean house, wash his own clothes, he is complaining already, he is been reduced to merely house help. I wonder what he would have typed if children were involved.
But a lady will do all this without complaining, yet society will still expect her to go out and make money.

Exactly

Thanks for your intelligence and wisdom.

PhantomXcess:
What is it about doing domestic chores or helping your partner do laundry or clean that makes African men feel they're less human. If you don't plan to improve or help your significant other, why not break up with them and move out to a place where you can do only your chores and help only yourself.

But, a job won't automatically make you stop doing chores or helping your SO. It wont automatically make her start doing hers. You should actually discuss this with her and ask her to pick days she can help with chores while you make it clear that you will commit those days to intensifying your job search or learning extra relevant job skills. Nurture your partnership and grow together.

It's a WE thing not a YOU thing. See things differently man. Blessings

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

In T bag'S voice...liberating yourself from the shackles of captivity of negativity

U sound stupid man

kriss27:
Can you elaborate brother? I am a redpiller but simp here is what I don’t understand? He doesn’t have a job yet!

So a reasonable man would leave his job and go to meet a woman with hope of getting a job without making other plans?.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

He is a man with no plan for his life.

He runs after p*ssy.
Even his family won't be proud of him

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

You have no right to an ego!

Pack her shìt if need be, she took u in when u had nothing jezz

BarristerAlarig:




You are a very nasty person who feels entitled to other people's money. So you have a car, which could have been used for ehailing services to generate income pending when you get a job but you choose to leave it idle in Lagos while expecting a woman to shoulder your responsibilities in this harsh economy because you want to "test" her??


You deserve everything you are getting. I pray she throws you out.

U are super right bro, bt take it easy on him.

kriss27:
Why are you calling him useless? You think you know it all? I know the OP made a mistake by moving in with her, but that doesn’t warrant you to be insulting him. Didn’t you read where he said that she nags a lot?Why do ladies feel they are doing men a favor with sex? We both enjoy it. Are you a feminist?

Yes, she is “nagging” because he isn’t listening. OP is not a victim, he came ready to exploit her because he thought as a desperate-evening-newspaper, she would put up with his bullshit all to have a horseband. I must commend that lady for thinking on her feet and using him for the sex-object he is.

pocohantas:


The useless alfa male wanted to chop her money, her pussy, have her submit to him, wash his clothes, feed him, while he does nothing. Hunter became the hunted.

When can I take you on a date @pocohantas?

Sorry about what you're going through bro., We all make one mistake or the other in our lives. However, I will advise you keep searching and with God by your side, you will triumph soon.

OP just take it easy with yourself and try to talk to her. Maybe early morning one-one, soul-soul talks can bring back some humanity and understanding in her. It's unfortunate that things went this bad, nobody plans to fail himself but life can be cruel to us all sometimes. I understand that lockdown affected most people in different ways but trust me, it's gonna be alright. The lady in question might be having a different thing in mind and needs some kind and lovely approach to make her talk to you. Don't allow harsh criticism here frustrate you more, take hold of yourself and open your mind.
Good luck bro...

.my Mancini no let am reach stage where u go dey wash stained panties

aroundtheearth:
Abeg, shift. Depressed ko. He got himself into the mess he's in. It's nobody's fault he moved in with her with no job and no money saved either.

The same way you should've read my comment and passed. It's not your place to police anyone's comment here, so keep it moving.

You need to go get a sense.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses.

I commend you for this advice. Good one...

OP ..which car u dey use for lag?

pocohantas:


Yes, she is “nagging” because he isn’t listening. OP is not a victim, he came ready to exploit her because he thought as a desperate-evening-newspaper, she would put up with his bullshit all to have a horseband. I must commend that lady for thinking on her feet and using him for the sex-object he is.

Lol

Switchman:
Though you sounded harsh to me but the fact is that you are actually right cos that was the most stupid decision I took and I can't reverse that which is why am here to seek advise so I won't make a more worse one.

Like I said I had a back up plan which is my car I left in Lagos and intentionally don't want to bring it to Abuja to do side hustle cos I want to know her attitudes in worse case scenario and I never expected within 3 months she will turn boss lady on me.

you what? You mean you left your car in lagos Nigga

the bushmeat caught the hunter. what do you expect it would be? you are not bringing in money, you are idle but you are complaining of being a houseboy? take that chores you do as your contribution of living for free under another mans roof. useless boy.

Switchman:
Honestly, I don't see the house chores as a big deal and as a matter of fact I don't need her to tell me to get that done cos it is a way of being responsible.

My issue and why I raised that point was I noticed she nags and complains more even when it isn't necessary.

She only behave normal and act loving again whenever she needs sex and I am honestly holding back on that cos with the little I have seen, getting her pregnant would complicate things for me and she gets more infuriated when I hold back on the sex.

I just pray God opens a way for me before it's too late for me cos it's really affecting me emotionally. I disgust nagging women who doesn't consider peaceful communication without raising there voice.

what are the things she nags about?

aroundtheearth:
You resigned from your job to move in with a woman you're not married to because you assumed she's desperate and probably a mumu you can take advantage of or mooch off on not knowing your actions could backfire. Well, you're not married, so you can leave if you can't handle the situation because it turned out she's no mumu afterall, but I'm guessing you ain't got no money to move out. Pele

And you're happy if this case is the other way round now you won't type this trash

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

You don't throw away your shoes until you have a new one. You took a mumu decision when you resigned.

It's easier to get job in lag without connection than in Abuja. 90% of jobs in Abuja are govt jobs

Till we hear the story from the other side. Serves you right...gold digger!

Rickylambert:
U sound stupid man

Very stupid I tell you.

Switchman:
Three months pass and am already feeling the heat, for now just wanna play the fool and double my hustle without letting her know my plans and at the slightest opportunity I move. Nothing as sickening as having a nagging wife

U should know that for her as a lady to be single till her late 30s means she might have had some attitude issues..I fear single ladies from their mid to late 30s ...If they were wife materials they probably would have been married long before that age

Zzor:
Go learn how to talk to a depressed person or you think we don't know how to scold him?be mindful of what you type as depression is already involved or you simply read and pass.sabi sabi

Zzor finally borrowed sense....

[img]https://media./images/ed7720831828be8b5e7fe780f1fd7051/tenor.gif[/img]

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Mr man when u were resigning your job and relocating why didnt u come and seek advise then? Well now that the deed has been done, the best advice to you now is to jejely gather whatever change u have, pack your load and move back to Lagos. Good thing u still have your car in Lagos. Get back to lagos get back to driving e-hailing and save yourself the stress. Forget about that lady, u can get better ladies in Lagos. U set yourself up for disaster and the longer u stay they the worse for u. U bettee be wise and put away foolish emotions. It was foolish emotions that got u to where u are now.u can be in that Abuja for the next 2-4yrs and still not get a job. Abuja no easy like that if u dont have solid connection and the life is quite expensive. So are u going to be doing houseboy for another 2yrs? If u even as much as dare stay in that Abuja without a job for another 3months na that time u go see real DEPRESSION. U better run
A word is enough for the wise!!!!

BarristerAlarig:




I totally missed this. Op made her move from a self con to a mini flat with more expenses. Now she has to cover the expenses which is way higher than she's use to. Who wouldn't nag?? OP needs to apologise to this woman.

yes. He needs to apologize.

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

This is a constructive criticism and it's good for his ego....dude fvcked up biggerly.

Switchman:
I wasn't even thinking of becoming a parasite cos we both were doing fine when we met and she promised all the support she can give till I settle down fully but with the covid 19 lockdown and all the whole thing changed.

It was a genuine feelings I had for cos what she lacked in beauty and my taste she gave it back in being caring and love but the absence of money from end is not helping matters and the beast in her was so uncoverable no more.

You don fvck am?

YOU HAVE MONEY WITH YOU
You have a vehicle and you are looking for a job.Go and register your vehicle as an airport taxi at Abuja airport and you would be earning five times what the job you are looking for would pay you.
Move out of the house and squat with friends.End the relationship immediately ,thank your God you didn't marry her as any woman who insults you randomly even once just because you no longer have money is not worth it.If you marry her - you would be living in bondage and depression.