eyinjuege:
My goodness!

I saw the title of this post hours ago and I just zoomed past writing it off as the usual NL fluke.

This is the most sensible post I've read on NL in ages.

Thank you for this.

Most Africans are expressive and shouting screaming is all ways of expressing their grief. However, most have never really thought of the feelings of the sick person, and how to make the transition of the terminally ill seamless.

Dying shouldn't be too scary especially for someone who probably knows hes dying if those around them can be calm and lucid enough to make the process smooth and peaceful.

I just love the openess of Some cultures about death, but it still spooky wen they advertise funeral insurance asking folks to pay for their funerals expense in advance .

Aunty Bebe thanks for sharing this and giving us another life lesson to learn.

I work in a Palative Unit where terminally ill patients are being comforted till their last day . So I get it. But like Tearoses emphasized, it's a culture thing, I tried to let people understand this fact but we have a long way to go.

I read about a UK doctor this morning, that was fired because he kept referring his terminally ill patients to TB Joshua for 'permanent healing'

What they don't understand is that when Death comes knocking , there's no going back, fact but very true.

May God help us all.

bebe2:


i forgot to add, most people here get cremated, dont really know why , i guess its becos of the land shortage.

That is my request- Cremation. It has nothing to do with land shortage.

Then spread my ashes to ogunpa river so my enemies can sniff it in their brains. Hehe hehe

bebe2, lovely and emotionally-deep piece.

I'm a little bit curious as to why you tagged me in the OP though, I could swear I did not see my moniker there when I read it earlier.

crackhaus:
bebe2, lovely and emotionally-deep piece.

I'm a little bit curious as to why you tagged me in the OP though, I could swear I did not see my moniker there when I read it earlier.

I was chatting to Ewuro4, and I thot oh I shud tag some sensible pple in that thread , lol

Ewuro4:
Aunty Bebe thanks for sharing this and giving us another life lesson to learn.

I work in a Palative Unit where terminally ill patients are being comforted till their last day . So I get it. But like Tearoses emphasized, it's a culture thing, I tried to let people understand this fact but we have a long way to go.

I read about a UK doctor this morning, that was fired because he kept referring his terminally ill patients to TB Joshua for 'permanent healing'

What they don't understand is that when Death comes knocking , there's no going back, fact but very true.

May God help us all.




That is my request- Cremation. It has nothing to do with land shortage.

Then spread my ashes to ogunpa river so my enemies can sniff it in their brains. Hehe hehe

Hahaha u no dey disappoint

I knew u where a health care work never new it was palliative care, u must be very strong.

U need to see me crying dat day, our Rev and the man's wife were laughing at me. Thank God I had a scarf kept using it cover my face.

Lol @ the doctor's referal to TB Joshua,
Am sure u heard of the nurse that was screaming jesus while her patient was having a fit , I love my pple jare.

Think I will join the cremation crew, doesn't seem so bad afterall.

bebe2:




I was chatting to Ewuro4, and I thot oh I shud tag some sensible pple in that thread , lol

Ohhh, thank God... Lol

And here I thought you were trying to pass a message to me specifically regarding death and the after-life...my mind don cut before

bebe2:


It's lovely to know that u can think of ur dad and laugh about stuff he used do.

My brother and I are the same way, my brother remembers alot of my dad but I don't.

He said my dad will go and collect rent from tenants
and start counting the money on the dinning room table, then my step mum will come into the dinning room without knocking, my dad will jump off his chair shouting, why can't u knock before entering? By now he has quickly covered all the money with his agbada
my step mum will just look at him and quietly walk away, give her a few minutes and she will come back to say there is no food in the house oo, I need money. And my dad will start abother round of shouting but my step mum is always very calm but she gets wat she wants from him.

sharp man

Yeah it's so lovely to have those memories .. We miss Him a lot but that's life

crackhaus:

Ohhh, thank God... Lol

And here I thought you were trying to pass a message to me specifically regarding death and the after-life...my mind don cut before

No ooo, u still atleast 100 yrs left in u, I need break record na

bebe2:


I just love the openess of Some cultures about death, but it still spooky wen they advertise funeral insurance asking folks to pay for their funerals expense in advance .

It is o.

I trust my Naija peeps- "God forbid" , " I reject it IJN"

Who wan die...

bebe2:


I just love the openess of Some cultures about death, but it still spooky wen they advertise funeral insurance asking folks to pay for their funerals expense in advance .

The matter of life insurance is not even widely discussed much less asking one to pay their funeral insurance.
They will ask you if you're planning for them to die soon.

We love life too much. Hehehe.

cococandy:

The matter of life insurance is not even widely discussed much less asking one to pay their funeral insurance.
They will ask you if you're planning for them to die soon.

We love life too much. Hehehe.

My 80yr old mum was giving them holy ghost fire wen she was here oo

The thing used to get her angry, how can they be asking someone to pay for their own burial wen they are still alive? I go try explain to her tire

Lol. I guess they see it as a bad omen or something.
God help you if you tell someone something like one day and they die a few days later.

You'll go to the village to explain before the oracle how you didn't kill them .

bebe2:


My 80yr old mum was giving them holy ghost fire wen she was here oo

The thing used to get her angry, how can they be asking someone to pay for their own burial wen they are still alive? I go try explain to her tire

crackhaus:

Ohhh, thank God... Lol

And here I thought you were trying to pass a message to me specifically regarding death and the after-life...my mind don cut before

Lol..Crackie is scared

How cute!

Godpikin4:
Lol..Crackie is scared

How cute!

Cute? Hehehehe. . okay na

bebe2:


No ooo, u still atleast 100 yrs left in u, I need break record na

Lol, at least?

crackhaus:

Lol, at least?

yes na, u go be nairaland great great gran pa

Thanks for sharing, guess it will give some people something to ponder about..
I strongly believe that its easier to bear our pains than pains of those we love
Now back to the woman..... I can just imagine all she went through and was left with no option than to be strong.
The husband in pains and her having sleepless night, praying earnestly for some sort of miracles
The husband in tears and she will be the one encouraging him but deep down she is having a bleeding heart.
She asking God too many questions because she feels helpless ......

My thought
Is she happy he died? No, but does she feel better now? Yes because he is out of the whole pain and resting in peace...

favoured234:
Thanks for sharing, guess it will give some people something to ponder about..
I strongly believe that its easier to bear our pains than pains of those we love
Now back to the woman..... I can just imagine all she went through and was left with no option than to be strong.
The husband in pains and her having sleepless night, praying earnestly for some sort of miracles
The husband in tears and she will be the one encouraging him but deep down she is having a bleeding heart.
She asking God too many questions because she feels helpless ......

My thought
Is she happy he died? No, but does she feel better now? Yes because he is out of the whole pain and resting in peace...

You are so right,

And They ve made alot of adjustments to fit his care around their lives.

His daughter just paid £40k to have their house extended so he can move around the house without the stress of using the stairs.

He was so loved, most have been painful for them to see him suffer.

bebe2:


You are so right,

And They ve made alot of adjustments to fit his care around their lives.

His daughter just paid £40k to have their house extended so he can move around the house without the stress of using the stairs.

He was so loved, most have been painful for them to see him suffer.

This is a very deep and insightful topic. Kudos.
I remember one of the first deaths I experienced as a fresh intern just out of med school. The guy was a young dude in his late 20s and had HIV. I came to his bed when he was taking his last breaths. At that time HIV was still highly stigmatized disease and all his family had abandoned him to his fate. I saw his struggling and gasping for breath, sweat streaming down his face and very restless. I asked the nurse if anything could be done and she said no, he was already moribund. I could see the agony in his face as he struggled with death.
I had just finished watching an American movie where the guy had been talking to his comatose friend nd consoling him. And they say the last sense to go in death is hearing. So I bent close to him and whispered encouragement and told him he would be OK on the other side, that he shouldn't be afraid. The guy calmed down almost immediately. I squeezed his hand for a short while and then let go. It didn't take long after the fellow died. I honestly felt the talk helped him. It would be nice if people keyed more into this instead of screaming and sometimes hitting and pinching the dying.
Nice thread.

That was so nice of you.

One can only pray for strength to be that calm and collected in the face of losing a loved one.

Royver:

This is a very deep and insightful topic. Kudos.
I remember one of the first deaths I experienced as a fresh intern just out of med school. The guy was a young dude in his late 20s and had HIV. I came to his bed when he was taking his last breaths. At that time HIV was still highly stigmatized disease and all his family had abandoned him to his fate. I saw his struggling and gasping for breath, sweat streaming down his face and very restless. I asked the nurse if anything could be done and she said no, he was already moribund. I could see the agony in his face as he struggled with death.
I had just finished watching an American movie where the guy had been talking to his comatose friend nd consoling him. And they say the last sense to go in death is hearing. So I bent close to him and whispered encouragement and told him he would be OK on the other side, that he shouldn't be afraid. The guy calmed down almost immediately. I squeezed his hand for a short while and then let go. It didn't take long after the fellow died. I honestly felt the talk helped him. It would be nice if people keyed more into this instead of screaming and sometimes hitting and pinching the dying.
Nice thread.

Royver:

This is a very deep and insightful topic. Kudos.
I remember one of the first deaths I experienced as a fresh intern just out of med school. The guy was a young dude in his late 20s and had HIV. I came to his bed when he was taking his last breaths. At that time HIV was still highly stigmatized disease and all his family had abandoned him to his fate. I saw his struggling and gasping for breath, sweat streaming down his face and very restless. I asked the nurse if anything could be done and she said no, he was already moribund. I could see the agony in his face as he struggled with death.
I had just finished watching an American movie where the guy had been talking to his comatose friend nd consoling him. And they say the last sense to go in death is hearing. So I bent close to him and whispered encouragement and told him he would be OK on the other side, that he shouldn't be afraid. The guy calmed down almost immediately. I squeezed his hand for a short while and then let go. It didn't take long after the fellow died. I honestly felt the talk helped him. It would be nice if people keyed more into this instead of screaming and sometimes hitting and pinching the dying.
Nice thread.

Am glad U watched dat American movie right before hand, if it was nollywood u wud ve picked him up and shook him he gets broken bones, lol.

Ok, pple pinch the dying? I guess they think dat will bring him/her back to life.

Very sad.

This is such an interesting thread and hope some people will share their experience too. Death is inevitable and all of us will die for sure. But most of us feels its a taboo and are reluctant to discuss about it. My Mom's health condition changed my view towards death. It's a heart breaking thoughts but I knew Mom is going to die anytime, only God knows when. The good thing upon knowing that somebody is going to die anytime is you have ample time to prepare for its coming, both emotionally and spiritually. The remaining years and days of my mom was wonderful because we had given the time to show and let her feel that we care and love her so much. I know in my heart, she died with joy and peace.

Very nice.

This is a beautiful post bebe2. The man is blessed to have a such a wonderful wife. I hope he rests in peace.

UjSizzle:
This is a beautiful post bebe2. The man is blessed to have a such a wonderful wife. I hope he rests in peace.

Tnk u sis,

His family adores him, he too have shown them love .

Can u imagine even wit an amputated leg he used to escort his daughter to appointments just to keep her company on long drives.

The daughter is an international lawyer, she once told her dad day she didn't trust this particular client day if she us not out of the office in 30mins he shud call the police.

She came out of the office over an hour later only to meet her dad fast asleep , the poor man was too tired from the long drive.

UjSizzle:
This is a beautiful post bebe2. The man is blessed to have a such a wonderful wife. I hope he rests in peace.

Hi. In one of your earlier posts, you mentioned something about a reading club. Please I'll like to join. My number is 08069557440.

Nice post.

wman:


Hi. In one of your earlier posts, you mentioned something about a reading club. Please I'll like to join. My number is 08069557440.

really?? dat must be a long time ago,
am so busy these days i hardly have time for reading

but, if u lead, i will follow

wman:


Hi. In one of your earlier posts, you mentioned something about a reading club. Please I'll like to join. My number is 08069557440.

Are you in Lagos?

UjSizzle:

Are you in Lagos?

Only during the holidays. I'm in Osun state most of the time.

Very nice thread. Thanks so much for sharing.

Now my question: How are you so sure they are going to die? Reminds me of when my dad was very ill. He had a heart disease and everyone thought he was going to die, including the doctor. Oh well, we said our goodbyes. We cried, we sang. Listened to a dying father bla bla bla.

This is the 5th year. My father is still alive.

I think we just like to wish things away. Like someone said, it's a culture thing. We just do not want to accept or 'give' up on our loved ones. I can't imagine a Nigerian widow sharing funny experiences of her late husband at his funeral. Even Linda Ikeji would blog about it.

I really appreciate this thread. I think it's a privilege to even know when one is dying.