my candid and sincere advice is that you forgive him but run as fast as your legs can carry you away from him. he is a policeman and I would rather trust and kiss a rattle snake than have him anywhere near me if I was you. he can kill you and take it all ohhh that's policeman for you.

The truth is that your brother IS not under any obligation to assist you guys.

That being said, i have a feeling he must have being of help to the family but it just wasnt enough because the problems wouldn't stop coming.
Your expectation of him became too high and the disappointment became too deep. Don't forget he is a salaried worker and things may also be hard for him.

I want you to see things from his point of view before you conclude that he was selfish and carefree.
Did he or did he not render assistance to the family at certain points?
Was he or was he not invited to the burial of your parents?

Lastly, you sound entitled. Please kill that sense of entitlement cos in this world, all man go answer hin last name.

daretodiffer:
You and your brother own the property. Regardless of what he has done you have no right to deny him off his father's property.

Give him what he deserves and move far away from him

he deserves nothing

lalasticlala:
I got this mail from a Nairalander. Please read and advise him accordingly. Thanks.

The unedited mail:


[i][/i]

Like u said bros. U are not God so u don't have any business hardening ur heart to 4giveness. All that for God. U on ur part just pray for ur bros, wish him luck and goodness then go ur way. Bros blood is thicker than water.

jessetom:
.I don't think God will be mad at you for not forgiving him.
He is an egotistical ungrateful bastard and not wordy to be called a brother.
Family is just a platform he wants to use to get back to you, so fu*k that sh*it!.

you spoke my mind, forgive him for your own sake but keep him at arms length. And don't forget what he did,he is not remorseful of what he did! He is only coming back for what he can get from you. His conscience is dead and I believe he can kill to get what he wants! Be kiaful!

There is nothing to forgive. U are not your brothers responsibility

op forgive him but don't get close to him so he won't poison u

Even your parents knew you were the only one to keep that family together. Don't disappoint them. I have sisters with this "me" attitude, but once they are in trouble, they run back home. Unlike you, i can't even hate them for one day cos i have come to understand that this is who they are, nothing will change it and i can't bare to see them suffer.

Alternatively, You have to teach ur bros to be you through your action towards them especially now that they need help. Blood is thicker than water. If they die today believe me, u will wish you helped when it was obvious they needed help.

lalasticlala:
I got this mail from a Nairalander. Please read and advise him accordingly. Thanks.

The unedited mail:


[i][/i]

bro please forgive him but don't allow him get half a kobo from ur Dads will.

Try and 4gv him, though it will b hard 4 u but still find a place in ur hrt n 4gv him, remember he is still ur bros, wit dis he will neva try that shit again,


police blood fit make am behave like that self........lolz

Forgive him but don't forget what he did to you all. It is obvious your brother is materialistic you sacrificed your education for him and he paid you in evil not only that he got a job and abandoned you all. To him you all are a means to an end, how else can you explain his sudden change of attitude now that money is involve knowing fully well he is not the administrator of it?

Don't fall prey this time he is after the money. You father was not dumb when he made you his next of kin.

Provide him with support but not at the expense of you all. Get educated and provide for your other siblings. Don't waste money on him. He is a graduate a police and can fend for himself. Consider the little ones with you you are their only hope. Such a man can kill to get the monies your father left you

HelenBee:
He has pushed you to the point where you don't care anymore. Forget all he did and forgive him...no matter what he is still your blood.

ogbeni don't forgive ; he abandoned U and ur Dad ;even ur mum who gave him breast to suck; it's bad to imagine; even if u actually forgive him be very carefull with him

Forgive him op,

Its due to his hardened heart, unforgiveness and wickedness your brother is seeing hardship.

Forgive him for Gods sake and yours because unforgiveness will take you thru a similar route and unforgivness is a sin.

Also perharps God saw his heart and knew he won't be a good canditate for ur dads next of kin....henece God made him show his true colors, so u will be chosen.

Be positive God has bigger plans for you.

I would forgive him if I am in your position because I don't like living with bitterness in my heart but I don't think I will welcome him into my life. He can't even visit me without calling first and can't spend the night. If it's true that he really had accident and he's broke I would support him to the level I can but that's how far I will go. I can't go the extra length to inconvenient my self for this kind of brother. And don't forget he's coming back because he heard his younger brother is the next of kin to his late father so he must not know any financial details.

You called yourself a christian and yet, forgiveness, is not in your dictionary. Religious people are the worse hypocrits!

Yes, your brother should have helped but he didn't owe you. That you're his brother doesn't mean he's indebted to you.

I help my relatives because I'm financially ok and wish to do so, NOT because I owe them.

ocheejemb:
So basically, his brother's great offence was not picking calls?

You know how cold it feels to be in this guys shoe?

His brain and mind becomes altered due to neglects towards him from someone he dropout to see through his school day.

With the above, he's to pick responsibilities ASA he gets a job, regardless of his earnings, this will go a long way in showing he's got his family at heart.

My candid advice to the OP.

Forgiving him isn't that difficult but to have to relate with him can be choking. When he calls, pick but use inquisitive tones and all put him where he belong-outside your perceived family.

My points is Relations with him is now optional. But forgive him.

just forgive ur broda ....dat is human being for u...

angelofurlife:
he deserves nothing

Who are you to tell a son that he deserves nothing from HIS FATHER's properties

Who the hell is the brother to tell his brother that he deserves nothing from HIS FATHER's PROPERTIES



Next of kin does not mean shit. He is the next of kin because he is the eldest.


If he likes, let him deny his brother his rightful inheritance. I will not blink an eye if the brother decides to harm him

free2ryhme:
Forgive him but don't forget what he did to you all. It is obvious your brother is materialistic you sacrificed your education for him and he paid you in evil not only that he got a job and abandoned you all. To him you all are a means to an end, how else can you explain his sudden change of attitude now that money is involve knowing fully well he is not the administrator of it?

Don't fall prey this time he is after the money. You father was not dumb when he made you his next of kin.

Provide him with support but not at the expense of you all. Get educated and provide for your other siblings. Don't waste money on him. He is a graduate a police and can fend for himself. Consider the little ones with you you are their only hope. Such a man can kill to get the monies your father left you

How doers next of kin translate to sole inheritor of his father's property. legally

It is not his properties. It is their Father's. They have the same equal claim to the property if their father did not leave a will

Vig86:
Just be sure he is not coming back to question the property that your dad bequeathed to you. Some people are unrepentant 'hurters'. They will hurt you till they know your generations can never match them for ever. We are four in a family, but right now, I crack my brain to remember the name of the second to the first child. I have come to the conclusion that being brothers, sisters, uncles, nephews, nieces and cousins, are just biological accidents but my immediate elder brother has proven me wrong. He loves me with every cell in his body.

It is their properties

sonofananimal:
eeediot! For God to forgive ya sins and say forgive others just as I have forgiven ya

So you know the MIND of God ABI why are you turning the word upside down to suit this situation?

I'm sure you have even done worst than him but coming here to talk RUBBISH.

Religion have also taught us that God go forgive you o, but if you do too much, if you nor repent, if you no "sincerely" ask for forgiveness(which we all that the bro is coming for selfish reasons) or show remorse sef, God go screw you and if e extend till judgment, he go cast you into lake of fire.
So thats it. This guy don doo too much, without feeling remorseful, so cast the motherfu*ker into lake of fire let him to burn and rut in hell !!!!.
Moreso, this forgiveness concept is making people irresponsible and careless. I go sin, then ask for forgiveness, then sin again and the loop continues. That's why I love the karma concept. #hard_truth.

TL;DR : God forgiveness is given to those who repent and sincerely ask for it, and also is limited(till you die). So, the bro have not regret what he did, so let him fu*k off!

I have similar experience ,
my advice to you,
(RUN AWAY FROM THEM)
they are planning to kill you,
You can leave without them
MARK MY WORDS

blood is thicker than zobo!! Forgive without blinking forget after blinking.....

daretodiffer:


How doers next of kin translate to sole inheritor of his father's property. legally

It is not his properties. It is their Father's. They have the same equal claim to the property if their father did not leave a will

If your read the ladies letter you wouldn't be asking me irrelevant questions

free2ryhme:


If your read the ladies letter you wouldn't be asking me irrelevant questions

I did but unlike you I am not daf.t and sentimental

This story is written in such a way to elicit overreaction from folks. Abegi

First of all, dude has no idea what his ASP brother has been going through over the years. Easy to judge and see the green grass on the other side.Having a job does not automatically mean suffering ends or dreams are realized immediately.

Also, the parents are the ones responsible for taking care of the family they created. If the sister dies of poisoning, neglect and rejection, or whatever the author thinks, he should look at his parents for that. It's their responsibility, not his or his brothers.

FYI...Next of kin means nothing when you die a pauper. So no one should assume the brother is coming back for money or land.
If the author doesn't want to forgive, that's his wahala and bitterness. I see nothing to it. But it seems he needs his brother more than he realizes. Not necessarily for the money, but emotional support.

daretodiffer:
You and your brother own the property. Regardless of what he has done you have no right to deny him off his father's property.

Give him what he deserves and move far away from him

His brother has no right because policemen has no right in heaven and on earth because of their wickedness.He left his parents to suffer and die as a result of his wickedness. His father had to will his property to the ONLY son who truly gave him something when he was alive.

Now that he is having problem, he wants to reconcile with his family.No way.His brother can forgive him but has to be careful because he is dealing with devil who can also kill him in order to have the property.Who knows whom he has killed or gave false information in his line of duty that sent the person to early grave or prison hence he is going through this present problems.

Just allow him be and move on with your life.You can assist him the little you can and forgive him but must have your two eyes open in order to checkmate him.

andyanders:


His brother has no right because policemen has no right in heaven and on earth because of their wickedness.He left his parents to suffer and die as a result of his wickedness. His father had to will his property to the ONLY son who truly gave him something when he was alive. Now that he is having problem, he wants to reconcile with his family.No way.His brother can forgive him but has to be careful because he is dealing with devil who can also kill him in order to have the property.Who knows who he killed or gave false information that sent the person to early grave or prison.Just allow him be and move on with your life.You can assist him the little you can and forgive him but must have your two eyes open in order to checkmate him.

What nonsense? I blame him trying to reconcile with his family

If I were him, I would walk into MY FATHER'S COMPOUND and DEMAND MY RIGHT

Legally, morally o, everything lly- he has a claim to that property. His father did not disinherit therefore NO ONE ON THIS EARTH can BAR him from HIS FATHER'S PROPERTIES



This is how people cause unnecessary wahala on top[ inheritance matter

However I am not saying that he is a good person or worthy to be reconciled with but you cannot bar him from his rightful share of HIS FATHER'S PROPERTIES

[quote author=lalasticlala post=40499535]I got this mail from a Nairalander. Please read and advise him accordingly. Thanks.

The unedited mail:


[i][/i][/quote

Like ShakurM said, forgive him, help him, do that at arms length (at a very long distance), you may never know his intentions towards you, since your old man named you his next of kin and not him. I don't think he will be happy with the info. As for me, I feel he has something crazy thoughts up his sleeve... Do all I have told you, build a life, get a wife, raise some kids and enjoy the sweat of your labour. All the best man!

daretodiffer:


I did but unlike you I am not daf.t and sentimental

It is a pity that you are pained and need someone to share your pity

Well sorry try front

daretodiffer:


What nonsense? I blame him trying to reconcile with his family

If I were him, I would walk into MY FATHER'S COMPOUND and DEMAND MY RIGHT

Legally, morally o, everything lly- he has a claim to that property. His father did not disinherit therefore NO ONE ON THIS EARTH can BAR him from HIS FATHER'S PROPERTIES



This is how people cause unnecessary wahala on top[ inheritance matter

However I am not saying that he is a good person or worthy to be reconciled with but you cannot bar him from his rightful share of HIS FATHER'S PROPERTIES

Listen my sister.When a Will is made and you are exempted from that Will, you have no moral / legal right after any inheritance left by the deceased. Some people die and will their property to their dogs.The court has the document of a will made by the deceased and when his name is not written, he has no legal right over any of his late father's property.

Take note of that.Culture or no culture, legal proceeding has been taken when the documents for the will has been prepared by the late man and authenticated by the court or notary public.

andyanders:


Listen my sister.When a Will is made and you are exempted from that Will, you have no moral / legal right after any inheritance left by the deceased. Some people die and will their property to their dogs.The court has the document of a will made by the deceased and when his name is not written, he has no legal right over any of his late father's property.

Take note of that.Culture or no culture, legal proceeding has been taken when the documents for the will has been prepared by the late man and authenticated by the court or notary public.

Where in the story did the man will his properties to the eldest son?

He is basically the administrator of the properties therefore a trustee of his brother's share of the properties




Well, court modifies wills all the time