humilitypays:
...and you are proud to say this and even using it to advice someone SMH for you.

Take it or leave it, that your so-called fiance is only saying YES to you now because all the Mr. Rights she has been waiting for have been disappointing her...and not coming forth...so she now saw you as her last option...and believe me, she may hurt you in future because she is accepting you now out of pity, which is dangerous!

You wooed a girl for 4 years and she only said yes to you after 4years and you are happy about it, gosh!

Guys listen: I am not an expert in woman affairs, but I can boldly tell you all that it takes less than 1minute for a girl or lady to know if you are the kind of man she wants or not...and will take from 1 minute - 1 month (at worst), for a lady to tell you yes. Any girl that delays more than this doesn't like you at all...she isn't feeling you at all...she's only struggling to find something to make her like you while waiting for her dream man to come around and if her kind of man shows up, u are gone, but her dream man doesn't show up, she may just consider you whilst being unhappy inside.

So you better screen that your girlfriend abi fiance well to avoid future regrets.

Guys just be falling their hand....if a girl says NO...common guys, move on cheerfully and work hard to be that Mr. Right they all want and you will be the one laughing and making choice.

No man is born ugly! Every man is handsome and unique...the only problem a man has is MONEY!

Lack of money makes a man look ugly and unlovable...once a man has money, he will be confident and bold...and those are what makes up a man's handsomeness and not just 6 packs!

If you like, have 12 packs, if you aren't financially buoyant, then you are ugly in the eyes of women!

Check all the rich guys in the world whom super-gorgeous ladies are dying to have, are they that physically attractive? NO!

E.g.

Kanye West - married to Kim K
Jay Z- married to Beyonce
Snoop Dogg
Our own Adams Oshiomhole, Obasanjo, Chief Mbanefo married to the most beautiful woman in Nigeria...google her, Taiye Taiwo, Mario Baloteli, etc.


Guys work hard and pray...the only challenge you have to becoming that dream guy most ladies daydream about is financial lack...if you are doing business, do it harder and pray for God's favour and reduce the rate at which u chase ladies to avoid distraction and waste of scarce resources.

If you are working, keep upgrading and gathering experience and also find a way to set up a side business.

If you are into handwork, work hard and pray.

I pray this day for God to bless as many hardworking guys working to make it in life because it is so humiliating what most guys face today in the hands of ladies just because they don't have money, its well guys!

....and to the ladies searching for Mr. Right, have u also made yourself Ms Right Or dont u ladies know that Mr. Right is also searching for Ms Right

Have you ladies ever asked yourselves this question: since i want a male gold, am I a female diamond to attract that gold i want

If you are aluminium and u are busy searching for diamond, dont u think u are hurting yourself and may end up warming the beds of these your dream men who will never commit to u since u arent up to what they themselves want?


Pls ladies always access yourself and know if u are worth the kind of men u are waiting for to avoid numerous heartbreaks

Shymm3x:


Lmao @ Heidi Klum and muthaphucking Seal.

But Seal has the star power, money, and respect - he should be super romantic, if his tunes were anything to go by. And 'em Ivory queens love them some chocolate. So he made up for whatever he lacks in looks, with other things.

The guy this girl described here can't be compared to muthaphucking Seal with the "kiss from a rose" - kiss of death.

Darn! Chics can be so judgemental - she rejected the guy and nuked his self-esteem.

True , Seal is soft spoken , romantic and has that superstar persona that aspiring broke aśś Russian model long for to break into Hollywood connection . I doubt Heidi will poke him with a long fork if he's a broke aśś?

'sides we don't know if the brother in OP is hopeless romantic too but OP ain't having all that.

These girls ain't loyal bro, it's all bout maneeey !!

proxillin:


[size=16pt]That reminds of me of my ex.

I am now x10 better than the guy she ran to.

SHe feels ashame anytime she sees me.

I am not yet fulfilled in Life, but I thank God for shaming her...God really shamed her...

Those days, my salary could not afford her blackberry. Anytime I am driving by her house, I roll down my side screen, I peep at her and ensure she sees me. I love that feelings...I love the way she hides.hahahahhah... Buga level[/size]

That's the spirit bro...

Hmmmmmmm Critical one stick with the guy if you want to! But change ur mentality about his current situation, You are not his God and the fact that his broke doesn't mean he will b e broke for life!





Cheeeeeers

irishCream:


God is watching, in 3D I guess...lol

What's wrong if I desire someone presentable and financially stable?

So it's only you guys that are supposed to go for the beautiful and educated girls, why the double standard for men in marriage

Are you saying you can cope with a handsome and rich man who does not care or love you?

Are you saying this man has no potentials and in future he will not be rich?

In marriage, all the conditions we desire may not be available in one person, in fact the cases of finding the perfect mr right is like one in hundred. You have to compromise at one point or the other.

You seem not to like this man at all, pls don't marry him out of pity or selfishness, let him go.....

Mintayo:

As in... I read the OP, and I became so so weak... so many ladies are shortsighted!

You blame them?

What 'self insufficiency' & 'keeping up with the joneses' syndrome will cause in this world, a 1M tonne truck fork lift wont be able to haul it.

this is my story dear......

when i met my woman (i've been married close to 9years now) i never had any feelings for her. whenever she comes around and seek my help in her academics ( we were on campus dat time) i will demand for money for my services but my close friend will help her for free. i had other ladies and don't tolerate her but every time i think back i am grateful to GOD to have married her.

i seriously support you consider jaybee3 comments
he doesn't have to be attractive cos attraction does not equal to happines and peace of mind in marriage. also pray about it
thanks

MarvellousGod:
Since you don't love him, please stay clear.. Don't go into marriage out of pity... You have known him for over 2yrs, yet no feeling whatsoever. How sure are you it'll come after marriage?
Hopefully, he'll find someone that will love and appreciate him..



Btw, you call him poor yet still go to him for financial aid.. SMH for you. ..

I just dash u one like to make it 100LIKES.

ManTiger:

I just dash u one like to make it 100LIKES.

... That's the way to go

Now people is this scenario any different from the dreaded friend zone dudes always moan about?

Imagine the pains the dude has to go through having a woman reject him yet still having his attention. That dude is a disgrace still trying to prove himself.

What a clod he is having to put himself through this pain despite the fact she obviously abhors him.

He is basically her girlfriend if he isn't f-ucking her. Let this be a lesson to all these twats on this forum running around and disrespecting themselves because of most of these females on here and out there who offer next to nothing.

Instead of dudes to see the so-called mixed messages as pure rejection, they still find make excuses for the same person flaking on them. Stop desexualizing yourself to look more attractive to them. She should be shaving your back and making you sandwiches. Too many stupid boys/males/whatever out there it's insane.

Smile at their prattle and move away, you've got stuff to do.

Keep waiting for the right man ok....womenand their dreams waiting for prince charming...no go marry until u go enter 39 yrs

2sex:
Like Evina did for her man

https://www.nairaland.com/2147859/babyosisis-marital-advice-new-intended/84#32279325

OP, you can't make anything out of this, na you know oooo

don't mind some of them, they practically have nothing to bring to the union/table but they want it all...

ednut1:
in year 2030 u wud see d guy. hammered and looking fresh and fine. na den u go dey regret

Money gooduu oh Fresh and fine

A brotha was granted a study visa & came here for his post graduate program after a bad breakup, he went home after he acquired his Permanent Residency. Aswear he refused to marry till now, we are begging him but e no go gree

He's all built and fresh compared to his oogly mango eyeballs when he landed years ago

"Hard to get, hard to get, that's how aunty Joy clocked 40".

My candid advice-- don't marry him cause you presently don't love him because he is not rice. Worst stil, he's ugly. Don't go make the guy's life a living hell. He will eventually find someone who love him the way he is.

Ewuro4:

True , Seal is soft spoken , romantic and has that superstar persona that aspiring broke aśś Russian model long to break into Hollywood connection . I doubt Heidi will poke him with a long fork if he's a broke aśś?

'sides we don't know if the brother in OP is hopeless romantic too but OP ain't having all that.

These girls ain't loyal bro, it's all bout maneeey !!

Lol. The real modern day beauty and the beast Bonnie and Clyde - Jay Z and Beyonce lied. Have you seen Salma Hayek's hubby? That's another one.

Anyway, a lot of women are naturally preconditioned to be attracted to status and wealth, that's just the reality. The crazy world that we live in, yet men don't get their just due for always being the ones to work extremely hard to get to a status. However, after getting there, we've to come down and pick a woman below us - something most women won't do. So, basically, I won't blame her too tough - I blame the guy for trying to go for a chic out of his league, and trying to force what isn't there. Attraction (physical and/or material) and connection are the two most important things in relationships. And once whoever you're running after doesn't see both in you, it's better to leave it there and keep it moving. Don't force things. The more you force things, the more you'll keep breaking yourself and getting distracted from more important things.

I wouldn't even advise the chic to settle. She doesn't want him and I doubt she'll ever see anything good in him. So why use the guy cos she can't find someone else - thus systematically destroying him mentally in the process? If I were the guy, I'll just leave her alone and use it as an inspiration/motivation to move to other things. And who falls in love with someone he barely even knows and that keeps rejecting him? They both need help.

vfactor:
29? U still young na!

Ehn

Freemanan:
Gbege....



CONFUSED SEF

Gbege nla

IF U CLOCK 30 HUMMM NO HOPE OOO ...BETER GRAB THIS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY ....WITH TIME U LL START LOVING HIM.....MANA ASIKWANA NA MUSI OOO..BIKO KWA

adahsim07:


Gbege nla

I am the first person you mention...
Welcome to NL

Post your picture let's see how fine you're that a man will be toasting you, and you be doing busy body, and while you're posting picture, also post like three pictures of the handsome men wey your fada don mould keep for house, then and only then I will comment.

Tallesty1:
Like seriously, who is the right man?

I personally don't subscribe to the shitty idea that there exists one particular person that's meant for you...........

I also do not believe in the idea of a wrong person loving you right.

If he dresses like a gay, hangs out with gays and walks like a gay then he's definitely a gay.

If he loves you right then he's the right person. There is no two way about it.

The op thinks he's the wrong person because he isn't rich and handsome.

Is alright.


God is watching.

No doubt! Dats d fact!!!

Am sure she wud've re-consider d guy if after a year of wooing her, she come see d guy in a latest auto-mobile in town.

xoljon:
Everywoman wants a fineman whose probably rich and good in b*d, but who ever gives a f*#k what the fineman wants.

Hmmm.....(Thinking)

You nailed it!

Ewuro4:
Money and Good looks? As in..

I guess we'll be having more marriage 'stories that touch' on NL. Always my pleasure to read them anyway.

evulz...

Those who enter with their eyes open sha.. dem tori dey sweet

Tallesty1:
Chill madam.


If the saying that there is a woman behind every successful man is true then your chances of getting a handsome rich guy is very low.

GBAM!!!

irishCream:
Dear Family I'm in deep shiiit, so confused on what to do right now.

I just turned 29 few days ago and have been out of a serious relationship for over a year now.

Have been waiting patiently for that right man to come along but unfortunately it only the wrong ones that keep coming my way, they just want to have a feel of my sweet body and off they go, no genuine intentions.

Now there's a brother that have been friendzoning for over two years now yet he keep persisting, good a thing I'm not the type that pretends so I told him from day one he asked me out that I'm not interested in him except on friendship level, I told him I don't feel him emotionally but he keep hanging on hoping I change my mind with time, my reasons for rejecting him is cos to me he's not presentable enough and I can't be proud introducing him to my people and again he got no good paid job (why on earth must he be poor and ugly at the same time, what kind of torture is that ). He's just managing in a private firm that pays less than 50k.

But what makes me have a rethink is the character of this my friendzoned brother, he keeps in touch despite my rejecting him, he even offer little financial assistance when I'm in need, when I asked him why he's doing all these to a girl that openly reject him he claims he has faith that I'll consider him one day, sometimes I'm forced to suspect if he has cast a spell on me so another good man won't come my way.

Now he has called to schedule a date tomorrow and I know as usual he wants to remind me that the year is running that I should consider his request since he hope to settle down this year.

Please dear Family advice me accordingly is it advisable I say yes to a man I don't feel a thing for emotionally? Can I ever get to love him? I do hear love grows but I don't believe in such!!!

forget abt hw u feel abt him for nw.focus on d qualities he posses, does he posses d quality of an ideal man? if he posses d quality of an ideal man roll with him.if nt presentable teach him how to dress
with time d feelings will come gradually.I met a girl through Facebook late last year, she was ugly, nt presentable, looking primitive.my initial plan was to lay with her and then dump her.bt her character and attitude caught my heart, I started to take care of her gradually.as am writing to u, she is one of d most beautiful girl In my area nw, men are running after her , am d one scared of loosing her nw.it's 8months of relationship nw and our luv is growing stronger everyday.
anybody is cute and presentable depending on hw they are being taking care of.
50k a month is nt that bad for young couple, most big family u see today started even worst than that.

Ewuro4:
Calling a man ugly and broke , yet still have no integrity to tell him the raw truth is FRAUD... Hian ladies , have some self respect, develop yourself, who says you can't be a breadwinner yourself or there's a manual that said so?

the shallow mentality that marriage will free you from shackles of poverty is the most pauperish believe I've ever heard. All the longthroat attitude won't do you any good but a slap in the end. Good Men don't respect parasitic women.

This was the same way it used to be in the West
they moved on..once women started having jobs and careers

The economy in Niigeria is still the issue

Give it time

bellong:


How deep is the shit? What type of shit is it? Is it atomic or AK47 shit... How does it smell? If it is nice smelling shit, it is a good shit and if not, call the services of shit removal, Yorubas call them "agbepo".



Congratulations on your new age... What values did you add to yourself during this relationship hiatus?



To start with, what is your definition for a right man? What is it in those coming to qualify them as wrong?
I hope you were stingy enough not to let everyone that comes your way to be having a feel of your "sweet body"? Between, picture of the sweet body or .....


Abraham Lincoln and Pa Buhari must be this brother's mentors.....


This is maturity. Defining your relationship from onset. Kudos



Yes, you told him, you didn't have that emotional/butterfly thingy feeling for him but what you didn't tell him is the reason why you weren't having it. You should have told him that you never dreamt of being in a relationship with a broke nigga. Your taste in guys is rich and handsome. You can't be proud of him because he is not looking good despite having a good heart. He has failed in all ramifications of your assessment. You only told the poor brother half truth. This is what is called being economical with the truth.

I must say your real problem lies in this paragraph. Your desired qualities in men are parochial and vanity. You are not looking out for something that can last you for a lifetime. Vain beauty and empty pocket... It may be why "providence" is not yet smiling on you. You lack the desired wisdom and skill to identify a good man outside his look and pocket. Before you misinterprete me, I am not saying you should be watching out for a poor person but if your motivation is money, it is the foundation of failure.

A broke guy today with passion, vision and ambition can never be broke forever. If you lack the Eagle's eyes, you can never see potentials in a gold mine. Diamond, Gold and every precious metal does not come shinning until they pass through fire.

My question is, if you call someone broke, why are you broke yourself? I thought some of you ladies are of the opinion that you are not marrying any guy for his money.



In this, it is this guy that I have pity for. He doesn't know why you don't like him. If he suddenly becomes rich tomorrow, I am sure your love will come so strong for the poor dude... The guy likes you and he thinks he can't get someone better than you. It is why he is hopelessly waiting. When I was very much younger and of no experience, I waited endlessly and hopelessly for a girl like this till heavens borrowed me brain...



He knows you will soon become desperate as you approach that age women loathe with passion. He will remind you that your biological clock is ticking and it s good for you to take the option you have before becoming a prayer point in your church or mosque.



You are asking the wrong question. Nobody can tell you who to say yes to but yourself. You never liked this guy and you still don't like him, it is not reasonable saying yes. Love is not emotion but decision. You have decided not to ever love him and there is no point beating a dead bush. Free him and let him find his wife elsewhere. Saying yes will only make his life miserable if situation does not change when you want it.

I plead with you, free the ugly and broke guy please.

I wish you well in your search for an houseband...

Hahaha.. U really went Analytical on her Poo-post.. It all boils down 2greed nd selfishness. 2an average naija babe, a wrong nd not right Man is d type with a job with meagre Salary. Dat's 1reason she's now 29 nd still searching....

Tallesty1:
Chill madam.


If the saying that there is a woman behind every successful man is true then your chances of getting a handsome rich guy is very low.

Hahaha

That is to say 'Marriage is to be only ENJOYED not ENDURED' mantra is Bullcrap?

Ofcourse the latter arent always the case for celebrities , Politicians & made tycoons like Adenuga & Momoodu et al's wives.

Ayam learning

irishCream:


Yeah I'm working but the pay is token.

Don't term it desperation, have been fine all along it just his good nature and persistence that made me have a rethink, I don't belong to the class that rush into lifetime issues just cos every one else is in it.

babe, @ 29 you would be getting desperate either naturally or by pressure. However, have it in mind that you still have some life to live. Do not worry about what friends or inlaws or people think. When you say, my guy is not presentable, have it in mind that you are also not presentable somewhere. Always give life a chance, everybody has something to offer. My advice is to search urself well and conclude that the guy is not the kind of person you can cohabit with. E.g even and already made cloth, someone made it therefore, it was never ready made. Give him a chance and study him further, you might eventually fall in love. This love of a thing is never 50/50, someone must love more..

Well..., OBJ too is kinda ugly. I'm sorry Baba iyabo. But truth is that, he has ruled this country for about 3 times and he ended up marrying pretty women. U rem Stella Obasanjo? She was one of them.
I'm just saying many women make irreversible mistakes making marriage decisions based on the current looks and finances of the bobo.
I guess u should talk to God and let him guide u. If that's Gods choice for u...u will never regret it. If not, let the brother stay forever in that air conditioned friend zone.

Tallesty1:
Like seriously, who is the right man?

I personally don't subscribe to the shitty idea that there exists one particular person that's meant for you...........

I also do not believe in the idea of a wrong person loving you right.

If he dresses like a gay, hangs out with gays and walks like a gay then he's definitely a gay.

If he loves you right then he's the right person. There is no two way about it.

The op thinks he's the wrong person because he isn't rich and handsome.

Is alright.


God is watching.

There are billions of men in the world, if at the end of the day I decide to marry x out of the billions of men around probably because he has some qualities I desire in a man, does that not mean that x is the man for me?
if we have certain characteristics we want in people and we look around hoping that a certain person out of billions of person at a certain time will meet those features, does that not imply that the person in question is the person for us? The fact that we have met many before him/her and we didn't consider them worthy not meant that he/she is the only person for us?
Mind you I believe everyone has that certain person who only can give them the desired peace they want in a spouse. Sometimes, as in the case of op here we could have met them but for some reasons we don't buy into such a person, if we come around later to accept such a person, it doesn't meet that this theory has been disproved. To buttress my argument, let look at this scenario: I met Kemi, initially I refused her but after some failures with many ladies I decided to marry her. Now in my marriage with her I discovered that I grow to love her and wouldnt have wished I married another? Does my initial doubt and refusal means that Kemi is a random choice and I could have married another lady? No!, what it means is that there are certain characteristics about myself which I am never conscious of and the fact that only Kemi brings this to surface and eventually met my aspiration only buttress the fact that she is the only one meant for me.
What am I driving at? The fact that we are individuals brought in certain manners and with our preferences infers that not everyone can meet our desired needs in our choice of spouses. If we prayerful search and wait patiently on God, we will at a particular time meet that ONLY one person who compliments us. I believe we are not a product of chance but people specially created by God. Our ability to however meet that person depends on how much we are willingly to follow God. Many people have been led into making wrong and thus having miserable marriages because they believe they can marry anyone. When it looks like time is going, they are ready ro jump into ship with anyone and thus end up miserably bad.
It is also this erroneous belief that makes many believe polygamy can bring peace and happiness which definitely is not correct.
Can an atheist marry a godly person and both have blissful marriage. Definitely No. The scripture says two cannot work together except they agree. Some will say the person will change in the course of marriage. Unfortunately you don't marry what you can't live with. A potential partner must be scrutinise for strength and weaknesses and the decision to say yes to a person must be based on the fact that we are willingly to meet them the way they are and not that we want them to necessarily change.
On the case of op above, only her is in a position to know if she can live with the man in question. She needs to sit down, do some introspection and find out if there are certain qualities in the man she cherishes. No one, I repeat No one can make her choice for her. However let her bear it in my mind that the fact that she has been able to tolerate the man in question as a friend is already an indication that they can work together. So she should keep an open mind.

Sorry for my long epistle.

pickabeau1:


This was the same way it used to be in the West
they moved on..once women started having jobs and careers

The economy in Niigeria is still the issue

Give it time

*Sacarsm*

Blame it on the Alcohol as usual

I wonder what some breadwinning wives could've became if they didn't have an Amazon role models as an example growing up?
It's imbred bro, simple as that.

pickabeau1:

evulz...
Those who enter with their eyes open sha.. dem tori dey sweet

Hehe
Color me Evulz but those ones dey sweet pass aswear I'm like HUH??