Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? - Family - Nairaland
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I Am Beginning To Despise My Fiance' / I Saw This On My Wife's Phone.....should I Be Worried? / "Why I Am Not Worried About My Wife Cheating On Me" (2) (3) (4)
| Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by caramel007(f): 7:47pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
Well, it so happens that bae cheated on me or rather should I say that judging by the contents of his chat between him and a lady on whatsapp, I want to believe he did. They shared a lot a intimate stuff to the extent that the lady was telling him about her period and he also saying thjat she might be pregnant. A statement that really got my attention was when the lady asked "who bleeped me?" And he replied "me" how does such convo pass between people that are currently not being intimate is beyond me. Let's get things straight. I didn't set out to snoop at all, never been a fan but I wanted to check my whatsapp profile as it appears to other people and that particular chat got my attention. I confronted him, to say I was shocked was putting it mildly, I was hurt, disappointed and distraught. I love him so much and I believed in him. Though he doesn't have much at the moment but he s hardworking and I know that soon enough God will bless us. I gave him my all and it hurts pretty bad for him to do this. He explained that the lady was his ex and all that convo was just "playful banter". He begged and begged and swore on his late mothers grave that the had nothing together and that that's how they talk sometimes. I'm sure he must have used the word "please" a million times today but I just can't get over it. This is a man I gave my all and love despite his shortcomings believing that no one is perfect cos I ve got my flaws as well. I have heard his pleas and we made up, had a mind blowing make up sex *wink. I'm sorry for the long tale but I need u to understand as much as possible. Though I have forgiven him but I must confess that d chat still plays out in my head. I don't want any man to take me for granted. Is cheating enough reason to end a relationship cos I'm thinking of doing just that. And knowing that this is a serious relationship with and introduction underway and marriage after, wouldn't I be contending with this issues in marriage? Am I over reacting? Are his explanations tenable? Is it possible to discuss something as intimate as that without any intimacy involved? I need answers from matured members in the house. Preferably from the married folks. I ll stop here for now but will provide other necessary information in the comment sections. |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by TRADELYN: 7:50pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
I feel your pains...this should be taken seriously. Cheating is a big problem; and this is assumed to be done with an Ex. Watch him very closely...there's more to what you already know! How well do you know him? One of the mistakes many lovers make is that they don't really know who they are about to marry...only time will tell who he truly is. Trust is lacking in your relationship. If you ask me, this can spoil everything faster than you think. Both of you should work on this! |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Mynd44: 7:51pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
There is a huge chance he ain't cheating. Might just be banter. I have banter like that so I know and what's special in a woman telling him she is in her period? That is old abeg |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 7:56pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
He might not be cheatin 1 Like |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by iornenge81(m): 7:56pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
I have a suggestion but aren't marriage so waiting to get married to comment |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by obyrich(m): 8:00pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
If all you typed here is what really transpired between you folks, your guy did not cheat on you. However, I think swearing by his late mother's grave was way too extreme for him to prove his innocence. I can't go that length with someone I love. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by luvablesam(m): 8:00pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
Well well Well,What can I say....give him a second chance if u so desire but remember ' he who is without sin shld be the first to cast a soon'. Think deep b4 u make a decision. N.B....Do u know bae means poops in Danish? y use it for a loved one? 1 Like |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Ab025(m): 8:01pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
he isn't cheatin.... |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by bukatyne(f): 8:05pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
Ex and intimate chats are two deadly combo. That said, he might not be intimate else the question who bleeped me ain't necessary However, it is very very irresponsible to have intimate chats with someone you are not in a relationship with. If he knew such rapport could exist between him and ex, why did they break up?  Try to find out why they broke up to help you put things in proper perspective so you do not become 2nd fiddle. Forget the swearing on mama's grave; If he sees you as a keeper and wants to marry you, he will swear on sango's grave that he does not know her even If he just finished mess.ing her. If he is sincere, let him know This is the first and last time you will entertain such disrespect; If he yearns for a tete a tete with ex, he can end your relationship and go back to her. Cheating is a deal breaker depending in your values. No matter How much you invest in a relationship, it is much better to let go than marry and patch up 8 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
Reading through your posts I see there are several other issues. 1. His lashing out and spitting on another woman 2. He still lives with his parents ( has that changed?) 3. You suspect he gave you an std You are the one in the relationship, you are the one who can tell yourself the truth. You decide to stay and come back later with stories of my husband did this did that or you can sit and tell yourself some home truths desperation aside. Goodluck 3 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 8:14pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
Isn't it amusing?... Seeking advise from strangers that know nothing about you, your boyfriend or your relationship. Okay, I think you really need to open your heart to a significant other. Someone who's close to you. We are only a part of the internet. We only get to assume and judge. I believe you know deep in your heart if he's cheating or not. You know him. |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Amhappy(f): 11:28pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
aisha2: Good investigative journalism. Op shine your eyes. 1 Like |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by mutter(f): 11:33pm On Jan 11, 2015 |
în most cases when men and women have intimate chats like this they are not dating but just friends. I think it was all just joke and one can be friends with an ex. Even the way the conversation went it is clear it is just jokes and nothing else. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by cococandy(f): 4:42am On Jan 12, 2015 |
bukatyne: |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by thorpido(m): 7:53am On Jan 12, 2015 |
He might not be cheating but intimate chats with an ex isn't right.it's left to you to search your heart and know what you want. Make sure your consolation in the future will not be the mind blowing sex. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by kreamidiva(f): 8:57am On Jan 12, 2015 |
bukatyne: The bolded is a strong point. How would he feel if he found such chats on your phone with an ex  |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by bellong: 10:02am On Jan 12, 2015 |
Is he the same guy with anger issues? You already settled with "mind blowing sex", why come here again to ask for advice. You are battling with possibility of someone cheating on you, yet you settled with mind blowing sex... I pity you.. you better fear what is called STD. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 10:09am On Jan 12, 2015 |
bellong: Don't mind us oh, we will see the signs and just manage because " no one is perfect " later when we marry and these things become magnified we will come here and lie that they suddenly changed. Let us keep lying to ourselves afterall we will be mrs somebody which is our goal in life |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by bellong: 10:11am On Jan 12, 2015 |
aisha2: Desperate situation requires desperate solution..... She is enjoying the drill, if not she wouldn't put the cart before the horse. 1 Like |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by onegig(m): 10:14am On Jan 12, 2015 |
bellong: Yeah...The sex removes the doubt that he desires someone else as much as he desires her. You can see the emphasis on "mind blowing". She alone can give "it" to him that way. She's the main chick  .1 Like |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by bellong: 10:16am On Jan 12, 2015 |
onegig: oh ok.... I am still living in the medieval age, never knew all these things... Op, I am sorry, didn't know you are the main chic... forget that other gal, she's only a booty call. |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 10:20am On Jan 12, 2015 |
onegig: Another lady is contemplating being pregnant which means unprotected se-x and people are here denying reality saying it may be a joke lmao. Reminds me of an ex, I saw something like that he was discussing with another lady and the man lied to me that it was his colleague sleeping with her hehehehehe yet it is you she is reporting her period issues to I gree. This same guy possibly gave her an std oh, my own is that tomorrow she will claim she dated him for donkey years and he just suddenly changed to a demon from an angel 1 Like |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 10:21am On Jan 12, 2015 |
bellong:The drill is mind blowing jare, when its mind blowing its mind blowing so sense doesn't apply |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by freecocoa(f): 10:24am On Jan 12, 2015 |
It could be what he said it is, some friends are crazy like that, I should know but since this one is an ex, then you have to be really careful, as I don't know why they can be that cool with each other and still stay broken up, it's either one of them is still interested or both of them are but can't be together for reasons best known to them. Btw, you forgave him and had sex, so what are you contemplating for again? *modified* |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by anthoniaz(f): 10:29am On Jan 12, 2015 |
It's possible he's not cheating but the truth is that, no guy agrees he's cheating until he's caught red handed. Forgiveness is easy but forgetting the incident is difficult.It's difficult to forget even if you have forgiven the person. How sure are you the next guy won't cheat on you.Just watch your fiance closely. Take care  |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by freecocoa(f): 10:32am On Jan 12, 2015 |
bukatyne:Wait o, the lady is his ex? I need to change this my glasses o as I no dey see well again, didn't read that part o. |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 10:35am On Jan 12, 2015 |
Reality is he may be lying. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by bellong: 10:41am On Jan 12, 2015 |
aisha2: The mind has been blown already....  anthoniaz: This statement is usually made by defeatist not to believe an ideal situation. The fact that the next guy will cheat shouldn't make anyone accept cheating as the norm. Is the fiance now a baby to be closely monitored? 6 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by onegig(m): 10:43am On Jan 12, 2015 |
aisha2:Although, it might just be him playing around with the ex but intimate chats as such with an ex is inappropriate especially when you are currently with someone. It only means there's something amiss. Although humans like to live in denial. Its something inherent all humans but taking it to the extremes and not listening to that dissenting voice is what is not too good. Add 2 and 2 together and you get your answer. He gave you an std, he intimately chats with someone who reports she missed her period and likely pregnant. They have an history. What else is there to unravel? I guess she is waiting to catch him in another woman's bed before she believes. I maybe wrong though. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by Nobody: 10:47am On Jan 12, 2015 |
aisha2: I can tell you authoritatively that this op doesnt listen to advice. After wasting peoples' time here allowing them to type epistles, the next lamentation thread will be when she is already married to this guy. Women, architects of their own misfortune. Ive stopped having pity for these stories that touch. women and their obsession for pity party is becoming irritating. 4 Likes |
| Re: Is My Fiance Saying The Truth, Should I Be Worried? by freecocoa(f): 10:48am On Jan 12, 2015 |
anthoniaz:In my own case, I was asked how sure I was that the next guy won't hit me, I replied that if he did, I would still leave and they continued, "what if that one hit you too" I still replied "then I will keep moving till I find the one that won't hit me" 4 Likes |
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