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My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! - Family - Nairaland

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My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by alfredo4u(m): 3:13am On Jan 26, 2018
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

23 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by LadySarah: 3:51am On Jan 26, 2018
First,ithe house is for the Both of you not yours alone.
secondly,your wife is supposed to restrict her comm with the said young man.why is she even going to collect food from him ?

SOLN: Get the intruders no,tell him in clear terms that you dont want him near your apartment or family again.(I'm assuming your wife refused to tell him and he is unaware of your grouse),so that When next you see the Both ,whstever you Do nobody will blame you.
Also understand that your wife is your partner not child and deserves respect .communicate with her As an adult and the issues will be sorted out.

69 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by OneCorner: 3:55am On Jan 26, 2018
Leave those men alone with ur wife na.
Patapata, they will fvck her and at the end of d day, she's still yours again.


Abi wetin I talk no make sense ni

27 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nutase: 4:14am On Jan 26, 2018
Dicey situation. Your wife is lost and your attitude will only give her a justification for her actions.

I pray you both can work things out but right now the truth is that the key to getting your wife back lies with that guy calling off that 'friendship' because your wife has lost her sense of reasoning to her weak emotions.

153 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Donald3d(m): 4:15am On Jan 26, 2018
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na undecided, una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei lipsrsealed cry
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the .... lipsrsealed

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Abeg make una check my signature cool cool cool

292 Likes 26 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by alfredo4u(m): 4:40am On Jan 26, 2018
Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na undecided, una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei lipsrsealed cry
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the .... lipsrsealed

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Thanks so much.... May God bless you so much for me. You are wonderful.... I pray God to give you a wonderful woman to marry. Thanks once again.

120 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Oyindidi(f): 5:12am On Jan 26, 2018
Report her to her parents. 10pm at a single guy's apartment and she's trying to make it look like it's okay.

I believe you have the guy's number, call him and tell him to stay away from your wife.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Oyindidi(f): 5:15am On Jan 26, 2018
Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na undecided, una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei lipsrsealed cry
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the .... lipsrsealed

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too
Why you dey fear to marry?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Donald3d(m): 5:20am On Jan 26, 2018
Oyindidi:
Why you dey fear to marry?
grin grin I dey see strong strong marital issues nowadays , e dey make me fear o

11 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Donald3d(m): 5:22am On Jan 26, 2018
grin
alfredo4u:


Thanks so much.... May God bless you so much for me. You are wonderful.... I pray God to give you a wonderful woman to marry. Thanks once again.
Amen ooo , bless you too sir

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Oyindidi(f): 5:28am On Jan 26, 2018
Donald3d:
grin grin I dey see strong strong marital issues nowadays , e dey make me fear o
No fear, the op and the guy are close and the wife is taking their closeness to another level.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by hopeforcharles(m): 5:59am On Jan 26, 2018
Sincerely speaking I wonder if some women actually think at all, because It baffles me how you are married and still yet can openly disrespect your husband like this, I know all the talks about been partners and not a kid but this woman's attitude towards her husband request is not it,
Report her to your Spiritual head and her parents also tell the guy you don't want him around your wife and if she refuses then it's obvious she is cheating on you just look for ways to relocate them to your new location or outrightly suspend her
It seems she has forgotten that they are the reason why you are out there looking for a work, a way to better their life.

21 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by dingbang(m): 6:00am On Jan 26, 2018
The bible says a woman can use her hands to destroy her marriage...

10 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by alfredo4u(m): 6:09am On Jan 26, 2018
Oyindidi:
No fear, the op and the guy are close and the wife is taking their closeness to another level.

Sincerely is not everything I will say here. I have gone through a lot just because of both of them. More than two neighbours have complained about two of them to me. If not for the sake of God and because divorce is not encouraged in my place i would have divorce her now that God have bless me.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by mankettle(m): 6:10am On Jan 26, 2018
Not sending feed money is punishing yourself in 2 ways.
1. The children will not have food.
2. It will forge the bond between your wife and the single dude.
Be wise.
Send the money to her. Call the dude and tell him no trespassing. Even if they are best of friends he should respect distances. My best friend is a lady but the moment she started dating and got married I kept my distance in order to respect her home.
Finally tell your wife's parent and am sure she will be called to order... Give an ultimatum that if you see or hear that she is still with him you are returning her for adultery

28 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Oyindidi(f): 6:18am On Jan 26, 2018
alfredo4u:


Sincerely is not everything I will say here. I have gone through a lot just because of both of them. More than two neighbours have complained about two of them to me. If not for the sake of God and because divorce is not encouraged in my place i would have divorce her now that God have bless me.
Talk to the guy since she's not listening to you.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by sulakishop(m): 6:37am On Jan 26, 2018
You are still single

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

7 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by uboma(m): 6:52am On Jan 26, 2018
alfredo4u:


Sincerely is not everything I will say here. I have gone through a lot just because of both of them. More than two neighbours have complained about two of them to me. If not for the sake of God and because divorce is not encouraged in my place i would have divorce her now that God have bless me.



What do you mean by this, divorce is not encouraged in my place....?


If what you reported in your first post is true, you have no business seeing her as your wife.


Being in a marriage isn't a do or die affair especially when your partner is acting this way.

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Uyi168: 7:19am On Jan 26, 2018
OneCorner:
Leave those men alone with ur wife na. Patapata, they will fvck her and at the end of d day, she's still yours again.

Abi wetin I talk no make sense ni

..No,na nonesense u talk...

10 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by alfredo4u(m): 7:36am On Jan 26, 2018
sulakishop:
You are still single


Im a father of two......my daughter is four this while my son is one...
Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Ganjafama(m): 7:37am On Jan 26, 2018
alfredo4u:


Sincerely is not everything I will say here. I have gone through a lot just because of both of them. More than two neighbours have complained about two of them to me. If not for the sake of God and because divorce is not encouraged in my place i would have divorce her now that God have bless me.
That guy is already fvcking your wife and you are here saying this. I hate saying this but you have moral standing to divorce that woman. She has no iota of respect for your manhood. Take your kids to mum or sister and send the idiot away.

43 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 7:39am On Jan 26, 2018
She is sleeping with the guy already or she is about to.

17 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 7:54am On Jan 26, 2018
Emotional Vulnerability....Na so e dey take start...na small small

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 7:59am On Jan 26, 2018
alfredo4u:


Sincerely is not everything I will say here. I have gone through a lot just because of both of them. More than two neighbours have complained about two of them to me. If not for the sake of God and because divorce is not encouraged in my place i would have divorce her now that God have bless me.




Guy, handle your home well na.

1. Complain to the landlord about the neighbors been unusually close to your wife


2. Talk to the so-called close neighbors about your displeasure about all this


3. Whatever excuses pushes your wife to his place, buy it and there wont be excuse


4. Your woman is loose, don't mind my tips above, but just try to fix these loose ends...


5. Call and inform her relatives


6. Bringing in one of your own relatives


7. Start initiating video calls not just voice calls.

8. It's not good for your kids to see another male figure in the house o. This is not good, why do you stay far from your wife? Always, i repeat always choose the house your rent in accordance with your wife's behavior. Your wife can't stay in a compound or area with too many people around, find an area that's secluded, an area where no idle people to rent next time

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by AnodaIT(m): 8:13am On Jan 26, 2018
One guy was telling us how his married neighbor always come and do beverages for him and she likes taking things from his fridge which of course he has no issue

He asked whether to make a move since she was already giving him all the green signs
Mind you, this was 6 months ago here on nairaland

82 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 8:15am On Jan 26, 2018
AnodaIT:
One guy was telling us how his married neighbor always come and do beverages for him and she likes taking things from his fridge which of course he has no issue

He asked whether to make a move since she was already giving him all the green signs
Mind you, this was 6 months ago here on nairaland



Hahahahaha grin

13 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 8:37am On Jan 26, 2018
This case is delicate and requires maturity when handling. By your actions, you have simply pushed your wife into the arms of that dude.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 8:39am On Jan 26, 2018
she is fvcking d guy already file 4 divorce be4 she carry another man pikin put 4 ur head. lipsrsealed

19 Likes 6 Shares

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Ladyhippolyta88(f): 9:55am On Jan 26, 2018
LadySarah:
First,ithe house is for the Both of you not yours alone.
secondly,your wife is supposed to restrict her comm with the said young man.why is she even going to collect food from him ?

SOLN: Get the intruders no,tell him in clear terms that you dont want him near your apartment or family again.(I'm assuming your wife refused to tell him and he is unaware of your grouse),so that When next you see the Both ,whstever you Do nobody will blame you.
Also understand that your wife is your partner not child and deserves respect .communicate with her As an adult and the issues will be sorted out.
Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Agbaletu: 10:52am On Jan 26, 2018
alfredo4u:



I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food.


Don't make that mistake, even if you are going to divorce her, continue to give her until the day she leaves. Don't complicate the issue.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Disregarded My Instructions! I Stopped Calling Her! by Nobody: 10:56am On Jan 26, 2018
But where is lalasticlala sef undecided

No comment from my side angry

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