Kellibae:
Naturally Shez not d school type.
I dnt know where to start ooo.

I can feel ur pain... sorry op
But ill be back.

*Modifed*.. but op education aint everythin.
Pls accept her d way she is i wont advice divorce...
As for her poor dressing u can always do somethin abt.
U can employ a fashionista or if u dnt hav d money u can consult any of ur relative who
Has better dress sense to stay with u guys for few months to help her..
bliv she would be better.

As for her business i think she has to learn it as u rightly said..before venturing into it.
Your wife aint cheatin on u no quarelling u.
So dnt divorce her...U can polish her.
Accept her the d way she is cox the way u goin about could affect her esteem and make her feel shez a worthless numbskull.

BETTER THE ANGEL U KNOW THAN THE DEVIL U DONT.

good advice

carammel:
This year makes it ten years that you have been married to her,why did it take you this long?

You just realised she is not intelligent and cannot compose a good text message after ten years right?

Anyways,your wife is the type that is contented with being a full time housewife,you cant force her to be what she doesnt want to be,you just need to work harder and harsher so you can have more to spend on your family.

African men love to be the breadwinner and the Lord of the house so keep bearing it.

u have forgotten she might have pretended of what she wasn't before marriage.

JustOzito:
what/who did you think she was before you married her?

pretender may be...no wonder a lot of girls want ready made....lazy as..shole

wonukwuru:
I am adult married to a lady of 35years. We have been married since 2007. God has blessed us with 3 wonderful children( 2 boys and 1 girl). Before we got married, i agreed with my wife that i only want to have 2 kids ( I wouldnt mind if they just boys or girls. That means, Im not particular of the sex of the kids). My wife is a B.sc Accounting graduate, while myself, I am a Chartered Accountant, with a well paid job. My wife had a 3rd class degree. On several occassions, i have told her to go back to school for Post Graduate Diploma (PGD) in order to upgrade, but she plainly told me that she cannot go back to school again. When i asked her why, she told me that her brain cannot withstand any academic stree again. I also suggested to her, since you studied accounting in the university, why not enroll for ICAN program? When i said that to her, she told me that she could not go for PGD, is it ICAN that she can do? I have been thinking, what will i do for her to be like others.

Someone you got married to 10years ago, you still not knw her weak side. When she has already told you her brain can't get along with reading anymore, what else do you want her to tell you. I beg go and deal with your marriage joor.

wonukwuru:

My wife, went to the university but she cannot speak simple and correct english. She cannot write application letter. She cannot teach my kids who are in primary 2 and 5 respectively. I pay a lesson teacher N30,000 monthly for my kids but my wife is at home doing nothing. Since we got married, my wife has not sent me text message on her phone more than 3times. The ones that she sent, my brothers, there are lots of gramatical blunders. When i confronted her with the text message, she could not say anything. I was checking for some documents in my room last week, and i came across an application that my wife wrote to submit to a private school where she wants to teach. When i saw the letter, believe me, my brothers, one of my kids that is in primary 5 cannot write such rubbish.

Oga sir, do they teach how to speak correct English in the University? Don't paint your wife bad here, you knew all these before you got married to her. It shouldn't be new to you. Carry it, it's your cross.

wonukwuru:


What i thought she was before i married her, is not what she is. I cannot take her out for an occassion because she may embarrase me by her conduct in the public. I need a divorce but the problem now is, i did i court wedding with her. What should i do? Im confused.

Don't be confused.
Divorce her so that u can marry someone that speaks good english, someone with Ph.d, someone that will not embarrass you in public shey? Yeye!

Go back to court where u legalised your marriage and divorce her, it's as simple as that.

#HappyDivorce

Divorce her and take the kids.

That is the only simple solution.

That way you save yourself the murder charge.

Go to court and explain that she is endangering the health and wellbeing of your children.

Okeyson4wisdom:
I suggest in the matter of starting a business u should look for someone that is already into the business inform the person about ur wife dream to start the business if the person agrees u call ur wife to join the person, as for the matter of divorce pls don't go there, u two should go for counseling and on ur own part compliment ur wife, in the way she is doing it right, he that is in haste to castigate his wife spreadeth his linen in a open ground and it brings shame? She is part of you.

my brother, no be my wife o, I am not the op at all, I am not yet married, but I still observe your point.

Sorry did but its all going to be your decision even if you receive 1000 advice. I have been married for 15 years, we didn't have kids for the 1st 7 years, now we have 3 handsome boys and my wife doesn't think we should go on and I am ok.
I have been out of employment since 2009 but run a business ever since and its not been easy, I do not even give my wife what I know I should for her love and who she is but we get along by Gods grace. I love my wife so much and part of the reasons I knew she was the right one was because she has a good sense of fashion. I understand how important this can be for men today.
I do not know how many people giving advice here are married, talk-less of being married for long. But you will realize that some couple get some things easy on a platter of gold, while others search, but even the smallest things to others can be great source of happiness to many.

I see you love your wife, else you would not be trying to change her or make her what you wish. If you start an affair out there she will be the first one to complain and I know there are a million ladies out there that fit your style.
You have to cut out the horrible way you feel now, and think of a different approach. After many years of marriage, for couples to be trendy and beautiful, staying attractive is a sure spice for the marriage.
When you were both young you were too crazy over her to worry, you probable were hoping that you could iron it all into her, but now.....!
You have to talk to her from her perspective bro. Show her some love not anger. Do not tell her about this divorce or how tired you are of her just apply a different approach which I may not be able to recommend her but because you know her better, you should be able to figure it out.
I feel for you but let the love you had for her be stronger in your heart, that is the only way you will be able to accommodate it all. I am sure you envy your friends wives and their mood and would want to have the same joy.

lofty900:
If I were in ur shoes, I won't marry such woman in the first place. Probably u married her when there was nothing and now that things are going well u want something better. My brother manage her o. Goodluck Jonathan is managing his own.

Abi

OP please listen, rethink this divorce thing over. Your wife is OK with you as her mentor and she will never cheat on you. As long as you can identify the problems you can find a solution. If you divorce her, i.e. get her out of your life its not the end, your kids are hers too. And she got another one coming so your hooked like it or not. After divorce you are certainly going to get a woman that will really please you this time, definitely, but you cannot tell the years ahead. Women today are.......
Don't end up with a woman that will give you conditions, and probably kill you before you enjoy all you have worked for.

Take advice from most females at ur own risk. You know what u can deal with... Women!!!

Fourwinds:
good advice

Thank u

bro it is too late you should have make your decision b4 now, b reminded that what God has joinrd together let no man put asunder

Its till death do us part. Divorce is not an option. If you do, you'll regret all your life.
You've to be patient with her and keep praying for her. Sometimes, surmon the courage to take to place where she will be intimated, especially were her fellow women are. Take her to places where shell be motivated, environment matters a lot.
Personally I believe in a 2/4 years relationship before marrying so that so salient things you want from a woman, say intelliegnce etc, nobody is perfect though, will be accessee thoroughly.

Pwettyella:

OMG
dat is so unfair oo
Y call her all names
U want to tell me dat thru out ur courtship she didn't cook for u at all,na wa ooo. Divorce is nvr d answer, at least think of ur Son, oga oo

Surprised too, for good 5years, then what have they been doing for 5years? Sleeping with each other, going to cinemas, eateries, parties etc.
Didn't they talk about anything, I mean everything during courtship to know whre her likes and interest is? Love don blind am

mctowel01:

Read, read, read before commenting. its wise of him to ask her to be an understudy before venturing into a business especially one with high capital. He doesn't trust her managerial skills and its understandable.

Must she understudy under someone? Opening a shop is not rocket science. The husband's assistance is enough.

chardyni:


Divorce her. You should start planning on getting rid of her.

I am in exactly the same boat as you. Only difference would be the number of kids and her age.

I got married 2012 after a courtship of 5 years. My wife too graduated with a third class. No drive to succeed. All she does is sit home and pray against the malvolent forces that are making me hate her.

She cant cook nything other than Indomie. Lazy b itch that she is.

Unfortunately I now have a son from her. Wish I could turn back time in her case.

Most of tge commenters would say its your fault for not discovering this during courtship, but the truth is men are human. These problems are cleverly hidden during courtship by females. Who would see these things and still intend on marrying her.

START PLANNING A DIVORCE. As you mentioned court marriage, you can petition that her influence on the family is determintal to the kids wellbeing. The court would grant it once you bring that type of argument.

There is no molding her in the future. She will suck your finances and be a clog for your progress.

Believe me I have developed a timeline for my own divorce.

Great guy, no dulling!

Let her carry her wahala elsewhere. You will not regret believe me. It is time women know that sex is no longer sufficient repayment for everything.

Xzbit91:

Which one be herculean task? How can you suggest upgrading oneself is a herculean task? PGD e no gree do, computer e no wan learn, oya learn trade, she say mbanu. You think say dem dey pick N1.5m for ground? You think her job is just to pop up children for the man without contributing in anyway to the upkeep of the family, imagine an accounting graduate can't even help her primary school child do homework. What rubbish

Try read the op story very well and the part where the wife wants to trade in a small way, so she can be sure the kind of business she plans to delve into. She didn't ask her husband for N1.5m for biz. He is the one coming up with wholesale business. Which she virtually have no idea about.
I know women on the streets selling stuffs from roasting yams, plantains, selling tomaotes making money and also helping us get these items on our streets.
So try cool down and read to understand.. Don't just pick few words from what av said to the op 2 justify your thoughts.

Hello?? Am not the op, neither am his wife. Am simply a stranger who read what the op said and making him realise he is forcing his type of dream wife on his real wife at home due to what he complained about . So simply place your misplaced agression on his wife or better still go to his house and question the wife. Seat her down and tell her what u feel is right or wrong in her decisions on her life career.. Even seat the op down in his home and lecture him..
So pls don't even start on me today. Am not your problem.

chibuzorAbia:


Great guy, no dulling!

Let her carry her wahala elsewhere. You will not regret believe me. It is time women know that sex is no longer sufficient repayment for everything.

chai, no time to waste time for your side....

Divorce is not the best solution here but you should pray to God to touch her heart for change. You can sit her down and ask her personally what she really want to do. If she want to work assist her so you won't get blamed for not allowing her to work in the future. As for the english, we are not prefect,you can start by correcting her. Life is all about managing each other.

employee paying 650k per term sa as school fees you better wise up

Antina:


Surprised too, for good 5years, then what have they been doing for 5years? Sleeping with each other, going to cinemas, eateries, parties etc.
Didn't they talk about anything, I mean everything during courtship to know whre her likes and interest is? Love don blind am

Don't be surprised.. Some virtually don't talk about anything when dating a lady. On chats after the first hello, hi, what do u do? Where do u stay? Where are your parents? Do u school or work? After all these questions
The next chat will be sending series and lots of
Bible quotes
Comic videos
Quotes of scientists
Pics of heart
Pics of love
Video clips of comedians
Video of Miracles going on in churches



And am. Like guy! Don't you have anything upstairs to talk about? Don't u think u and I need to know more about ourselves?
And the reply he will give is uhhhmmm uhmmmm
But wait u women sef are so inquisitve about us men.. What the heck are u ladies doing scooping asking guys so many questions

And am like?
Is this guy for real!
Do u honestly think, I will take u serious, rely am safe around u if I don't know who u are or what your personality is all about? Are u for real? Do u think I will take every word u say hook line and sinker and say ohhh am. So. In love
Guy! If we don't chat about our likes our dislikes our personality and talk about them, instead of all the fucvking quotes or possibly I drop by at your place, and u do is to touch and want to do the do! After that he stands up and say he is going out.
He does this for like a year or two.
Nothing to talk about. And at the end he propose, she says yes. They had a very lovely wedding.
Now the real man, the real. Woman comes into play. U guys are together 24/7. No more escaping either from the man or woman
Real character now starts poping up. And both couples will be like who da heck did I marry!
Oh God help. Me.

People court themselves and the courtship is just empty. They simply don't know themselves except their anatomies . And what makes them explode in sexxx... Lol..
Oh lord!
And they know the name of their parish or pastors that's all.. Lol.
Or when the next convention is coming up
Or wats for dinner
What's for. Breakfast
Hope u enjoyed your sleep last night .... No I didn't enjoy it! I suffered sleeping.. Lol. What kind of dummvb chat is that.
Chai!
And out of the blues the guy propose or she becomes pregnant. Marriage enter.
And people still wonder why a lot of couples are either divorcing or living single life's or as flat mates even in. Marriage

If as a guy u cant talk or chat for. Me to understand your kind of person and u understanding mine..knowing our weakest point and greatest point In career, in the public eye and with family ? Just get the fucvk off!
And don't disturb me.

Amelian:




Try read the op story very well and the part where the wife wants to trade in a small way, so she can be sure the kind of business she plans to delve into. She didn't ask her husband for N1.5m for biz. He is the one coming up with wholesale business. Which she virtually have no idea about.
I know women on the streets selling stuffs from roasting yams, plantains, selling tomaotes making money and also helping us get these items on our streets.
So try cool down and read to understand.. Don't just pick few words from what av said to the op 2 justify your thoughts.

Hello?? Am not the op, neither am his wife. Am simply a stranger who read what the op said and making him realise he is forcing his type of dream wife on his real wife at home due to what he complained about . So simply place your misplaced agression on his wife or better still go to his house and question the wife. Seat her down and tell her what u feel is right or wrong in her decisions on her life career.. Even seat the op down in his home and lecture him..
So pls don't even start on me today. Am not your problem.

I know you're not my problem, don't make this about me and you but you make it seem like what he's asking of his spouse is too much (herculean task indeed), his fear about the potential failure of his wife proposed business is not unfounded given her lackadaisical attitude to life, how can she succeed when she easily gives up, you think business is for the faint hearted? You made this personal when you said you detest people like the op when you don't know Jack about him or what he's been through

Martinez19:
Must she understudy under someone? Opening a shop is not rocket science. The husband's assistance is enough.

Opening a shop might not be rocket science but managing one definitely need certain skills. Do you think it's everyone that opens shop that succeeds? The op fears are not unfounded, after all it's his hard earned money that is involved

Xzbit91:

Opening a shop might not be rocket science but managing one definitely need certain skills. Do you think it's everyone that opens shop that succeeds? The op fears are not unfounded, after all it's his hard earned money that is involved

you never know it you will succeed until try. The chances of succeeding with a shop is high if there is common sense from the wife and assistance from the husband. I rest my case.

Amelian:




True I crossed the line. My apologies op, but pls next time try and understand carefully what your wife need . Bad mouthing her publicly and privately helps no one. Also looking down on her like something else is bad.. It's even worse than the foolish I mentioned earlier.
Pls learn to respect your wife and appreciate her. U married her with your eyes open.
And she's a human being. A useful one at that.
Remeber No human being is useless .

Now, that's more like it.
Although I think he must have has applied several means to correct her before tabling the issue here. It can be very frustrating having a graduate wife who has zero leaning towards anything constructive. An accounting graduate who doesn't wanna manage a business. Women in this age can't just sit at home, get fat and rear babies like pigs. It erodes the husband's respect for them.

Martinez19:
you never know it you will succeed until try. The chances of succeeding with a shop is high if there is common sense from the wife and assistance from the husband. I rest my case.

What if he's afraid of the bolded

Xzbit91:

What if he's afraid of the bolded

you might be right since she is unintelligent but I don't think she is that unintelligent from the write up. If she can be sincere about about her not wanting to go back to school and about her wanting to open a shop then she is not that unintelligent. I believe her common sense with the husband's assistance and supervision are enough. From the write up, she can't be that dull...or nah kangaroo he marry

Xzbit91:

I know you're not my problem, don't make this about me and you but you make it seem like what he's asking of his spouse is too much (herculean task indeed), his fear about the potential failure of his wife proposed business is not unfounded given her lackadaisical attitude to life, how can she succeed when she easily gives up, you think business is for the faint hearted? You made this personal when you said you detest people like the op when you don't know Jack about him or what he's been through

One rule in a having a smooth peaceful relationship or marriage. Is don't turn your partner into your own self and don't mould their personalities and strength into what u wish it could have been. Its not only the op who has gone through alot. Constant bashing from him to his wife as made the wife go thru a lot too emotionally.
And that's the problem most men make. U guys don't get to know your partner before tying the knots. As long as she can fucvk the brains out, break the dickkk when fuccking .wow! She is take home to mama.
I remember my cousin gisting me on how her bf was screaming on bed.. Break it! Fucckk like your life depended on it
Baby yes! Don't stop!
Just break the damn thing with your pvussy!
Hahahahahahhha. God forgive me ooooo
Lol
Oh lord! we were laughing so hard, I almost pee on me.. Oh jeez!

With that! Most men av seen a wife material..Viola! Every other thing is irrelevant. Until when the man starts bringing out money to take care of his wife or fiance that's when he starts noticing some flaws, he simply cannot endure.
Guys get to know whom u are fucvking! Getting married and staying married is not all about sexx and babies.. It's much more than that! And start acting your true self and demanding same from your partner before u say "I do.
Courtship or make I be your bobo is not about destroying the dickk in sexxx.

Amelian:




One rule in a having a smooth peaceful relationship or marriage. Is don't turn your partner into your own self and don't mould their personalities and strength into what u wish it could have been. Its not only the op who has gone through alot. Constant bashing from him to his wife as made the wife go thru a lot too emotionally.
And that's the problem most men make. U guys don't get to know your partner before tying the knots. As long as she can fucvk the brains out, break the dickkk when fuccking .wow! She is take home to mama.
I remember my cousin gisting me on how her bf was screaming on bed.. Break it! Fucckk like your life depended on it
Baby yes! Don't stop!
Just break the damn thing with your pvussy!
Hahahahahahhha. God forgive me ooooo
Lol
Oh lord! we were laughing so hard, I almost pee on me.. Oh jeez!

With that! Most men av seen a wife material..Viola! Every other thing is irrelevant. Until when the man starts bringing out money to take care of his wife or fiance that's when he starts noticing some flaws, he simply cannot endure.
Guys get to know whom u are fucvking! Getting married and staying married is not all about sexx and babies.. It's much more than that! And start acting your true self and demanding same from your partner before u say "I do.
Courtship or make I be your bobo is not about destroying the dickk in sexxx.

;DNa so @bolded, you see this comment is more mature than the first one I quoted. It is not wrong to mould your spouse into someone you find attractive, we as humans are not perfect that's why we have to put in effort everyday to improve ourselves. From what I can deduce from the op's post his wife has regressed instead and this is typical of most married women, they start dressing anyhow and tying wrapper around the house like they don't care after all they're married forgetting that men are moved by sight, if the op's wife wasn't yet married would she be tying wrapper Upandan? I don't think so and I certainly don't think if she were like that during courtship the op would have been attracted to her in the first place.

Xzbit91:

;DNa so @bolded, you see this comment is more mature than the first one I quoted. It is not wrong to mould your spouse into someone you find attractive, we as humans are not perfect that's why we have to put in effort everyday to improve ourselves. From what I can deduce from the op's post his wife has regressed instead and this is typical of most married women, they start dressing anyhow and tying wrapper around the house like they don't care after all they're married forgetting that men are moved by sight, if the op's wife wasn't yet married would she be tying wrapper Upandan? I don't think so and I certainly don't think if she were like that during courtship the op would have been attracted to her in the first place.

It's true
She regressed.. That alone I agree with u o
Wives, in fact human beings must always improve ourselves
It helps in everything we do

chardyni:


My dear, you would not understand unless you were in my shoes and that of the OP.

I have fought with my wife twice and its for things that started with a slight suggestion and persuasion. The man that beat his wife last week was assumed to be a savage, but when a woman simply becomes only a sex giver and not contributing to family upkeep then she needs to be ditched.

A woman that cant cook, suspects all my interactions with females, does not take suggestions, lousy with sex and rubbishes my age differential and experience, is not a proper wife material.

All these I did not see prior to marriage. Getting out of it would simply be to take my son and send her back.

I stronlgy advice the OP to DIVORCE her.

Bt still Sir,everybody deserves anoda chance. Y don't u try to talk to her again,mke a see reasons with u,u can also open up to her, v a hrt to hrt talk with her plss at least for ur sons sake
Good evening

Pwettyella:

Bt still Sir,everybody deserves anoda chance. Y don't u try to talk to her again,mke a see reasons with u,u can also open up to her, v a hrt to hrt talk with her plss at least for ur sons sake
Good evening

Why?