Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,159,269 members, 7,839,348 topics. Date: Friday, 24 May 2024 at 05:23 PM

How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? (17377 Views)

Teenager Gives Birth At Ilu Iboro Without Being Aware Of Pregnancy (photos) / Woman Stabs Teenager Over ‘husband-snatching’ Scandal In Ghana (photo) / Why Rebellious Kids Make More Money Later In Life - see reasons. (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Chimeluv(f): 12:43pm On Aug 06, 2015
Let the teenager take decisions and learn from the consequences of such decisions, sometimes people treat teenagers as little kids and expect them to obey every rule without questioning it and some of them can't confide in their parents that's why they sometimes become rebellious

2 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by sirkezman: 12:44pm On Aug 06, 2015
lol typical nigerian

calculator123:
prayer is key it might b a demon leading d teen in doing such

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by MadCow1: 12:44pm On Aug 06, 2015
xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?


Whip and love
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Nobody: 12:51pm On Aug 06, 2015
olu4life:
I recently read a book dealing with this matter. Truth is that most Nigerian parents handle adult children wrongly. Lemme give some tips perhaps could be of help to some of us.
Firstly, u dont dictate to an adult child from age 13 upwards. There is what we call supervisory and cooperative parenting.
Make the child ur friend, let him/her trust u to a particular level. Build a relationship with the child. Communication is key here.

Also seek d opinion of d child on things that affect the family. Likewise correct and chastise in LOVE.

Encourage the child to bring his/her friends home. This is very crucial, its better u are comfortable seein ur child's friend in ur house than disallowing it. Giving it room for ur child to keep bad company.

Lastly issue of prayer cant be over-emphasized. Pray together with the child.

Well this are basic points I think can help some

Cc xynerise

Pls share the Title, author of the book?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Blackfire(m): 12:55pm On Aug 06, 2015
@op you see a lion attack a zebra today, but u see the same lion look away from a zebra tomorrow.
What is the cause? Can teenagers be liken to that?.... Yes.

U need one of tyler perry's film (i will tell u the title when i remeber it).

all these have been the cause of teenager's waywardness:
THE ROOT: the parents handling of there children, do u know no the evil some children does they will even praise them,from there it grows, or that the parents are bad role model.
THE ENVIRONMENT,:how can u allow a child to watch blue film and ask her not to practicallised it,the friends of your child,do u know them.
THE EXPERIMENT,;this the age nearly everybody on NL got disvirgined.
THE ILLUSSION,:how do u tell someone he/she is been duped,that is how u handle her.
THE CORRECTION:.....
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by olu4life(m): 12:55pm On Aug 06, 2015
zoelife:


Pls share the Title, author of the book?
Parenting Adult Children!!! By Bisi & Yomi Adewale. Also has other series on Parenting Preteens, toddlers etc

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Opiosko: 1:01pm On Aug 06, 2015
xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?
Well first thing first.
You must realise that stubbornness/rebellion is a spirit and it takes only a higher spirit to brake it.
Set rules and enforce em to the letter... be a bit flexible to allow for some unpredictability.
Discipline, not punishment, is more effective tool.


I am speaking from experience.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Nobody: 1:05pm On Aug 06, 2015
Atk01:

Well, much as I'm all for respecting people's wishes, sometimes you don't have a choice. It's better to go against their wish before they finally go out of control.
Calabar women and hair
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Nobody: 1:16pm On Aug 06, 2015
olu4life:

Parenting Adult Children!!! By Bisi & Yomi Adewale. Also has other series on Parenting Preteens, toddlers etc

Tks a lot.

Noted!

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by castro316: 1:20pm On Aug 06, 2015
End time things. It is said that on the last days children shall be disobedient to their parents. Concerned about only themselves.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Kennedyiheme: 1:24pm On Aug 06, 2015
As long as he or she is 18, all u hve to do is advice, you'll be a coward to advice ur son not to have sex at d age of 18 when u had it at 16 without ur parents knowin...the best tin to do is taalk to him like a freind, let him feel confortable with u,advice him to be wise that's all, the moment u start shoutin and being aggresive to him, it wld jst make it worse...the fact is parents donr understand tht there are sometins that are inevitable, imagine my freinds mom told him not to engage in sex, and he is 22, to be honest tht isn't wise...african parents dnt knw hw to go abt stuff like dis, there are ways of handling parental issues than scolding and beating....and please don't quote tht bible verse that says "spare a rod and spoil the child" who knws if we are misinterpreting that, we have all heard of cases were mothers beat there child to death

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by kaliyu97(m): 1:29pm On Aug 06, 2015
Give he/she a wife/husband grin
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Nobody: 1:40pm On Aug 06, 2015
hvq229:


Her mother has been trying to teach her those things talking to her about the immorality of premarital sex and the practical risks of it- the disease the unwanted pregnancies-- trouble is the child doesn't think any of that is going to affect her. Further we don't trust this boy. He is from what I've been told irresponsible and the minute he gets her pregnant as he's done other girls I'm told abandon her

Her mother wants me to flog her. I may do it tomorrow. Her aunt will be over and she can help get the child ready without having to involve her mother- I like for her mother to talk with her afterwards. We're responsible for her safety, moral upbringing, and welfare. Maybe the caning won't work but I think we may have to try
i cn remember one of my Church member dat became rebelious,his mum took him to serious rehab.......... wen d guy came out........he was so respectfull dat he prostrates to greet his elders........ i believe u should take her for serious rehab... .....wen i mean serious.... i mean were dey will beat and talk sense to her life and he Christian one at dat........... i think Keji Hamilton runs a rehab like dat
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by pragmatistm(m): 1:41pm On Aug 06, 2015
Several articles here on how to train up your teenagers:


www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/couples-parents/


http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201301/communicating-with-teenagers/

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201305/discipline-your-teenager/


http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20110201/moral-values-children/
http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201303/set-rules-for-your-teenager/

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20131101/talk-to-your-teenager-without-arguing/

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201311/talk-to-your-teen-about-sexting/

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20090501/preparing-teens-for-adulthood/

http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20080801/communicating-with-adolescents/


http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20101101/talk-to-your-children-about-sex/


http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201402/teenage-daughter-stressed-out/




http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201405/teach-teens-internet-safety/

The articles are practical and mamy have found them very helpful in their family.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by blackjack21(m): 1:45pm On Aug 06, 2015
xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?


must teenager are rebellious especially, when they think their parent are their source of problem.
i was rebellious too: ....................................it's along story and their is no subtitle.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Nobody: 1:45pm On Aug 06, 2015
EggovinMma:


My father /mother got tired of using the cane after they found out that it does nothing to reset my brain.I begin to undergo counselling from my parents, relatives and respected family friefriends.Not all kids like the rod, infact it made me more rebellious and stubborn like a he goat.
dey no carry u go provost na y.... assuming dey carry u go provost..... i hear say u no get sense.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by mmsen: 1:50pm On Aug 06, 2015
If you have open channels of communication with your child from day one then you will find it easier to emphasize with them. Sadly, a lot of Nigerian parents fail to see their own children as human beings.

The only 'rebellious' child is one that is going out of its own way to sabotage him/herself.

Beating a child is dumb parenting.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by blakky97(m): 1:53pm On Aug 06, 2015
xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?
bring 2 or 3 stronger people who they are senior to.

let the junior ones live in the same house with him.

let them be well behaved, focused, disciplined and intelligent.

the foolish senior will inevitably follow their lead.

humans are known to behave better when they have something to loose.

if he/ she doesnt buckle up, he/she will loose the respect of his junior ones.

seeing that he cant beat them, he'll join them.

same with stubborn wifes. just marry a better one.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by jomoh: 2:17pm On Aug 06, 2015
xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?

If after much advise and talks he/she still refuse to change,
send him/her to a Military academy or a juvenile home. Instruct them that its strictly for correction.

Or

Better still, identify what stimulates his behaviour and send him to a place where he will get a mixture of seriousness and very little of what stimulates him. When he finds out that the new environment is not up to his standards and they are not willing to go all the way with him, he'll most likely change.

Note that the place you'll sent him/her to must be a place he/she won't be free to do anyhow but they must not be on his/her case all the time.

Though it is by the grace of God that he/she would change because teenagers don't know how to think and don't have time reason over what they are told.

They simply act randomly most times.
xynerise:

Against his or her wish?

Teenagers don't really know what's best for them. They act on impulse and if/when the impulse is not set right early enough it becomes an habit that will be very hard to control.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by omoharry(f): 2:32pm On Aug 06, 2015
Truckpusher:
It's time to bring that boy or girl closer to you and show them some respect,let them make some decisions for themselves and let them have their way sometimes else you're starting a war you'll surely lose.I had this same problem with my Dad as a teen and it was purely based on control and who says what you wear and where you go.

Every teenager wants to be seen as an independent personality from their parents wish and some decisions at a point . In as much as I still believe that they can't have it their own way all the time ,there should be some form of freedom else that child would ask for that freedom with the use of force and resentment for his or her parents.

Imagine being mocked by friends that you can only leave your house whenever your Dad releases you from his cage - This would infuriate a 15yrs old boy and he would do something just to be respected by his peer group in the school and neighborhood and these are the little things that some parents don't just understand.
which parent would give such freedom to a 15 years girl to move wherever she wishes to without parental guidance. which peer groups? at 15 i was not allowed to paint my nails and paint my face until i was done with secondary school. I so much looked forward to it back then. all this rubbish that i am seeing where parents allow their 12. 13 to 14 years girls to start dressing like adult is very bad. why wont he child rebel against you when she decide to stretch are luck further by going out for an all night party at 15 , why wont she slam the door on you just because you are telling her what is right...goodness. I still treasure our mothers days of parenting and not all the parenting i am seeing these days.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by hikmojj(m): 2:37pm On Aug 06, 2015
choosing a good wife/Husband...bringing them up is an environment free from social vices.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by bjcuntis(m): 2:42pm On Aug 06, 2015
Well, if u ask me I will say u should folgg d fucking daylight out of such child.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by bjcuntis(m): 2:42pm On Aug 06, 2015
Well, if u ask me I will say u should flog d fucking daylight out of such child.
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by cyaa: 3:21pm On Aug 06, 2015
winner01:
I quite agree, You might also have to warn the boy to stay away from her and cease her phones too ....Since she seems stubborn, spanking is also a good option. It would break her a little and the hopefully she can show some remorse and listen to advise....
I am afraid that will not break her but rather push her closer to the guy. This girl is probably craving love and attention and also thinks it is cool to have a boyfriend and have sex at that age.

Now, there is something . For most young people, the more you tell them to stay away from something , the more alluring the thing is and they do it. They are risk takers who like to break the rules and be adventurous.
The girl should be asked to invite the boy over to the house and they should both be treated nicely. Of course the guardians can use that opportunity to understand the situation better and keep close tabs. You can talk about safe sex with both of them ( better to be on the safe side than be in denial, of course emphasis on the A).

Get closer to the girl and create an environment (it could be telling her about your own past relationship adventures or just general boy-girl gossip) that would allow her to confide in you and with time you gently slip in advice.

Make sure at this point you show that girl love and keep her close to you even if you disapprove what she is doing at the moment.
Otherwise you might loose that girl forever.

2 Likes

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by ransomed: 3:30pm On Aug 06, 2015
Break the teenager's ego by denying him/her some luxury, change the academic environment from being a day student to boarding student. Make sure he/she does holiday jobs in factory and finally let him stay in an orphanage for three days. The rebellious teenager will turn to most obedient person. You can be rebellious only in your comfort zone, but when the ugly side of life "smiles" at you, the spirit of rebellion disappears.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Nobody: 4:14pm On Aug 06, 2015
Atk01:
Send such teen to a military academy.
Bro, the military academy produces soldiers who are naturally hardened and rebellious. So sending the child there will only complicate the issue. Am I wrong?

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by flyforall: 4:17pm On Aug 06, 2015
koboko....installing discipline and making teenagers pay for their actions since 1900
Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by emonkey(m): 4:18pm On Aug 06, 2015
xynerise:
Going through the developmental stages in life, some teens tend to take a wrong detour in life. Many teens are becoming rebellious to their parents and causing disunity in the family. Setting their own rules in the house and disrespecting anybody who tries to stop them from doing what they wish to do.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". Does this also applies to teenagers? I guess not. What other psychological ways can we correct this rebellion?

The only way is to resolve to be their FRIEND and not their PARENT.
Otherwise you may become enemies for life

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by Timothy3113(m): 4:35pm On Aug 06, 2015
emonkey:


The only way is to resolve to be their FRIEND and not their PARENT.
Otherwise you may become enemies for life
even though I like d way my parent disciplined me, till today I still dislike my dad for some things ( naturally d bond is not dere again). And he nos dat but it is too late.I dont forget things easily and rarely forgive. Don't cause eternal enemity between u and ur kid speaking from experience.

1 Like

Re: How Do You Control A Rebellious Teenager? by cecegorz(m): 4:38pm On Aug 06, 2015
zeb04:
spanking a 17yrs old girl who is already sexually active is not a good move. you have to be extremely careful at these stage.you want to win her over not drive her away.

let the dad or brother speak to her.there is a difference when a male speaks to her .

the reason I never had a boyfriend through out my uni days was because of my dad nd brothers not necessarily because of my mum's advice. all the talk about dignity as a lady nd how the only things these guy want from you is what's between your legs,"i am a guy too so I know what I am saying". and you listen to them because you know he is saying the truth.

also you pray for them.

No boyfriend throughout University?
Adonbilivit!
Were you a fellowship Pastor?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

It's Our One Year Wedding Anniversary / Would You Be Comfortable Having The Sex Talk With Your Kids? / What Was Your Baby's First Word?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 68
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.