Are they lazy youths?

Jman06:
I thought as much!

Male siblings and their selfishness... Only a few care about their siblings. I'm sure it's because of one lady you want your siblings out! All these other excuses of needing your privacy and cleaning your house are just hogwash! I know that adults are supposed to cater for themselves and all that, but don't forget we are in Nigeria where the society works differently and wise siblings carry themselves along to achieve greatness together. That is how many great families achieved greatness! Through cooperative interaction (Those in sciences might understand that term better). What have you done to help your siblings get jobs or get good education or vocational training I'm sure you have done nothing in that regard! Don't worry! Very soon that lady would start showing you pepper and then you'll realize how important your siblings are.

truth they say is bitter. But yours is heavier. I cannot agree less on what you've just posted up there.

Oga why you no sugar-coat your words small na?

No easy way out bro

Hidemyface:
I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.

This OP is very wicked. How can you keep your siblings hungry. You deserve to be shot in a firing squad.

stuffs4me:



This OP is very wicked. How can you keep your siblings hungry. You deserve to be shot in a fireriring squared

Lol...are you for real

sholay2011:

Lol...are you for real

Lol... Habba.. The guy is too wicked. Keeping his siblings hungry is just plain evil.

I have siblings and I love them so much.


Besides, nobody knows tomorrow. God can bless some of those siblings and they'll become successful in life, is that how he wants to be remembered.

Ummmm

Jman06:
I thought as much!

Male siblings and their selfishness... Only a few care about their siblings. I'm sure it's because of one lady you want your siblings out! All these other excuses of needing your privacy and cleaning your house are just hogwash! I know that adults are supposed to cater for themselves and all that, but don't forget we are in Nigeria where the society works differently and wise siblings carry themselves along to achieve greatness together. That is how many great families achieved greatness! Through cooperative interaction (Those in sciences might understand that term better). What have you done to help your siblings get jobs or get good education or vocational training I'm sure you have done nothing in that regard! Don't worry! Very soon that lady would start showing you pepper and then you'll realize how important your siblings are.

Will you stop spewing nonsense if you don't have any logical and reasonable sentence to type.

Everybody is entitled to his or her privacy and some people yearn for it mostly.

Do you have any evidence that he is pushing his siblings away because of another woman? What if he had suggested that they should enroll for a vocational training or find some job but the rebuffed his idea and decided to be a subject to complacency?

If you are as intelligent as you think that you are you shouldn't hurry to a conclusion without gathering hard facts.

Just don't speak what you know nothing of.

Just tell them "Give me space I am not hurting your feeling"
if they feel bad
repeat and say. I. am. not. hurting your feelings
if they are still feeling bad tell them
I say I.am.not hurting your feelings

if they can't still get it
Tell them again I am not hurting your feelings
My space is my space give me my space

Hidemyface:

Thank you very much. I appreciate the response.

That is d best respd so far bro.. I have once did sometin lik dis in 2016. After being stayed wit one of my brother n a cousin for three yrs, I decided to arrange money n rented a clean a room self contain. I told dem plain dat u guys have to do d finishing by yourselves. Up till now dey really appreciate it. It equally help me either as I used to go there sometime when am off work to have gist wit dem. Now one dem even carry his friend from Villa come. Dey now paid d tenancy comfortably but dey still see me as d owner of d apartment.

It's a simple thing,get them an apartment, at first get food stuffs for them,and ensure they're working so that there will be a continuation they won't need to come for any thing from you that's all

ceeroh:


Ahah! Uncle, is this how you bring our issues to nairaland everyday? Hmmmmm, I guess we have to leave your house for you. Thanks for everything.

☣ ☠


∆ Try to be understanding at least oga! ∆


☣ ☠

Dnt for any reason waste all the good u'v done for yr siblings, because when you send them away in that manner, they wl neva come back to you...even family meetings will neva reconcile the family. At this point, it wl be you alone, & yr wife + her family. Be wise! All you need at this point is to assist dem to hav a source of income so they dnt all rely on you to resolve financial issues. Keep the unity!

LordKO:
The truth is that most people, especially on this forum, would definitely not understand your stance and longing either because of ignorance or pretense. To people under this category, it will take only acts of either or both servility and self-slavery (continual self-sacrifices) from you towards their interest (your siblings are their interest in this regard) to be considered human and good enough. Unfortunately, they're usually hypocrisy personifies, loyalty (your loyalty) - which is the best thing one can offer another - can never be enough to them. Kindly don't allow anyone to ruin you.

Create boundaries. Advancement in age always comes with manifestations of individuals ethical leanings. And, believe you me that two adults who don't share the same ethical leanings can never live together harmoniously - it doesn't matter whether the adults in this regard are siblings or has mutual affection for each other or used to be best of friends. At best they'll be living as frenemies which means superficiality will become the order of the day. Closeness doesn't automatically mean oneness just as independence doesn't automatically mean absence of thoughtfulness. Once more, I say create boundaries to prevent constant bickering or living together as frenemies. Yet, never forget to be both thoughtful and conscientious towards them at all times.

Small-minded people tend to use a scenario like yours to substantiate the erroneous postulation by them also, that Africans tend to more beneficent/accommodating towards their extended families than the Westerners do towards theirs. Balderdash. What's true is that while majority in the latter group are realnesss personifies the majority in the former group are superficiality personifies (suffering/bitter and smiling).

Small-minded people don't know that peace - inner peace - is the most treasured possession in the world. And that one who isn't in charge of his privacy, dominion and dignity can never possess it. Never maintain closeness with someone you don't share same ethical leanings with, because oneness can never be achieved in such association. Closeness without oneness breed toxicity.

Confirmed Psychology Professor. See english n typo. No mistakes. No pidgin. No waffi. Guy spice up NL small abeg. Lol. I read ur write up twice

Hidemyface:
I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.

If they are jobless advise them to go job hunting or better still see where there are job openings and possibly fix them by the time they begin to earn salary they could lose desire to keep staying with you as they will desire more freedom as you do now.Start ringing into to their ears that you're planning to settle down.

Jman06:
I thought as much!

Male siblings and their selfishness... Only a few care about their siblings. I'm sure it's because of one lady you want your siblings out! All these other excuses of needing your privacy and cleaning your house are just hogwash! I know that adults are supposed to cater for themselves and all that, but don't forget we are in Nigeria where the society works differently and wise siblings carry themselves along to achieve greatness together. That is how many great families achieved greatness! Through cooperative interaction (Those in sciences might understand that term better). What have you done to help your siblings get jobs or get good education or vocational training I'm sure you have done nothing in that regard! Don't worry! Very soon that lady would start showing you pepper and then you'll realize how important your siblings are.

haba shut up.didn't you read the part he said he sacrificed his savings for one of his siblings.is that selfish? A typical selfish sibling will not care if his younger ones are educated or NOT.infact I .don't have any problem being generous with my siblings but the moment I discover that they don't want to make any effort in bettering themselves and want to turn me to atm,I will be upfront with them about my feelings.anyone THAT is not happy shouldn't come to my house again.

What is wrong with a sibling saying I saw this and I decided to buy it home for all of us instead of always taking without having something to give in return however little it is

Op your siblings are parasitic.they only want to keep taking from you till you're empty and once they see you don't have again,they won't come to your house
They are also the type of siblings that will be harassing your wife because you decided to channel your resources on your immediate family

And if you happen to be wealthy and you die (God forbid) your wife won't see in laws but beasts.

FIRST thing YOU NEED TO do is lock your fridge with key if you have things inside and you don't want it taken or disorganized,if you have food in the kitchen,lock the kitchen door,they will get the message that it's time to leave and their inner potentials of independence will come out.the point is takers have no limit so givers should HAVE.if siblings know that YOU are a generous or kind person they tend to abuse it and the moment you don't have again,they'll begin to leave one by one.it's you that needs to set a boundary

Artistree:

Chief judge, I hail!

Chief Judge abi Chief Jumping into Conclusion....lol

kimbraa:
I don't think these your adult siblings are financially stable. Carry them along in your plans 'cause food is nothing. This one you're deliberately keeping your fridge empty is wrong if you have people in the house who may be hungry. About cleaning, you can all discuss that and strategise a plan on how cleaning should be done and by who daily. Lastly, encourage them to get something doing.

thank you jare, which kind human being this OP be self? Your own sibblings.. Kai!

Hidemyface:
I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.

I was in your shoes sometime ago. Truth be told, you have to talk to them,talk about how they disorganise your house and about your expenses but don't ever tell them the leave, thats the cross you have to carry as their brother.

Jman06:
I thought as much!

Male siblings and their selfishness... Only a few care about their siblings. I'm sure it's because of one lady you want your siblings out! All these other excuses of needing your privacy and cleaning your house are just hogwash! I know that adults are supposed to cater for themselves and all that, but don't forget we are in Nigeria where the society works differently and wise siblings carry themselves along to achieve greatness together. That is how many great families achieved greatness! Through cooperative interaction (Those in sciences might understand that term better). What have you done to help your siblings get jobs or get good education or vocational training I'm sure you have done nothing in that regard! Don't worry! Very soon that lady would start showing you pepper and then you'll realize how important your siblings are.

All U wrote is cruel
This is a young man who wants his small space
He is not asking for the world
Some of us can't function with people around us
We just want our tiny space and that's all what this man is asking and U being so hard on him

Nothing surprise me on this forum anymore.

Soon people will ask us how they can kill their parents, am even surprise you are trying to distance your self from your sibling because they ate your food.

Hidemyface:
I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.

set them up

I abandoned the apartment and everything in it for them.
I mean everything except my papers n gym. Just give handout to them once in a while n reduce the frequency as u go.
Right now, I've no house cos I'm on a project smwhr.
No ladies,
Both decisions helped me save.
But op, neva forgo paying up ur insurance bills for any matured Dick.
In 9ja, if ur parents born u first, u go hear am, u raise the younger once. If not, no accolades.

Jman06:

I'm sure it's because of one lady you want your siblings out!

I just hope you don't have anything against women.
If they didn't take him for a ride then this thread wouldn't be.

@op, give them the needed advice. If you have future action that will affect them in the future, give them a hint for them to be prepared for eventualities...

Most ppl won't understand what this man is passing through. In my own case, I have my elder brother staying with me for a long time now. The worst part of it is that he doesn't contribute to anything in the house. He lives "i don't care kind of life". No contribution to house rent, nepa bill and a lots more. And I don't even know how to tell him to find his own apartment this guy works and is over 33. I need advise ohhh

I am presently in such mess with a friend not even a sibling. All you need is patience pending the time you will get married.

Hidemyface:
I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.

You should ashamed of yourself

LordKO:
The truth is that most people, especially on this forum, would definitely not understand your stance and longing either because of ignorance or pretense. To people under this category, it will take only acts of either or both servility and self-slavery (continual self-sacrifices) from you towards their interest (your siblings are their interest in this regard) to be considered human and good enough. Unfortunately, they're usually hypocrisy personifies, loyalty (your loyalty) - which is the best thing one can offer another - can never be enough to them. Kindly don't allow anyone to ruin you.

Create boundaries. Advancement in age always comes with manifestations of individuals ethical leanings. And, believe you me that two adults who don't share the same ethical leanings can never live together harmoniously - it doesn't matter whether the adults in this regard are siblings or has mutual affection for each other or used to be best of friends. At best they'll be living as frenemies which means superficiality will become the order of the day. Closeness doesn't automatically mean oneness just as independence doesn't automatically mean absence of thoughtfulness. Once more, I say create boundaries to prevent constant bickering or living together as frenemies. Yet, never forget to be both thoughtful and conscientious towards them at all times.

Small-minded people tend to use a scenario like yours to substantiate the erroneous postulation by them also, that Africans tend to more beneficent/accommodating towards their extended families than the Westerners do towards theirs. Balderdash. What's true is that while majority in the latter group are realnesss personifies the majority in the former group are superficiality personifies (suffering/bitter and smiling).

Small-minded people don't know that peace - inner peace - is the most treasured possession in the world. And that one who isn't in charge of his privacy, dominion and dignity can never possess it. Never maintain closeness with someone you don't share same ethical leanings with, because oneness can never be achieved in such association. [s]Closeness without oneness breed toxicity. [/s]

Closeness without oneness breeds toxicity.

OrestesDante:





☣ ☠


∆ Try to be understanding at least oga! ∆


☣ ☠

Kindly stay out of family issues.

Hidemyface:
I like my space and quiet but recently my siblings have encroach. My expenses have increased as well cause I am family oriented though still single. Right now I am intentionally leaving my fridge naked cos they've disorganized my food plan and neatness is paramount for me so I clean my apartment regularly. How do I tell them I need my peace back cos they are adults already and don't want their continued dependency as it is now affecting my ability to care for my mother the way I want to.

I was once in between jobs and in lagos, and my then single junior brother though engaged invited me to know his place in portharcourt, bro wey get oil company job make me pay my airfare myself and while there na me, in short together we dey support kitchen affairs financially. I got there 28 Oct and expected to at least spend Christmas there. By first of December oga asked me "sis when are you leaving?" Note I had no where exactly to go, he said he was going offshore and didn't want to leave me behind. Well it hurt me, I counted my money and entered God is good to my base.
Well things began falling into place as I returned to base actually, and he supported me financially sometimes but my point is that he pushed me to my feet if not I may have still been his house guest till now in port Harcourt even after he is now married with two kids. I for be their nanny self as they both are traveling workers.

You should be thanking God you have such grt siblings who never complain than eating up your food and according to you, the other is stii serving and the nxt trying to stand feet. Bro you have grt ones out there. How I wish my eider ones gave me such togetherness I wouldnt be seeing myself as the only person my mother gave Birth to while they are there in Lagos leaving large with their so-called wives. Pls take this little advice from me. Never ever I open your mouth nd tell them they re finishing ur food cos tomorrow might be strange. You never no who wii help out.

ceeroh:


Kindly stay out of family issues.

☣ ☠


∆ You brought your family issue to a public forum and you're telling me to stay out.

Settle your problems in the closet. Give your brother a breathing space ∆


☣ ☠