PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

Oga, you should have collected it.

I share the same view as you, but I learnt something from someone about rejecting gifts especially from elderly people.

PuZZyNegro:
I traveled from Lagos to Port Harcourt to see my future in laws family. My girl wasn't around as she's still in Lagos schooling.

I went there with a family member and got them some items like shortcake biscuits and juice.

They offered us food and we ate. After the meeting and normal questioning, we were set to go when surprisingly, this people brought out two loaves of bread and gave us. I told them that the food we ate was enough, that we don't need the bread.

We haven't even gone far when my girl started texting me on WhatsApp angrily asking me why I rejected her mother's gift. That she gave it out of love, this and that.

I told her that bread is the wrongest gift the mother could give me. I am supposed to buy them bread and not the one way round. I intentionally refused to buy bread for them because I assumed bread is an everyday food that people buy and eat, so I decided to go with the package biscuits instead and here they are offering me bread.

If it were something produced locally by them like coconut or something, I can understand but bread?

Please, did I do anything wrong rejecting the bread?

Yes very wrong.
Listen young man, though I don't know your tribe but I think it would have help me to know why you failed woefully it has a role to play in your life. If you are an Igbo man, you mumu but any other tribe, no problem.
Firstly, you ought to have bought Bread while meeting your suppose future in-laws from far away Lagos, Bread suppose to be your first gift you MUST buy/carry to them.
Secondly, the bought it and offered it to you to teach you what you should have known/done but you failed to do it.
Lastly, the family are intelligent people that feel you should be thought a tradition you suppose to know which you were ignorantly failed.
You rejecting the bread is another bad behavior from your side because no matter what they present to you as your inlaws to be, you ought to have accepted and collected it even if you trow it away on the road while going home, you rejecting it is a very BAD behavior.
Finally, always seek guidance/chat with elders in your town IF your dad is late.
Today's generation always try your best to know what is called courtesy and observe tradition on life.
Peace.

PuZZyNegro:
I traveled from Lagos to Port Harcourt to see my future in laws family. My girl wasn't around as she's still in Lagos schooling.

I went there with a family member and got them some items like shortcake biscuits and juice.

They offered us food and we ate. After the meeting and normal questioning, we were set to go when surprisingly, this people brought out two loaves of bread and gave us. I told them that the food we ate was enough, that we don't need the bread.

We haven't even gone far when my girl started texting me on WhatsApp angrily asking me why I rejected her mother's gift. That she gave it out of love, this and that.

I told her that bread is the wrongest gift the mother could give me. I am supposed to buy them bread and not the one way round. I intentionally refused to buy bread for them because I assumed bread is an everyday food that people buy and eat, so I decided to go with the package biscuits instead and here they are offering me bread.

If it were something produced locally by them like coconut or something, I can understand but bread?

Please, did I do anything wrong rejecting the bread?

I dont know why some people are just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo daft.
Must you reject it?
If you collect the bread and throw it away or give it to beggars on your way, WILL YOU DIE?

FalseProphet1:
That marriage will not hold.

This I have seen.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Gift is not gift oh. Someone cannot gift me strange gift and expect me to collect.

omo u guys are not bashing this OP enough sha. he is busy searching for other arrogantos like himself

This is why people like you should always visit home to learn meaningful things about culture. Your action was bad but try and look for a way to amend it. But next time try to have cultural sense because is not about I live in the city. Pls do not try such again. Good luck to you.

Op lacks emotional intelligence.

How can you reject a gift from your prospective in-laws? Even if you don't want it, you can as well collect it instead of rejecting it outrightly.

UncleKoboko:

I dont know why some people are just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo daft.
Must you reject it?
If you collect the bread and throw it away or give it to beggars on your way, WILL YOU DIE?

as in the guy OT no reach from here to there. E still dey form right

madridguy:
I am sure you quoted the wrong person.

Bro after all this long talk, you should've collected it. Remember.... It's the thought that counts... L

PuZZyNegro:


You guys are just foaming in the mouth. These people already served us food and we ate.

I don't really think we need bread again to take home.

BY YOUR NAME...
A PUZZY NEGRO... YOU ARE TOO DAFT TO BE AN INLAW. I HOPE THEY WONT APPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE WITH DAT GIRL. ANUOFIA

emmyt2:
Since you stand to be corrected. I will correct you.
He travelled all the way from Lagos to PH to visit his potential inlaws. From the narration. I think he travelled by road which is a long journey. So, the bread would serve a purpose.

Another point is. Probably, both of them are from different tribes. So giving him the bread serves as him being welcome into the family. That is a sign of being loved by the gf family members.

No. I disagree with you because every tribe in Nigeria has its own local delicacy that are peculiar to that region ,they should have gotten something of such in readiness for the would be inlaw and not Bread that is very common in the town no matter how expensive the bread is .Even if it is something of #100 once it is local it is most appreciated by me.
Bread is a NO NO AS far as I am concern .

You still don't understand things at all, a lot of people give bread as gift to others not because the beneficiaries aren't financially buoyant enough to buy bread themselves but because it's a gift. You're to show appreciation for every gifts given to you by others irrespective of how small it is, you don't dictate in a scenario like this.
The guy that you're defending even gave biscuit and juice to his prospective in-laws as per say they're small children, yet they collected his gifts without any complaint. That's how things are supposed to be, if he doesn't want the gift then he should have collected it and given it out to a beggar on his way home.

Op, don't beat on yourself.
see my motto below

NO MATTER THE WEIGHT OF TROUBLE IN LIFE, I ALWAYS FORGIVE MYSELF.

Forgive yourself and move on.
if your-inlaw used this as a barrier for the marriage to hold, count it as a blessing and move on.
in all the mistakes you committed, just forgive yourself.
ire oooo.

[quote author=Kajaard post=127063453]You did not apply emotional intelligence at all.

Yes, you should have collected the bread.

Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift.

This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers.[/quos
Seriously, its a sign of immaturity. Your mother in law gave you bread to be taken home after visit, you said no.it shows you look down on her.The implications are many.You should have appreciate it even if bread is the main food in Lagos.Tell her port Harcourt bread is better than Lagos as you can observe it.This would make her happy with you and as that's the little token she has for you. The way new generation children think eh!

That was what they could afford but you just called them a church rat. Look at the stupid items you even gave to your future inlaws(shortcake biscuits and juice.) and you are complaining they gave you bread. From the list of items you gave them, you don't have respect for elders and you don't deserve their daughter.

You dey carry shortcake and biscuits go give elders? so you don't know that even a cheaper item like kola and a cheap wine is more appropriate for such visits?

OriginalCEO:


as in the guy OT no reach from here to there. E still dey form right

The fool just lack home training. I pray dont parents wont make the mistake of approving their marriage.

Kajaard:
You did not apply emotional intelligence at all.

Yes, you should have collected the bread.

Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift.

This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers.

the in low should have add ewa with the bread

I am sorry o. You are not mature enough to marry! So you can take the pain and stress to travel to a place as far as Port-harcourt only for you to Bleep everything up. You are rude, proud and arrogant!

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

Even if it's groundnut they gave you, you should have collected it. Haba!!! These are your parents-in-law.

So is it biscuits and juice that befits them, yet they took it with love. But to you, you think they should have done more abi what?

For the first time ever on NL I agree with @FalseProphet1 opinion on this matter.

& of all things to buy Na biscuits & juice u carry go give ur prospective African in-laws?

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

ValarDoharis:
What did your family member that accompanied you say?

He said that the family member actually told him to collect it, yet he was adamant in his ways. He decided to come here looking for validation or justification for his deed. He's still arguing at length on what he did, you don't reject your in-laws'gift irrespective of whether you needed it or not. He should have collected it and then either give it to a beggar or trash it on his way home. The funniest thing is that the same guy that was talking about the symbolism of gifts actually gave biscuit and juice to his in-laws. Maybe dude was expecting to be given Ferrari in return, yeye dey smell. 😌

If I were u , I would have collected it and indirectly pay for it

I understand what transpired here. From his point of view he didn’t want to look like the only one receiving. It was not out of disrespect. I can tell it happened so fast. And to think of it, giving loaves of bread to a grown man as take away present is really weird

Kajaard:
You did not apply emotional intelligence at all.

Yes, you should have collected the bread.

Most African parents/ In laws et al might think you are disrespectful by rejecting their gift.

This is not the western world. You should have collected the bread no matter how local or little it looks. Cheers.

Person wey carry biscuit go in-law house dey reject bread

Persephone1:
Redpillers don strike again

Imagine taking biscuits and juice to in-laws house . Come dey complain give daughter say her parents gift no make sense.

Who are those marrying these people self? Like shey these women do not screen these men at all ni?

Na the biscuits muzz me pass. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

PuZZyNegro:


It's not about it being local or little. The Bread was gotten from Market Square super market. I just find it awkward giving bread to your son-in-law to be on the first meeting.

Gifts are symbolic you know.

Symbolic u say abi.


Whatever happened to ' bread of life? '

Why u sef carry biscuits go?

U nor see live goat or rolls of clothing to carry go?

Me anything u give me, I collect it.

Then I throw it away once I leave u.

You gave them biscuit but rejected their bread claiming that breads are common in their vicinity or community. Does it mean biscuits are not common in the stores there? Guy, you mess up!

When they tell you to look for an elder to accompany you on such visits, you will rather look for a whatup guy like yourself. First outing wrong impression!