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Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by motherlode: 9:27am On Jan 15, 2015
Seun:
Tactfully let him know that you think the demands are outrageous and you're interested in helping but only if he wants you to help. If he requests your help, help, and make sure that you never ever mention it during any future quarrel with him. This is extremely important.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Melahou(m): 9:28am On Jan 15, 2015
Timbuktou:
I would strongly advise that man to wait till he can afford the bride price. Allowing for her input is a major recipe for disaster, better to be safe than sorry

if you understand the kind of woman you intend getting married to you dont even need to ask
before she assist you willingly...especially if she has the MONEY

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Odunharry(m): 9:28am On Jan 15, 2015
Seun:
If that happens then there is a problem of immaturity with both of them already, because they should know that bride price is not actually being paid to buy the bride. That it's just a way for the wife's extended family to extract money from the unfortunate bridegroom's family.
1000like.....God bless u
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 9:28am On Jan 15, 2015
Well, it's wrong for a woman to pay the bride price on behalf of her fiance. But it's ok for her to fund an elaborate wedding, if the guy can't afford it. Men don't seem to show off with wedding ceremonies, unlike women. The ladies seem to want their wedding to match or out-match the wedding of other married friends.

In summary, the man should pay the price, while the woman can decide to support him financially in having an elaborate wedding!
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by adanny01(m): 9:29am On Jan 15, 2015
My tradition demands that the groom is expected to buy assorted boxes of wrappers, shoes and bags etc, this may be the best area to assist if at all your tradition demands the same. My wife helped me buy some of the wrappers from the list likewise my sisters, mum and cousin sisters. Unfortunately for me and my wife, after our wedding the whole boxes were stolen at our house by arm robbers. It was a fortune lost. All those Jugde, Super wax, Hollandis, shedda materials lost.cry

The main bride price should be left to him as a matter of pride.

2 Likes

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by coldHeat: 9:29am On Jan 15, 2015
mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

such a statement can only be made by children.

shikena!
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Rhozabeth(m): 9:30am On Jan 15, 2015
No! Only desperate women do that!
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by CCsurplus007(m): 9:31am On Jan 15, 2015
mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

your post nails it. you cant eat your cake and have it
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by uchennn: 9:31am On Jan 15, 2015
Seun:
Tactfully let him know that you think the demands are outrageous and you're interested in helping but only if he wants you to help. If he requests your help, help, and make sure that you never ever mention it during any future quarrel with him. This is extremely important.
Also, the guy should pay her back- may be with some interest - when he's buoyant. This will save him from any future embarrassment. Remember, her money is still your money. *winks* wink
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by machi25(f): 9:32am On Jan 15, 2015
listenersky:
Pls no matter how nice the Lady might be,pls dont let her pay her own bride price,Because bride price is symbolic.You can only tell her to talk with her people if they can reduce the bride price for you.I know your bride must be an ibo chick,We all know that Ibo parents demand a lot from their future inlaw,so just like I advised a friend of mine,Impregnate the girl as soon as possible and see if they wont reduce the bride price.infact they will even beg you to come and take her for free.Do this and you will thank me later.Dont waste time o.
that is rather unfair,if u love her,u would rather suffer to pay the money than do that.

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by zeb04(f): 9:33am On Jan 15, 2015
Big NO
Better you work on reducing the list of items to buy instead of giving him money

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 9:33am On Jan 15, 2015
all this included to my prayer point this year

A Lady that we both build a substainable relationship
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by crazyinlove: 9:33am On Jan 15, 2015
BreezyRita:
I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??

I supported my husband during our traditional marriage but I made sure the bride price and all the traditional rites, he paid for them with his money. I don't see anything wrong with a woman assisting the husband but please it will wise if you allow him to pay the bride price with his money. That shows how responsible he is and how he will value you in the future.
So my advice, allow the guy to pay the bride price and handle everything in the list. If you want to assist him, you can take care of any of the other expenses.
Biko, you shouldn't pay your bride price yourself.

3 Likes

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by ArabianPrince: 9:34am On Jan 15, 2015
Extortionary Bride Price. If the family of the lady are not considerate enough, then the guy should postpone till he can afford or quit the union.

Afterall marriage is not by force. cool

No quoting please.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by zigger(m): 9:34am On Jan 15, 2015
A man shud neva I repeat NEVER allow d woman contribute shishi for the bride price, she can help out in oda areas
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by smudge2079(m): 9:35am On Jan 15, 2015
Her choice, don't let people tell u what to do.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by motherlode: 9:35am On Jan 15, 2015
I think it isn't right! A man should be capable to pay the bride price but the potential wife can help in other expenses except the bride price!
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by eph12(m): 9:36am On Jan 15, 2015
mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.
When insults are being thrown around in marriages, no matter what the content of the insult is, the marriage is bound to fail.

Back to topic, it shouldn't be a problem. That means that if peradventure the lady gets to pay a year house rent for her family due to one thing or the other she would also use it to insult the man. Even buying of food stuffs or paying kids school fees

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Lexusgs430: 9:36am On Jan 15, 2015
If she doesn't, she remains unmarried !!!!
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by freecocoa(f): 9:37am On Jan 15, 2015
Instead of giving him money for things on a list, get your family to reduce the unnecessary demands or you pay for them yourself.

He should pay the pride price.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by YomaA(m): 9:45am On Jan 15, 2015
She must be from imo state,maybe even mbaise.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 9:50am On Jan 15, 2015
Akranez:


Haba.. All these epistle on top small question.. Cheii..

Borrow to pay bride price..
Diaris godu o..

that statement was meant to be conditional joor. If @all he has to borrow - his family/friends are better options.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by chubbygal(f): 9:51am On Jan 15, 2015
Maturity must be involved

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 9:52am On Jan 15, 2015
Kachisbarbie:


that statement was meant to be conditional joor. If @all he has to borrow - his family/friends are better options.

Ehen.. Okay o
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by johnsonjosbles(m): 9:52am On Jan 15, 2015
mutter:
A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.
the best coment I ever read on nairaland! Balance of equation, believe me, give. It just 1yr, report back to confirm this coment I qout.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by richfaxy: 9:56am On Jan 15, 2015
She shouldnt pay. Let him pay by himself because sometime in future, the woman can directly or indirectly use it to insult the man or the man may feel she was so desperate that she had to help him pay for her bride price.

If he cant pay all now, base on understanding between the bride's family, he could pay later. I met a man last week who told me he hadnt paid his wife's bride price ( after 8 years of marriage and 3 sons). He told the girl's family that he will pay in future and they accepted.

The lady can assist with anything on the list since she is capable, but the man must pay for the the bride price himself.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by opribo(m): 10:04am On Jan 15, 2015
NEVER, it is never done why should a lady support a man in paying her own bride price then why is he a man. Any man that allows that is not man enough and is not ready for marriage, no lady worth her mettle should accept that from any man and if you do be sure that the consequences that follow will be on the lady's head.

If you cherish someone work hard for it and go for it, no man that is a true man can ever condescend so low and bury his pride as to ask a woman he want to marry to pay part of her own bride price. If you dont have the complete money be a man walk up to her parents and negotiate your way out thats it. The best the lady can do for you is mount pressure on the parents that she is truly in love with the man to let them consider and not for her to support a man in paying her own bride price. Its forbidden.

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Chazzyboy: 10:05am On Jan 15, 2015
BreezyRita:
I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??

u got help him cos both of u are one
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by ericessien24: 10:06am On Jan 15, 2015
it's better for the girl to tell her family to reduce the expenses otherwise some guys will cancel the wedding and look for someone he can marry not buying.

1 Like

Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by NobleG1(m): 10:07am On Jan 15, 2015
BreezyRita:
I'm not sure where to post this. Mods help me out please

She's about to be married. The marriage requirements or 'lists' have been given to the husband to-be. Of course, he must have prepared for this. But the list is somewhat exorbitant and paying all these things will mean a less posh wedding........

My question: Should a woman who's financially stable assist her to-be with money for payment of the bride price or completion of the rites??

Is it advisable??


Why not?! Is she not also involve in the marraige? Or is the man marrying himself?
Only a greedy and selfish woman would not contribute.
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 10:10am On Jan 15, 2015
Seun:
Tactfully let him know that you think the demands are outrageous and you're interested in helping but only if he wants you to help. If he requests your help, help, and make sure that you never ever mention it during any future quarrel with him. This is extremely important.
Good advice. But before then the man should by his current status (financial and behavioral) be able and willing to take more than 80% of expected cost of living (moderate at least) after marriage.

Moral and financial commitment to marriage is more important to who takes the responsibility of wedding (not marriage) cost. More importantly, a responsible man at least will struggle to pay the cost of BRIDE PRICE among other items in the BRIDE LIST. Ladies should also not presume this quality before accepting and preparing to marry a man but be DOUBLE if not TRIPPLE sure of this.

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