vicadex07: My dad told me if I came first in my exams, he was going to buy me a bicycle. I never truly understood what the concept was then so I outdid myself. I made sure I was "first" to finish and submit.

Immediately I got home, I broke the news to my dad filled with joy and satisfaction. Immediately he heard, he was like how did you know you are the first when your results haven't been released and I was like "I was the first to finish and submit dad, am not lying, you can ask my aunty"...and that was the end of the story. All the explanation he gave me fell on deaf ears. At the time I felt he betrayed my trust so that he won't be obliged to fulfil his promise of buying me the bicycle

Lol! Whether u were the 1st to finish writing or 1st in position, 1st is 1st.

Tell ur dad that i said, he is indebted to u.

mimiy05: another one....pupsy been dey sleep one afternoon so me and younger brother decided to do something stupid. we'd each take turns and go and lie next to him then run out of d room....we just dey do the thing dey laugh until e reach my turn again...as i form sleep finish say may i open eye come run comot na so i see two pairs of angry eyes staring at me..pupsy don wake...choi..the kind slap wey i receive that day eh...my head rotate 360 degrees
abi na when me n my younger brother dey fight..i come realise say d boy they win me say lie lie how e go win na? na so i take bite im d**k...my mama nearly kill me that day...
i did many crazy tinz o...i go dey update as i remember

Chai!!! Babe u harsh ooooo. Habatically!!! Wetin go make u bite ur bro for him Chief Of Army Staff. Abeg nor go bite ur husband anytime una 2 quarrel if not, u know d rest

lymelyte: guy, e don tey u ooo

lymelyte: guy, e don tey u ooo

scholes23:

Chai!!! Babe u harsh ooooo. Habatically!!! Wetin go make u bite ur bro for him Chief Of Army Staff. Abeg nor go bite ur husband anytime una 2 quarrel if not, u know d rest

lol...that time i no knw say that place dey important na...na small pikin brain i get na...

Mutuwa: I use to dread tales by moonlight,esp the opening theme where a hunter comes across a monster in the bushes.it got worse after the movie "childs play 1 & 2 wer released,followed by terrahawks..mhn those space vultures still send chill to my spine.

The theme song/sound used to scare me, i can still hum it till today . That monster taking the hunter away gave me nightmares

OBIORAA: [color=#000099][/color]my brother if I begi tell una all the things I do as. A child, na yaba left una go send me.

SMHL

I lived faz me nd faz u wit my mum @ ib, i was lyk 8years den, i dnt realy rememba, dere was one day, i was about to take my bathe in d bathrum, wen dis aunty living 3rums to our own said, she too want to take ha bath.. So she decided we shud bathe togeda.. Omo i c pussy nd boobs.. Anytym i c dat aunty want to bathe i do schedule mine to dat tym in order to c ha naked..

Wen eva i colect,smfin or abuse sm1, they wud want to purse me, dey i wud run pas our passage, wen d persn is almst near me i wud close d door, d child wud jst get wounded..

There is this gal she is 6mnth old dan me, wen i was a kid den, we do play husband nd wife. One day i caught ha playin wit ha mum's gas cooker.. So i blackmailed ha to kiss me, she did, nd also ask ha to sleep on me.. Bt i dnt really knw wat to do den..if knw den i wud av do smfin bad..
If i say i shud list dem, i cnt finish today

pussypounder: I usually disturb our neighbor pressing there bell and running away, till it got faulty and i pressed it and it shocked me, i decided that not only me was going to get the electric shock so i called my short friend to press the bell, he was not able to reach it so i carried him and it shocked the both of us

OMG,LWKM,LWSMH,LWBMS,CFR,MON,FBI,PDP hahahahahahahahahaha.What a way to start the day...you got me real bad

pussypounder: I usually disturb our neighbor pressing there bell and running away, till it got faulty and i pressed it and it shocked me, i decided that not only me was going to get the electric shock so i called my short friend to press the bell, he was not able to reach it so i carried him and it shocked the both of us

You got me LOL.

Lemme keep updating...
At around 9yrs, I saw always in my mom's room...i asked what it was and she told me it's toilet roll. I said she should gimme one and she refused. Later I sneaked into her room and collected one, took it to school to show my friends that my mummy uses packaged tissue

ideyhere: Lemme keep updating...
At around 9yrs, I saw always in my mom's room...i asked what it was and she told me it's toilet roll. I said she should gimme one and she refused. Later I sneaked into her room and collected one, took it to school to show my friends that my mummy uses packaged tissue

lol..i used to think it was biscuit so i said to myself "this fancy biscuit mummy is always hiding, i must eat it one day" so one day when she went out, i snuck into her room and stole one...when i opened it, i was very perplexed at what i saw..d tin no resemble biscuit..i just dey turn d tin round to try figure out wetin im be...when i tire to they think, i throway am...lol...it was in my jss2 when always people came to my school i finally knew wht it was

i used to jump down from the top of the chair using umbrella as parachute...once i wanted to try jumping off my balcony cos i wasnt really getting the "umbrella parachute effect" from jumping off the chair...we stayed on the first floor..thank God a neighbour sighted me o....whi knows what wud hv happened...dem sha beat me...as usual

Lots of Hilarious Funny stories...Lemme start mine.....

Theres lots of funny stuffs i did as a kid...

We live in 1 room among the 16 Rooms of faze me i slap u.....Then as a kid i do Tamper with Electric Alot....If na Electric dey Quickly kee Person,i for don die teytey ....There was a day i saw ma dad cutting a Wire with Plier..after he was through....the following day..i now took the plier wen only me and ma Brother is around,,,i took d plier and cut the television Cable while watching TV before i knew what happen...d Socket explode....na so i run leave ma junior brother for room dey shout.....Egbami oooooooooo (Help me oooo) the mumu boi dey inside dey Cry...i no know say i don lock Door....Wen dat Baba come back from no be say i hear weeeeen ooo....He use cain design ma Body

mimiy05:
lol..i used to think it was biscuit so i said to myself "this fancy biscuit mummy is always hiding, i must eat it one day" so one day when she went out, i snuck into her room and stole one...when i opened it, i was very perplexed at what i saw..d tin no resemble biscuit..i just dey turn d tin round to try figure out wetin im be...when i tire to they think, i throway am...lol...it was in my jss2 when always people came to my school i finally knew wht it was

Choi!!! If you see as I happy dey go school that day...and my school mates spoil well well that time so most of them sabi wetin em be...na so I carry the thing like pikin wey I be comot for where both boys and girls dey

hmmm. i do rid tricycle lol

ideyhere:

Choi!!! If you see as I happy dey go school that day...and my school mates spoil well well that time so most of them sabi wetin em be...na so I carry the thing like pikin wey I be comot for where both boys and girls dey

lolz

I've been following nairaland for some time now, but I'd to register to be able to comment on this post..well, when I was about 5 yrs old or so, l tore up my dad's turn table speakers to find out who was always singing inside every evening when he comes back from work.

missojugo:

The theme song/sound used to scare me, i can still hum it till today . That monster taking the hunter away gave me nightmares

hahahaha..thot i was the only one..

My days wen I was little was so adventurous,as a little boy in the ghetto anything is fun for us..I play cashew seeds,play card(both sides of a match box)
I played canter,stole 5 naira to learn how to drive bicycle.
Refused to go sch cos my crush saw me naked
Did this papa and mama style
While in primary school,played stone me I stone u(to know the best stoner..lol) broke my head many time from that..but am a good dodger now
And I was a little foolish though hardcore then
Did a lot of foolish things too
Like when one bros said if I buy this tight(boxer that ladies use to wear now) that whenever I jump inside a river that I will never sink but float..well am a kid that loves swimming so I contributed my money after 2weeks,we went to the river as usual to swim and I jumped into the shallow and deepest part with full confidence..well na God save me say people dey there to help or else,me the little carl johnson of grove street would have been ...

sparrow77: I've been following nairaland for some time now, but I'd to register to be able to comment on this post..well, when I was about 5 yrs old or so, l tore up my dad's turn table speakers to find out who was always singing inside every evening when he comes back from work.

Good to have you register on Nairaland coz of this thread. Welcome come on board. Yea! I was very curious on this and almost dismantle our radio set, before being stop by my dad who later explain to me the mystery behind it. Curiosity @ its peak in childhood.

ibangs: As kids years back, there were certain actions and characters we had that if in retrospect now will appear hilarious and you may be wondering why you did that. Well as a child then we obviously would reason as one. As for me back then i cry when ask to take a bath, upset during news hour on NTA, muttered and refuse to eat(their food abi?) after being berated and chasten by my parent(Imagine! who's hungry?).

Let's hear yours.

My own was riding my rally bicycle on the express road without brake. it only took the grace of God i was not knocked down by cars on two different occasions

SenatorJames: My own was riding my rally bicycle on the express road without brake. it only took the grace of God i was not knocked down by cars on two different occasions

I did something close but was down the hill in a traffic free road(Usually the road to the stream). Enjoying the speed but @ high risk(No brake). I had a handful of injuries.

Dem plenty. Where do I start?

Medunah: When i was young, i nd my siblings used to gather every white stuff we find in the new cartons (dose white things u see in cartons of refrigerator, home theater, TV nd so on, u know nah) wen my dad goes out, we will then go to the generator house nd take petrol to pour it on d white thing to make GUM, everytime my dad will complain dat d fuel is diminishing in quantity, we wont talk. d day my dad caught us ehn, u know d rest..

the white stuff is called fibre glass

prettyem: hmmmmm,it ws during long vac., my mum sent me to help her buy a crate of minerals,i ws 12. I hit my feet on a stone and bottles came crashing, 14 broke outta 24 come see as i fall for crowded street dey roll for ground "yeee e gba mi o,haa mummy a lu mi pa leni ooo,mi o lo 'le wa mo o" (pls hlp me,my mum will beat me to death,i'm nt goin home again). I refused to stand up till my crate ws filled with new bottles,pple on d street had to contribute coke bottles dat day o,twas nt funny.
I tld mum wen i got home,all she did was laff @ me. Ech time i remeba dat scene i jst laff @ mysef.

That reminds me of that blessed day, I was asked to grind pepper at a neighbor's shop.
On my way back home I stumbled on a stone, and the whole pepper spilled on the ground.
I chopped confirmed beating on that day

Truckpusher: When I was a kid and my Mom forced me out of the sitting room to go do my shower upstairs ,I'll simply go upstairs take considerable amount of time, wash my face and rub my entire body with the Vaseline and come downstairs claiming to have had a good bath.


But I ran out of luck when my Mom checked my armpit during holidays; may she perceived something ,omo! when the investigation ended the flogging and the sound of the cane came amidst sentences.

And it was something like this: Next *pia* time *pia* if *pia* I *pia* ask *pia* you *pia* to *pia*..........

After that day I respected myself and of course my sisters ensured they used it in taunting me for at least some months before it phased out....smh

Lmao.

1.My parents and siblings still tease me with this to this day..I celebrated my birthday @ school.Some moments after distributing gifts to my classmates,the teacher made jest of me(the thing enter my veins make I no lie).I had to start ordering all students to start submiting my birthday goodies.I guess that was the last concerning birthday celebration in that school.
2.During xmas period,would force tenis balls under the xmas chicken..I would now raised an alarm that the hen has laid an egg..see the ussein bolts of my family racing to where they kept the chicken to meet dissapointment
3.When ever I was scolded.I would be pretend say I don't vex..I would tell my mother nt to prepare my dinner..for mid. Night when hunger wan finish my life.I would race to the kitchen for my final battle..in the morning my dad would talk about a mid night rat making funny sounds for kitchen.every body go just burst laughter.
4.Getting my leg hung in the rails underneath the centre table.my parents would have to call in carpenter to disengage my leg.
5.Having dick fight with cousin(using our erect dick as swords).my neighbour reported us to my mum..see floging
6.I grew up in a deeper life setting.my dad would force me to weekly service.I won't attend.but get information about the sermon.the day my dad caught me.see floging

Being an immediate elder to our lastborn, i dey think say na me senior anybody wey be lastborn, whether u be papa or pikin.

ME SUPERMAN
I had just finished watching the movie Superman 2
eagerly I went into my room took my red towel tied it on my neck as a cape.
I went outside to d corridor and I shouted "Me Superman ” I jumped off, hoping I wud fly...
The volume of my cry reminded me "I was not built to fly"

fatboyslym007: ME SUPERMAN
I had just finished watching the movie Superman 2
eagerly I went into my room took my red towel tied it on my neck as a cape.
I went outside to d corridor and I shouted "Me Superman ” I jumped off, hoping I wud fly...
The volume of my cry reminded me "I was not built to fly"

hmmmm, dat superman thing/batman broke lots o'legs...
I cant even remember most childhood experience. Okay weneva we were given tfare to skul, we'ld treck and spend d money. I guess dats d only one i rememba

klarke:

Kai! I no fit laugh! *rolling on my bed, hitting my head on d pillow*
Drops of tears are still rolling down my cheek as I type. Oboy ur own too funny. "Akwu is a Mother"

bros eeee, if I remember that episodic event, e go be like say make ground open make I hide inside...

ibangs:
It just could be one of your best now. ;

I swear down