Kitme:
Hmmm.....

Another boss breezes by. Kit I hail oooo .... bros.

emperorfidel:


Another boss breezes by. Kit I hail oooo .... bros.

Lmao...boss keh? btw,i'm a girl. Nice story, scratch that, great story,save for a few errors. i'm so followin.

Okay. The story is going okay. The storyline seems good. Captivating, too.

You could try to work on the terrible acts though, they would be a major turn off to those Nature's bestowed with faint hearts.

Also, a quite germane part of stories this genre is not yet in. You'll need the suspense. Really. It helps. Take your time too, the story should seem well planned to the reading world. You might want to augment your diction too.

Cross checking helps too. Try to adapt.

Lest I forget, the title could be this: Debt From Home (a killer's instinct) or Debt From Home; a killer's instinct

I only hope to learn more from you, sir. And hopefully, grow better under your supervision.

Keep up the good work!

all the bosses have talked. Let me just wish you well,and remind you that everybody who had a eyes for your mistake, never had it before but they practiced and practiced until they saw that mistake; so, keep writing until you are see those mistakes.
Learn from their advices.

Kitme:
Lmao...boss keh? btw,i'm a girl. Nice story, scratch that, great story,save for a few errors. i'm so followin.

boss? yes!
My present boss is a lady.
I must be sincere, I didnt check the sex. pardonne moi s'elle vous plait.

Tnx for your presence, means alot. Certainly gonna work on the errors.

Divepen1:
all the bosses have talked. Let me just wish you well,and remind you that everybody who had a eyes for your mistake, never had it before but they practiced and practiced until they saw that mistake; so, keep writing until you are see those mistakes.
Learn from their advices.

Oga Divepen, your words are encouraging. Tnx mucho, so gonna work hard.

thronekid:
Okay. The story is going okay. The storyline seems good. Captivating, too.

You could try to work on the terrible acts though, they would be a major turn off to those Nature's bestowed with faint hearts.

Also, a quite germane part of stories this genre is not yet in. You'll need the suspense. Really. It helps. Take your time too, the story should seem well planned to the reading world. You might want to augment your diction too.

Cross checking helps too. Try to adapt.

Lest I forget, the title could be this: Debt From Home (a killer's instinct) or Debt From Home; a killer's instinct

I only hope to learn more from you, sir. And hopefully, grow better under your supervision.

Keep up the good work!

Thats much. Invaluable piece of information. My learning has just started, thank you Thronekid.

Modifying the title now.

Big Thank you to all that gave me guidance, DivePen Kitme Larrysun thronekid KingzPen Skimpledawg and a host of others, not forgetting SofiaAmrozia Jics Galaxdiva. May your stylo never lack ink, did I hear you say a big Amen.

He introduced himself as Mr Thomas Peterson and held out a steady hand, the priest grabbed it and shook it feebly.
" Meet Lilian, my lovely sister. " He stressed the word LOVELY in a bid to sound convincing. The fair, slim girl waved him a "hi " and smiled. The priest adjusted his collar, stealing a casual glance at her face. She is beautiful, he thought.
" Please sit "pointing to two empty chairs opposite him.

Mr Thomas took a minute to take in the features of the interior. The walls were old and had some cracks, the painting were fading off making it difficult for one to decipher what colour they had. A framed picture of the crucified Jesus hung loosely on the wall behind the priest. Another showed a picture of the priest carrying a little girl on his shoulder while children of varying ages posed around him. Some of the children looked happy and some wore expressionless looks.

The statue of the blessed virgin Mary and a shabby Jerusalem Bible were the lonely occupant of a small table kept at the other end of the room. An old shelf containing stacks of files and notebooks cried for polishing beside the table. Thomas noticed that the ceiling fan rotating lazily above thier head was the only item with a new look in the room.

The way he stared, Lilian had a sudden feeling that he was looking for something. What could he be looking for?

The priest knew that Thomas was checking the room out and he allowed him. He counted the beads of his chaplet and mumbled something to himself as his fingers made a rather slow journey from one bead to another. The room was quiet save for the tick-tock sound of the wall clock as its hands danced a 360.

Lilian exhaled deeply, stretching her hands in the process. Her fingers brushed across Thomas' shoulder, it was a conscious effort as if to say "hey buddy, focus! "

"Apologies, padre. That statue fascinated me, " he lied.
" That is lovely, Mr Thoma...."
" Call me Tom " he interrupted, playing the role of a gentleman. He flashed the priest a quick smile, an artificial smile that had no life, it had vanished as fast it came .

A lady in her late fifties walked into the room, placed three plastic bottle of water on the table and bowed. She suddenly halted and took a long stare at Thomas, her eyebrows raised, she scratched her dyed hair and left. Thomas shifted uneasily in his seat. He opened one of the bottles and emptied it in quick gulps.

Thomas explained the reason for their visit. They wanted to help the orphans and would love to be a part of thier community. He reiterated his yearn to be a voice to the poor and needy. The priest preached how good a course they have undertaken and assured him of God's ever presence in all his endeavours. Thomas nodded an amen.

At this point, Thomas handed Lilian a car key and she excused herself. Two minutes later, she came back with a medium-sized case, played with the security lock for a while before pressing the buttons at both ends. The case flipped open, revealing stacks of neatly arranged crisp naira notes.

The priest nearly lost his breath at the sight of so much money. He folded his arms against his chest and his eyes popped out in disbelief. Lilian resisted a strong urge to laugh, she closed the case and slid it across to the priest.

" Furnish your office and improve the lives of those children. " He kicked his chair backward and stood up, the priest stuttered some words of thanks and they shook hands again.

They walked with quick strides to where they packed the silver coloured Honda. Thomas was talking angrily to someone on the phone.
" You dumb shit! You told me all the old staff were all gone... " he was almost shouting.

As the car rolled out of the rusty gate, Lilian was in time to see the bold prints on the big signpost, THE HOME ORPHANAGE.

***************************************

emperorfidel:

Aha! the diva is here. Tnx dear. I will do better
You care for some frog peppersoup? The stuff aint bad at all.

frog?? Yuck..... U want me to purge? I prefer chicken pepper soup

Galaxdiva:


frog?? Yuck..... U want me to purge? I prefer chicken pepper soup

Chicken it is. Make your order, I will foot the bill. Make i go watch ShadowCorp.

emperorfidel:

Chicken it is. Make your order, I will foot the bill. Make i go watch ShadowCorp.

shadowcorp ko? Kayemjay never update ooo

Galaxdiva:


shadowcorp ko? Kayemjay never update ooo

Now, that's true. just found out. aaaarrrrrgggghh!

emperorfidel:


Now, that's true. just found out. aaaarrrrrgggghh!

Make una nor vex na. By Wednesday. I promise.

Galaxdiva:

shadowcorp ko? Kayemjay never update ooo

I love you

nice one... following lyk seriously...

Chyluv1000:
nice one... following lyk seriously...

Chy you are welcome here. Your presence ... my strength.
Your popcorn and ticket fee is on my head!

Mrblaze06 I see you brother, pls drop your comement.

emperorfidel:

boss? yes! My present boss is a lady. I must be sincere, I didnt check the sex. pardonne moi s'elle vous plait.
Tnx for your presence, means alot. Certainly gonna work on the errors.

I'm not yet a boss jare... C'mon, its nothing! More ink to ya pen!

emperorfidel:

Chy you are welcome here. Your presence ... my strength. Your popcorn and ticket fee is on my head!

tank u sire.....

kayemjay:





I love you

Awww... Love u 2.... Dat means i wil get a dedication via ur nxt update?... Hey darl@ kayemjay,pls go and update oo. .. The same goes to u@ emperorfidel,dnt starve ur fans...
Waiting

Galaxdiva:



Awww... Love u 2.... Dat means i wil get a dedication via ur nt update?... Hey darl@ kayemjay,pls go and update oo. .. The same goes to u@ emperorfidel,dnt starve ur fans...
Waiting

Sure I will.
Earth' s invasion premiers 0900 hours
Debt From Home continues 1000 hours.

Thanks for your patience.

my oga KingzPen I see you broi.

Ma guy come and continue oooo....

Mrblaze06:
Ma guy come and continue oooo....

my oga no vex for me. morro unfailingly. tnx for ya patience bro

emperorfidel:


my oga no vex for me. morro unfailingly.
tnx for ya patience bro

No Shit lah.

Mrblaze06:
No Shit lah.

Earth's Invasion is out bro. Showing live.
Debt From Home is being typed.

emperorfidel:


Earth's Invasion is out bro. Showing live.

Debt From Home is being typed.

OK bro

waiting for an update...

Chyluv1000:
waiting for an update...

Luvly Chi is here. should be up in an hour. In the meantime, you may want to keep yourself busy with the premier episode of Earth' s Invasion.

Apologies for keeping you waiting.

emperorfidel:


Luvly Chi is here. should be up in an hour. In the meantime, you may want to keep yourself busy with the premier episode of Earth' s Invasion.

Apologies for keeping you waiting.

can I get d link

i'm gonna like dis
op! helloo

Chyluv1000:




can I get d link

here is the link Chi. https://www.nairaland.com/2432206/earths-invasion-winners-take-earth

enjoy