DuchessLily:


I like These ur rules abt ur wife and her ex.. But home u too won't have anything to do with ur exes... Abi d rules na for only her?!

I dont cheat too... If I did I wouldn't be making such rules. And she won't be obeying those rules if she caught me cheating.

Whobedatte:
her comments made me shocked too
Why can't my wife check on my phone and vice versa?
Nothing wey person no go hear for nairaland

u say this because u dont cheat on ur spouse. i have heard several people say here that wifes should not be snooping around their husbands phone. isnt it because there are so many incriminating things in here?

abbey621:


You're full of shit! You and your husband need psychological evaluations by true professionals. Unless you are not African, I see no reason why you would cook for another man without your husband's permission. All other things can be forgiven but this particular one is a taboo, you said all you did was cook but obviously you have a heart to heart connection with this guy if you can go as far as to share your marital problems. He's not the one that needs to see a counselor, you do! You've been married a couple of years by now you should know the type of husband you've got, you should know his thoughts without him saying a word, stop giving the devil an open accjess to your marriage!

..

egobetatoday:


u say this because u dont cheat on ur spouse. i have heard several people say here that wifes should not be snooping around their husbands phone. isnt it because there are so many incriminating things in here?

Anybody that claims that wife/husband should not check phone must be a big cheat....

Many may avoid checking their partners phone out of respect while others avoid it to avoid seeing what may compromise their love for their pertners or to avoid headache.

Sometime marriage is like a religion, you don't wanna hear, read or listen to what will shake ur faith therefore, u avoid anything that that can lead to that.

It is only a person that has alot to hide that padlock his/her phone.

Ibsgal:
You took off your ring for a month, yet you got mad that she removed hers? If you refuse to keep the symbol of your union with you at all times, it is a bit hypocritical to expect her to keep hers. You need to take the bull by its horns and deal with your marital issues, impersonating her on whatsapp and looking for clues everywhere are mere games. Sit her down, talk to her, and be as frank as possible, because based on what you've said, something is probably going on, and if it isn't, it will. I'm not one for an authoritative tone in a relationship, but this might be one of those times when you need to put a firm foot down, and tell her that she should sever all forms of communication with her ex.

the reason why every sane man should marry a virgin,atleast all this Ex factors won't happen,any shameless lady that open her legs to a man who haven't paid her bride price is capable of anything in marriage...b!tches everywhere,I pity some men who settles for another mans crumbs in the name of marriage,nonsense!

egobetatoday:


pls if u have yo judge, judge righgly. did u see where she wrote that when she brings up an issue, the guy increases the volume of his music. this isnt tor only u, several people here think its all her fault. what will u pple gain if this marriage breaks up? gor Gods sake how is ehe supposed to understand her husband if he doesnt open up for her to understand. kai God oooo....Marriage?

Yes it is, but incase of cooking the husband has warned her weeks ago against the guy. I don't know why people will just hide under one excuse to cover-up bad did. The woman in question has even realised her mistake that was why she quickly covered it up not knowing her husband will find out.

I will advice u to go and read their explanation severally b4 we take side, this is not a case of male vs female or ego thing my sister, it is a serious thing that many can learn from.

The man has his fault big time, but the woman has passed the boundary that any reasonable guy can accept. Read both stories and and judge accordingly.

F50:


People are created differently, I may be weak and jealous as u said but I have found my way around the complexities associated with women and we have been together for 5 yes now and we trust each other.
Can you tell us a little about your self Mr. Strong marn?

From your tone its indicative that you are a wife beater.
Pls try and desist from beating your wife, there is a very thin line between life and death. You will be so supprised that the woman who was just standing there arguing with you will be laying down motionless after u slapped her pls desist from hitting women and take my weak and jealous advice. My advice won't kill you check am na it already has over 200 likes!!! And counting...

I don't beat, I kill!!! tho not married yet@35.

abbey621:


Another crappy advice, let's think about this. Wife wants to prove a point to her husband, so she flirts with another man, cooks for him and spills all her marital problems. If this is the way to resolve marital issues then 90% of marriages are in big trouble. Let's assume she didn't cheat, how would it look if the guy's family members or friends witnessed such occurrences? This is Africa, we need to forget all this mumbo jumbo western ideologies about love and emotional needs as an excuse for flirting. If a wife is feeling unloved the best and most sincere way to change things is to communicate with her husband, respect him enough to be open with him instead of playing childish games which jeopardizes the entire marriage!

Did u read this line at all - 'if she is cheating on you to do that, it is obviously wrong' ?

Daslim180 you are a replicate of freelance777...

I pray your future wife does not suffer the same fate as treese.

Wicked

pretydiva:
Op 2 say d truth,u stil don't ve any proof 2 show ur wife is cheating on u wit her ex,or ve u caught dem red handed Buh dat ur wife get mind shall..hw can a married woman leave her matrimonial home 2 go cook 4 somebody else's hubby

Can't d man cook himself, or go 2 any eatery 2 eat?. Marriages of these days dey tire person I swear. Op I 'd advice u give her d benefit of doubt. Watch her closely n also threaten 2 divorce her if eventually ur suspicion comes tru

what more proof does he need,the op should send the b!tch parking...nonsense lady,some men can tolerate sha.

Wish I had something to contribute here but I'm lost for words. Read a couple of very wonderful pieces of advise. I guess @ op needs to add dem up and mak his conclusions. So help you God

Something is definitely wrong with you and the person you supported..your brain needs real resetting..what a useles and senseless advice..

Tobiegal:


Finally some real sense!

What do you think you are doing snooping around her phone... talkless of impersonating her... Would you have taken it likely if it were the other way around?!how can u tell a man he doesn't have a right to his wifes phone or privacy..Do u think marriage is boyfrnd and girlfriend?? So he should sit back and act as if nothing is happening so dat she would go ahead and continue her evil ways without disturbance..u are very very silly for blaming the man..silly girls like u are the type that don't mind if their husband is away from them on a trip for a long time so dat they can have the freedom to do whatever they want.and probably bleep all the guys she wants to bleep..Useless ladies every were..

OP would advise you the same as i would advise a woman in your shoes...

You need to stop snooping around her phone with the mind of finding something? if only you have got a 6-10 job, this would be the least of your concern...

Please, sit her down when she's in a good mood, and talk to her nicely... if that doesnt work... talk to someone she respects... if da doesnt work.... seek the Lord in Prayers! Nobi only woman sabi pray for man.... you should also learn to pray for your woman...if the marriage really means anything to you!

And about the ring removal? what was your own reason for doing away with your own? You were enjoying, feeling fly like a young bachelor.... abi... tau! the tables have turned... she's an after 2 funky babe.... and you are here shouting all over the place... abegi! u tik its easy to born 2 and still look funky ba? na the result of ya attitude you dey see so.... please, free the babe jere...

pls if u have to judge, judge rightly. did u see where she wrote that when she brings up an issue, the guy increases the volume of his music?.i dont know why several people here think its all her fault. what will u pple gain if this marriage breaks up? For Gods sake how is she supposed to understand her husband if he doesnt open up for her to understand. kai God oooo....Marriage!?
why is it that no man pointed out to the guy that he removing his wedding ring was wrong no matter how bad the was?
why is it that no one pointed out to the guy that tit for tat is wrong?
pls any man considering marriage should know that your wife will only follow how u lead so lead aright. but i keep wondering how men think a leader should behave. christ said a leader is actually a servant. How on earth will love grow in this home if the man is not ready to communicate with his wife when yhere is an issue? how will they ever solve issues? if u want to be a leaders then be a leader in deed. a leader leads by example. also has any man reacted to the fact that this man has been communicating with his ex...who knows what happened too. i am not saying she is right but saying both of them have their part in this issue. i can only advocate that they settle this issue. the lady should stop everything the husband dislikes. i was really pissed off when i read her husband said she went to her ex house to cook. Ex?... Ex's House? thats a no no. A far as i know keeping communication with exes have only negative effects on a home but i know men will not agree with this. they think its only bad for a home when the wife is the one communicating with an ex.

@ OP, sir i beg u with God kindly sort this issue out with ur wife. Divorce hurts both parties. pls for the children sake. if u both accept that u arent perfect u'll both solve this issue. May God give u the wisdom to lead your home.

cococandy:
You guys need to work on your marriage ASAP.
You've shown her signs that you're not emotionally invested in the relationship and she's unknowingly in the look-out for something else.
If you don't do something now, it will clear in your eyes the moment she gets carried away enough to bed the fellow. She needs a serious wake up call.
Both of you.

instead of cheating or getting carried away to bed another fellow,it will be better divorce him and follow the one she loves,after all divorce is normal these days....and this is the reason most men don't stree themselves to get married.

Tobiegal:


Finally some real sense!

What do you think you are doing snooping around her phone... talkless of impersonating her... Would you have taken it likely if it were the other way around?!

OP would advise you the same as i would advise a woman in your shoes...

You need to stop snooping around her phone with the mind of finding something? if only you have got a 6-10 job, this would be the least of your concern...

Please, sit her down when she's in a good mood, and talk to her nicely... if that doesnt work... talk to someone she respects... if da doesnt work.... seek the Lord in Prayers! Nobi only woman sabi pray for man.... you should also learn to pray for your woman...if the marriage really means anything to you!

And about the ring removal? what was your own reason for doing away with your own? You were enjoying, feeling fly like a young bachelor.... abi... tau! the tables have turned... she's an after 2 funky babe.... and you are here shouting all over the place... abegi! u tik its easy to born 2 and still look funky ba? na the result of ya attitude you dey see so.... please, free the babe jere...

birds of the same feather

repogirl:
Your wife cannot communicate with you obviously, she is scared you would read the wrong meaning and jump into conclusion which you always do from all you have said.....

I agree that its wrong for her to keep these relationships but maybe you also over react when you find out about them. You are right in how you advice her against these men but try not to get her scared like you have caught her doing something she shouldnt be.

Make her safe in your home and let her be able to relate with you freely or you will scare her off into doing something you will both regret.


Your wife is also at fault and needs a good talking to but since you are the one here, its your own part I am focusing on.

smh

Something is definitely wrong with you and the person you supported..your brain needs real resetting..what a useles and senseless advice..

Tobiegal:


Finally some real sense!

What do you think you are doing snooping around her phone... talkless of impersonating her... Would you have taken it likely if it were the other way around?!The husband has every right to check his wifes phone.. Dats why he is her husband not her boyfriend..so u must me really insensitive and a very irresponisble lady for saying such.

OP would advise you the same as i would advise a woman in your shoes...

You need to stop snooping around her phone with the mind of finding something? if only you have got a 6-10 job, this would be the least of your concern...

Please, sit her down when she's in a good mood, and talk to her nicely... if that doesnt work... talk to someone she respects... if da doesnt work.... seek the Lord in Prayers! Nobi only woman sabi pray for man.... you should also learn to pray for your woman...if the marriage really means anything to you!

And about the ring removal? what was your own reason for doing away with your own? You were enjoying, feeling fly like a young bachelor.... abi... tau! the tables have turned... she's an after 2 funky babe.... and you are here shouting all over the place... abegi! u tik its easy to born 2 and still look funky ba? na the result of ya attitude you dey see so.... please, free the babe jere...

naijadeyhia:


Hello Nairaland i am also the wifes senior brother and i say we are ready for war. If you see how that man has been dealing with my sister eh. God punish devil today.


You whose post i quoted you be real okponu and itiboribo combined and raised to power 20

correct.. we go send her back sharply make she go join her papa we dont want her again

repogirl:

Yes, I said i was married and my husband doesnt have time to snoop through my phone or accuse why I am not wearing my ring, why?

Mutual trust garnered from frequent communication. If you dont have a certain trust and dependency in marriage, that marriage is a sham.

maybe you comport yourself to avoid unnecessary suspicion from your husband that's why he trusts you, but the op s wife is a direct opposite of you that's why he is worried.

sonofananimal1:
YOUR WIFE DEY BANG THOSE CAVE MEN. IF YOU GET SENSE, JUST DRIVE THAT ANIMAL OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW NOW AS WE SPEAK.


NAIJA WOMEN ARE WORST THAN ANIMALS

you are always correct,you always hit the nail on the head,mind you I'm your big fan

ahsekeena:
This is an example of a bad marriage,failed marriage,miserable marriage!



Anyama marriage!

Wahdahhell?!

the b!tch in wife disguise should be dumped.

Youngpo413:
the b!tch in wife disguise should be dumped.

I don't know why u are quoting me and calling someone's wife a beetch,do u think u and I share the same idea?


Please,u can make a comment without quoting me,thanx

all this nah stupid and useless story, this thing is simple kindly beg your husband you're sorry be honest with your self, if truly you love him to be honest you're very wrong, so fucking wrong how can you go ahead and cook for your ex? how can you be telling your ex the challenges you face in your husband house? who force you to get married? All this wedding ring self nah marriage stupidity so because your husband off his ring then you off yours? so nah because of the ring you get married right? i don't believe this story at all...

MarvellousGod:
Her own side of the story is on page 4... The guy doesn't wear his ring.. He also has phone intimacies with girls...


It's always right to hear from both sides...

Her account of his indecent conversations and encounters with girls online was vague and banal. There wasn't any clear cut description or mention of a particular incident. I call BS, just one of the many emotional blackmail girls always use.

misspicy:
Daslim108 you are a replicate of freelance777...

I pray your future wife does not suffer the same fate as treese.

Wicked

I pray he doesn't get a cheat like Treese for a wife.

abbey621:


Another crappy advice, let's think about this. Wife wants to prove a point to her husband, so she flirts with another man, cooks for him and spills all her marital problems. If this is the way to resolve marital issues then 90% of marriages are in big trouble. Let's assume she didn't cheat, how would it look if the guy's family members or friends witnessed such occurrences? This is Africa, we need to forget all this mumbo jumbo western ideologies about love and emotional needs as an excuse for flirting.

so are u saying african women dont have emotional needs? both sex have emotional needs abeg. dont downplay that of the ladies.

If a wife is feeling unloved the best and most sincere way to change things is to communicate with her husband, respect him enough to be open with him instead of playing childish games which jeopardizes the entire marriage!

did u read the pwrt she said the guy doesnt want to participate in discursions? that he increases the volume of his music?

Brother, this is a family issue, and I'd advice to treat it as such, with utmost maturity and respect. I bet you, how you're able to handle this situation, will go a long way in determining how your wife sees and respects you.

Sir, i respect u for this intelligent comment. i will reiterrate that the way he handles it will determine how ur wife sees u. he needs not be harsh but firm. but also if he isnt faithful himself how will this work ?

Finally, I'd like you to see this as a second chance to do something honourable. Take this chance, and save your marriage.

@OP pls save ur marriage. u are a head to direct and lead not to break.

Don't mind these guys advising you to do otherwise.. They've never been married, so they wouldn't know. There's no such thing as "Oh, I feel your pain" or "I understand". You can never really feel that pain of just throwing away your marriage, until you experience it yourself. Brother, show this lady why you're the man and why she should respect you forever. Go and make things right. Everybody deserves a second chance.

In conclusion brother, I'd advice you guys round off this 'talk' with at least, a very hot round of sex. It's very important. Trust me.

Good luck.

Cc: Freelance777[/quote]

egobetatoday:


did u read the pwrt she said the guy doesnt want to participate in discursions? that he increases the volume of his music?

It's no excuse! A guy that's willing to share his personal affairs on Nairaland shows that he's deeply concerned, he hasn't given up on his wife yet. Women are fond of making excuses such as he's not approachable, he won't listen and he doesn't have time; the reality is there were better options available to her than confiding in another man! Maybe I'm just old school but some things are just not done when married!

ideykwum:
You are definitely not married, and very immature! When you get married, you'd find that the foolish things of the world confound the wise! You'd find yourself doing what you may not expect! Don't be quick to criticise!

What da heck are you talking about ? There are times I wish I will read and don't comment because of puerile responses like this. As much as I criticize the modern day feminism, I realize that some people are called men by virtue of reproductive organs. What do you know about marriage or how many years of marriage do you have? Your demunitive intelligence did not dictate decorum to you when expressing an opinion in a public forum? Lack of exposure has robbed you of objectivity which you have gladly replaced with egocentric tantrums! I do not blame you for the condescending reply...the rain has allowed the eagle and chicken to share a common abode. Nonsense !!!!

Youngpo413:
you are always correct,you always hit the nail on the head,mind you I'm your big fan

ohh thank you. You just make my day.

Brytawon:


The house must be under fire now and may extend up to weeks but what I'm sure of is that after reading each other's flaws, mistakes and weakness something positive will come out of it. The husband has phlegmatic temperament and is only at his best when motivated my someone. Do the right things and make the right decisions.

Freelance777 and Treese I wish you guys the best in your marriage after this...
Remember, what makes both of you victorious is how you guys come out of this as CONQUERORS in defeating a broken home.

Sir, i salute u for ur intelligent advice.
pls how do pple get phlegmatics to talk self because I'm thinking that will really be a hard nut to crack.

if a guy sees himself as perfect and doesnt have any fault, what should the lady do?

abbey621:


It's no excuse! A guy that's willing to share his personal affairs on Nairaland shows that he's deeply concerned, he hasn't given up on his wife yet. Women are fond of making excuses such as he's not approachable, he won't listen and he doesn't have time; the reality is there were better options available to her than confiding in another man! Maybe I'm just old school but some things are just not done when married!

I v been asking d girl ds question, is it his unapproachable attitude that makes her to save ex number with code, makes her to roll with a neighbor despite her husband's warning, made her to cook for him and lied to her husband about it, made her to keep communication with her ex, made her to wear her wedding ring out in the morning only to keep it in d glove compartment.

Ladies just like this usless solidarity thing even if it does not make sense. Even their own husband can't take half of this things.