Uniquejames:


Sorry!

I meant girls that explore when it comes to sexual affair, not the ones that lie as log of woods during s3xual intercourse.

Bros wetin you dey try talk Abeg??

sheikshegetto:

This is not happening, why have I allowed myself to be foolishly tied up like a sacrificial goat in the first place and now I was helpless to stop this girl from ramming that thing up my ass.

This right here is a rib cracker
You're so good with this, that I had to open an account to comment here.
You're gifted baba, more ink to your pen

Sheikshegetto! U dun make laff kiilll me here. So badd00 like u fit run for your life

SokizzRaven:
Bros wetin you dey try talk Abeg??

bro as e be for your mind na so I mean am :d

I would have said u are a fagg*t if u had allowed her to ram that horse-looking artificial preeq into ur nyash!...hahahahaha!!

nice 1 baba..... I hail ooooo.... dis towi na die I beg wen is d next update

just three words bro, YOU DESERVE an AWARD! no story on nairaland has ever cracked me up like this... God bless you sir

sheikshegetto this is the best story ever written in the history of nairaland. More grace to you bro. Jah bless

bro, pls when is the next update? Don't let this superb story die a natural death ooo

the problem with most naira land story is that they like abandoning story ..dont start what you know you wont finish

osuofia2:
the problem with most naira land story is that they like abandoning story ..dont start what you know you wont finish

Who is abandoning what?? Are you sure that you are following this story at all

Sensitivity1254:


Who is abandoning what?? Are you sure that you are following this story at all

When was the last update?

osuofia2:

When was the last update?

My good sir... The last update was last week Tuesday...I have a life outside nairaland bruh...and i still try to fill in as much update as i can manage, its not as if i have completed the story and I'm being wicked by stingily dishing it out in titbits... This kind of comment is discouraging.

The fear of being anally raped is the beginning of wisdom. I avoided Karen successful for a whole week, ignored her calls and messages. Rotating sleeping places like someone with an assassin contract on his head. Crashing for a while with my friends until I finally left to seek succor on sweet Helen’s bosoms.
One does not get to value the act of affiliating with a meek and gentle person until you get tangled with a troublesome somebody, I began to see Helen with a new light. Now here’s someone that’s not gonna rape you with a dild*o, tie you up like Ogun festival dog and beat you within the very inch of your life.

Karen finally had enough, she then bullied Lati into luring me out of hiding. I called him to ask if the coast was clear at my place so I could come pick up a few clothing and other necessities…my guy said no shaking make I dey come.

Behold, on getting to my lodge I found Karen waiting for me, arms akimbo in all her furious glory. My traitor friend Lati grimacing sheepishly behind her with a nervous shoulder shrug that reads…my life or yours my friend nothing personal. My survival instincts almost sent me turning tail and hurling ass but I instead choose to get all the shenanigans over with, I mean how long was I going to keep hiding. With a reproachful glance at Lati, I braced myself for the coming storm and Karen did not disappoint as she railed at me with her lashy tongue accusing me of getting her worried sick after running out her place in the middle of the night, refused to pick her calls, reply her frantic texts, telling me how selfish I had been for putting her through unnecessary stress when she only wanted to find out whether I was fine and not lying dead in a gutter or something; etcetera etcetera.
A little angry at the way she nimbly avoided the humiliating reason I fled her place in the first place, I fired back at her; called her a hypocrite for calling me selfish when she was the best fish seller ever. Criticizing her for attempting to use me without the least concern whether I consented to be used or not.
Typical of a day to day Karen who hated being at the wrong side of an argument, she fired back and everything blew out into a heated argument. Lati tried to pacify her but was sent reeling back as she nearly bite his head off.

sheikshegetto:
My good sir... The last update was last week Tuesday...I have a life outside nairaland bruh...and i still try to fill in as much update as i can manage, its not as if i have completed the story and I'm being wicked by stingily dishing it out in titbits... This kind of comment is discouraging.

OK BRO, DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL.. MORE INK TO YOUR PEN

Deep down, I knew this was my chance to get at least a finger on the driving wheel cos whoever I was fooling that gave me the illusion that I was the author and finisher of this relationship, Valentines day was the eye opener. So I needed to challenge her domineering habit for a change.

“look karen, cos after all said and done with whatever you have cooked up in your defense, the fact remains that you hurt me and tried to force something inside me (I ignored Lati as he coughed to cover his amusement) without my consent, you were wrong and since you have decided to go all defense attorney on me instead of admitting it, I’m not gonna sit back and take it with my ass up…(Lati fake coughed again)…SHUT UP LATI OR GO FIND COUGH SYRUP FOR YOUR SILLY COUGH…I finally snapped at him.
“anyway as I was saying, a relationship where you’re hurting more than you are happy, argue and fighting more than you play is toxic and common sense tells me to end it when I had enough.”

Karen’s glare after my statement could have lighted a dozen C and S prayer candles, Lati on the other hand, (I might have to sit down and rethink our friendship); drew back a step or two to avoid the bloodbath he suspected was coming but instead, Karen simply heaved heavily as if to control her temper and told me she was sorry… wait, did she just said sorry? I gaped at her in disbelief.

“I knew I took it too far with the yunno..stuff and everything so for that I’m sorry, for my actions I deserve to be avoided. Please forgive me.” She offered through gritted teeth.

Right there, at that point I began to feel my head swell, after all it’s not everyday you get you see Karen the Margret thatcher apologize, so I decide to savor it a little bit longer.

“Saying sorry can never be enough to replace all he humiliation you put me through Karen, I just think its for our own safety that we give ourselves space for a little while.” I replied with my best chief of justice voice.

“Please Bioye, you of all people know how volatile I can be in spite of all my attitudes, I took decisions without your consent, I beg you don’t end things because of my flaws, I’m willing to do anything to make it up to you.”

“Sorry enough to beg on your knees?” I knew I was taking my pettiness too far but I couldn’t help it, this babe don dey take my nose blow whistle since no be today. Another shocker happened as Karen dropped down on her knees. She even managed to make it look regal like she was doing me a favor.

Long story short, we reconciled and shared a hug, a self satisfied Lati grinned over my shoulder as if our reconciliation was his doing. Long after she was gone Lati confronted me still holding that annoying smirk on his face.

“Yunno say as you make that girl beg, knee down like common housewife for you, you go suffer am twofold.”

“Bruh yunno need tell me wetin I already know.” I replied.

True to her promise, Karen was as meek as a lamb for a few weeks, until her craziness manifested right back in full force.

osuofia2:

OK BRO, DONT TAKE IT PERSONAL.. MORE INK TO YOUR PEN

No harm no foul bruh.... But na you be the reason why today update short o...i had to drop this to pacify you.. Cheers.

sheikshegetto:
No harm no foul bruh.... But na you be the reason why today update short o...i had to drop this to pacify you.. Cheers.

Oya come and pour oil on me as the esu lalu ogirioko if not what happened to larrysun will happen to you

E no go spoil for you my brother! this memoir nah dope crack!

You too much bro, I dey gbadun ur piece of art wella, just be inviting ur peeps when u drop the hits

arabaribiti:


Oya come and pour oil on me as the esu lalu ogirioko if not what happened to larrysun will happen to you

arrhr edakun what happened to larrysun

BiadeFolar:
E no go spoil for you my brother! this memoir nah dope crack!

amin my brother...double portion of this i pray back at you.

Gody05:
You too much bro, I dey gbadun ur piece of art wella, just be inviting ur peeps when u drop the hits

thanks a bunch bro....happy I'm not letting you down.

osuofia2:

When was the last update?

Even if the last update was two weeks ago.

Do you really think that he don't have a life outside NL?

boss sheikhs as e be say you dea take your time do your thing abeg dea help us make the update long small so we go at least get something to hold.

as for that osuofia guy please dont because of his type punish we the loyal fellows, overlook comments like that next time.

MORE INK TO YOUR PEN BRO

This short update is dedicated to Sensitivity1254 ...truth be told, it has been your solid supportive comments that has been pulling me back everytime my interest drops,....to complete this memoir by fire by force

And to BiadeFolar and Uniquejames.... These brothers have been following this thread all the way from the start, unselfish with their praises and criticisms....i SALUTE you.

*****************************************************


True to her promise, Karen was as meek as a lamb for a few weeks, until her craziness manifested right back in full force.
Y'all never been wondering why there was lesser girl drama now than the precious semester.

I’m saying it now, the number one reason folks look out beyond their relationships to cheat all comes down to two things; boredom and idleness…you can’t be bored in a relationship with Karen cos when you thought you have seen it all, she always manages to shock you with someone new. Idleness starts when the giddy excitement that comes with all new relationships thawed down into something lukewarm, with Karen you always had to be on your toes cos she was one jealous chic.

Never forget the content behind my lengthy memoir…this is about me steadily transiting into the man that i am today, as each girl I had encountered taught me a lesson or two and a habit to go with it so Karen in her own megalomaniac way empowered me with the skill to lie as easily as I draw breath. For folks wondering why I write more about Karen than Helen, well she never gave me half as much headache as Karen did. Not until they both crossed path that almost blew into a full blown war of secession.... Now that’ll I be disclosing in the nearest future.
Saying Karen was a jealous chic was so much of an understatement, I know of a couple of her friends I never saw again cos they looked at me wrong, at first my vain self was flattered but it became annoying after a while. Nothing stifles a grown man more.

I could remember vividly mid semester after I finally got over the fear of spending the night at her place, she was so excited about it she helped me packed enough clothing for two weeks that I began to regret ever agreeing to go with her for fear of another inevitable surprise like the last time.

Compared to Helen's place, her air conditioned apartment with the sat decoder installed, her crib had all the comfort plus more in the likes of stable electricity supply just like my own lodge which has made me quite complacent and uncomfortable in places wey no dey get light.

I have nothing against sweet Helen's place though cos at least I can sleep peacefully on her voluminous boobies without the fear of her sticking a rod up my nether region.
Her lodge was just too filled with gossiping judgmental spiri-coco neighbors with reproachful eyes following me all the way as I walked up to her room.

All these made her so uncomfortable we sneak-sexed…meaning we muffled our cries of pleasure, turning us into two dumb coupling goats. This, combined with her…well yunno…the lie down like log of wood position; made sure our sex life sucked simply because Helen was actually concerned about what her neighbors thought of her; oh! She brings a guy to sleep over, no home training….. Imagine her making oohh ahh sounds in the night, ashewo 10kobo, no dignity at all.

We rarely fought but when we do, it was because of our disagreement over the said issue, like for example on random days when you feeling the konji rising and cuddled close to your babe for comfort and she then goes, “wait till night, what will they think if someone knocks and we didn’t answer.” and I would be like. “Woman! I’m spending the night, whatever they think in the afternoon won’t matter nor change their opinion.”

And then her fuse would blow up right there.

“Whatever they think may not matter to you but it does to me, you won’t be the one they gossip about after you leave but you don’t care because you’re a man.”

“Madam calm down, what has me being a man has to do with this matter on ground now.”

“You’re asking me that, I mean can’t you just come, keep me company and cuddle and talk when I need my boyfriend with you not looking forward to sucking my large breasts?”

“Biko Helen come o.. why will I come here and spend the entire night without looking forward to pressing boo*bie when you’re not night class, you know what.....infact my konji has cooled off, I’m no longer in the mood; sorry for being selfish and uncaring about my partners wants.”

“So now I’m being selfish for not giving you totori abi.”

“I did not say that.”

“What are you saying then, is it not bad enough that someone from my church comes visiting and sees you here, my busybody neighbors will let them know why my door is locked in this hot afternoon when I did not go out....bla bla bla."

From that moment I just locked up mentally, shaking my head in amusement cos I don’t think this babe realized I was raised in a home full of girls, I can drag argument to the extent she’ll be shocked into locking her room door herself, but I noticed the chatter from her neighbors outside has die down, I figured they must have halted all activities so their ears could be on high alert in order to pick up the juicy gossips resulting from our bickering so they can retell the other students that were unlucky not to be at home as they had been out and about their businesses like every other self respectful individuals.
I allowed Helen the last word so as to let peace reign and put an end to the argument.

Okay digressing topic for a bit bringing about the question; why men cheat? Why would a guy like me with a nice girlfriend seemed to look elsewhere for the exciting part I was missing in our relationship even though it comes with the risk that you might probably get anally raped or worse.

Like I disclosed earlier, if one can turn a blind eye at Karen's shortcomings, you might just see that she cares too in her own misguided ways.

I spent the first two days at Karen's crib as nervous as a mouse, one can not simply predict when her kinkiness might rear up again as I stare at every gift bag with suspicion. She on the other hand must have felt my discomfort cos she never mentioned the bag of goodies and must have gotten rid of it…or had it well concealed. She soon made me feel quite at home, as we made up for lost times.

I was beginning to settle in quite contently until she got a visit from her tus*h ajebutter colleagues from her school. And things began to go downhill from there, a likely fault partly shared by the both of us. Lets just say her zealot jealousy, dramatic flare for craziness and my inexplicable charisma and utter waywardness sums it all up.

Mehn dis piece kip getting dope by d day...bt u dis boy why wld u go abt flirting with her friends also.... Since u re telling d story ma guess is u made it out alive..

YINKS89:
Mehn dis piece kip getting dope by d day...bt u dis boy why wld u go abt flirting with her friends also.... Since u re telling d story ma guess is u made it out alive..

for a dude that went right back to the very place he almost took it in the behind............ You should know Bj lacks common sense by now