Adnin do not push this to the front page

I've posted some weeks ago about my wife family wanted us to take over her late sister twins children she left behind, I have refused because I am not financially buoyant and it has caused a lot of problems between my wife and I even her family thinks that I am heartless for refusing to help these orphans.
Few weeks ago my wife junior called to say that my mother in law was sick and she want my wife to visit her and I have agreed for her to visit. She left for a week and when she returned back she said that her mother is seriously sick and she want her and the twins to moved in until she recovered. I've told her she can go back to her village and comes back while her mother recover and she refused saying it will be better for her to moved in with us because the environment is better than in the village.
I immediately knew that her mother is actually not sick and they had both plan for her mother to move in so she can leave the twins with us. I refused and I've told her I have no problem for her to go and stay in the village with her mother until she recover.she said no and she reported to her mother saying I don't want her to come in my house and she called me crying saying that I refused her daughter to take care of her and if she dies the blame will be on me . I just don't understand why my wife and her people want me to carry the responsibility that doesn't belong me. The children father is alive they don't want to bother him he is roaming free while they are on my neck to take these babies knowing full well that I am not financially buoyant and she alone won't be able to handle 3 babies at the same which mean she will also needs a helper maybe one of her younger one might have to come and stay with us to help her with the babies she will also become my responsibility.
I want them to leave me alone and focus on the children father and I just don't know what to do so they can leave me alone. I am sick and tired of this situations it has started to stress me..what do I do to stop them ?

Stand your ground.
Just promise you will be Sending money to them to take care of the twins.

If they move in… your own don be

I like your position on the matter. As long as the father of those children is alive, he should take full responsibility for his kids. Don’t carry any burden that will weigh you down.

If you decide to support their upkeep from a distance that is you having a good heart. Those kids are not your responsibility at all. Stand your grounds, man!

The only thing you can do is to let them know that your decision on the matter is as stated and that you will not change it.

Oboh662:



Thank you. They know my decision but they are trying to guilt trip me. I just want them to shut up and leave me alone so they can focus on the children father but they won't just shup up they are stressing me so bad.

Just ignore them. Every time they bring up the issue, remind them of your position on the matter and move. They will eventually shut up when they see that you are not ready to change it.
Just ignore and make yourself happy. Don’t stress yourself or allow anyone stress you.

Bros , stand your ground and don't let any form of crocodile tears dissuade you from the decision you've taken.

In fact, start insisting and stressing them to return those children back to their rightful father , after all, he's still alive and you shouldn't be the one to bear the burden of raising children that don't belong to you.

meum:
I like your position on the matter. As long as the father of those children is alive, he should take full responsibility for his kids. Don’t carry any burden that will weigh you down.

If you decide to support their upkeep from a distance that is you having a good heart. Those kids are not your responsibility at all. Stand your grounds, man!

The only thing you can do is to let them know that your decision on the matter is as stated and that you will not change it.

Thank you. They know my decision but they are trying to guilt trip me. I just want them to shut up and leave me alone so they can focus on the children father but they won't just shup up they are stressing me so bad.

Them dey whine youuuu

Emotional blackmail mixed with reverse psychology.

I wish you wisdom to handle this wahala

Sha try, stay your ground.


Who sick go well...worst case scenario....death and burial..

No be today eyaaa e don teyyy ooh

Oboh662:



Thank you. They know my decision but they are trying to guilt trip me. I just want them to shut up and leave me alone so they can focus on the children father but they won't just shup up they are stressing me so bad.

Call your wife's family on the phone and let them know you are happy for their daughter to move back home with mama while her sickness lasts....that and nothing else. This is what you get when you marry irrational entitled people. They just dont see beyond their noses. The kids aren't yours and you cant afford them...period! If all remains the same, just block their numbers and stop paying heed to their rants. Also, make money scarce for your madam too....she needs to start contributing to the family biko. Orisirisi!

I like your firm stance. You are still at what I call the crawling stage of a nuclear family,it's going to make you crawl longer than necessary if you start adding more responsibilities now. But if possible, nothing stops you from sending your in law money to support

Stand your ground. Don't give in to their pressure and manipulation.

You too be faking no money and cashless policy to prevent her and others coming to ur house nah.

sisisioge:


Call your wife's family on the phone and let them know you are happy for their daughter to move back home with mama while her sickness lasts....that and nothing else. This is what you get when you marry irrational entitled people. They just dont see beyond their noses. The kids aren't yours and you cant afford them...period! If all remains the same, just block their numbers and stop paying herds to their rants. Also, make money scarce for your madam too....she needs to start contributing to the family biko. Orisirisi!

You spoke exactly my thoughts.
This speaks a lot to the mentality and emotional maturity of the op's wife.
Very irrational at best. I honestly pity the dude with a wife that has this kind of mindset.
A wife who is willing to destroy the husband financially and mentally to please her family members.

O mase o!

Even if the father is not alive, do not ever accept more responsibility than you are able. For the sake of your mental health, always help from a distance and don't bring anyone to your home.

Oboh662:
Adnin do not push this to the front page

I've posted some weeks ago about my wife family wanted us to take over her late sister twins children she left behind, I have refused because I am not financially buoyant and it has caused a lot of problems between my wife and I even her family thinks that I am heartless for refusing to help these orphans.
Few weeks ago my wife junior called to say that my mother in law was sick and she want my wife to visit her and I have agreed for her to visit. She left for a week and when she returned back she said that her mother is seriously sick and she want her and the twins to moved in until she recovered. I've told her she can go back to her village and comes back while her mother recover and she refused saying it will be better for her to moved in with us because the environment is better than in the village.
I immediately knew that her mother is actually not sick and they had both plan for her mother to move in so she can leave the twins with us. I refused and I've told her I have no problem for her to go and stay in the village with her mother until she recover.she said no and she reported to her mother saying I don't want her to come in my house and she called me crying saying that I refused her daughter to take care of her and if she dies the blame will be on me . I just don't understand why my wife and her people want me to carry the responsibility that doesn't belong me. The children father is alive they don't want to bother him he is roaming free while they are on my neck to take these babies knowing full well that I am not financially buoyant and she alone won't be able to handle 3 babies at the same which mean she will also needs a helper maybe one of her younger one might have to come and stay with us to help her with the babies she will also become my responsibility.
I want them to leave me alone and focus on the children father and I just don't know what to do so they can leave me alone. I am sick and tired of this situations it has started to stress me..what do I do to stop them ?

Chief, your wife is the problem. Tell her to her face that she’s the cause of all your wahala.


While we are all different, if I was in your position, I will also inform and involve my family so they know that my wife and her people are trying to kill me. Furthermore, I will explicitly tell my wife that any action to force or trick me into accepting responsibilities that do not belong to me is enough ground for divorce. If she’s so caring, she can move out, get her own place and care for the kids.

Richy4:
OP please remind me again what your wife does for a living?....

I just hope make Suya.. make Suya no be on top your domestic cow body...

If the pressure becomes too much,Vex.. carry your hand do CID... Fish out the father of those kids and ask him whom he was leaving the responsibility of raising those kids.. force him to take responsibility.... All of una be in-laws.. in-law talks to in-law...

OP, ignore this nonsense advice. You have absolutely no business with the father. His actions do not concern you. Do not involve yourself with him. In fact, don’t call him or attempt to beg him to take care of his responsibilities. FACE YOUR FAMILY.

ArcFresky:
Stand your ground.
Just promise you will be Sending money to them to take care of the twins.

If they move in… your own don be

When you marry in Africa, you marry the whole family.
Though I m fir fairness, the man should stand hus ground.

Cut them off

Anyone who wants this man to take care of the kids of another living man should donate to such cause.


Simple!

ArcFresky:
Stand your ground.
Just promise you will be Sending money to them to take care of the twins.

If they move in… your own don be

Wch kind mumu comment is this. Y should he promise them money on what ground after stating that he is not financially stable. He own them shishi.

Oboh662:
Adnin do not push this to the front page

I've posted some weeks ago about my wife family wanted us to take over her late sister twins children she left behind, I have refused because I am not financially buoyant and it has caused a lot of problems between my wife and I even her family thinks that I am heartless for refusing to help these orphans.
Few weeks ago my wife junior called to say that my mother in law was sick and she want my wife to visit her and I have agreed for her to visit. She left for a week and when she returned back she said that her mother is seriously sick and she want her and the twins to moved in until she recovered. I've told her she can go back to her village and comes back while her mother recover and she refused saying it will be better for her to moved in with us because the environment is better than in the village.
I immediately knew that her mother is actually not sick and they had both plan for her mother to move in so she can leave the twins with us. I refused and I've told her I have no problem for her to go and stay in the village with her mother until she recover.she said no and she reported to her mother saying I don't want her to come in my house and she called me crying saying that I refused her daughter to take care of her and if she dies the blame will be on me . I just don't understand why my wife and her people want me to carry the responsibility that doesn't belong me. The children father is alive they don't want to bother him he is roaming free while they are on my neck to take these babies knowing full well that I am not financially buoyant and she alone won't be able to handle 3 babies at the same which mean she will also needs a helper maybe one of her younger one might have to come and stay with us to help her with the babies she will also become my responsibility.
I want them to leave me alone and focus on the children father and I just don't know what to do so they can leave me alone. I am sick and tired of this situations it has started to stress me..what do I do to stop them ?

This might escalate to something bigger, if you don't treat it now.

Inform your family about it, then go for a meeting with your wife's family.

Do your best to inform them 'why you won't be able to take in this babies.'

Be a man by standing to your word, never allow any man to ruin your happiness, when actually they don't mean you well.

Cos with my observation it seems your father in law is not alive

I wish you goodluck.

Oboh662:
Adnin do not push this to the front page

I've posted some weeks ago about my wife family wanted us to take over her late sister twins children she left behind, I have refused because I am not financially buoyant and it has caused a lot of problems between my wife and I even her family thinks that I am heartless for refusing to help these orphans.
Few weeks ago my wife junior called to say that my mother in law was sick and she want my wife to visit her and I have agreed for her to visit. She left for a week and when she returned back she said that her mother is seriously sick and she want her and the twins to moved in until she recovered. I've told her she can go back to her village and comes back while her mother recover and she refused saying it will be better for her to moved in with us because the environment is better than in the village.
I immediately knew that her mother is actually not sick and they had both plan for her mother to move in so she can leave the twins with us. I refused and I've told her I have no problem for her to go and stay in the village with her mother until she recover.she said no and she reported to her mother saying I don't want her to come in my house and she called me crying saying that I refused her daughter to take care of her and if she dies the blame will be on me . I just don't understand why my wife and her people want me to carry the responsibility that doesn't belong me. The children father is alive they don't want to bother him he is roaming free while they are on my neck to take these babies knowing full well that I am not financially buoyant and she alone won't be able to handle 3 babies at the same which mean she will also needs a helper maybe one of her younger one might have to come and stay with us to help her with the babies she will also become my responsibility.
I want them to leave me alone and focus on the children father and I just don't know what to do so they can leave me alone. I am sick and tired of this situations it has started to stress me..what do I do to stop them ?

They think you are a gentle and responsible man who will be able to suffer and care for those children no matter what.

Show them you can also be irresponsible! Japa from the house. Find where to go and leave your house for the main time, don't drop much money at home. When your wife calls, tell her you are cooling off and resting because of the unnecessary stress she is putting you through.

Don't communicate with her mother and regularly off your phone. If they make the mistake of bringing in the kids into your house in your absence, stay away from the house for as long the kids are there. They will get the message and leave you alone.

You can then come back home but render help to those kids from distance the little way you can once things are settled.

Zihno:



Chief, your wife is the problem. Tell her to her face that she’s the cause of all your wahala.


While we are all different, if I was in your position, I will also inform and involve my family so they know that my wife and her people are trying to kill me. Furthermore, I will explicitly tell my wife that any action to force or trick me into accepting responsibilities that do not belong to me is enough ground for divorce. If she’s so caring, she can move out, get her own place and care for the kids.

Thank you. Great advice.

With this she'll sit up, except her mother has used juju on her which is very very possible

Nigerians in-laws are liabilities most times .
If it’s a rented apartment, leave the house for them and abandon them with the responsibilities, stop paying bills at home immediately, don’t allow women to manipulate you into feeding extra 3 mouth in this hard Naija Economy , they will never go again if they come.

If it’s your personal house, plan with your mother and invite her over with additional 3 persons coming with her, let’s see if she will tolerate that, this why it’s good to have your mother frequently coming to your house , it will block all this rubbish , I don’t joke with my mother,

You will have more 3 extra mouth to feed , more school fees , more hospital bills and more clothing to get.

They will start saying rubbish and gossiping around your house and start seeing what doesn’t concern them, Oga scatter everything and kick that woman out first.

Kick her out, you deserve to have rest of mind.

Or use your mother to fight the battle, things are already getting messed up, scatter every thing and then rearrange it, bring your mother in.

Dont agree. Continue to stand your ground. The children's father is alive so why are you being put under pressure . Give your wife a final warning to never bring up the topic again, walk out on her if she brings up the topic, it seems she has decided to send peace out of her home. You gave her a good option of going to the village for a while and that's fair enough. However, if you are capable to assist them financially in any small way, then do it for the sake of family bond.

Oboh662:
Adnin do not push this to the front page

I've posted some weeks ago about my wife family wanted us to take over her late sister twins children she left behind, I have refused because I am not financially buoyant and it has caused a lot of problems between my wife and I even her family thinks that I am heartless for refusing to help these orphans.
Few weeks ago my wife junior called to say that my mother in law was sick and she want my wife to visit her and I have agreed for her to visit. She left for a week and when she returned back she said that her mother is seriously sick and she want her and the twins to moved in until she recovered. I've told her she can go back to her village and comes back while her mother recover and she refused saying it will be better for her to moved in with us because the environment is better than in the village.
I immediately knew that her mother is actually not sick and they had both plan for her mother to move in so she can leave the twins with us. I refused and I've told her I have no problem for her to go and stay in the village with her mother until she recover.she said no and she reported to her mother saying I don't want her to come in my house and she called me crying saying that I refused her daughter to take care of her and if she dies the blame will be on me . I just don't understand why my wife and her people want me to carry the responsibility that doesn't belong me. The children father is alive they don't want to bother him he is roaming free while they are on my neck to take these babies knowing full well that I am not financially buoyant and she alone won't be able to handle 3 babies at the same which mean she will also needs a helper maybe one of her younger one might have to come and stay with us to help her with the babies she will also become my responsibility.
I want them to leave me alone and focus on the children father and I just don't know what to do so they can leave me alone. I am sick and tired of this situations it has started to stress me..what do I do to stop them ?

Oga if they move in, u move out. Simple. I no dey stress myself for unreasonable peeps because nothing u go tell dem wey dem go accept, as na their own dem go wan do. Just quietly say u dey go "market" but u don already pack your things go one self contained apartment. Dey there and under no circumstances should u tell dem where u dey o! Na dem go wise by force.

LilMissFavvy:
Dont agree. Continue to stand your ground. The children's father is alive so why are you being put under pressure . Give your wife a final warning to never bring up the topic again, walk out on her if she brings up the topic, it seems she has decided to send peace out of her home. You gave her a good option of going to the village for a while and that's fair enough. However, if you are capable to assist them financially in any small way, then do it for the sake of family bond.

Also block all in-laws numbers

leisuretym:
Nigerians in-laws are liability
If it’s a rented apartment, leave the house for them and abandon them with the responsibility, don’t allow women to manipulate you into feeding extra 3 mouth in this hard Naija Economy , they will never go again if they come.

If it’s your personal house, plan with your mother and invite her over with additional person coming with her, let’s see if she will tolerate that, this why is good to have your mother frequently coming to your house , it will block all this rubbish , I don’t joke with my mother,

You will have more 3 extra mouth to feed and school more fees to pay, more hospital bills and clothing

They will start saying rubbish and gossiping around your house and start seeing what doesn’t concern them, Oga scatter everything and kick that woman out first.

Kick her out, you deserve to have rest of mind.

Or use your mother to fight the battle, things are already getting messed , scatter every thing and then rearrange it, bring your mother in.

Wallahi! If not ehn, dem go use BP kill OP. OP if u like no listen o! Na sorry go be your name very soon

BestMan001:


This might escalate to something bigger, if you don't treat it now.

Inform your family about it, [b]then go for a meeting with your wife's family[b].

Do your best to inform them 'why you won't be able to take in this babies.'

Be a man by standing to your word, never allow any man to ruin your happiness, when actually they don't mean you well.

Cos with my observation it seems your father in law is not alive

I wish you goodluck.

Laye

DavidEsq:

Oga if they move in, u move out. Simple. I no dey stress myself for unreasonable peeps because nothing u go tell dem wey dem go accept, as na their own dem go wan do. Just quietly say u dey go "market" but u don already pack your things go one self contained apartment. Dey there and under no circumstances should u tell dem where u dey o! Na dem go wise by force.

🤣😃🤣🤣😂

Imagine trying to force 3 people on me in this present economy, nah to Japa!😂😂

The mama is already feeling the economy heat, having to care for late sister kids in the village alone, she want to transfer the responsibility to the innocent man, na to run away , abandon all of them

Stevenbright:


They think you are a gentle and responsible man who will be able to suffer and care for those children no matter what.

Show them you can also be irresponsible! Japa from the house. Find where to go and leave your house for the main time, don't drop much money at home. When your wife calls, tell her you are cooling off and resting because of the unnecessary stress she is putting you through.

Don't communicate with her mother and regularly off your phone. If they make the mistake of bringing in the kids into your house in your absence, stay away from the house for as long the kids are there. They will get the message and leave you alone.

You can then come back home but render help to those kids from distance the little way you can once things are settled.

Vawulence for vawulence 😂😂😂😂😂😂