somegirl1:


No woman who genuinely loves, or even likes, a man would be happy to share him with another.
Heck, even a woman who just wants a man's attention and nothing more would be reluctant to share him with another.
Women are territorial.
If a woman has no issues with sharing her man, it's a sure sign that she is not emotionally invested.

MiddleDimension:


while you condemn polygamy because of your one experience, know that the likes of me is from one where i have a beautiful experience.

i wonder why people condemn polygamy because of some of the bad examples we have seen, and not condemn monogamy because of the more bad ecamples of it we have seen.

Uncommonbreed:


Do you know if we were to use that logic globally. One woman to a man, the percentage of women without a man will be overwhelming?

delishpot:


Will Nigerian men agree to it?

bencarson007:


@MiddleDimension,let's me explain to you what @sbashir10 meant... He just gave an opinion of his own... Experiences in life matter... While some muslims look at it as a do or die affair to get more than one wife, my brother @sbasir10 has his reservations and he is quite correct at it... The summary is if you can afford the emotional and physical costs of polygamy as well as any attendant extra drama, go ahead but if u can't, kindly stick to one wife and give ur family quality attention... Just a small take on this, majority of the women and children in polygamy suffer neglect and there is also the problem of jealousy,infighting and favouritism in such families which tend to last like forever...

salt1:


Actually there are more men than women. More precisely, out of 1,000 people, 504 are men (50.4%) and 496 are women (49.6%). For every 100 girls, 107 boys are born.

But the men who are husband material are fewer than women who are wife material.

Many men of marriageable age are in prison for petty crimes. The others are struggling with their younger siblings for the fish head in their mothers' kitchens

MiddleDimension:


THATS ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE AS ONE OF THE MAJOR WAYS YOU CAN KNOW SOMEONE TRUELY LIKES YOU, IS BY LETTING YOU KNOW IT IS NOT A MUST FOR HIM/SHE TO BE WITH YOU!

you can also know a person loves you by how he treats everything that has got to do with you inclusing your children. my step mum treats me like hers and i also know a friend with the same experience.

when mandela died, we saw how close his widow and ex-wife were. what do you call that?

lastly, you can speak for all women.

Uncommonbreed:


I just researched on it and you have a point. But again there could be gender imbalance as a result of war and other stuffs which could greatly affect the number of males.

Your second paragraph down said it all anyway.

somegirl1:


If wishes were horses.
You sound naive, like you believe everyone wears their heart on their sleeves.
Adjusting or managing an unpleasant situation doesn't mean you like it.
Any woman who genuinely has no issues, secretly or openly, with sharing her man is not emotionally invested in the relationship.

morscino:
As a woman whether u like it or not,you shall be fvvked/married to something...either a man,a rubber(Dildos n vibrators) or a fruit(cucumber and co)....so,the choice is yours.

I even heard some are beginning to use cassava...

loteliz:
Polygamous men have mistresses outside. A man who can't be satisfied by one woman can never be satisfied by three women. You are the third and he still has one slot. He can continue chasing women until he finds the fourth one. I rather stay single than to be at risk of contracting HIV.

MiddleDimension:


i agree with you completely. and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON EVERYTHING YOU HAVE SAID EXCEPT FOR THE 'MAJORITY OF PEOPLE FROM SUCH A HOME...' PART. you have not taken a stat to know that, and it is of no use to judge based on stereotype.

and the part where you summerized the whole thing by saying if you can afford the emotinal and etc...is absolutely on point. but guess what? this doesnt apply to polygamy only but to all things including monogamy and celibacy. if you think you can handle it, then go on ahead! but the christian ummah do not see that way, instead they prefer a kind of crusade against polygamy like it is a thing condemned by their bible.

also, that i support polygamy does not in anyway mean that i encourage it for everyone. the same way i dont encourage even marriage at all to just about anyone. i also dont encourage celibacy for just anyone too even though i find nothing wrong with it.

the truth remains that just as there is mothing special about monogamy and celibacy, there is also nothing special about polygamy too.

explura:
The last time I checked, sense was very much affordable.. Hurry now and go get some!

MiddleDimension:


again i say to you that absolutely false! you put so much emphasis on this emotional investment as if you dont already know that that so called emotional investment, the 'butterfly in the stomach', does not have exist in equal measure among couples for them to be married and lead happy lives. and truely the butterfly in the stomach does not have to exist in equal measure. this is so, so that the relationship can succeed. there is need for common sense in a relationship for it to succeed. the one that is less 'attached'- emotionally invested- provides that common sense. and if you want to continue to emphasize your high 'emotional investment', then i would ask you to look around you eapecially now a days couples who think like you do and tell me hoq successful they have been. yea, you will find successful ones, no doubt. look at the story of romeo and juliet: the both of them were so 'emotionally invested' and you saw what became of them. you really think that story is a story of love? that's a tragedy! it only teaches us how not to 'love' it warns us of the high 'emotional investment' you advocate so much. if at least one of them isnt that 'emotionally invested', common sense would have prevailed and they would have lived.

salt1:


Thanks so much for not quarreling with me.
Your name describes you: you're an uncommon breed

MiddleDimension:
i was begining to think everyone here is ignorant until i saw your post. thanks for this post. that person you quoted saw that the thread is about a lady saying those other women who are opposed to polygamy are missing it. that means she doesnt have a problem with it, and yet some people still think no woman wants to married to another man who also has another wife.

TrapQueen77:



Marriage is NOT for everyone.

And juz bcoz of 1 chocolatey c0ck, all these 3 wives gonna take turn too..i dunno if that aishat girl is aware as well...

MiddleDimension:


it is unfortunate when people get married solely because of sex. sadly, this is the case with some people polygamy or not.

bencarson007:


@sbashir10, this is the second time I am reading ur comments on NL. Your parents ought to have named you as Maturity Bashir. Your head too correct. In as much as its allowed to have more than one wife in Islam, you are among the few that reasoned there may be some drama involved in doing so. You are a true follower of Islam...giving right interpretaions from insightful thinking on the teachings in Islam. May you always prosper and grow in wisdom...
Kindly help teach others the truth

#BlessedBe@sbashir10
May you never miss ur way

bencarson007:


Well said sir. I stand corrected on some of my asserions but like I said b4, it all boils down to capability of the said individual and as for the christian doctrine condemning polygamy, na strong topic be that o... So let's not bore the good people of NL by derailing the marriage thread of oga IBB daughter...let's do that at religious section... If you create such a thread on why christians condemn polygamy, invite me and let's hold intellectual discussion on such cos I see you are very sound in reasoning....
#RespectsBro

SirMichael1:
Marriage isn't by force. If you can wait, wait. [/b] If you can't, marry an Alhaji and settle down. Ain't no one forcing marriage on anyone.[b]


But if you wanna wait, be ready for people to poke nose into your personal affairs.

maasoap:

You truly believe that only Alhajis or Muslims are into polygamy? Dey dia.

NwamaziNwaAro:

Come to think of it, these Hausa guys are living the fantasies/dreams of some of we Southerners.


Imagine having threesomes and foursomes every other day

Just like that..

God bless Mohammed abeg.

TrapQueen77:



Marriage is NOT for everyone.

And juz bcoz of 1 chocolatey c0ck, all these 3 wives gonna take turn too..i dunno if that aishat girl is aware as well...

sbashir10:

@bencarson007 thank you sir, ameen sir and God bless you

sunnysunny69:
Rich man children no dey get freedom to do what they like, 3rd wife too much. Na when sleep go reach your turn ?

nurshah:



When there us problem in a polygamous home it stems from the head of the family .
Polygamy is a very good thing ..who will marry the widows,divorcees,have you seen the high rate of singles over 40 years of age ?
The only thing is for a man to hold his role well