freecocoa:
You took the words out my mouth.

They just make it seem like Naija women sit around all day doing nothing, like duh! Get acquainted with your environments people.

in every sphere. Hard working women. I wonder where nairalanders get their facts from.

cococandy:
in every sphere. Hard working women. I wonder where nairalanders get their facts from.

I concur with u...
There Are Communities in NIGERIA, u visit and find astute LAZY men.
Women toil and feed their husbands....
I don't want to list those areas for now..
I have been to some during my rural training/postings..as a student.
Some i met only played board games and drank palmwine all day..

cococandy:
in every sphere. Hard working women. I wonder where nairalanders get their facts from.

I think you are referring to the older generation of Nigerian women. trust me the younger ones now are so lazy; moving around with a sense of entitlement. this is a fact even they can't dispute.

Arsenate:
I think you are referring to the older generation of Nigerian women. trust me the younger ones now are so lazy; moving around with a sense of entitlement. this is a fact even they can't dispute.

stop using nairaland as your bible.
Use your eyes. travel around. I've seen more hardworking nigerian ladies and women in the parts of nigeria that I've been to than men. And that is my own fact.

I know there are lazy women same as there are men but it not a universal thing in Nigeria.

Lamborghini:
You women are jokes.
You want independence before marriage then after that what happens?
Will this independence plan extend to marriage or is it temporary? Will you always keep taking care of your needs yourselves and not ask your husbands for house money or shopping money after he pays your bride price like cattle and takes you under his name as his dependant?

Fish brained clowns with their on and off independence.

@standd,

Nice post

When I read, something was playing on my mind which I couldn't grasp till I read This poster's post.

Now I looked past the insults to the core message: hard, I tell ya

After I am an independent woman and I would not depend on my boyfriend, What happens after marriage? Does This woman carry her independent attitude there or does she dump it as she says I do?

I know a working wife who is proud of the fact she doesn't contribute financially @ home. She is the poster woman for independent woman yet she is still dependent on her hubby.

I am trying to view the issue of dependence...

Is getting a source of income the robust solution to the problem of dependence and 'male maltreatment'?

Op, do you know why I disagree with you? It because even you as a woman believe in the stupid stereotype men have succeeded in brain washing us with. I see women working hard everyday, doing everything in their power to make ends meet. I see female students around me learning all sorts of trade even while studying. Thus, where are the so-called independent ladies? So now I wonder why you decided to write such a long post about a few bad eggs thus painting the whole gender as gold-diggers. I don't know the kind of people you surround yourself with, but as far as I'm concerned, the ladies around me are highly hardworking, respectful and independent. Stop helping men propagate this stupid stereotype. It's a shame.

bukatyne:


@standd,

Nice post

When I read, something was playing on my mind which I couldn't grasp till I read This poster's post.

Now I looked past the insults to the core message: hard, I tell ya

After I am an independent woman and I would not depend on my boyfriend, What happens after marriage? Does This woman carry her independent attitude there or does she dump it as she says I do?

I know a working wife who is proud of the fact she doesn't contribute financially @ home. She is the poster woman for independent woman yet she is still dependent on her hubby.

I am trying to view the issue of dependence...

Is getting a source of income the robust solution to the problem of dependence and 'male maltreatment'?

Do you want your wife to respect you? Do you want her to fulfil her God-given role as a woman? Then you need to fulfil your part too. Male-mistreatment my foot!

netizenbuzz:


Do you want your wife to respect you? Do you want her to fulfil her God-given role as a woman? Then you need to fulfil your part too. Male-mistreatment my foot!

First off, I don't need a wife to respect me; I am not interested in 14yrs behind bars.... thanks

Secondly, you indirectly go back to the crux of my post: doesa lady strive for this independence till marriage?

And third, no matter How you view it, a working wife would always want her husband to do his share of chores to keep her sane

And yes, the lady is my earlier post made her hubby join her in chores.

A woman's problems start the day she sees a man as a solution to her problems.

Nice writeup @op

I
stand to be an exeption


If in any case I ask a guy for anything,even his diick,then it's cos I
consider him worthy enough to help me out and not because it's a
must..NO GUY CAN GIVE ME ENOUGH,IT'S ONLY ME,MYSELF THAT CAN GIVE MYSELF
ENOUGH

I am not interested in adding that someone considers me a liability to my CV

my dear u have not searched deep into the world cos am sure there is always someone that will satisfy u irrespective of your want/need...

netizenbuzz:
Op, do you know why I disagree with you? It because even you as a woman believe in the stupid stereotype men have succeeded in brain washing us with. I see women working hard everyday, doing everything in their power to make ends meet. I see female students around me learning all sorts of trade even while studying. Thus, where are the so-called independent ladies? So now I wonder why you decided to write such a long post about a few bad eggs thus painting the whole gender as gold-diggers. I don't know the kind of people you surround yourself with, but as far as I'm concerned, the ladies around me are highly hardworking, respectful and independent. Stop helping men propagate this stupid stereotype. It's a shame.

ask any regular man to describe a lady and the first thing u will hear is money. but we av few good ones tho.

standd:


This is my opinion.

I used to listen to men whine about Nigerian women being gold-diggers and most times I don't blame the men.
When an entire generation of women do not know the value of hard-work and working with ones hands to make ends meet, then there is a problem somewhere.

Dear Naija woman,
There's no written law that men should buy you recharge cards, buy you sharwamah or take you shopping. Any man that choose to spend on you only does that because he has money to spend in the first place. And last I checked, the freedom to earn money isn't restricted to the male gender alone.
We know how easy it is, to paint your face all day and then dress up to meet a man who will spend on you. But what I don't understand is how we all grew up believing that we can not make our own money. How? Why? Who told you that you can't work to take care of your needs.

Pls, the good men I have met do not want intellectual and physical liabilities.
What happened to the days when our MOTHERS worked hard to care for the family?

Every time you wait for a man to credit your phone, buy your meals, change your wardrobe and cater to your every need.. Then, you have also given them the licence to talk down on you and treat you like a nonentity with nothing to offer.

For those of you who think you can get whatever you want from men without lifting a finger to better your own life. All I can ask is, for how long? How long will you remain brain-dead and dependent.

Get up and find something to do pls, those women out there who engage in petty trade are not silly.
There's actually no pride in being jobless and showing off expensive clothes and items especially if your parents are not wealthy enough to support your life-style.

Whether you are a young school leaver,
An undergraduate or even if you haven't had the chance to study in any school. Just get a job and earn your own money.
Permit me to say this- If you don't find it demeaning to spread your legs in the east and west direction just to get #5,000 from a man, then you shouldn't find any job too demeaning.

*Go to pure water factories and other factories and apply as factory workers.
* Make small chops at home and distribute to Northerners to sell for you.
*There are a zillion small businesses in Lagos alone. Go and apply as sales-person.
*Go and learn a trade.
*Apply at mushroom schools to teach children.
*Study well in school too. So you can get a good job upon graduation.
* Take a walk round your community, you will surely get something to do.
*Apply to learn a trade.

You will not be arrested if you start buying your own recharge cards and paying your own bills.
Thank you.


*N.B: If you find this post offensive, forgive me. There are a lot of women out there working for their upkeep and being responsible.
And there a whole lot of women who think moving from one bar to the other, dressing to kill and getting money from men without lifting a finger to work is the norm.
It is not normal. Pls, if you are in this category, go and find work to do. Even if your salary is not much, at least you can buy little things for yourself.
How can you be proud of using high-end phones and expensive stuffs that your folks can't afford, yet you are jobless and without a source of income.. Pls, what sort of 'invisible' business earn you so much money?

As for me, I find extreme joy in knowing that I can take care of my needs when there's need to do so.
And when men spend on me, they do so out of freewill and not cos I have to beg or pay in kind.
Hard work doesn't kill

First of , happy birthday to you.
With this mentality you'll be a blessing and rock to any man you marry. Keep standing for what is right and thanks for restoring my faith in naija girls

KelvinGraphics:
Dis one is Standd featuring our Teddy bear Sholasholala

Nyc 1,


Where erm all the ladies art o. make una come listen to this wonderful gospel truth.

I think i need to share dis great piece

and how will that stop me from spending on mah lady?

I can't stand DUMB topics like this. Nigerian women are formidable hard workers. Everywhere I go, I see successful Nigerian women. In fact, I see more successful career Nigerian women than men here in the USA. We do not depend on men to buy us recharge cards. This thread is DUMB.

Some men want to eat their cake and have it.
either you pick the submissive girl and be prepared to buy her menstrual pads and tampons because she is not self-sufficient or you pick the working woman but know that you can't boss her around.
Many young girls don't work as hard because they know that old perverted men abound to lavish them with money. but these girls grow up tough and wiser because youth and looks don't last. All those 65yr old "hardworking" widows you see..we don't know if many of them were "gold diggers" in their youth. So pls stop making assumptions about the past vs present. If anything, women today are harder working and stronger.

Oh it is a fact that women especially black women have surpassed men in the area of education and career in the US

red101:
I can't stand DUMB topics like this. Nigerian women are formidable hard workers. Everywhere I go, I see successful Nigerian women. In fact, I see more successful career Nigerian women than men here in the USA. We do not depend on men to buy us recharge cards. This thread is DUMB.

Some men want to eat their cake and have it.
either you pick the submissive girl and be prepared to buy her menstrual pads and tampons because she is not self-sufficient or you pick the career girl but know that you can't boss her around.

cococandy:
Oh it is a fact that women especially black women have surpassed men in the area of education and career in the US

abi o.
Even in Nigeria, women are going places. If anything, women are more independent and self-sufficient today than in the past.

personally. I am yet to meet a Nigeria woman that is a liability in my whole yrs of existence.

Forget men and their ranting
Double check well...if nothing, emotionally

red101:


abi o.
Even in Nigeria, women are going places. If anything, women are more independent and self-sufficient today than in the past.

that's for sure. I know more hard working women than men. At least those I've ever seen

red101:


abi o.
Even in Nigeria, women are going places. If anything, women are more independent and self-sufficient today than in the past.

I'm glad you disagree. Since there are two sides to a coin, your points are cogent but I know what saw when I created this thread.

neoapocalypse:


First of , happy birthday to you.
With this mentality you'll be a blessing and rock to any man you marry. Keep standing for what is right and thanks for restoring my faith in naija girls

Thanks.

bukatyne:


@standd,

Nice post

When I read, something was playing on my mind which I couldn't grasp till I read This poster's post.

Now I looked past the insults to the core message: hard, I tell ya

After I am an independent woman and I would not depend on my boyfriend, What happens after marriage? Does This woman carry her independent attitude there or does she dump it as she says I do?

I know a working wife who is proud of the fact she doesn't contribute financially @ home. She is the poster woman for independent woman yet she is still dependent on her hubby.

I am trying to view the issue of dependence...

Is getting a source of income the robust solution to the problem of dependence and 'male maltreatment'?

IMO, a womans independence is mental, financial, emotional and cuts across every sphere. But I saw a lot of things before I created this thread and I know that the women who are worst hit in terms of physical and emotional abuse are those who don't have a kobo to their names.

standd:


Great.
My cousins in the States start work in high school ( They work in malls and restaurants)
But some of the undergraduates I know in Naija do not even know that they can actually do part time jobs to augment whatever their parents give to them.
I am not saying every woman must work, all I am asking is that ANY woman who can not fend for herself without being considered a LEECH and LIABILITY should get up and get something to do.

Cococandy...this is the crux of my message. I know that women are hardworking and I also see SOME women around who do NOT have anything doing asides painting up and loitering around bars all day. I did not create the thread to rubbish anyone but truth be told, I feel bad when I see people who get used, abused and maltreated because they have made themselves leeches and they do not know that they can actually work to fend for themselves. My message is if you are a WOMAN and you are JOBLESS and can hardly take care of yourself without relying on others...Then you should get work to do.
I am NOT saying that ALL women are leeches. Maybe I did not pass the message across well but I sincerely hope that some will actually get something doing to better themselves.

chidyhels:
personally. I am yet to meet a Nigeria woman that is a liability in my whole yrs of existence.

Forget men and their ranting
Double check well...if nothing, emotionally

Okay.

red101:
I can't stand DUMB topics like this. Nigerian women are formidable hard workers. Everywhere I go, I see successful Nigerian women. In fact, I see more successful career Nigerian women than men here in the USA. We do not depend on men to buy us recharge cards. This thread is DUMB.

Some men want to eat their cake and have it.
either you pick the submissive girl and be prepared to buy her menstrual pads and tampons because she is not self-sufficient or you pick the working woman but know that you can't boss her around.
Many young girls don't work as hard because they know that old perverted men abound to lavish them with money. but these girls grow up tough and wiser because youth and looks don't last. All those 65yr old "hardworking" widows you see..we don't know if many of them were "gold diggers" in their youth. So pls stop making assumptions about the past vs present. If anything, women today are harder working and stronger.

The thread is dumb, haven't we heard worst. Thanks for your input on my dumb thread

netizenbuzz:
Op, do you know why I disagree with you? It because even you as a woman believe in the stupid stereotype men have succeeded in brain washing us with. I see women working hard everyday, doing everything in their power to make ends meet. I see female students around me learning all sorts of trade even while studying. Thus, where are the so-called independent ladies? So now I wonder why you decided to write such a long post about a few bad eggs thus painting the whole gender as gold-diggers. I don't know the kind of people you surround yourself with, but as far as I'm concerned, the ladies around me are highly hardworking, respectful and independent. Stop helping men propagate this stupid stereotype. It's a shame.

It's sad that you think my intentions is to rubbish anyone. But your points are well taken and digested. I see women working hard too to better themselves and I also see women who don't know that earning as little as 5k is better than begging and haggling for free cash. My message is for the latter.

The guy that wrote this must be a poor boy without future. Broke ass

You guys should give Nigerian women some credit na.

I still don't get the issue of majority being dependent on men. Some men even get intimidated when they see women soaring high. I go out every morning to see women struggle for a bus to their workplace as early as 5am...just like men. Coupled with the fact that they are mothers or daughters to someone.

That NL boys cry about something doesn't make it real.

There are many hardworking women in this country. Once in a while, give us some credit and let the condemnation in the sight of the world stop.

Many ladies on here be supporting Op;going,"please tell them".
So,where are them lazy ones,and the shameless 'runs girls' ??
Abi them no dey nairaland?
#hypocrites

You need a hug poster. One reason why I choose female acquaintances based on lofty/respectable ambition and intelligence. The self-inflicted stupidity amongst our young women these days is jaw dropping.
Reminds me of when our grandmothers were agricultural/clothing and textile merchants.

I stand to be corrected but I think more women work these days. I work in a small firm and there are ladies here, almost equal the amount of men, some even from very comfortable homes.

Seen

standd:



Cococandy...this is the crux of my message. I know that women are hardworking and I also see SOME women around who do NOT have anything doing asides painting up and loitering around bars all day. I did not create the thread to rubbish anyone but truth be told, I feel bad when I see people who get used, abused and maltreated because they have made themselves leeches and they do not know that they can actually work to fend for themselves. My message is if you are a WOMAN and you are JOBLESS and can hardly take care of yourself without relying on others...Then you should get work to do.
I am NOT saying that ALL women are leeches. Maybe I did not pass the message across well but I sincerely hope that some will actually get something doing to better themselves.

standd:


IMO, a woman's independence is mental, financial, emotional and cuts across every sphere. But I saw a lot of things before I created this thread and I know that the women who are worst hit in terms of physical and emotional abuse are those who don't have a kobo to their names.

@bold, noted.

Funny enough, not all (wo)men think an ideal woman should earn; we have tons of housewives and the likes.

That's why I said it was multifaceted with that rude poster I quoted getting a glimpse of it.

I agree a woman should be independent or interdependent and be able to bring bread to the table...

More importantly, a woman should get a man that agrees with her definition of ideal; if my husband's definition of ideal was sitting at home playing housewife, I would definitely be frustrated...

If my definition of ideal is sitting at home and my hubby's ideal is a working wife, he would surely be frustrated.

At the end, each one of us know what is ideal to us and pursue after it.