Messilistic:
Jst hold on. The right scholars on issues like dis will soob b here

Timbuktuo:
Steeze, congratulations. Touch your head three times and thank whatever force is protecting you. Don't know if I told you this on your other thread but, there's no happiness to be gained from that liaison. None, whatsoever. You did good by removing yourself from that situation and now that you've fallen into some luck now that you have an even better paying job than the carrot your MIL detained you with.
Firstly, I perfectly and totally understand that you want to be 'responsible'. My advice, not to this girl and her mother, you'll bite your fingers for eternity as they'll victimise and exploit your good intentions. You have no responsibility towards your baby mama and you should stop buying anything for her. She's no longer your problem, your responsibility is to your child and to your child alone. Wash any feelings of love you think you harbour for your baby mama, it will only be used against you. Get another puscy to fvck for fvck's sake. The potential for you getting laid is limitless ffs. Screw some other broad to get this one out of your system.
Now to your child, keeping him from you is illegal and could land them in jail : Now, go to the [b]Child Welfare Office in your Local Government Secretariat/Magistrate Court nearest to you to lodge a complaint that you're being denied access to your child. Your baby mama will be invited, you'll be charged for the cost of locating her and you guys will agree to the terms by which you'll be granted this access officially; this includes, but isn't limited to, a monthly maintenance fee of the child of about 5k and above. This is Nigeria and you will have your child when he's old enough, about 7 years, if you're so inclined, the idea is to be consistent in paying this monthly maintenance.
In the meantime Ushe, face your work and personal development. Your greatest victory in this battle is proving that you can be a worthy and able father and a much improved individual.
Wish you good luck man. Be strong.

udz:
keep ur head down and focus on ur work. if u get horn.y get a girl. The right will come to charge for ur son.

U are still my man.

steeze:


Thanks bro. I don't even want to worry about my son for now. Just want to focus on myself as an individual. In time he will come to know the truth. If not, too bad. But right now I do not even want to be around any of them at all or anymore sef. Enough is enough. The girl is slowly turning into her mother without even recognizing it.

I also do not feel guilty anymore and that's a good thing. I actually feel exonerated. And the love matter is not a problem for me, just that I intend to give women in general a wide berth from now on. Thanks once again.

steeze:


Thanks bro. I don't even want to worry about my son for now. Just want to focus on myself as an individual. In time he will come to know the truth. If not, too bad. But right now I do not even want to be around any of them at all or anymore sef. Enough is enough. The girl is slowly turning into her mother without even recognizing it.

I also do not feel guilty anymore and that's a good thing. I actually feel exonerated. And the love matter is not a problem for me, just that I intend to give women in general a wide be
rth from now on. Thanks once again.

Timbuktuo:


You're welcome. However, I'd ask you to reconsider deserting your son without looking back, though. Think about it deeply. I think he deserves to be loved and guided by his father. From the way you describe the guy living with your baby mama now, he doesn't sound like the sort of person you'd like to influence your child's mind.

Well, that's a start. No need to give them a wide berth. Just treat them accordingly. Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent

steeze:


I actually think the guy may have fallen in love with her, or maybe it's my mind playing tricks on me. In any case, that some-thing will still happen between them from the looks of things.

2goodbobo:
FOUR ADVICE TOP FOLLOW!

1. Don't waste your time trying to get back to a woman that is living with another Man.
God just delivered you from a terrible woman. Imagine what you would have been going
through had you married her.

2. Make sure you contribute your own quota towards the upbringing of the baby because
when this matter eventually gets to court, The court will want to know if you have been
performing your duty as a Father of the child. Don't neglect the baby in anyway and also
keep records(bank tellers) etc of any financial assistance you render to the child for future
sake because it will be handy to you in court eventually.

3. Concentrate on your work and build your career for now.

4. Any heart break is a potential step to your real wife God has ordained for you.
So try and let her go because any woman that can not stand up for her man
and defend him, aint worthy to be his wife.

Timbuktuo:


That shouldn't be an issue for you to deal with. You brought a child to this world, be a father to that child. He might come look for you in the future or not, if you abandon him. If he does, you'll want to have a clear conscience that you did all within your power to be there for him despite the obstacles to that fact.

andromida:
Some things you can't come back from but i seriously hope she reconsiders. The way i see it abandoning your 8 months pregnant woman who was begging you to stay while her mother was slapping her is a major crime its hard to take back that kind of man because its when it gets really hot you know the kind of person you are dealing with. It got really hot and you abandoned her and your child to save yourself.

I don't think you can just go charging to get back your child at any point in time what if she had abandoned the child in one uncompleted building and ran away? what if she had aborted the child out of anger so many what ifs. She stayed strong put to bed and is taking care of the child this is being responsible.

If she wants nothing more to do with you you have to move on but before you do give it some time let the dust settle. What you did no be small thing.

steeze:


Thank you so much bro. I've learned my lessons.

steeze:


Yes, as soon as I improve on my financial standing I will do what I can. But the groveling and begging has ended. Don't be surprised if they return any money I send just to prove a point. What happens then?

Timbuktuo:


If you pay through Child Welfare, you pay to them and she gets it from them. You don't give her anything directly, and whatsoever you so is properly documented for future reference. Should you want to claim custody of your child, you can simply do so at the approved age about 7 or 8 years old.

You don't ever have to know where they live sef. If you want the child during school holidays, just make the request and he's yours till school resumes.

steeze:


Thanks bro. I don't even want to worry about my son for now. Just want to focus on myself as an individual. In time he will come to know the truth. If not, too bad.

steeze:


Women are not really my concern anymore. Dem don show me shege...lol

I will wait for the right time, if it ever comes. I also want to thank you udz for being a source of inspiration and support through all this. You sef na my man .

Timbuktuo:


If you pay through Child Welfare, you pay to them and she gets it from them. You don't give her anything directly, and whatsoever you so is properly documented for future reference. Should you want to claim custody of your child, you can simply do so at the approved age about 7 or 8 years old.

You don't ever have to know where they live sef. If you want the child during school holidays, just make the request and he's yours till school resumes.

StPete:
OP you need a smack on your head.
For crying out loud, you’re just giving her every reason to push you away and that’s why she’s acting the way she is. Man-up, don’t be a girl! If she doesn’t want you in her life or the child’s, there is practically nothing you can do.
Move on, get another girl, start your own family. When your baby grows up, he/she’d come out to look for his/her father, then and there you can explain situation of things to her. The more you push and clamour for the child, the more she takes the child away.

redgem:

Lol

ayolight:
Bro. I ve to read tru d former post ti undstnd ur pains. Bro yr decision is rit. but make sure u contribute seriously to d care if d baby. keep a tab on dem Evn if Dey chnge environment. fget abt d moda but not abt d child. do tins dat ll make her crazy. like paying ur child a visit wit wonderful gifts (God ll provide for u), make it clear during yr visits tru ur actions dat u careless abt d mother but ur child. dnt allow her to slip frm ur crow. the future has a beta destiny for u. a friend was once stuck BTW her hubby nd mother she wisely choose her hubby which helps to define d mother boundry. so bros pls dnt fget ur child I beg u in d name of God. u can Evn visit with a lady friend who can act well and tell her to act as a caring girlfriend toward d child. a girl friend who can really get on d nerve of a bitter person. Evn if she dnt allow her to touch her let her show her care nd love wit action nd pricking words. I wish u luck

steeze:


And what I did was so terrible that it cannot be forgiven? At least I came back inspite of everything. What about all I suffered in the hands of the mother just because I was trying to do the right thing, to which she was a witness?

I've come to realise that men and women think differently. So while a man might express horror and disbelief that I actually stayed and endured all that, a woman would insist that I should have stayed and tried harder. In the other thread there were some comments tearing me up and insisting I go back to that job. That I am wasting a golden opportunity.

Tell me honestly, would you have advised your brother to do the same?

steeze:
On my way home I sent her a series of texts which I have copied and pasted below:

Revenge is a dish best served cold. I understand the need to pay someone back in his own coin and hurt someone who has offended u. My apology still stands. If u want to ignore everything that really happened that's fine. I will take all the blame. It's all my fault. Still, there is no sin that is too great to be unforgiven, there is nothing that justifies denying a father the right to see or hold his son, or give him a real family.

It is clear to me that ur family has turned ur heart fully against me, and that is no problem. Family first, I only wished that we would start one of our own just like we always dreamt. All I know is that I've tried and I really wanted us to work. I want to promise you that this is the last time you will ever hear from me, I swear on my grandmother's grave.

You can tell my son that his father is dead, or he abandoned him, or he never really cared, because the way I see it you are already heading in that direction. Or u can tell him that someone else is his real father. Do whatever u want sweetie, let that rest on ur conscience if u have any left. Wish u all the best!