was telling a friend about how dangote lost some huge amount of over 500m due to lack of structured economy at the early years of apc administration.when he heard me say 500m he dint even allow me finish what i was sayin. He jex started asking me questions like for where he lost the money? Who pick am??.even when i was trying to explain.he thought he lost it in a bag.this got me laughin

Flashh:
One day, me and my Chinese friend "Zhang Wei", were together in Macau. A young lady called Chin Siu started telling us Q版手办-莉娜-B款. Q版主题手办 莉娜.
Q版主题手办-莉娜-B款 Q版 主题 手办 莉娜 B版 手办 : 手办 團體數量眾多，以下只列出較「著名」泛指已多於1次於官方伺服器雄霸排行榜（即霸服）。
本頁面並非招生用，任何招生訊息將會被刪除，謝謝合作。
現有團體
組織標籤 根據地 團體簡述

I fell to laughter, when Chin Siu told us 又名SK，起於東亞比較出名的成員是，其餘成員很少出現。

It all happened to me in China. Very funny day.

无聊

Mine is that my teacher wud tell me 2 write a letter to my brother in London telling him d condition of my health, in which I didn't av any brother over there in London. I'll be like waz dis woman saying sef....funny old days

davillian:
I remember d day we went swimming @ the jeti opposite American embassy in v/island as a kid.
My friend Henry was drawing and his younger bro oshole was screaming "Henry dey swim"

Don't Get.. ... *Drawing *

N o n s e n s e

Back in the day-primary school days. There was this my crush always forming hard to get cos she was beautiful and intelligent. Class monitor then. This same girl would at slightest provocation tell me she would beat me after school hours. In my mind I would want to cry, tnking of possible ways to dodge her. She would beat me and put sand in my mouth...kai, going to school becomes a nightmare.
One day during break time, she strong naa... With her friends, they possesesed the swing / janglover. We only had to sit and watch them do their thing cos if you dare complain...hmmm.
All of a sudden as she was swinging, she in the process of showing off, swinged herself on the swing's hook. The hook tore her dirty pant and she was hanging upside down helpless and naked. God! There wasn't any camera then. Nna meehn I look tire. So fed my eyes eeh . Her friends wr so helpless. Until the headmistress came to her rescue and brought her down. No so shakara end o..

She dey Ghana now and has been asking to see me...lol said she wanna make it up to me. Make my bae catchu.

*That year...after her beating, I'll be like...


*When sharing wt friends....

oviejnr:

he is a terrible liar thinks say na children he de tell

R3m0t3C0ntr01:
Which one I go talk oooooo
okay!
I was in 100 level in my Hostel in the campus when, on a Saturday, arsenal was playing against Chelsea.
While the match was on, na so NEPA take light.
It was in year 2009.
So as Nepa take light, most people comot from the common room, go back to their rooms to wait for light.
About 10 minutes later, na so Nepa bring light back.
Oboi! come see race from everywhere for that hostel as boys and men begin run back to that common room.
Me Don already start to cook for my room, so I no fit join them run.
But one of my roommates was around that day, he was sleeping with his boxers on. The guy doesn't watch football at all.
From inside sleep, as the sound of running footsteps hit the guy like this, he just stand from bed like say Na Jazz, as he stand, na so he run comot from room o, begin run with those boys like mad man.
From where I hold spoon, dey turn food, I wan laff tire cos the guy no dey watch ball, he no know why people dey run, yet he just dey tear race.
Lol! anyway, after he reach the common room, come see say it was football that actually made those boys run, not fire or any other emergency, na so my roommate begin come back to room.
if u see as the guy face don tight ehn! the guy dooon veeeeex. He just dey curse those boys under his breath.
me just dey wait for am, I wan fall for laughter that day.
When the other roommates come and I tell them the story, dem laff tire too.
Oga Dessy, wherever you are today, maybe even reading this, I greet you brother!

This is fucccking funny! Have been laughing like a madt girl

that funny moment in court when a lawyer holding the brief of CBN wasn't properly dressed.

when asked why he wasn't properly dressed and how come CBN couldn't afford a lawyer, he said "my lord we are In recession".

the whole court erupted in laughter that day.

EntMirror:
Mine happened 4 years ago, just finished driving school and was cruzing with my New ride. I was jejely playing one psquare song and all of a sudden, it feels as though there was an earthquake.. I look at the side mirror and behold, Dangote trailer was coming behind me with full speed. The horn of that trailer nearly made me to jump out of my skin.. The rest is history anyway.. Just that I didn't drive till after a month later..

Those trailer drivers can be as reckless as reckless itself.

And then

I remembered when one senior pangolo gave me N1 to buy egg roll worth of N5. As a Somolu boy then, I disappeared with his money

Very true.

Juliearth:



Those trailer drivers can be as reckless as reckless itself.

At Abuja, A neighbor bought a new car and offered to give me a lift, It was raining and my feet were kinda muddy.. Didn't know when I respectfully pulled my slippers before entering the car.. The car drove off and I left my slippers there....

R3m0t3C0ntr01:
Which one I go talk oooooo
okay!
I was in 100 level in my Hostel in the campus when, on a Saturday, arsenal was playing against Chelsea.
While the match was on, na so NEPA take light.
It was in year 2009.
So as Nepa take light, most people comot from the common room, go back to their rooms to wait for light.
About 10 minutes later, na so Nepa bring light back.
Oboi! come see race from everywhere for that hostel as boys and men begin run back to that common room.
Me Don already start to cook for my room, so I no fit join them run.
But one of my roommates was around that day, he was sleeping with his boxers on. The guy doesn't watch football at all.
From inside sleep, as the sound of running footsteps hit the guy like this, he just stand from bed like say Na Jazz, as he stand, na so he run comot from room o, begin run with those boys like mad man.
From where I hold spoon, dey turn food, I wan laff tire cos the guy no dey watch ball, he no know why people dey run, yet he just dey tear race.
Lol! anyway, after he reach the common room, come see say it was football that actually made those boys run, not fire or any other emergency, na so my roommate begin come back to room.
if u see as the guy face don tight ehn! the guy dooon veeeeex. He just dey curse those boys under his breath.
me just dey wait for am, I wan fall for laughter that day.
When the other roommates come and I tell them the story, dem laff tire too.
Oga Dessy, wherever you are today, maybe even reading this, I greet you brother!

uniben?

Flashh:
One day, me and my Chinese friend "Zhang Wei", were together in Macau. A young lady called Chin Siu started telling us Q版手办-莉娜-B款. Q版主题手办 莉娜.
Q版主题手办-莉娜-B款 Q版 主题 手办 莉娜 B版 手办 : 手办 團體數量眾多，以下只列出較「著名」泛指已多於1次於官方伺服器雄霸排行榜（即霸服）。
本頁面並非招生用，任何招生訊息將會被刪除，謝謝合作。
現有團體
組織標籤 根據地 團體簡述

I fell to laughter, when Chin Siu told us 又名SK，起於東亞比較出名的成員是，其餘成員很少出現。

It all happened to me in China. Very funny day.

WTF!

I remember a certain Saturday about 12 years ago, my siblings and I sat down to watch Cadbury break fast television after rushing up our chores so not to miss our fav comedies and cartoons. While watching, dad came to the sitting room and gave my immediate older brother money to get him razor blade, my brother collected the money and was trying to force to go get the razor, dad heard us arguing about going to buy the razor and never said a word, 30 minutes later we had forgotten about going to buy the razor and continued watching TV. He came out from his room and asked who wanted to follow him to his office, we all jumped up cos we knew going to his office means gifts and money from junior officers. We got to the office, he left us there only for us to see him coming with a sergeant and the man was like oga abeg forgive them, before we knew what was happening we were thrown into the guard room on my father's order oh.... We were there till evening without food or water until momsy came back from wherever it is she went to and throwed fire and brimstone.. I was fifteen, my brother was seventeen, and my sister 13. We sure learnt a lesson that day, now we just laugh about it whenever we remember that day

Shaking my hard her

In secondary school.

One Monday morning during holiday.
I dey my house 'jeje'.
My friend from same school and class came to me, he convinced me go and visit another female class mate whom I had a crush on.

We drove there. Getting there we parked in front of her house and walked in the gate like a regular visitor.
We climbed upstairs. Knocked on the door.
Her mum responded ''who is that" I replied... " me. I want to see ....."
She took her time and when she came to the door, even b4 opening... she screamed *thief! thief!*

Till now I don't know how my friend and I ran down the stairs and scaled the fence.

Landing at the other side of the fence..neighbours were waiting with sticks and cutlasses... They chased my friend and I running different ways.

After running a long distance... I looked back and saw two young men chasing me with sticks and some iron rods.
One of the shouted "guy; abeg wait. Abeg"
I then waited. They made me fall on the floor and pretended to be beating me. When I noticed that. I also pretended to cry in pains. They later told me to stand up and run away. Which I did.

Getting home...I met my friend waiting eagerly for me.
He said those boys did same to him and one of them took him home on bike.

Later that evening. We summoned courage and went back for the car before my parents returned.

It was then we me all those guys who chased us in the morning.

They called us and apologized. They said they had to do so just to please the woman. And that we were not the first set of boys she will do that to.

When we resumed at school this lady was ashamed of her mother's act and apologized to me and my friend... We con dey form vexing.
I didn't talk to her till we graduated from secondary school.

Coincidentally, this lady and I gained admission into the same uni; same department; and same year.
We were class mates again.
By then maturity don come....and u know the rest.

Khodorkovsky:
The most funny memory I ever had was the day I started watching crazy clown comedy , I laughed so hard that night , tears was coming out from my eyes ,from around 9pm to 1am , I was just laughing , that manner you don't want people to here your voice which forces tears and sweat together . I can't forget that day ever.
During a youth program , there were three halls being used , the main hall was the main place where youth sat and the second one while the third one was for hostel or sleeping place sha for boys , me and my friends were resting on the bed at the third hall when out of no where we started hearing noise of full stops , na so we stand up look toward pulpit side , we saw crowd like up to 4000 rushing towards our direction , we did not even bother to know what happened , we joined in the race too , I think I was faster than usain bolt that day, at last at last , after running for about 15 hours , calm was restored and we got to know the cause was just a lizard that came towards where the girls were sitting down.

..that should ne cac ikeji camp ground,right?

mamziii:
I remember a certain Saturday about 12 years ago, my siblings and I sat down to watch Cadbury break fast television after rushing up our chores so not to miss our fav comedies and cartoons. While watching, dad came to the sitting room and gave my immediate older brother money to get him razor blade, my brother collected the money and was trying to force to go get the razor, dad heard us arguing about going to buy the razor and never said a word, 30 minutes later we had forgotten about going to buy the razor and continued watching TV. He came out from his room and asked who wanted to follow him to his office, we all jumped up cos we knew going to his office means gifts and money from junior officers. We got to the office, he left us there only for us to see him coming with a sergeant and the man was like oga abeg forgive them, before we knew what was happening we were thrown into the guard room on my father's order oh.... We were there till evening without food or water until momsy came back from wherever it is she went to and throwed fire and brimstone.. I was fifteen, my brother was seventeen, and my sister 13. We sure learnt a lesson that day, now we just laugh about it whenever we remember that day

your dad tough o

Ewww @ nos 1 and 3

MrDickman:
Mine was when I was In secondary school. Boarding house.

Me and my partner victor will sneak to the back of girls hostel and to their dump yard looking for used sanitary pads

Then we be like na Bolu go get this one , #No bolu never fit start to dey menstruate na Laide Go get am # Laide sef still be small girl na precious e go be..

Until one day we were caught . The rest was history. Never seen old victor since then. So many years down the line now. I miss that dude die



2. Still in secondary school I asked a girl in class if she was a virgin. The idiot headed straight like a raging bull into the staff room to report. I was severely dealt to the extent my niggas had to use balm to massage my ass for me in the hostel later that night. No exagerration, I received more than 500 strokes of cane from diffrent teachers that day.


3. Thirdly I was about 23 yrs of age that year. I defaecated on my body. I was suffering from dirrheoa. NYSC camp Adamawa. There was no money so I had to depend on camp food to survive. I later regretted it. It happened during parade. As I ran straight towards the dorm the soldiers were confused as to what was chasing me and ran after me. When they saw my condition they pitied me and even help me get water

QueenOfNepal:
Anytime i read this comment i start laughing

Oh...boy. I laughed so hard reading that comment.

Ginaz:
I can remember vividly, got to be in S.S1. When my grandpa asked us to throw away the trash, I and my cousin forgot. When we wanted to sleep, he came outside locked the door and said we won't enter until we throw the trash from his compound.

We shared the dirts ,no cheating on a flat rubber bowl and off we went. Now there is this thing with my eyes, when it is night time and the moonlight is shining on a face of water I will think it is sand. I can't seem to differentiate between a sand and water at night time (up till now o, this one pass night blindness)

As we were returning home, I saw white sand before me. My cousin said it was water, I said no, it was sand. I stepped in and wow, right into a soak- away!!!

With my newly bought shoes!!

I was saved by sheer shock and a strong will to survive as I quickly jumped out with the help of my cousin. My body was dipping with people's excrements, smelling like poo and shiit.

Got home, took a bath, slept off with all the anger the world.


*******

The one an okada rider did nko? Fell me into a muddy water in the middle of the market. My school uniform wet all over. Funny thing he ran away.

Septic tank not soak away.

hmmmmm...

I had a huge crush on a mate's big sister. She was way older than i was. I sent her a text professing my love.
I withheld my number, thinking it won't show when I send the text. The embarassment that followed was collosal! That was in 2006.