Dear splen....

Your bae z down with malaria.i yaff not treated malaria for a very long time.Guess this z the after effect.

Imagine wearing socks all tru.with my head banging like a taazan speakers.

Zino got away with her pranks....lucky her!my brain was aching like mad.any small noise gives me a brainy shakeup,it was asif my brain wantu fall outta my head.

Took some drugs and was seriously running temp.mrs talkie came and prayed for me.she helped to nurse chibobo,and she also complained of her feeling too strong.

Dear diary...lil miss zino did something yesterday.chibobo was crying while we were in the kitchen.i was trying to fix lunch for us.

Lil missy started singing lullaby for chisom....zino was making effort to off her short gown(as in trying to flip her breast out to breastfeed chisom.

I was partly listening to her show of motherhood.

Zino:oya chibobo don cry you yel!
Iz it mama zino that pank(spanked)you!


Chibobo tum(come)let me give you bteastmilk
She was still struggling to free her tiny cashew nipples from her gown.
She came to where I was...looked at my chest,then hers.
She went back and finally gave up on the breast thingy.she brought out her navel and was about navel feeding chibobo....i kwayetly carry my pikin o.

Dear diary....
Few days ago,bishop my younger brother decided to bishopify my life.

Imagine cooking indomies garnished with ugu leaf and lil potash .

I was eating the noodles it was tasting anyhow in my mouth...sadly I yaff oredi dished zino hers.

Zino stool up several times to wee abo to pooppoop sef.

Wen I asked bishop why the indomie taste that way....he told me the processes.

Haaa I cudnt help but to vex.he said the uncooked noodles was so strong,so he used potash as a natural softner and that z how he cooks his noodles .

God may I not eat what wee kee me.

Dear diary....haapy gudnyt .

The weather today no bee here...the cold was tuu mush,but wee tenk God for the availability of Lipton.

Something happened to me today .

So after the raining ceased...i went to my stylist house to inform her of my intention of coming next week Monday.

When I knocked at their gate...her boy of about 6years came towards the gate to check.i asked him the where about of his mum,kid told me mummy was inside.

The mum called his name from inside...asking him who he was talkin to.

The kid replied her thus:

Mummy Na that aunty Wey her small pikin dey talk-talk.
I looked at zino,and I was like...you see your life.everybody don know you.
The mum was still not understanding the description.

The lil boy said and I quote:
Mummy Na that aunty Wey born boy Wey you say if the aunty dey waka her Yan.sh nor dey shake.
Haaa I kukuma did a backturn and waka my shakeless yans.h dey go.

The mum came out and was telling him to shut up.

Chai what a description!

ahnie:
Mr alex settled us yesterday..but the guy dey fvckup.how can you bee giving me and zino dee same amount of Roger .

For Eve's sake ayam your wife....and zino z our baby .had to protest..my xmas roger was increased. .

Talking about mr ahlez...mmmh my husband z a decorated madman wit medals .

That guy z very straightforward...dusnt shack alcohol or smokes ir keep friends.I know how much he earns and how he spends it.he always show me his alerts and acct balance....all thanks to my isoko demon [size=8pt][/size]

Lolest.

This got me rolling on the floor....hahahahhaahahahahahaahahah.

lol

Dear diary...i Kant sleep ooooo.i yam watching chisom,zino and daddy ahlez sleeping.we just finished our normal midnyt prayers.

I wantu go to the sitting room to watch this interesting clip I lend from my neighbour.the clip title z POWER.itz all about drugs...bitches(sidechicks)gangsterism,and too much sex.oyibo fifo wantu spoil my innocent mind.

Today z Sunday....will I still go to church .dunno God please give me the mind to overcome this.

I wantu go to church but the wardrobe malfunction I had abt 3/4 Sundays ago still sends vibes down my spin.

Satan z a liar.

Shalom!

Hey splend....chisom z gonna bee 3 months this month end...and I already hav offers lined up.

Mee I yam not dooyin school teaching work (God pls help me)tired of copying killer joy lesson notes and bee answering yes sire/maam.i wantu stick strictly to Home lessons.

Mummy Bryan called asking me to tutor Bryan as his home lesson tutor.shit that kid z one smart guy.But sad news z...i ain't good in maths.

Mummy peace also called begging me to resumed as my appointment with peace.

3times per week...transport also paid by them.But the issue z...i cannot bee dragging two kids along.mehn itiz tiring and time consuming.I told both parents to hold on so that I can talk it over with daddy.

Forzarush hope you aa cool...thanks for the mentions.mummyjj pls get a carton of noodles and but two pair of sandals,visit any orphanage of your choice and believe God to grant you that request which thou seeks.(kisses).
Zaynie how the family dey do...kisses to your kids.
Rezzy oniovo o kri no....oma sasa?
Queenhecate congrats ma'am
Maureenslyvia how z you n yours?

ahnie:
Dear diary....haapy gudnyt .

The weather today no bee here...the cold was tuu mush,but wee tenk God for the availability of Lipton.

Something happened to me today .

So after the raining ceased...i went to my stylist house to inform her of my intention of coming next week Monday.

When I knocked at their gate...her boy of about 6years came towards the gate to check.i asked him the where about of his mum,kid told me mummy was inside.

The mum called his name from inside...asking him who he was talkin to.

The kid replied her thus:

Mummy Na that aunty Wey her small pikin dey talk-talk.
I looked at zino,and I was like...you see your life.everybody don know you.
The mum was still not understanding the description.

The lil boy said and I quote:
Mummy Na that aunty Wey born boy Wey you say if the aunty dey waka her Yan.sh nor dey shake.
Haaa I kukuma did a backturn and waka my shakeless yans.h dey go.

The mum came out and was telling him to shut up.

Chai what a description!

So na true you dey yarn since...

Thank you my sister @ahnie. God bless you plenty. Please I P.med you Lets talk

ahnie:
Dear diary....haapy gudnyt .

The weather today no bee here...the cold was tuu mush,but wee tenk God for the availability of Lipton.

Something happened to me today .

So after the raining ceased...i went to my stylist house to inform her of my intention of coming next week Monday.

When I knocked at their gate...her boy of about 6years came towards the gate to check.i asked him the where about of his mum,kid told me mummy was inside.

The mum called his name from inside...asking him who he was talkin to.

The kid replied her thus:

Mummy Na that aunty Wey her small pikin dey talk-talk.
I looked at zino,and I was like...you see your life.everybody don know you.
The mum was still not understanding the description.

The lil boy said and I quote:
Mummy Na that aunty Wey born boy Wey you say if the aunty dey waka her Yan.sh nor dey shake.
Haaa I kukuma did a backturn and waka my shakeless yans.h dey go.

The mum came out and was telling him to shut up.

Chai what a description!

Children of nowadays can kill person. Mehn, that was a description. We need to be careful with whatever we do or say around children.

How are you doing and Chibobo.?



About the home lesson, where will you be leaving your children when going out in the evening? Remember, home lesson is not constant. As in, they can decide to stop any time. Getting another one might become an issue, except of course you have contact with other teachers that can connect you to parents who need home lesson teacher.

Thanks for checking on us

rezzy:


Children of nowadays can kill person. Mehn, that was a description. We need to be careful with whatever we do or say around children.

How are you doing and Chibobo.?



About the home lesson, where will you be leaving your children when going out in the evening? Remember, home lesson is not constant. As in, they can decide to stop any time. Getting another one might become an issue, except of course you have contact with other teachers that can connect you to parents who need home lesson teacher.

Thanks for checking on us

I wee carry my investment along....!
How z kamiye and ogheneyole dooying.Btw sorry abt emamezi.i read your diary.

MummyJJ:
Thank you my sister @ahnie. God bless you plenty. Please I P.med you Lets talk

my nl pm nor dey werk.pls do as instructed.....congrats in Advance

ahnie:
I wee carry my investment along....!
How z kamiye and ogheneyole dooying.Btw sorry abt emamezi.i read your diary.

They are fine. Thanks you my dear sister

Hello girlie splen....Awhayu,guessing you aaa fyne.lemmi gist you,bring your ear closer.

So after recovering from mymalaria bouts/postpartum episodes.i cum finally advised myself by myself.i Kant continue to bee a superwoolman.i need to take a break.so I have decided to mop the sitting room thrice a week,same applicable to the bedroom,kitchen, lobby n restroom.

Mr ahlez was like that z laziness.abeg I nor try?Dude was naggin his lungs out...who cares!

I also told him that everyday fetching of water I don stop am.even if Na two buckets I fetch a day wee go manage am.

Yes oooo.i 8 dirts...but I garra take it easy.i wee continue 100%when am super fit.

Daz it.

Shalom!

Dear splen...i started the clean-clean business again o.i cleaned the entire house today.....very sparkling I must confess.

So yesterday....mr ahlez gave me money to get foodstuffs for the family.

So Mrs talkie called this morning wanted bringing her boy over for me to babysit him,say she wan rush go market.i told her that I also wantu go to market.

But I went to the market late....so she met me fetching water and I quickly gave zino to her...then rushed to the market.my mind was not at ease.

Knowing Mrs talkie I trust her to take excellent care of zino,but I was worried about zee's cry cry aaatitude(lolz at the spelling)

I came back from the market almst late...dropped my stuffs at home,went to fetch zino.i blew our usual whistle coding...zee tear race and flung herself at mee...mama zino oyoyo.

I drank garri and beans cooked with potato.mehn it was sweet.we did small aproko I carried my shake -less yans.h and we left for home.

Splen...sowie I forgot to tell you something...

Chisom started taking ogi(pap)yesterday.
Guy struggled al-tru.He held my top firmly and was protesting his lungs out.

I giff up...xclusive z not for me,that boy can suck,and always wanting more,Na orobo im bee, mee I cant kipp up,I decided to improvise.

So I bought flour from the market....i wee bee making doughnuts for Zino tomorrow and wee also bake a cake for her.mrs talkie said I should tissssh her how to make doughnut rolls.

Mama you dey try. I raise Beyonce hand for you. God bless your family.

Hello diary....so today my entire family went into serious prayer.chibobo inclusive.

So we asked God to disgrace Mr mohit.yes oooh God must send that garlic licking abi Na ginger sniffing pig skinned indian back to his fuckin.g kantry(country)

Indians are so wicked...with their fake hair strands like xpired attachments that has expired 45 years ago.

I hate their films...i don't like any of their fecking thing.How can a human being eats raw okra/okro.

Indian pipo are so stingy with common chicken that they wee eat one small chicken lap for 8weeks ..Damn who does that?only Indians I guess.infact an indian man wee take 12 months to finish one okuku igbo(native hen)or half kilo of chicken.
Even the Nigerian Rat looks well fed than most Indians that I yaff seen.

Their discoloured sets of dentition z another problem to me...And if you are unfortunate to meet the chubby/fat one with smellingarmpits inside keke....consider it say e don bee for you beta.

Wetin they vex me for their lives na that small chainlike talisman Wey them dey tie for their wrist like people Wey them born inside shrine

So after the fire � prayer section...mr ahlez went to work.

I cleaned,mopped and did the laundry and fetched water as usual.I made donuts � n puffpuff.

Bathe my kids...cajoled them to sleep and off i zoomed to our nearby market to get palm kernel nuts(banga) .....i also bot vegetables,tomatoes,pepper,fish included.my meat customer didn't come.

I have prepared my banga soup and vegetable stew....God please protect my husband/family in Jesus name....Amen

Dear pafi mi....lang time.
The rain z hammering here in ma hood sinc last NYT.
So we woke up this morning...thank God I hold out some water and filled the pails.
So no need going to fetch water from my neighbours again.

I went to a graduation party yesterday,it was fun,the teachers need to work on the kids from the pre schoolers up to the graders.

The Mc killed the occasion with his contant failed attempt to speak grammar.there was one English he spoke I just gats to unstrap my baby from my back and went outside for fresh air.the English goes thus:

These children are dooyin wonderfully well here...when I go home...i will tell people what my eyes have SAW!

Me after hearing the English....i was like Oshey,my mind flashed back to malllam Abdullahi my biology teacher in my former alma Mata.That Dan gombe mallam English no bee here o.i could remember him flogging the hell outta of my isoko demons with all his strength.simply because he called me and I ran away.Aboki came with his sokoto cane.

Kai yanriya nyamiri I am calling you,you ran away ko?now that I have caught you can you RAN?

Prettyhurts sorry for your loss...God wee give you triple for your loss.
Forzarush go fort and bring awa baby.
Giddyperson abeg leave that pregnant MR alone...the guy don even over shadow his wife sef.
Zaynie hope all z well with you...while you no pick my calls?
Liftedhands...long time maa'mi.
Mummyjj how far with that stuff?
Sir udochee hope Yu are okay...it yaff tayed oooh.benignasweety how z you and yours?
Damsel21 don't worry you wee bee fine...this phase wee soon pass away.The lord z your muscles.

I love you guys!

Shallom

Happy Sunday oni Zino

rezzy:
Happy Sunday oni Zino

Oniovo me ......wo da ma gangan...oghene fio bo ko wev.

Dear diary

How I go take talk am....had a ruff week.

First of all...i had a fight with mr ahlez yes ooh.

I don too keep kwayet...and i decided to release my grinding isoko demon .

Chibobo poop on his nappy close to 12am,zino assisted me with getting wipes and i removed the nappy wiped the poop and told zino to watch over her bros.

I deposited the nappy inside bucket rinsed the poop and flushed,then kept the wipes on the loo's floor.well kept ooo.

Mr ahlez came and was nagging away his grey hairs...i kuku kip am kwayet.he said i shud ve gone outside to discard the wipes.that itiz a very dirty habit my not discarding the stained pooped wipes.i told him to leave it there that i wee trow it away when dawn comes.

Zino got fedup with the nagging sef...she started telling her fada loudly:Daddy E don du o.Daddy keep kwayet...hanhan you too talk.Dude hushed up.seems zino z his mumu button.

So i managed my aggressive inner isoko demon that was spoiling for a fight .i had to remind my self that ayam a born again...evendeo say i don backslide reach 500times.so we held our peace till the break of dawn.

I nor kuku stand up go warm food for him...dude just bathed,got dressed and started throwing shades in Igbo to me.

I told my inner isoko demon to bee calm....wen he see say I didn't utter any word...he came to where we were kissed chibobo n zino and threw another shade telling them that I refused to give him food.

Phew off he went...and I had my PEACE.zino continued her usual antics....i shouted as usual.

Mr came back home in the evening I made eba down,but I made sure I ate the meat...it has BN isokocally proven that :Men whom their wives starved food in the morning before they leav for work/businesses,that when serve meatless food often do not have the power to quarrel/fights/shades after eating the food.

ahnie

nwanyi isoko. you like quarrel pass trouble ehhh.#wehdone ma. zino & chiboy are really getting along well. you guys should stay safe.

ahnie:


Oniovo me ......wo da ma gangan...oghene fio bo ko wev.

Amen. #Smiles#

So we gave it to ourselves...i yaff had it up my throat....He went and continued cooking his Benue jollof-rice.but that nyt he knew i yaff had it up my sleeves.

I refused eating his benye rice wey he didnt put salt(apology to benue people)


So later mr came around when he has succeeded caging his ossisssa demon,i gave him a piece of my mind as e dey do me.no time for chronicles.

We settled that nyt....but not with my natural myndd.sometimes marriage can bee frustrating...you wee feel like nautering and giving your pathner the Bob barker treatment

Men eeh sometimes una nor dey try....una think say women na robot.learn to appreciate what you have by a li2 words of encouragement.

You see Mr ahlez z the sober type when all guilt up.you wee see him humbly himself like lord farquaard.

Verily verily I tell you my dear fellow mamas,marriage z one crazy institution.

Dear diary...same last week

I was at home after bathing my bundles(kids)so off I went to make my puff puff.i forced zino to sleep,that Zino Can make someone with soprano voice to become bassist.

Chibobo woke up and I nestled him to my boobi and continued frying my puffpuff n doughnuts.

Mrs talkie came tru the kitchen axis...and saw me on bum shorts and bra.

She cudnt cuff her buccal cavity and she went thus;
Eeeh Babe Na wa...why you too dey like wear bumshort for house anytime Wey I come .

I gave her straight away...wetin come bee the meaning of that one nah?So I nor go fit wear bum shorts for my own house again...abi Na you bee my husband Na!

Yes...i had to give it to her ahead ahead because time no de.she then changed her ringtone that,that was not what she meant.

Me....wetin you come mean!
Talkie:I mean say you for dey tie wrapper once in awhile as a x-tian.
Me:scoffs
Me:you Wey de preach you nor de wear bumshorts n short knickers for you house?
Talkie:started stuttering.

Dear lord....please that which we are expecting this August let it come to fruition in Jesus name.

Pls let Mr Alex keep to his promises in Jesus name and may anything he touches turned into goldmine.grant him his innate heart desires may he also bless others.

Grant my entire fam both unclean n extended with sound health and genuine salvation...but let the evul ones amongst them be crippled n bedridden in Jesus name.but if they refused to repent from their evul ways....father pls just Bend their necks and let them die
..Amen