It was last year sept 1st 2014 that my younger sister who was just 16yrs brought a man to our house nd told us that she wants to marry him. Though at that time I was not around, was in my final year in school. We did all we could do to stop her from getting married then because we all know she was not ready yet and is very young to settle down at that age but all our advices fell on a deaf hear. Don't know what the guy have told her or brainwash her wit to make very adamant on the issue as he claim to be 29yrs thou we found out later he lied about his age. I was very much against it that I even stopped talkin to my sister but all I did didn't work because after every said and done she ended up doing her traditional marriage and I have no choice than to support her. The problem started that after few months of less than 2months, there was continuous complaint from the guy. My parents did all the could even I myself tried my own part for tins to work out between them, I constantly remained the guy that my sister is stil a small girl that he has to give her him to accept that she is now a married woman, cuz he was the one who agreed to tolerate her when we were telling him weda he wil be able to cope with a girl of her age. 5 months ago or so he sent my sister back home on the ground that my parents should help him train her a little that he will come back and take his wife, which the whole family agreed. But the story changed cuz each and every passing day story keeps coming out about the faithfulness of my sister, which I later discovered that the guy was the one who was instigating all the rumors cuz he wanted to marry anther woman. During the 1st few weeks of my sister stay at home, my mum discovered that she was pregnant and the told the guy, the idiot guy denied he was not responsible that she was not pregnant at his house. To cut the long story short, my sister is 5months pregnant now and she just turned 17 last month. And this guy has spoilt her future by marryin her and dumping her with pregnancy. And I can't sit and watch this happen, I need advice on whta to do cuz I hv alridy planned to take the case to court though am waiting for when the baby is delivered and DNA test is run and the baby is his, what I need from you guys is to help me with any human right strong lawyer contact who can help me in this case, because I want to make sure this guy pays darely for what he has done to my sister and my family, I wuld prefer a strong human right within the viccinity of ojo LGA of lagos state, pls admin notify me when I get reply on thisn pls no insults put yourself in my shoe and the 1st child/1st born, tanx in anticipation.

i dont tink dey is anytin u can do abt dis issue. U guys jst have to bear it, excerpt if u want to deal wit d guy illegaly- u no wat i mean.

And dat is d problem of women, all of dem got "fish-brain". As our parents dey tell us, "fly weh no dhe hear word, dhe follow dead body enter grave".
Am happy its happened to her, let her be a lesson to her children. I only pity d innocent unborn child. As for d mum, I no pity am anytin

Madam cold down. The fault is from your sister , if at that age she still can not decide what her future is, I wonder when she would start doing that. If she had value her education or what ever she had planned to become in life,that guy would not have succeed no matter what.

Now you see why sex edu0cation is so vital? I doubt she was educated on that.

donholy28:
Where I come from...we would flog senses into her head and beat brains into his head....u people's soft hand joined to ruin her future....first arrest the man and beat his brains in

lol

Eni a wi fun( she was warned) but like the proverbial stray dog she wouldn't listen..

Op I think you ll need the dna test to prove beyond reasonable doubt that the child is his as you ve earlier said

@op

First mistake was to allow your sister of that age out of your parents house in the name of marriage.

I would have suggested that the guy should be arrested for child abuse but since your parents have already collected bride price and observed traditional rite in marital terms, there is nothing much u can do.

You will only need to train her after child birth.

As for ur sister, it is good for her. She thought that she was a big babe and refused your advise, now her eyes don clear. I dont even know whot to blame sef. But u being enlightened n educated should have done more to ensure that such marriage didnt take place.

My dear, i feel ya pain. Am speechless. Am also a first child and siblings can be a pain in d ass somtyms. I advice u forget abt dealin wit ur sista's husband n tk cr of ur sister & her baby. she's still vry vry young n can still get her life bck on track. She brought it on herself n will learn her lessons.

Jst save yourself the stress and waste of money.Chill! cool down let your sister give birth peacefully and safely.. Then your parents could take away the child from her and send het back to school . She is still very young. Give her life a meaning.. Trust me the man will run back begging

You're just angry, calm down and thank your stars and whichever God you worship that the A.hole didn't beat the living daylight outta your sister or even maim or kill her. Let the stubborn girl bear the brunt of her thoughtless juvenile actions.

I should have suggested flogging her to gain some common sense, but that would be an abuse and coupled with her pregnancy ~~~~ .

Just let the guy be, your parents didn't help matters when they allowed the marriage to go on, so I wouldn't trust them to do something about the present situation.

Asking for human right lawyers?, may I ask whose rights was violated?

Your sister's husband hasn't done anything wrong under the Nigerian law. Getting a Lawyer is a total waste of time and money.

Let your sister deliver, do a DNA test to ascertain paternity and sue for child support and alimony.

I feel very pained reading this. I feel though, that the first time your sister came home with her then husband-to-be, a knock on her head, and a gun pointed at his head would have prevented all of this.

That been said, let be drop my advice. You guys can reach out to her husband's family and table the issue of abandonment before them. You never can tell, they may be able to talk some sense into him, and make him take up his responsibilities.

If all attempts at reconciliation fail though, she can proceed to institute a suit against him for upkeep when she has the baby. She should wait a few months at least first., to see if he comes around. You guys shouldnt worry about the DNA test. She was (still is) married to him when she got pregnant, so, there is a presumption in law that the child is his. If he denies it when you guys institute the suit, it would be his place to attempt dispelling that presumption by doing the DNA test, not your sister's.

May I add though that she/you cannot sue him for plucking her in her teens, marrying her traditionally, and 'dumping' her soon after. Things don't work that way. If he had kidnapped her, it would have been different. More so, she gave her consent and was married off traditionally, and with the consent of her parents- though given grudgingly.


You can call at the Federation of International Women Lawyers' office at 14/16 Makoko Road, off Herbert Macaulay Street, Yaba, Lagos, Nigeria, Lagos, Nigeria. I believe they will take the case up when it's ripe...and for free.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask and mention me.

#Sorry about everything. It will be fine in the end.

P.S: I am not an advocate of divorce. Do not read anything extra into what I've written here. Just read and interprete as-is. Thank you.

Bro, there is nothing you can do.In your words "paying dearly",am sorry but you will pay more to get this case to court.Do you want sound advice;let this slide...As a lesson to your sister.let her suffer for her attitude,she will be a better person if she is determined.Call a family meeting,tell your parents to bear it nomatter how painful.You may go into this case with anger and a heart full of vengeance without thinking properly and make mistakes.Easy does it my friend...support her with antenatal and post natal care accordingly.Let the peace of God find a place in your heart.

Godchild2015:
Madam cold down. The fault is from your sister , if at that age she still can not decide what her future is, I wonder when she would start doing that. If she had value her education or what ever she had planned to become in life,that guy would not have succeed no matter what.

Now you see why sex edu0cation is so vital? I doubt she was educated on that.

I disagree with you putting the blame on the sister alone. I blame the entire family that could not guide the SMALL girl on the decision she made to marry at age 16, I blame the family for doing the traditional marriage for that girl, for accepting the boy as a son in-law, for accepting his family as in-laws, for accpting whatever they bring as bride price even for the op to support girl she share from the blame, for the boy or is he a guy or a man to sent the girl home for a training is in a way insulting the entire family. I don't mean to insult but I can find other way to describe the whole family than MUMUs.

Why are you fighting an already lost battle? There is no wisdom in your plans to engage a human rights lawyer, what exactly is your sisters husband getting sued for? Marriage is about choices..

Your whole family made an irresponsible decision and that is the blunt truth, the last time I checked a 16 year old is not considered an adult and marriage demands a lot of intellectual maturity, but because she was stubborn and maybe for other beneficial reasons she was led to slaughter and you all conceded and are now crying foul as if that is not enough your parents accepted your sister back into the house on the guise of training her, that was the space the husband needed and he got it.

The husband would inevitably remarry as the idiot is not willing to continue with your sister, I would advice you and your family cut your losses and move on, if he ever comes back for her, great but if otherwise please help your sister move on, this experience is very important for her development, when we make decisions we must accept the responsibility of the outcome of the decisions we make, learn from them and move on.

The money you are planning to engage a lawyer with, please save the money to help support your sister, whenever the child is born, your parents can redeem themselves from such horrendous decision by helping your sister raise the child while she rehabilitates her emotions and prepare for the future, best scenario, she goes back to school, complete a degree and hopefully become successful to prove to the idiot that she was worth more.

My people say pickin way dey awake for night because e wan chop something, if e chop am, e go sleep.

Your sister don sleep because e don chop wetin make am dey awake.

Who gave the 16yrs old girl the guts, the temerity, the audacity, the impetus, the boldness and fearlessness to talk about marriage let alone acting on it?

Anyways when a child is scolded with the left hand, you use the right hand to bring her back.

There is nothing you can do at the moment. Just save the money for Paternity test. If the result is positive/ negative, it doesn't matter.

What matters is giving your younger sister a meaning in life through education. From there, other things will follow. Suing him does not make sense because it was a mutual consent considering the fact that traditional marriage was performed. Which is legal in Nigeria.

Assuming it was abroad your dad, mum and the guy would have been arrested for giving a minor out in marriage.

Phema:
Your sister's husband hasn't done anything wrong under the Nigerian law. Getting a Lawyer is a total waste of time and money.

Let your sister deliver, do a DNA test to ascertain paternity and sue for child support and alimony.

They are in for a serious issue. I doubt if they will be willing to pay for such service.

I think d op should plan with his parents how to take care of the young girl after delivery. Like I said earlier, her eyes don open.

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what in the world was ur sister thinking getting married at 16? what the hell? where were your parents? she is still a child at 16, how did u allow this shiit? how come none of u were unable to talk sense into her or tell the guy to fk off? . now he got her pregnant, sent her back home and got another woman. he came to ruin her life and y'all just sat there and watched. u better do a DNA test when she has the baby and sue him for child support.

donholy28:
Where I come from...we would flog senses into her head and beat brains into his head....u people's soft hand joined to ruin her future....first arrest the man and beat his brains in

so in your simple mind violence is the solution to her immaturity. You better investigate who impregnated her and find out why the man took off



Because if he knew he cannot cope with an immature girl why did he marry her. I'm suspecting the dude is a pedophile X

aflyingbird:
what in the world was ur sister thinking getting married at 16? what the hell? where were your parents? she is still a child at 16, how did u allow this shiit? how come none of u were unable to talk sense into her or tell the guy to fk off? . now he got her pregnant, sent her back home and got another woman. he came to ruin her life and y'all just sat there and watched. u better do a DNA test when she has the baby and sue him for child support

if they sue him they are also implicating themselves because in the cause of investigation they will be labelled accomplices of child marriage, which you people are anyway because a 16 year old girl is supposed to be thinking of how to sit for waec exams. She knows nothing about her body talk more of being a mother at 16.


the pedophile husband just took advantage of the fact that she's a smallie with stewpeed and unfirm family who can't protect her and wake her up from her foolishness

he probably is a closet paedophile. he only went abt it by marrying her. now since he has gotten what he wanted and has used her, he dumped her n got someone else.

SAMBARRY:
so in your simple mind violence is the solution to her immaturity. You better investigate who impregnated her and find out why the man took off



Because if he knew he cannot cope with an immature girl why did he marry her. I'm suspecting the dude is a pedophile X

if the DNA results prove that he is the Father, they can sue him for child support

SAMBARRY:
if they sue him they are also implicating themselves because in the cause of investigation they will be labelled accomplices of child marriage, which you people are anyway because a 16 year old girl is supposed to be thinking of how to sit for waec exams. She knows nothing about her body talk more of being a mother at 16.


the pedophile husband just took advantage of the fact that she's a smallie with stewpeed and unfirm family who can't protect her and wake her up from her foolishness

All this disgusting pedophiles every where using marriage to perpetuate their repulsive acts on little girls should have their brains checked. Shey he didn't know that a 16 year old girl can't even take care of herself let alone manage an infant and another growby baby


he has achieved his aim of having sex with her anyway in the guise of marriage so he's through with her no need crying over broken egg.

If you people have your senses intact you'll take her for d n c and then send her back to school

aflyingbird:
they can sue him for child support

in nigeria



You need to come to nigeria if you are not in nigeria

aflyingbird:
if the DNA results prove that he is the Father, they can sue him for child support

in nigeria even if a thief is caught there's no guarantee of him going to jail. Speaking of which if her family members are not agbayas how can a grown man keselese and ask for the hands of a 16 year old in marriage.


its not even an issue worthy of discussion. Just take broom and sweep his legs out with curses. They have now seen the consequences and the pedi still has the effrontery to send her back home for training. Is it poverty or what,

they can't sue him? you mean this man is going to scot-free? this is infuriating

maybe they can publish this story in a paper. if they can't get child support out of him, at least they can let everyone know what a monster he is.

SAMBARRY:
in nigeria



You need to come to nigeria if you are not in nigeria

SAMBARRY:
so in your simple mind violence is the solution to her immaturity. You better investigate who impregnated her and find out why the man took off



Because if he knew he cannot cope with an immature girl why did he marry her. I'm suspecting the dude is a pedophile X

so disciplining a child is now violence.... no wonder children of nowadays no get common sense

aflyingbird:
he probably is a closet paedophile. he only went abt it by marrying her. now since he has gotten what he wanted and has used her, he dumped her n got someone else.

I can't just imagine wura becoming 16 and you're talking about marriage. Na better blazing hot water I will baptize you with and shout thief on your jead

well, if the thief happens to be a politician, someone already rich or who has contacts, of course he won't go to jail. but an ordinary person will. with the way they set pple on fire these days, they might even do that

idk what the fk her family was thinking. everything about this story pisses me off. the moment she told them.she wanted to marry, one hot slap would reset her brain back to factory settings. they should made the man himself realize there was no way in hell he was going to marry their child. 16-yr olds are just in the 11th grade, thinking about what college they want to attend. that's how i know this sonofagun didn't love her or have good intentions cuz he didn't even say "oh wait o, finish your secondary school and go to college na, you're still a kid". of all the pple his age he could've gotten ( he even lied about his age, he's older than 29 ) it had to be a child.

SAMBARRY:
in nigeria even if a thief is caught there's no guarantee of him going to jail. Speaking of which if her family members are not agbayas how can a grown man keselese and ask for the hands of a 16 year old in marriage.


its not even an issue worthy of discussion. Just take broom and sweep his legs out with curses. They have now seen the consequences and the pedi still has the effrontery to send her back home for training. Is it poverty or what,

fobiflex:
It was last year sept 1st 2014 that my younger sister who was just 16yrs brought a man to our house nd told us that she wants to marry him. Though at that time I was not around, was in my final year in school. We did all we could do to stop her from getting married then because we all know she was not ready yet and is very young to settle down at that age but all our advices fell on a deaf hear. Don't know what the guy have told her or brainwash her wit to make very adamant on the issue as he claim to be 29yrs thou we found out later he lied about his age. I was very much against it that I even stopped talkin to my sister but all I did didn't work because after every said and done she ended up doing her traditional marriage and I have no choice than to support her. The problem started that after few months of less than 2months, there was continuous complaint from the guy. My parents did all the could even I myself tried my own part for tins to work out between them, I constantly remained the guy that my sister is stil a small girl that he has to give her him to accept that she is now a married woman, cuz he was the one who agreed to tolerate her when we were telling him weda he wil be able to cope with a girl of her age. 5 months ago or so he sent my sister back home on the ground that my parents should help him train her a little that he will come back and take his wife, which the whole family agreed. But the story changed cuz each and every passing day story keeps coming out about the faithfulness of my sister, which I later discovered that the guy was the one who was instigating all the rumors cuz he wanted to marry anther woman. During the 1st few weeks of my sister stay at home, my mum discovered that she was pregnant and the told the guy, the idiot guy denied he was not responsible that she was not pregnant at his house. To cut the long story short, my sister is 5months pregnant now and she just turned 17 last month. And this guy has spoilt her future by marryin her and dumping her with pregnancy. And I can't sit and watch this happen, I need advice on whta to do cuz I hv alridy planned to take the case to court though am waiting for when the baby is delivered and DNA test is run and the baby is his, what I need from you guys is to help me with any human right strong lawyer contact who can help me in this case, because I want to make sure this guy pays darely for what he has done to my sister and my family, I wuld prefer a strong human right within the viccinity of ojo LGA of lagos state, pls admin notify me when I get reply on thisn pls no insults put yourself in my shoe and the 1st child/1st born, tanx in anticipation.

Don't deal with the idiot guy using violence use human rights people.i really feel your pain as I have a younger sis and am the first born

Gaborone:
I feel very pained reading this. I feel though, that the first time your sister came home with her then husband-to-be, a knock on her head, and a gun pointed at his head would have prevented all of this.

That been said, let be drop my advice. You guys can reach out to her husband's family and table the issue of abandonment before them. You never can tell, they may be able to talk some sense into him, and make him take up his responsibilities.

If all attempts at reconciliation fail though, she can proceed to institute a suit against him for upkeep when she has the baby. She should wait a few months at least first., to see if he comes around. You guys shouldnt worry about the DNA test. She was (still is) married to him when she got pregnant, so, there is a presumption in law that the child is his. If he denies it when you guys institute the suit, it would be his place to attempt dispelling that presumption by doing the DNA test, not your sister's.

May I add though that she/you cannot sue him for plucking her in her teens, marrying her traditionally, and 'dumping' her soon after. Things don't work that way. If he had kidnapped her, it would have been different. More so, she gave her consent and was married off traditionally, and with the consent of her parents- though given grudgingly.


You can call at the Federation of International Women Lawyers' office at 14/16 Makoko Road, off Herbert Macaulay Street, Yaba, Lagos, Nigeria, Lagos, Nigeria. I believe they will take the case up when it's ripe...and for free.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask and mention me.

#Sorry about everything. It will be fine in the end.

P.S: I am not an advocate of divorce. Do not read anything extra into what I've written here. Just read and interprete as-is. Thank you.

NL do have very intelligent people. I just followed you, pls folloe back.