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Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 7:34pm On Apr 04, 2015
Ewuro4:


undecided heck I'm not gonna blind date a 32year old with my 24yr old daughter. Thats terrifying.

I'm talking from ground up.From Tween ( 11) and up, play dates, family reunion, birthday invites etc. they grow fond of each other from little. I have friends like that, but we call them cousins undecided heck we are not even related.
Those boys will be friend-zoned, mark my words.

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by edwife(f): 7:35pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

And now that you have a say are things better? tongue

Things are worst i must say nevertheless,i won't choose arranged marriage.
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Ewuro4: 7:35pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

Those boys will be friends zoned, Mark my words.

Till then.

So help me God. grin
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by YourCoffin: 7:35pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

I want to believe that you are a product of marriage. Your parents might never have had the bravery to bring you into this world is not for the assurance of this sacred institution(marriage). Have a little respect.

Sacred? What is sacred about marriage?

Well I have some respect for it, that's why we should allow it to die a peaceful death...

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 8:35pm On Apr 04, 2015
edwife:


Things are worst i must say nevertheless,i won't choose arranged marriage.
grin grin grin
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 8:40pm On Apr 04, 2015
cococandy:


At the drop of hat you mean abuse?

Be arranging your marriage and advocating enduring spousal abuse. As long as it favors you.
Your cup of tea bro.
Your predilection for making asumptions is legendary.
Carry on.

5 Likes

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Nobody: 8:42pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

Hha. OK o am waiting.
Obowunmi come and hear o.
This might be interesting.
Heheheheee cheesy cheesy
Why r u calling ur friend na cheesy


The average african man or let me say naija man has been indoctrinated that it's their responsibility to take care of women.

So most times during courtship,u see them trying their possible best to perform the role meant for a husband as a boyfriend/fiancée.

Now,this has made our gals to think it's the norm hence the focus on d material things and not the person.
And our guys believe that they r doing the right thing afterall the babe is happy.this pushes them to do more.
When the babe is tired of awufu, she will find the next available man and u will cry wolf but u on the hand is the cause of ur wahala.

I was wooed by all sort of mmen b4 marriage and more than 90% r guilty of this.
U remove the focus on urself and direct it to what u can do which makes the babe to focus on what u can do solely.
By the time u wanna retract, she will see u as cunning man and will run away.

Why not start by being urself.

Ok, check this scenerio.
U met a gal and on ur first date u r taking her to cedi plaza( I don't know where to use in lagos). U can't just walk into cedi plaza and come out empty handed.
Small porpcorn alone from silverbird is not less than 5 hundred.
And u wanna feel high. Wrong signal.m tomorrow,she willl expect more than cedi plaza.

Of course in ur jeep. U make sure u wear ur best attire and change ur swag.

So what do u expect from the babe?

When u take her back, u dip ur hand in ur wallet and give her some wands saying'babe manage this'
So tell me again,what signal r u giving?
Of course she will stay hooked even if she don't like u. She go dey manage.

So dear,like I said,u can substitute ur jeep for molue.
Watch her countenance. That is when u will know the real her. Discuss topics on various subjects excluding urself.m
U can chip in one or two things about urself only if she asked. But make it mysterious.
(yes we love to dig deeper)
If u can maintain a dark side, u will know whom u r dealing with.

Of course u can give gifts but not expensive ones. And at ur own terms.
The first two months will tell u d kind of gal u r dealing with.
Bombard her with questions about her future and aspirations and encourage her.
Don't be too machoistic.

U can be playful still be the man and in control.
And also don't impose sexx.

One step at a time.
So many things to say but I think I will stop here.

Erm, I remembered something. Don't impose ur will. A huge turn off.

I found out u love argument so much. A huge turn off especially to the non talking types.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by EZEIGBO1OFIMO: 9:04pm On Apr 04, 2015
Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!
in a fōol's quest to sound intelligent, you ended up sounding irrevocably stūpid; 5minsmadness started a discussion on how to mollify and assuage the african marriage institution, and the best you could do is to start screaming MEN!!!; my advice, grow some sense, if you can't grow then buy some sense, if you can't buy, then download some gademm sense.
EZEIGBO

13 Likes

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by bukatyne(f): 9:18pm On Apr 04, 2015
cococandy:
Love based marriage over arranged marriage for me anyday

True that

Will add that genuine love anyways

Not Ife nitori (conditional love) abi Ife gbigbona (hot love) grin

Ife sibesibe (unconditional love 1 Cor 13 type)

And remember to love your neighbor (spouse) as yourself.
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by wierdpsycho: 9:29pm On Apr 04, 2015
bukatyne:


True that

Will add that genuine love anyways

Not Ife nitori (conditional love) abi Ife gbigbona (hot love) grin

Ife sibesibe (unconditional love 1 Cor 13 type)

And remember to love your neighbor (spouse) as yourself.
the human civilization will end itself, after destroying our only means of continuity(marriage) we will then destroy other fabrics of the society.
quoting george soros [Alchemy of Finance] "Everything bound in the universe undergoes a self invigorating BOOM.and BUST cycle altering every balance in the chase of a never ending equilibrium".
The marriage institution is in it's BUST cycle after BOOMING for millenias, unfortunately another BOOM "May" never come.

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by bukatyne(f): 9:34pm On Apr 04, 2015
wierdpsycho:

the human civilization will end itself, after destroying our only means of continuity(marriage) we will then destroy other fabrics of the society.
quoting george soros [Alchemy of Finance] "Everything bound in the universe undergoes a self invigorating BOOM.and BUST cycle altering every balance in the chase of a never ending equilibrium".
The marriage institution is in it's BUST cycle after BOOMING for millenias, unfortunately another BOOM "May" never come.

Me no understand English o grin

I believe people will keep get married irrespective of What others feel.

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Nobody: 9:37pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness,

Are you heartbroken? grin

2 Likes

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by wierdpsycho: 9:38pm On Apr 04, 2015
bukatyne:


Me no understand English o grin

I believe people will keep get married irrespective of What others feel.
New generation teenagers do not see the need for marriage; church sanity & attendance is dwindling as MOG are only intetested in Gulf stream jets; Babymama/papa seems cool; the muslim arab world is caught in multiple civil wars; third and fourth wave [extremist] feminists are on the loose; WHO WILL THEN MARRY WHO?; 20-30 yrs from Now Marriage will only be seen in museums and internet archives as relics of a fallen civilisation.

6 Likes

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 9:49pm On Apr 04, 2015
moca:

Heheheheee cheesy cheesy
Why r u calling ur friend na cheesy


The average African man or let me say naija man has been indoctrinated that it's their responsibility to take care of women.
True.

So most times during courtship,u see them trying their possible best to perform the role meant for a husband as a boyfriend/fiancée.
This is also true.

Now,this has made our gals to think it's the norm hence the focus on d material things and not the person.
And our guys believe that they r doing the right thing afterall the babe is happy.this pushes them to do more.
When the babe is tired of awufu, she will find the next available man and u will cry wolf but u on the hand is the cause of ur wahala.
oookay, how?

I was wooed by all sorts of men b4 marriage and more than 90% r guilty of this.
guilty? as in its a bad thing?
U remove the focus on urself and direct it to what u can do which makes the babe to focus on what u can do solely.
By the time u wanna retract, she will see u as cunning man and will run away.
WTF, why

Why not start by being urself.
ok

Ok, check this scenerio.
U met a gal and on ur first date u r taking her to cedi plaza( I don't know where to use in lagos). U can't just walk into cedi plaza and come out empty handed.
Small porpcorn alone from silverbird is not less than 5 hundred.
And u wanna feel high. Wrong signal.m tomorrow,she willl expect more than cedi plaza.

Of course in ur jeep. U make sure u wear ur best attire and change ur swag.

So what do u expect from the babe?
I expect her to be impressed! I'm showing her I gats the swag, ya get? If I am all chequered long sleeve and chatting with her in her house all the time, she'll b the first to say I'm stingy.

When u take her back, u dip ur hand in ur wallet and give her some wands saying'babe manage this'
So tell me again,what signal r u giving?
Of course she will stay hooked even if she don't like u. She go dey manage
.
ok this part i figured out already. this part i have stopped doing. you're right.

So dear,like I said,u can substitute ur jeep for molue.
grin

Watch her countenance. That is when u will know the real her. Discuss topics on various subjects excluding urself.m
U can chip in one or two things about urself only if she asked. But make it mysterious.
(yes we love to dig deeper)
If u can maintain a dark side, u will know whom u r dealing with.
ok.

Of course u can give gifts but not expensive ones. And at ur own terms.
The first two months will tell u d kind of gal u r dealing with.
Bombard her with questions about her future and aspirations and encourage her.
Don't be too machoistic.
ok.
U can be playful still be the man and in control.
please how do i do this? cos i have been accused of taking ladies too seriously, whatever that means.
And also don't impose sexx.
**coughs***

One step at a time.
So many things to say but I think I will stop here.
thanks muchley.

Erm, I remembered something. Don't impose ur will. A huge turn off.
So how do i be the man on top without imposing my will?

I found out u love argument so much. A huge turn off especially to the non talking types.
Moi? Love arguments? No o. I just don't like those uptight feminist folk that feel the world revolves around them because they have a vagina. no offence to you of course ma'm.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by pickabeau1: 9:56pm On Apr 04, 2015
Moca


What do u mean by don't impose ur will
Even when u let girls have free hand they still dump you for someone who is tough

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 10:04pm On Apr 04, 2015
bukatyne:


True that

Will add that genuine love anyways

Not Ife nitori (conditional love) abi Ife gbigbona (hot love) grin

Ife sibesibe (unconditional love 1 Cor 13 type)

And remember to love your neighbor (spouse) as yourself.
but nobody has Ife sibesibe

1. the man cheats ---divorce
2. the man hits you once ---divorce
3. the man calls you fat ---divorce
4 the man doesnt make you happy anymore ---divorce
5. the man carries you abroad and gets a job for you and you no longer see the man as being on your level ---divorce.
6. all men are evil----divorce

there's nothing unconditional about that.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Nobody: 10:12pm On Apr 04, 2015
pickabeau1:

Moca


What do u mean by don't impose ur will
Even when u let girls have free hand they still dump you for someone who is tough
I really don't know how to explain this but let me give u an example.

A guy came for my hand in marriage immediately after my high school.
These r what he told me he want me to do.
That I should go and learn how to sow.
Don't ever learn hair dressing cos they gossip too much.
And the last. U will not further ur education cos graduates r wild and disobedient cheesy

In all these,he didn't allow me to talk.
Don't know if I want to learn how to sow.

That's imposing ur will.

U demand for things to be done ur way or no way at all.

2 Likes

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by bukatyne(f): 10:15pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

but nobody has Ife sibesibe

1. the man cheats ---divorce
2. the man hits you once ---divorce
3. the man calls you fat ---divorce
4 the man doesnt make you happy anymore ---divorce
5. the man carries you abroad and gets a job for you and you no longer see the man as being on your level ---divorce.
6. all men are evil----divorce

there's nothing unconditional about that.

Look at the last line of my post.

There are about two threads on husbands who want to divorce their cheating wives who confessed

Start your ministry there cheesy

Besides points 3 to 6 are moot

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 10:18pm On Apr 04, 2015
FrancisTony:
5minsmadness,

Are you heartbroken? grin
she was SO beautiful**sobs*** cry cry cry

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 10:26pm On Apr 04, 2015
moca:

I really don't know how to explain this but let me give u an example.

A guy came for my hand in marriage immediately after my high school.
These r what he told me he want me to do.
That I should go and learn how to sow.
Don't ever learn hair dressing cos they gossip too much.
And the last. U will not further ur education cos graduates r wild and disobedient cheesy

In all these,he didn't allow me to talk.
Don't know if I want to learn how to sow.

That's imposing ur will.

U demand for things to be done ur way or no way at all.
was he an igbo trader? grin
[size=4pt]although bolded is kinda true[/size]

c'mon guys dont do shit like that anymore.
do they?

2 Likes

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 10:33pm On Apr 04, 2015
bukatyne:


Look at the last line of my post.

There are about two threads on husbands who want to divorce their cheating wives who confessed

Start your ministry there cheesy

Besides points 3 to 6 are moot

saw the last line, so? i'd want the one i love to forgive me if i made a mistake. i'd do the same for her.

and so those husbands represent all men?

no thanks, not interesting.

are they? I remember reading somewhere here where someone advocated that if you were unhappy with the marriage for any reason, you should walk away. she is viewing this thread now cheesy

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by cococandy(f): 10:35pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

Your predilection for making asumptions is legendary.
Carry on.

Only following your example.

Happy Easter smiley
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Nobody: 10:47pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

was he an igbo trader? grin
[size=4pt]although bolded is kinda true[/size]

c'mon guys dont do shit like that anymore.
do they?
cheesy
One hell of a man.
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 10:48pm On Apr 04, 2015
cococandy:


Only following your example.

Happy Easter smiley
no you are not grin
happy easter
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by pickabeau1: 10:57pm On Apr 04, 2015
moca:

I really don't know how to explain this but let me give u an example.

A guy came for my hand in marriage immediately after my high school.
These r what he told me he want me to do.
That I should go and learn how to sow.
Don't ever learn hair dressing cos they gossip too much.
And the last. U will not further ur education cos graduates r wild and disobedient cheesy

In all these,he didn't allow me to talk.
Don't know if I want to learn how to sow.

That's imposing ur will.

U demand for things to be done ur way or no way at all.

Its clear
Not engaging but commanding....
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by bukatyne(f): 10:58pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

saw the last line, so? i'd want the one i love to forgive me if i made a mistake. i'd do the same for her.

and so those husbands represent all men?

no thanks, not interesting.

are they? I remember reading somewhere here where someone advocated that if you were unhappy with the marriage for any reason, you should walk away. she is viewing this thread now cheesy

It seems this post was not intended for me

I don't know the correlation between my posts and all men wahala
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Nobody: 11:04pm On Apr 04, 2015
cococandy:
Love based marriage over arranged marriage for me anyday

*sigh*

"Yet what is love? I pray thee say.
It is a yea, it is a nay,
A pretty kind of sporting fray;
It is a thing will soon away;
Then take the vantage while you may:
And this is love, as I hear say."

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by Nobody: 11:05pm On Apr 04, 2015
5minsmadness:

True.

This is also true.


oookay, how?


guilty? as in its a bad thing?

WTF, why


ok


I expect her to be impressed! I'm showing her I gats the swag, ya get? If I am all chequered long sleeve and chatting with her in her house all the time, she'll b the first to say I'm stingy.

.
ok this part i figured out already. this part i have stopped doing. you're right.


grin


ok.


ok.

please how do i do this? cos i have been accused of taking ladies too seriously, whatever that means.

**coughs***


thanks muchley.


So how do i be the man on top without imposing my will?


Moi? Love arguments? No o. I just don't like those uptight feminist folk that feel the world revolves around them because they have a vagina. no offence to you of course ma'm.

I didn't see this.
Posts like this scares the hell out of me.
It gets me tired so easily.

I just answered pikabeau a part of ur question.
Believe me, if I can be put off by display of affluence,that means so many gals can do that equally.
We gals sit down and analyse our men.
Gals love guys who don't substitute caring with doo.
That's why sometimes they will collect ur doo and give to d taiwos.

Swag sometimes means boasting.
A guy told me that he can't imagine buying roadside fuel for his new car. Do I know how much he bought it?
Swag and boasting. A turn off.
One said our universities r rubbish(cos he schooled and is working in abroad).
I asked him what he studied,lo and behold we studied the same thing.
Boasting.
Hope u get my gist.
And yes, using money to buy love is not good.

Of all the men that came my way, my hubby was the one that from day one showed me himself as he really is.
So I started looking for traits and compatibility.
I knew more of him as time goes on.
Some things still after engagement and wedding. Bc I asked.

1 Like

Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by 5minsmadness: 11:10pm On Apr 04, 2015
bukatyne:


It seems this post was not intended for me

I don't know the correlation between my posts and all men wahala
no wahala
happy easter.
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by cococandy(f): 12:15am On Apr 05, 2015
You refused to teach me Yoruba now you're just showing offangry

grin
bukatyne:


True that

Will add that genuine love anyways

Not Ife nitori (conditional love) abi Ife gbigbona (hot love) grin

Ife sibesibe (unconditional love 1 Cor 13 type)

And remember to love your neighbor (spouse) as yourself.
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by bukatyne(f): 12:16am On Apr 05, 2015
5minsmadness:

no wahala
happy easter.

Same to you
Enjoy yourself.
Re: Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. by bukatyne(f): 12:18am On Apr 05, 2015
cococandy:
You refused to teach me Yoruba now you're just showing offangry

grin

Sorry
That's why I am trying small small

1 Like

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