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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:07am On Jul 12, 2015
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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by littlemistress: 1:08am On Jul 12, 2015
[quote author=chomytex post=35761090]She didn't cook for her ex..she cooked for d new guy[quote]

New guy or ex, what excuse does a responsible married woman have for cooking for a married man other than her own hubby?
Isn't she aware the man she's cooking for has a wife?

How would she take it if her hubby is feeding an unknown woman under the guise of 'whatever'??

We women are sometimes the architect of our downfalls..

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by MrBasketball: 1:08am On Jul 12, 2015
Some people are mistaken the op as a female... Please read the post well. undecided
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by 989900: 1:09am On Jul 12, 2015
treese:
Hello you all. I am his wife.but I am indeed glad he came here to pour his heart out. He doesn't like communicating with me that much, once he is upset u dont wanna be around me. You will pity me, he treats me unfair, he removes his ring at will and says he had a bad day and so it his wedding ring that caused it. You can take a look tru my profile. You would see just a little of my complaints. But now i get where the problem is. Funny enough I didn't know he had this topic here already cos I am not much of a nairaland person so if he didn't make front topic I won't have seen it. And it was even God that drew my attention here cos even front topic I don't read that much. Very very glad I did. Now o am not a cheating wife and would never ever till I die cheat. I would rather walk away. You see d gentle man who put this topic down, he doesn't talk much to me. If anything goes wrong with us, I could be talking for 3mins he will just increase the volume of his phone and start playing music. He can agree how any times in a day I ask him why he hates me so much. Cos he acts as such. Let me analyse the instances that made him think am cheating. My EX who was the first man I probably ever loved. Myself and my husband has had plenty issues on exes his exes sef just disappeared completely like a year back. My ex probably called me and we had a very clean and open convo. I tot to myself this is wrong jor. So I told him, my ex called me and he has always bin calling which is true. But very clean convo. He has Like 3kids now and is happily married. The day i told my hubby my ex called me. He was just there like whatever, and I rem telling him that day you never get jealous of me. U should even ask me questions or something. If I keep talking without bin asked questions then something is wrong with me. God knows I felt hurt that he was neutral. And that night my husband decide to have phone intimacy with an old female friend to get back at me. I rem that Sunday Wen I saw it. I cried. I felt hurt d moment he said that's for Kipling in touch with ur ex. And i asked him why he didnt allow us talk about it immediately, sometimes thats all we need just talk to us and show u care, till date i always feel my husvand is t worrird ablut losing me, instead he pays me back. And i dont think it should that way, sometimes communicatikn is all u need and u would just find d truth in d detail. I cang coynt how many incriminatikng stiffs i have fpynd on his phone, me i cant kip quiet for too long i tell him sharp sharp and sometimes it isnt what i think, but if i decide to keep.quiet and pay him back i would only be hurting us more, so back to my ex, Then we went out, we spoke about it and it all got cleared, but I guess it didn't. Secondly he spoke about me removing my ring. Now this is me also.when I find out hubby always removes his ring often and blame it on bad days I join him. Right now none of us Is wearing a rjng; he as removed it again and thrown it away claiming another bad day and I joined in cos I don't undestand that ish again. Now the third case of cheating. He said o saved my ex's number yeah that's true and that becos I didn't want my husband to think otherwise cos I actually think he knows the guys number or have it saved somewhere. This guy is helping my lil brother gt a job with an oil firm. He is only helping.
When my husband saw this I felt so bad so so bad and I wish I had discussed it with him. But I tot he would pay me back painfully again so I decide to keep it away from him. The third blame is me cooking for a guy on the estate. The guy is a friend I met quiet alright. But God sees my heart I cooked it out of helping. His wife is overseas and d guy claimed to be broke, then also there was fuel scarcity he said he couldn't get fuel to buy. So he wanted me to help him with food. That faithful day, my husband's friend who also lives on the estate was home, my nanny and my two kids, so I asked him to give his opinion,and he said why not that the guy is an easy going person on the estate and for him to ask for food he must be In a bad state. We had some left over rice at home and I told hy nanny to go and give him. When my hubby came back that day I Had to find a way to explain to him. I wasnt too sure of his response, but to a certain extent d man i know and the way he has bin treating me I tot he will say no big deal. But I got otherwise instantly I knew I had messed up, but how to fix it became a problem. He has called my dad on this matter. That old man is another man I fear the most after God. Tho I was scared of wat he will do to me. But I was rather glad. Cos I wanted to be free and be trusted again. The matter on ground is something that I know can ruin my home but now that he as spoken I believe and hope he learns to trust me. Now I understand d reason for the mean treatments. He doesn't like visiting marriage counselors, so smtimes we end our matters and issues arguing and no resolution. Am saying it world wide now. I am not cheating on my husband. I love him than anything else in the world. Appreciate him and would always honour him. His changes and behaviour towards me recently sort of got me changing to, but now I see where it's all coming from. God bless u nairaland at least he spoke here. But seriously, dear Nairalander's you can't give concluding opinions on a journey of 3years based on 650 words. U don't av any idea wat we both av bin Tru to just conclude that he divorces a woman u know nothing about based on the short story u heard. I am a woman who would do anything g to keep her home. I took steps that I had no clue I would regret. Now he doesn't trust me no one knows how that feels. Even when I go out for business he picks d lie from d truth and this hasn't bin making me go what I deserve. I hope and pray God fixes this for me.

Shurrup!

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:12am On Jul 12, 2015
Your wife is not clean to you,you better divotce her before she kill you and give you disease,some women no get shame at all,when many girls are looking for mr right,some are taking mr right for grnted.

OP.but are good women that hard to find that you can't rid this lying cheat you called wife?
freelance777:
Dear Nairalander's

How are you all doing? I hope you guys are doing well? I am writing this post to express my fears of the unknown, because I have been a very trusting and reliable husband to my wife.

Before marriage, my wife have once told me about his ex who is supposedly his best date ever in her life before she met me, that apart 2 years into our marriage, we had an arguement in which she confronted me about a number saved with a lady's name on my dialled list. I openly and honestly told her it was my old school mate whom I missed her call and had called back. But she wanted to know more like I was doing something shady, that got me all roused up and I just told her to leave me be.

A week later, I received a call from her straight from work that my daughter had a serious cut on her lips due to an
accident, I quickly rushed down to the school, but met them at the nearest clinic where my daughter's lip was being stitched, few mins later I walked down to her school where she works nearby to pick up her car key then bring her car nearby so we could all go home, surprisingly, I found her wedding ring inside the glove compartment. A ring she wore out to work that very morning.

I didnt question her immmediately until the night of that day, I asked her why she had removed her ring and kept it in the glove compartment knowing fully well that the wore it out that very morning, she said it was because I have had mine removed since the past 1 month, so she also had the same reason to remove her's.

A week later, she opened up to me that she has been talking to her ex whom I described above, I asked her about what? She said she has been taking advise from him whenever we have issues. I kept shut and moved on.

2 more years into this marriage, I recently found out that her ex had sent her a whatsapp message, but she didnt respond, so I opened up a discussion with her based on ex's. I asked her if keeping contact of ex's or communicating with ex's is good for married people be it the man or woman, she said its a no no, that infact she will never accomodate such and that its wrong for anybody to do that. I immediately told her to open up her whats app, she did and I showed her her ex's whats app message, she at first was scared, wanted to cover up the phone somehow, but due to fear, she slowly relaxed herself and she said well that I can see that he is just talking and she has not been responding, and that its possible for someone you do not have on your contact list to send you a whatsapp message, I agreed, but countered her saying you also have saved his number with Abbreviation, if you never intend having future communication with him, why then did you save his number thereafter? I didnt get an answer, until later after two weeks when she told me she was in communication with him in order to secure a job for his younger brother. ( Very hard to believe) I moved on.


A few days later again, I was on my way to help her fix her iphone which she has abandoned like a year and the half, something just prompted me to dial his ex's number on that phone, behold she had saved the number as 'rsif' someone who bears Williams. Anyway I kept quiet still. The the final incident that gave me a final warning that this my wife might be cheating on me unknowingly was just a month ago when she told me she had met this dude on the same estate we reside, that he was into business and had also gave her his complementary card, I asked what he does, said he is an estate agent, I responded saying estate agency does not correlate with what you do, she said at least he can provide us good offer for housing by the time we are ready to move. When all of a sudden, she said that same guy had asked her to help cook since his own wife had travelled to the USA to give birth. She asked if it was right for her to go ahead and do the cooking, I immediately denounce that move that it is wrong, and that the guy has another motive entirely. I told her to tell him that he should ask his own family member to cook for him, and that she should immediately cut communication with him if she wants to last long in the marriage.

My wife responded by saying, she does not think the guy has bad intentions and that he is a cool and nice person with a very mild personality,that if the dude has such intentions, that it would be the most surprising occurence to her. I said well just do as I have said. Lo and behold, I investigated her phone and I found out that she had already cooked for this dude even before she asked me the question. I confronted her, and she said it was because I might not find it funny and thats the reason why she kept it a secret at first. I then promise to show her that the dude was infact a cheater whom is planning to cheat on his wife with my own wife. One day, I impersonated my wife, and started sending text as such as that am ready to give him what he wants, lo and behold, this dude was responding and was even asking where I was at, that he is ready to heal my wounds, a hug and everything that I needed. I showed my wife the text message, and she acted all surprised, but I was not, because based on the conversations that I have seen, it seems to me that whenever I have issued, he rushes to call the guy and tell him everything, which was a good avenue for the guy to provide emotional consolation in order to get what he wants.

I apologize for this long story, but I just needed to detail this story well, so that I can get insight of what I need to be thinking, what I need to do, and the right steps to take.

Thanks all.



1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by KAYNINI(m): 1:12am On Jul 12, 2015
How old is your wife?
very important

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by MrBasketball: 1:14am On Jul 12, 2015
phreakabit:


Was just a matter of time before A white knight showed up. . . You sound like the kinda of guy that gets cheated on and apologizes to the "cheater".
My thought exactly!

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by veralech(f): 1:14am On Jul 12, 2015
Your wife is a type that cheats while out and comes home looking cool as if nothing happened.

She has you by the balls and if you are any wiser, just walk away before you develop high blood Pressure.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by sunnydayasaba(m): 1:15am On Jul 12, 2015
freelance777:
Dear Nairalander's

How are you all doing? I hope you guys are doing well? I am writing this post to express my fears of the unknown, because I have been a very trusting and reliable husband to my wife.

Before marriage, my wife have once told me about his ex who is supposedly his best date ever in her life before she met me, that apart 2 years into our marriage, we had an arguement in which she confronted me about a number saved with a lady's name on my dialled list. I openly and honestly told her it was my old school mate whom I missed her call and had called back. But she wanted to know more like I was doing something shady, that got me all roused up and I just told her to leave me be.

A week later, I received a call from her straight from work that my daughter had a serious cut on her lips due to an
accident, I quickly rushed down to the school, but met them at the nearest clinic where my daughter's lip was being stitched, few mins later I walked down to her school where she works nearby to pick up her car key then bring her car nearby so we could all go home, surprisingly, I found her wedding ring inside the glove compartment. A ring she wore out to work that very morning.

I didnt question her immmediately until the night of that day, I asked her why she had removed her ring and kept it in the glove compartment knowing fully well that the wore it out that very morning, she said it was because I have had mine removed since the past 1 month, so she also had the same reason to remove her's.

A week later, she opened up to me that she has been talking to her ex whom I described above, I asked her about what? She said she has been taking advise from him whenever we have issues. I kept shut and moved on.

2 more years into this marriage, I recently found out that her ex had sent her a whatsapp message, but she didnt respond, so I opened up a discussion with her based on ex's. I asked her if keeping contact of ex's or communicating with ex's is good for married people be it the man or woman, she said its a no no, that infact she will never accomodate such and that its wrong for anybody to do that. I immediately told her to open up her whats app, she did and I showed her her ex's whats app message, she at first was scared, wanted to cover up the phone somehow, but due to fear, she slowly relaxed herself and she said well that I can see that he is just talking and she has not been responding, and that its possible for someone you do not have on your contact list to send you a whatsapp message, I agreed, but countered her saying you also have saved his number with Abbreviation, if you never intend having future communication with him, why then did you save his number thereafter? I didnt get an answer, until later after two weeks when she told me she was in communication with him in order to secure a job for his younger brother. ( Very hard to believe) I moved on.


A few days later again, I was on my way to help her fix her iphone which she has abandoned like a year and the half, something just prompted me to dial his ex's number on that phone, behold she had saved the number as 'rsif' someone who bears Williams. Anyway I kept quiet still. The the final incident that gave me a final warning that this my wife might be cheating on me unknowingly was just a month ago when she told me she had met this dude on the same estate we reside, that he was into business and had also gave her his complementary card, I asked what he does, said he is an estate agent, I responded saying estate agency does not correlate with what you do, she said at least he can provide us good offer for housing by the time we are ready to move. When all of a sudden, she said that same guy had asked her to help cook since his own wife had travelled to the USA to give birth. She asked if it was right for her to go ahead and do the cooking, I immediately denounce that move that it is wrong, and that the guy has another motive entirely. I told her to tell him that he should ask his own family member to cook for him, and that she should immediately cut communication with him if she wants to last long in the marriage.

My wife responded by saying, she does not think the guy has bad intentions and that he is a cool and nice person with a very mild personality,that if the dude has such intentions, that it would be the most surprising occurence to her. I said well just do as I have said. Lo and behold, I investigated her phone and I found out that she had already cooked for this dude even before she asked me the question. I confronted her, and she said it was because I might not find it funny and thats the reason why she kept it a secret at first. I then promise to show her that the dude was infact a cheater whom is planning to cheat on his wife with my own wife. One day, I impersonated my wife, and started sending text as such as that am ready to give him what he wants, lo and behold, this dude was responding and was even asking where I was at, that he is ready to heal my wounds, a hug and everything that I needed. I showed my wife the text message, and she acted all surprised, but I was not, because based on the conversations that I have seen, it seems to me that whenever I have issued, he rushes to call the guy and tell him everything, which was a good avenue for the guy to provide emotional consolation in order to get what he wants.

I apologize for this long story, but I just needed to detail this story well, so that I can get insight of what I need to be thinking, what I need to do, and the right steps to take.

Thanks all.






Oga sir,

Everything u wrote their shows ur exempting yourself frm blames. U need to relax and think abt what u really want for urself...A grown man cant allow his wife ex ruin his marriage, because if the so call guy succeed, then your a failure on ur part.

Theirs more to this than what u wrote there and u know it. You just have to figure out what u want as the head of ur family, the ex in question is enjoying his marriage and ur here causing ur family pains. U need to lead ur home by example, ur not wearing ur wedding ring and u expect ur wife to wear hers. If u feel ur wife ex is training to ruin ur marriage, why not man up call the ex and ask him to stay away instead of exchanging text with him to create more problem in ur home.

I feel ur getting tired of ur marriage and i don't expect it to be so soon, Man up take charge and regain control of ur home, discuss with ur wife and have all dis resolve, no advice we give here will help if u don't decide to make ur marriage work again and if ur tired of ur marriage, let ur wife know but bear in mind that the consequences of such actions might hurt u forever. I pray God grant u grace and peace again in ur home.

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by OPUU: 1:28am On Jul 12, 2015
You've played the soft ball for too long.It's time to step up the game. Be man enough and Call her to order immediately.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by per1: 1:29am On Jul 12, 2015
I advice you to pray and focus on your God given family via communication introduce her to good women u know of, for a godly advice
What do u know about her back ground, u might discover that having extra marital affair could be normal, where she grew up
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by chomytex(f): 1:30am On Jul 12, 2015
Me sef tire for d woman...I hope she realizes wat she's doing and mk amends bfore it gets out of hand[quote author=littlemistress post=35761234][/quote]
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by ideykwum: 1:32am On Jul 12, 2015
Very true talk!

cutelover19:

To all the ladies trying to make it seem as if the OP had a hand in this misfortune, especially the one that said the OP is not emotionally available, didn't the wife know the kind of man the OP is before agreeing to the marriage? There is God o!!! For no reason and on no account must a married woman even think about(not to talk about executing) any action that is detrimental to her marriage except she is tired of it! My humble logomaky without logopartia

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by 9jatatafo(m): 1:32am On Jul 12, 2015
OP with all honesty, your woman is straffing another man. How high is your libido? Please f.uck that your wife well to reprogramme her brain to you and you alone. Your wife connecting with her x and also someone in your estate and she went further by cooking for him? Hey wake up! That man have cooked your wife kpekus.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by ukandi1(m): 1:32am On Jul 12, 2015
wagazala:
Bros, begin find new wife.

If your wife would go as far as cook and confide in another woman's husband other than you then obviously something is wrong. The usual template answer most people will give you on this forum is have a heart to heart talk about it to your wife, pray about it, etc. Forgerrit, if you don't have kids yet, i'll suggest you start packing your bags.

Exactly my opinion too
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by cyprus000: 1:34am On Jul 12, 2015
treese:
Hello you all. I am his wife.but I am indeed glad he came here to pour his heart out. He doesn't like communicating with me that much, once he is upset u dont wanna be around me. You will pity me, he treats me unfair, he removes his ring at will and says he had a bad day and so it his wedding ring that caused it. You can take a look tru my profile. You would see just a little of my complaints. But now i get where the problem is. Funny enough I didn't know he had this topic here already cos I am not much of a nairaland person so if he didn't make front topic I won't have seen it. And it was even God that drew my attention here cos even front topic I don't read that much. Very very glad I did. Now o am not a cheating wife and would never ever till I die cheat. I would rather walk away. You see d gentle man who put this topic down, he doesn't talk much to me. If anything goes wrong with us, I could be talking for 3mins he will just increase the volume of his phone and start playing music. He can agree how any times in a day I ask him why he hates me so much. Cos he acts as such. Let me analyse the instances that made him think am cheating. My EX who was the first man I probably ever loved. Myself and my husband has had plenty issues on exes his exes sef just disappeared completely like a year back. My ex probably called me and we had a very clean and open convo. I tot to myself this is wrong jor. So I told him, my ex called me and he has always bin calling which is true. But very clean convo. He has Like 3kids now and is happily married. The day i told my hubby my ex called me. He was just there like whatever, and I rem telling him that day you never get jealous of me. U should even ask me questions or something. If I keep talking without bin asked questions then something is wrong with me. God knows I felt hurt that he was neutral. And that night my husband decide to have phone intimacy with an old female friend to get back at me. I rem that Sunday Wen I saw it. I cried. I felt hurt d moment he said that's for Kipling in touch with ur ex. And i asked him why he didnt allow us talk about it immediately, sometimes thats all we need just talk to us and show u care, till date i always feel my husvand is t worrird ablut losing me, instead he pays me back. And i dont think it should that way, sometimes communicatikn is all u need and u would just find d truth in d detail. I cang coynt how many incriminatikng stiffs i have fpynd on his phone, me i cant kip quiet for too long i tell him sharp sharp and sometimes it isnt what i think, but if i decide to keep.quiet and pay him back i would only be hurting us more, so back to my ex, Then we went out, we spoke about it and it all got cleared, but I guess it didn't. Secondly he spoke about me removing my ring. Now this is me also.when I find out hubby always removes his ring often and blame it on bad days I join him. Right now none of us Is wearing a rjng; he as removed it again and thrown it away claiming another bad day and I joined in cos I don't undestand that ish again. Now the third case of cheating. He said o saved my ex's number yeah that's true and that becos I didn't want my husband to think otherwise cos I actually think he knows the guys number or have it saved somewhere. This guy is helping my lil brother gt a job with an oil firm. He is only helping.
When my husband saw this I felt so bad so so bad and I wish I had discussed it with him. But I tot he would pay me back painfully again so I decide to keep it away from him. The third blame is me cooking for a guy on the estate. The guy is a friend I met quiet alright. But God sees my heart I cooked it out of helping. His wife is overseas and d guy claimed to be broke, then also there was fuel scarcity he said he couldn't get fuel to buy. So he wanted me to help him with food. That faithful day, my husband's friend who also lives on the estate was home, my nanny and my two kids, so I asked him to give his opinion,and he said why not that the guy is an easy going person on the estate and for him to ask for food he must be In a bad state. We had some left over rice at home and I told hy nanny to go and give him. When my hubby came back that day I Had to find a way to explain to him. I wasnt too sure of his response, but to a certain extent d man i know and the way he has bin treating me I tot he will say no big deal. But I got otherwise instantly I knew I had messed up, but how to fix it became a problem. He has called my dad on this matter. That old man is another man I fear the most after God. Tho I was scared of wat he will do to me. But I was rather glad. Cos I wanted to be free and be trusted again. The matter on ground is something that I know can ruin my home but now that he as spoken I believe and hope he learns to trust me. Now I understand d reason for the mean treatments. He doesn't like visiting marriage counselors, so smtimes we end our matters and issues arguing and no resolution. Am saying it world wide now. I am not cheating on my husband. I love him than anything else in the world. Appreciate him and would always honour him. His changes and behaviour towards me recently sort of got me changing to, but now I see where it's all coming from. God bless u nairaland at least he spoke here. But seriously, dear Nairalander's you can't give concluding opinions on a journey of 3years based on 650 words. U don't av any idea wat we both av bin Tru to just conclude that he divorces a woman u know nothing about based on the short story u heard. I am a woman who would do anything g to keep her home. I took steps that I had no clue I would regret. Now he doesn't trust me no one knows how that feels. Even when I go out for business he picks d lie from d truth and this hasn't bin making me go what I deserve. I hope and pray God fixes this for me.

[size=13pt]
Cc freelance777

Do you know this woman
[/size]

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:37am On Jul 12, 2015
treese:
Hello you all. I am his wife.but I am indeed glad he came here to pour his heart out. He doesn't like communicating with me that much, once he is upset u dont wanna be around me. You will pity me, he treats me unfair, he removes his ring at will and says he had a bad day and so it his wedding ring that caused it. You can take a look tru my profile. You would see just a little of my complaints. But now i get where the problem is. Funny enough I didn't know he had this topic here already cos I am not much of a nairaland person so if he didn't make front topic I won't have seen it. And it was even God that drew my attention here cos even front topic I don't read that much. Very very glad I did. Now o am not a cheating wife and would never ever till I die cheat. I would rather walk away. You see d gentle man who put this topic down, he doesn't talk much to me. If anything goes wrong with us, I could be talking for 3mins he will just increase the volume of his phone and start playing music. He can agree how any times in a day I ask him why he hates me so much. Cos he acts as such. Let me analyse the instances that made him think am cheating. My EX who was the first man I probably ever loved. Myself and my husband has had plenty issues on exes his exes sef just disappeared completely like a year back. My ex probably called me and we had a very clean and open convo. I tot to myself this is wrong jor. So I told him, my ex called me and he has always bin calling which is true. But very clean convo. He has Like 3kids now and is happily married. The day i told my hubby my ex called me. He was just there like whatever, and I rem telling him that day you never get jealous of me. U should even ask me questions or something. If I keep talking without bin asked questions then something is wrong with me. God knows I felt hurt that he was neutral. And that night my husband decide to have phone intimacy with an old female friend to get back at me. I rem that Sunday Wen I saw it. I cried. I felt hurt d moment he said that's for Kipling in touch with ur ex. And i asked him why he didnt allow us talk about it immediately, sometimes thats all we need just talk to us and show u care, till date i always feel my husvand is t worrird ablut losing me, instead he pays me back. And i dont think it should that way, sometimes communicatikn is all u need and u would just find d truth in d detail. I cang coynt how many incriminatikng stiffs i have fpynd on his phone, me i cant kip quiet for too long i tell him sharp sharp and sometimes it isnt what i think, but if i decide to keep.quiet and pay him back i would only be hurting us more, so back to my ex, Then we went out, we spoke about it and it all got cleared, but I guess it didn't. Secondly he spoke about me removing my ring. Now this is me also.when I find out hubby always removes his ring often and blame it on bad days I join him. Right now none of us Is wearing a rjng; he as removed it again and thrown it away claiming another bad day and I joined in cos I don't undestand that ish again. Now the third case of cheating. He said o saved my ex's number yeah that's true and that becos I didn't want my husband to think otherwise cos I actually think he knows the guys number or have it saved somewhere. This guy is helping my lil brother gt a job with an oil firm. He is only helping.
When my husband saw this I felt so bad so so bad and I wish I had discussed it with him. But I tot he would pay me back painfully again so I decide to keep it away from him. The third blame is me cooking for a guy on the estate. The guy is a friend I met quiet alright. But God sees my heart I cooked it out of helping. His wife is overseas and d guy claimed to be broke, then also there was fuel scarcity he said he couldn't get fuel to buy. So he wanted me to help him with food. That faithful day, my husband's friend who also lives on the estate was home, my nanny and my two kids, so I asked him to give his opinion,and he said why not that the guy is an easy going person on the estate and for him to ask for food he must be In a bad state. We had some left over rice at home and I told hy nanny to go and give him. When my hubby came back that day I Had to find a way to explain to him. I wasnt too sure of his response, but to a certain extent d man i know and the way he has bin treating me I tot he will say no big deal. But I got otherwise instantly I knew I had messed up, but how to fix it became a problem. He has called my dad on this matter. That old man is another man I fear the most after God. Tho I was scared of wat he will do to me. But I was rather glad. Cos I wanted to be free and be trusted again. The matter on ground is something that I know can ruin my home but now that he as spoken I believe and hope he learns to trust me. Now I understand d reason for the mean treatments. He doesn't like visiting marriage counselors, so smtimes we end our matters and issues arguing and no resolution. Am saying it world wide now. I am not cheating on my husband. I love him than anything else in the world. Appreciate him and would always honour him. His changes and behaviour towards me recently sort of got me changing to, but now I see where it's all coming from. God bless u nairaland at least he spoke here. But seriously, dear Nairalander's you can't give concluding opinions on a journey of 3years based on 650 words. U don't av any idea wat we both av bin Tru to just conclude that he divorces a woman u know nothing about based on the short story u heard. I am a woman who would do anything g to keep her home. I took steps that I had no clue I would regret. Now he doesn't trust me no one knows how that feels. Even when I go out for business he picks d lie from d truth and this hasn't bin making me go what I deserve. I hope and pray God fixes this for me.
hmmn, there are really two sides to a coin. You have your faults, he has his. I really don't know why he felt justified to speak ill of you on NL when he also had phone intimacy with a friend. You and your husband have to resolve your issues as soon as possible before things get out of hand. You also have to limit your convo with your ex. I'm also seizing the opportunity to tell the original op to grow some balls and reason maturely as the head of the family. You did a very bad thing by coming to Nl to wash your dirty linen. Why won't your wife follow you to do the same? Lead by example!

10 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by FILEBE(m): 1:43am On Jul 12, 2015
ahsekeena:
This is an example of a bad marriage,failed marriage,miserable marriage!



Anyama marriage!

Wahdahhell?!
hey babe! U just got me to break my almost a year sillence with your comment. Nice one. But i must say u're a FOOL for what u typed. As in ehn... If you got nothing to contribute to the topic should you not just read comments made by sensible people above you? MUST YOU COMMENT NI? I don't blame you. I blame the data bundle cheat you are using to browse.
See your mouth like Bad marriage.
The op sought for help not insults.

4 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by ebiagforum(m): 1:45am On Jul 12, 2015
This is serious!

Check my signature below for a MONEY-MAKING OPPORTUNITY!!!
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:46am On Jul 12, 2015
sunnydayasaba:




Oga sir,

Everything u wrote their shows ur exempting yourself frm blames. U need to relax and think abt what u really want for urself...A grown man cant allow his wife ex ruin his marriage, because if the so call guy succeed, then your a failure on ur part.

[b]Theirs more to this than what u wrote there and u know it. [/b]You just have to figure out what u want as the head of ur family, the ex in question is enjoying his marriage and ur here causing ur family pains. U need to lead ur home by example, ur not wearing ur wedding ring and u expect ur wife to wear hers. If u feel ur wife ex is training to ruin ur marriage, why not man up call the ex and ask him to stay away instead of exchanging text with him to create more problem in ur home.

I feel ur getting tired of ur marriage and i don't expect it to be so soon, Man up take charge and regain control of ur home, discuss with ur wife and have all dis resolve, no advice we give here will help if u don't decide to make ur marriage work again and if ur tired of ur marriage, let ur wife know but bear in mind that the consequences of such actions might hurt u forever. I pray God grant u grace and peace again in ur home.

I thought I was the only one who suspected that. That was why I didn't comment earlier onundecided

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:47am On Jul 12, 2015
989900:


Shurrup!

Kill yourself

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:50am On Jul 12, 2015
ideykwum:
If you are truly his wife, you messed up big time!!! You're lucky you married that guy, because if it was someone like me, you'd have been sent away long time ago! So, your ex is the only one who can get a job for your brother? And you. Are here trying to justify why you saved his number under an alias??

You claim to love your husband, but your actions say the opposite!!! I won't say more than this: You are not matured mentally enough!!! Get real!! Marriage isn't for jokers!


Ode!

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 1:51am On Jul 12, 2015
FILEBE:

hey babe! U just got me to break my almost a year sillence with your comment. Nice one. But i must say u're a FOOL for what u typed. As in ehn... If you got nothing to contribute to the topic should you not just read comments made by sensible people above you? MUST YOU COMMENT NI? I don't blame you. I blame the data bundle cheat you are using to browse.
See your mouth like Bad marriage.
The op sought for help not insults.

Oponu ni e!

Oponu ode!


I said my mind,I didn't insult the o.p,I only aired my opiniona. His marriage is shit,snooping around,texting his wife's contacts,checking messages. And what's my business with u being silent on nairaland, am I the one who said u should have a brain that processes information only once a year? Which happens to be today.



See,just go to bed sogbo?


Iranu oshi.

*And I'm sure he's thinking he's one of the "sensible people"*

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by treese: 1:55am On Jul 12, 2015
You all have done well. And you av succeeded in ending the marriage. God bless you all.
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 2:02am On Jul 12, 2015
treese:
You all have done well. And you av succeeded in ending the marriage. God bless you all.

I pray you find the strength to withstand the divorce. You made mistakes but they were pardonable. You should find solace in your kids forget him and if and when you decide to move on, I pray you find a good man that would reciprocate your every show of affection.

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by kenochi08: 2:06am On Jul 12, 2015
Bro,my advice is first of all ask urself a question..what is it that ur were doing before and not doing again in ur marriage? And what are u doing now that u were not doing before..if u find the answer and its not ur fault then u need to have a heart to heart talk with ur wife and if that doesn't work out tell ur wife to invite that her ex for a dinner,that way u will know more abt the guy and what he's up to..wish u luck but bear in mind that marriage is not easy..even after many years its still a gradual process.

1 Like

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 2:07am On Jul 12, 2015
@freelance777, you should have told her you were tired of the marriage before you started acting out. The mistakes she made were your doing. It was good fault. It was because you weren't humane enough to throw in towel at the appropriate time. And no, being a man doesn't mean that it is okay to have affairs or do things that would hurt your partner. It might seem you have all the power now but you will soon realize your mistakes and by then, it would probably be too late to right them. I hope you find misery in those ‘women'.

3 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Lekmusic: 2:09am On Jul 12, 2015
What's all these ones now? I can only imagine the emotional turmoil you are going thru. She is already cheating emotionally if she hasn't started sexually. And that's enough course for concern.

You have to change your colour completly to bring her back home. All these processes of checking phone, following up will get you worked up. Give her the impression you are doing same thing she is doing if not more, let her see a bit of it. If she asks why, say you are just following her lead and that's the new basis of your marriage. Don't prey again, don't ask her about her day, don't check her phones. But perform your duties as a husband.

Remember give her the impression and don't necessarily indulge in the acts. Be silent at most times. Give her a new and different attitude. If it doesn't touch her heart to panic and seek your former self back, then the marriage is done for

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by FILEBE(m): 2:09am On Jul 12, 2015
ahsekeena:

Oponu ni e!
Oponu ode!
I said my mind,I didn't insult the o.p,I only aired my opiniona. His marriage is shit,snooping around,texting his wife's contacts,checking messages. And what's my business with u being silent on nairaland, am I the one who said u should have a brain that processes information only once a year? Which happens to be today.
See,just go to bed sogbo?
Iranu oshi.
*And I'm sure he's thinking he's one of the "sensible people"*

Babe! Shove your opinion into your ass! What kind of rubbish opinion is that? Can you imagine? Your opinion is an insult, calling the marriage a failed marriage. Who da f are u to even say all those? Well, it goes a long way to verify how dim witted you are. If this marriage ends up being failed truly then you are one of the frigin' cause. You didn't help at all, you worsen it. Your female mates gave better opinions o.
Babe. Don't quote me again except you want to appologize to the OP and his wife.

2 Likes

Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by thelastgenius: 2:12am On Jul 12, 2015
freelance777:
Dear Nairalander's

How are you all doing? I hope you guys are doing well? I am writing this post to express my fears of the unknown, because I have been a very trusting and reliable husband to my wife.

Before marriage, my wife have once told me about his ex who is supposedly his best date ever in her life before she met me, that apart 2 years into our marriage, we had an arguement in which she confronted me about a number saved with a lady's name on my dialled list. I openly and honestly told her it was my old school mate whom I missed her call and had called back. But she wanted to know more like I was doing something shady, that got me all roused up and I just told her to leave me be.

A week later, I received a call from her straight from work that my daughter had a serious cut on her lips due to an
accident, I quickly rushed down to the school, but met them at the nearest clinic where my daughter's lip was being stitched, few mins later I walked down to her school where she works nearby to pick up her car key then bring her car nearby so we could all go home, surprisingly, I found her wedding ring inside the glove compartment. A ring she wore out to work that very morning.

I didnt question her immmediately until the night of that day, I asked her why she had removed her ring and kept it in the glove compartment knowing fully well that the wore it out that very morning, she said it was because I have had mine removed since the past 1 month, so she also had the same reason to remove her's.

A week later, she opened up to me that she has been talking to her ex whom I described above, I asked her about what? She said she has been taking advise from him whenever we have issues. I kept shut and moved on.

2 more years into this marriage, I recently found out that her ex had sent her a whatsapp message, but she didnt respond, so I opened up a discussion with her based on ex's. I asked her if keeping contact of ex's or communicating with ex's is good for married people be it the man or woman, she said its a no no, that infact she will never accomodate such and that its wrong for anybody to do that. I immediately told her to open up her whats app, she did and I showed her her ex's whats app message, she at first was scared, wanted to cover up the phone somehow, but due to fear, she slowly relaxed herself and she said well that I can see that he is just talking and she has not been responding, and that its possible for someone you do not have on your contact list to send you a whatsapp message, I agreed, but countered her saying you also have saved his number with Abbreviation, if you never intend having future communication with him, why then did you save his number thereafter? I didnt get an answer, until later after two weeks when she told me she was in communication with him in order to secure a job for his younger brother. ( Very hard to believe) I moved on.


A few days later again, I was on my way to help her fix her iphone which she has abandoned like a year and the half, something just prompted me to dial his ex's number on that phone, behold she had saved the number as 'rsif' someone who bears Williams. Anyway I kept quiet still. The the final incident that gave me a final warning that this my wife might be cheating on me unknowingly was just a month ago when she told me she had met this dude on the same estate we reside, that he was into business and had also gave her his complementary card, I asked what he does, said he is an estate agent, I responded saying estate agency does not correlate with what you do, she said at least he can provide us good offer for housing by the time we are ready to move. When all of a sudden, she said that same guy had asked her to help cook since his own wife had travelled to the USA to give birth. She asked if it was right for her to go ahead and do the cooking, I immediately denounce that move that it is wrong, and that the guy has another motive entirely. I told her to tell him that he should ask his own family member to cook for him, and that she should immediately cut communication with him if she wants to last long in the marriage.

My wife responded by saying, she does not think the guy has bad intentions and that he is a cool and nice person with a very mild personality,that if the dude has such intentions, that it would be the most surprising occurence to her. I said well just do as I have said. Lo and behold, I investigated her phone and I found out that she had already cooked for this dude even before she asked me the question. I confronted her, and she said it was because I might not find it funny and thats the reason why she kept it a secret at first. I then promise to show her that the dude was infact a cheater whom is planning to cheat on his wife with my own wife. One day, I impersonated my wife, and started sending text as such as that am ready to give him what he wants, lo and behold, this dude was responding and was even asking where I was at, that he is ready to heal my wounds, a hug and everything that I needed. I showed my wife the text message, and she acted all surprised, but I was not, because based on the conversations that I have seen, it seems to me that whenever I have issued, he rushes to call the guy and tell him everything, which was a good avenue for the guy to provide emotional consolation in order to get what he wants.

I apologize for this long story, but I just needed to detail this story well, so that I can get insight of what I need to be thinking, what I need to do, and the right steps to take.

Thanks all.






hmm hmm hmm
Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by Nobody: 2:14am On Jul 12, 2015
treese:
You all have done well. And you av succeeded in ending the marriage. God bless you all.


Madam treese, you are not a kid and so should know replying your husband or people here is the worst mistake u mAde. Replying unmarried students and people who know next to nothing inclusive of myself anything about marriage is a horrible mistake you made.

This is social media for heavens sake, ur baby husband should already have known there's no solution here, only people who'll take sides because he has only said his part n as usual men will side men n women will side with u as you have seen all over thread How did the both of you expect people who are basically fund of bringing whatever other people have down just to feel pity for them give you guys sensible advice.

I have noticed none of you mentioned your families getting involved in this and its a shame you trust strangers over people uv lived with, where present and made your wedding a success and know you guys more n most closest to you in this.

You guys should sit and think how to settle yourselves, forgive and forget the past n if you can't then get a family person or a respected married individual who you trust for genuine advice involved n not running to a website where the average age of users is 25 seeking for advice

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Re: Could My Wife Be Cheating? by tunde1200(m): 2:27am On Jul 12, 2015
really?

are u serious Madam...

treese:
You all have done well. And you av succeeded in ending the marriage. God bless you all.

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