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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? (30828 Views)
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Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by safarigirl(f): 12:51pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
ttmacoy:bride price is nevessary. It's a tradition older than most countries in the world. It has not killed anyone, it's very significant....if you can't afford it, no be by force to marry. Scrapping it is totally out of the question, it's a core part of tradition, not some flimsy angle |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 12:52pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Uh... |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by cococandy(f): 12:56pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
ttmacoy:i concur 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by pickabeau1: 12:59pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
safarigirl: as a professed feminist, i will have expected you to be aghast at a tradition that values females and makes them a booty or prize to be haggled over by men 3 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by ogawisdom(m): 12:59pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
It is a no no if he can't pay ur bride price then he is nt man enough to marry u. By d way bride price is nt expensive nw unless u r frm mbaise in imo state It is sooo impt dt d money used is his no matter hw small bc there r spiritual effects to dt 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by bosun11(m): 1:01pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
i cant allow this in my opinion, it takes a woman with a heart of gold not to mention sth like that in a future misunderstandn.If i cant afford it, then the marriage has to wait...its as simple as that |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by DIVFAVOR(m): 1:04pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
sapien: Point of correction, mention the states and villages you know in South east because not all SouthEast pays such high amount.... Do your checking b4 making public statement... am sure in your place you give out you girls for free..... |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by LadyAmaka(f): 1:24pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
I can't assist in money for bride price and the traditional marriage rites for the men in my clan(it has a spiritual implication) but I can assist in other things like entertainment and clothing. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by DonaldGenes(m): 1:30pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
BreezyRita: Please, let her help her husband to be.nothing wrong with it |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by awa(m): 1:40pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
@Poster, Something might be wrong with this idea. The mere statement of posh wedding tells me that both parties might have some fake element somewhere. I totally will disagree about giving any support in this case. Let the man handle his call if he wants to retain some respect... |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 1:48pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
BigVeinyDick:Not every rich home has real enjoyment... u need to be there to pity the woman. Some will be average...some poor anyway. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Forwetinnah: 1:49pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
For what?? If she does that then she should be ready to fend for the home after marriage. She better not start what she can't finish |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by macdelene(m): 1:49pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
;Dif it is ok for the bride to assist the groom and there are misunderstanding in future which leads to divoce, who will return the bride price? |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 1:51pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
pickabeau1:U dey mind them...confusionists. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Gemc3(f): 1:51pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Bride price is different from the "List" o. I don't think there is anything wrong with a financially stable lady contributing. On code sha o. She shouldn't let her family know. Plus, It will work out fine if the couple understand each other. if not, the girl will make that man miserable for the rest of his life. The man should pay the bride price tho. (I don't think it is expensive sha) But as for the requirements/list, the lady can assist or: 1. Talk with her ppl to adjust it to a reasonable amount. 2. She can tell her hubby to be to tell them that he is no longer interested in marrying her that the bill is tooo much Atleast 7 out of 10 families may reconsider unless they don't mean well for her. I have heard one story like that. They gave this guy the "list" and he almost had a heart attack. He was OK financially but these ppl wanted to scatter his budget and render him bankrupt! He showed his wifey the list and told her his concerns. ''If I spend this much on the marriage ceremony, wetin go remain for the marriage in itself?'' The wifey, knowing how her ppl were told him to tell them he was no longer interested. He was skeptical that they would just take him as an unserious suitor and look for a "bigger fish" for her. She encouraged him and asked him not to worry that she knew the kind of ppl they were.. One day, teh guy went to meet the in laws to re negotiate and one of the ''ogos'' (in law) started talking of how "they'' had trained their daughter to so so and so level and this n that. . . . The guy come vex. In ibo, he told them he was no longer interested and he would be going back with his ppl with immediate effect. See village men na. ''Ogo bia nu hian.. . . . Bia biko. Eweniwe."lol. Then begin beg the man for ibo. ''Don't go now, in law. . is that how u get angry? no now. come. Please come let us discuss. . . Bottom line, the items on the list were reduced and they had a wonderful marriage ceremony and have a wonderful marriage today. Disclaimer: Abeg no go try number 2 because one ''nairalander'' (moi) told you one "Nollywood movie" o. . .You are entirely on your own and doing it is at your own risk. Ejorr o. To be fore warned is to be fore armed. Ehen. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 1:52pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Forwetinnah:How do u know a man who paid that, is? Pple who borrow nko? |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 1:58pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Gemc3:You are right. The real price is not more than N3K while the addons are negotiated. In my village, some ladies ask for pregnancy to confirm u and that reduces the goddamn list. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Gemc3(f): 1:59pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
ferdimako: Exactly. . . But some families gan. . .they have BIG EYES. Scaring men from marriage. lol |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 2:01pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Gemc3:Pregnancy tames them and whittles down the sth. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Gemc3(f): 2:02pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
ferdimako: hahahahaa |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by redsun(m): 2:09pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
The whole thing sounds like a self inflicted bondage. Why do have to do something you can't afford? Must you have a lavish wedding or must you pay a bride price to be with who you love? Africans needs mental state innovations to free themselves from inherent mental slavery and static culture. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by BigVeinyDick: 2:14pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
ferdimako:would you let your sister marry a guy not capable enough to finance a marriage? |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 2:29pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
BigVeinyDick:Yes....not capable to fund a ceremony for idle mouths. Do u want your sister to elope or be a single mum? |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by pickabeau1: 2:29pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
ferdimako:Na so..lol |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Nobody: 2:44pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
What a shame, we hold on to things that helps no one. Instead of a couple worrying about how to start a life, rent, bills, etc the main concern is money to impress others. As a wife I would not let anyone exploit my husband so much so that he needs to start looking for money to pay bride price. Later we will be shouting womens right when we will fold our hands and watch men we are supposed to build with be exploited 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by ttmacoy: 2:53pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
What is the necessity? So if you cannot afford bride price don't marry because reason for marriage is bride price? I'm sorry but I don't believe in doing things simply because it is tradition or because that's how we have always done. Our forefathers did these things then for reasons, and many of these reasons are no longer valid especially with education and Christianity and we being more informed so requesting bride price simply for tradition doesn't cut it. Give me a sound simple logical reason for it. I want to believe we are a lot more educated and informed than our forefathers so I see no reason why we cannot make make logical decisions that works now. Remember that the only thing constant is change. safarigirl: |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by koolg: 3:25pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
If that man can't pay bride price, how does he plan sponsoring the wedding? Must it be the bride price that the woman should assist him with? she can contribute to the wedding and make it a joint effort, if she doesn't want to contribute then make do with the little that the man has, afterall it's ladies that like their weddings to be extravagant |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by manny4life(m): 3:34pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
BreezyRita: A bride price is totally different from a list o... |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by ATinaC(f): 3:59pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
A lady should not help in paying her bride price. D only help she can render is helping to talk to her ppl to reduce things for her fiancé. But if its in wedding, she can help out. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by CHISOMPHILIP(m): 4:03pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
To me...I dnt really tnk its a big deal if de lady helps out in funding de requirements..like de one I saw yesterday wia I went to do a printing work.To my greatest surprise,a little gal brought some paper dat she needed it To be printed.At de headin was REQUITEMENT FOR BRIDE PRICE. De paper was like 5 pages...U see drink1 drink2 and drink3. I guess de villagers are planing on a drnkin competition dat day |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by victorD3: 4:59pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Nothing is ever right when it comes to a woman spending her own money. |
Re: Should A Woman Help Her Fiancé To Pay Her Bride Price? by Enifloxy(m): 5:03pm On Jan 15, 2015 |
Seun:i concur |
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