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Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know - Culture - Nairaland

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Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by owukpa(m): 10:24am On Aug 13, 2016
By Ugwu Lawrence Enenche with additional information by Ameh Comrade Godwin[b][/b]

The Idoma people live in north central Nigeria, Benue State by the south eastern flank.

In most cultural groups in Nigeria, traditional marriage is an arrangement between two families rather than an arrangement between two individuals.
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Marriage in Idoma land is considered a lifelong state of union, although divorce is possible on the grounds of Infidelity.
When an Idoma man is about twenty-five years old and has the financial and physical capability to maintain a wife and children, he searches for a woman of his choice, who must be at least eighteen years old. He informs his family of his desire and they will in turn choose a go-between (a person who is familiar with the girl's family).

The go-between (ogbo’onya) investigates the family of the prospective bride to ascertain that the family has no history of specific ailments e.g. mental disease, epilepsy, and/or similar problems. If the result of this investigation is positive, the prospective groom's family visits the woman's family with gifts of kolanut and drinks.

After both families had reached agreement, a certain amount would be paid to indicate that she has been taken. This is called (achi’osechefu).

After much deliberation, an acceptable date is reached by both families.

Then, the bride price. The Idoma community remains the best place to marry from due to their hospitality. During the bride price negations, the father of the bride would not be on ground. The go-between (ogbo’bonya) and some members of both families would sit and the bride family’s representatives will call an outrageous amount considering her academic qualification after which the groom’s family will negotiate. Both of them will now go for separate secret meetings (ujuju) and after this the will come to a conclusion on the amount to be paid.

At the end of the day, the groom’s family will present the amount with them with a promise to pay in full in the offing. The go-between will now present the money to the groom’s parents and a kindhearted father would probably take out N300 for himself and N200 for the wife- (bride’s mum) totaling N500 (five hundred naira only) and ask the groom to use the rest to take care of his daughter and never to allow her go hungry.

On the same day, a list of required traditional items to be brought to the girl’s family on the D-day is given to the man. The items differ from ethnic group to ethnic group.

For example, in Owukpa, Ogbadibo basic among these items are:


1. Cloths for the Father of the girl
2. Cloth for the Mother of the girl
3. Some tubers of Yam
4. One or two bags of Salt
5. Two she goats for both mum and dad
6. Two basins of rice
7. Drinks (both alcoholic and non alcoholic)
8 A Suitcase for the wife to be, et al.

The bride's mother buys her cooking utensils and food because she is not expected to go to the market for the first five market days after her marriage.

Before the bride is handed over to her husband, her age group will pose as a mock barrier to those who want to take her and extort money from the anxious groom's family.

Also every member of the bride's mother's family must be given money, with the groom's family determining the amount. The bride's age group and her more distant relatives also are given money, with the amount varying with level of the bride's education and productivity.

Then the groom's family gives the bride a rooster and some money. If she accepts these gifts and gives them to her mother, she indicates her acceptance of the groom and is showered with gifts and money, but if she refuses to marry the man after these gifts have been provided, the bride’s family will return everything.
At the end of the eating and drinking, the wife is finally handed over to the go-between (ogb’onya).


The father of the bride would hand down some vital information to the go-between for the groom such as:

We don’t kick our women
She’s not for sale
Return her corpse whenever she dies. She must not be buried outside


Ideally, the bride is expected to be a virgin, as it is a source of pride and joy to her family.

However, in a case where the girl takes in before the wedding, traditionally, both families will have to wait until the girl puts to bed before the marriage rites commence. In some parts of Idoma land, especially Owukpa, if a man impregnates any girl before marriage, there's a fine he will have to pay before he asks for her hands in marriage.

Importantly, whenever both couple agree to go their separate ways (DIVORCE) the woman is not expected to leave with anything she bought while the marriage lasted. The bride's parents are also expected to cough out the bride price and some of the things the groom bought during the marriage ceremony for them.

Written by Ugwu Lawrence with additional information by Ameh Comrade Godwin

SOURCE: http://www.idomavoice.com/2016/08/must-read-important-things-you-must.html

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Dilijingsly(m): 10:33am On Aug 13, 2016
OK oh ...space booked
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Young03(m): 11:15am On Aug 13, 2016
Advertisement

8 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by M4gunners: 3:21pm On Aug 13, 2016
Noted
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by kmax4ril: 3:22pm On Aug 13, 2016
See editing, makeup finish dix faces

5 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Lukmann1: 3:22pm On Aug 13, 2016
why are you now telled us. nothing speciality in them so i will passed. them is not even so more too pretty a lot at all. embarassed

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by miketemi4luv(m): 3:23pm On Aug 13, 2016
Still abit normal compare to our people from d oda side....Pls don't quote me oooo nah joke I dey joke oooo

2 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Hillzy(m): 3:23pm On Aug 13, 2016
Ok
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by juliusnobisugo(m): 3:23pm On Aug 13, 2016
Na me go cum read dis epistle on top idoma girl wen i neva see before... Nairaland should change their name to koboland cuz i think d economy is affecting dem with all dis yeye frontpage stories

19 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Nobody: 3:23pm On Aug 13, 2016
All this one na long thing for lagos marriage na.

1 Like

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Lovelynature(m): 3:23pm On Aug 13, 2016
Ok
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by 4nobody4every1: 3:24pm On Aug 13, 2016
Nice cool
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by MrPresident1: 3:24pm On Aug 13, 2016
Strength and endurance training are also very essential before you marry an idoma babe.

I hear Idoma babes are all tigresses grin

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by allanphash7(m): 3:25pm On Aug 13, 2016
Breeze of change no blow reach that side ?






I better remain this way o

21 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Nobody: 3:25pm On Aug 13, 2016
Senator David Mark law sef grin
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by HungryCork(m): 3:25pm On Aug 13, 2016
Idoma girl pussy dey hungry me

1 Like

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Dayoto: 3:25pm On Aug 13, 2016
H
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by officialgeorge(m): 3:25pm On Aug 13, 2016
nyc....nah toh dy find idoma girls nw ooo....any idoma girl in dah house....hmu let us circumfrence..
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by pythonkid(m): 3:25pm On Aug 13, 2016
I'd like to know about TIV and yoruba
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by chiefolododo(m): 3:26pm On Aug 13, 2016
well , e no cost unlike our people from the yeast
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by femimike1(m): 3:26pm On Aug 13, 2016
Nice , the first step is similar to Yoruba culture

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by frozenSun(m): 3:26pm On Aug 13, 2016
return the corpse when she dies as she must not be buried outside..... na wah

4 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by fuckpro: 3:27pm On Aug 13, 2016
... Hmm Una still dey learn work were easterners dey
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by sugardad1(m): 3:27pm On Aug 13, 2016
I rep idoma oladam!

19 Likes 1 Share

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Senior99: 3:28pm On Aug 13, 2016
Wow so interesting about the culture.,...But pple used to said idomas like drinks very well on occasions even burial.... undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by PAPI4LYF(m): 3:28pm On Aug 13, 2016
first time tu comment idoma Pple look @ their ugly face

2 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by HACKPASTOR(m): 3:28pm On Aug 13, 2016
hmmmmm
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by Nobody: 3:28pm On Aug 13, 2016
noted
Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by EmmanuelDon7(m): 3:29pm On Aug 13, 2016
I will marry from this tribe. The cost is less considering the present economic crisis grin

2 Likes

Re: Before You Marry Idoma Girl: Important Things You Must Know by HungryCork(m): 3:30pm On Aug 13, 2016
Olawaperzz:

Ban the dey Hungry u.

#HungryCork

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