Look at this mumu. The owner of any land is the owner of the property on that land. The woman bought the land, still brought most of the money used in building the house.

Egoistic cry babies.

phreakabitoo:


Una build house together you register am for your name?
No be thief be this?
Na your type SARS and EFCC dey find for street. . .
You are lucky it's not me. Na lawsuit straight.
You go prison, I divorce you and get a new queen shikena.

It could have been an omission on his part. No one is perfect. If he didn't bother, he clearly didn't think twice of HER CONTRIBUTION when he asked her to pack out.

You may be older than me but I know that men have asked their wives to pack out for something less than a word or two. They use as an instrument of control and blackmail. Besides, it is very condescending, arrogant and selfish to ask your wedded partner to pack up and leave like a fhucking guest. I really don't want to know what happened. I don't care! Do you know how fhucking long it took her to move in? No wonder men are scared to live in their wive's house. You can't bear to go through what you put women through because you own a fhucking house, do you? Hypocrite much? :-Disrespect or not, what should a woman do when her husband disrespect her? poison him or ask him to leave if she happens to own the house? Because I really don't understand what could justify asking your partner to pack out like a guest.

This is the same man that is now insisting on being the sole bearer. It sounds to me like a man who likes to control by fire or by force.

You think it is great to chase out a partner. I don't think it is. I don't care what could have happened. If you have a problem, you sort it out or you could make arrangements. You just don't ask your partner to pack out or throw their properties out!

olalat:
You really make good points here but I need to ask some questions.
Why do you think the man did not inquire or bother to inquire whose name is on title of the property before now?
Do you think the just ask her to pack out of the house based on one or two exchange of ideas words rather a prolonged argument and utterances which depicted some level of disrespect?
Do you a man who doesn't bother to have custody of their property can chase his wife out just like that?

JAMESOJAY:
Men should be careful about the type of women the get married to..her friends of her mother must have told her to do this

The man will always be the head of the house. Now they built this house together why should her name be in the documents?

If she wants her husband back and wants peace to rain she should change her name and replace it with her husbands name

See them awon the husband is the head of the house oniranu oshi....shior

For me the story is not complete. What caused the quarrel in the first place to warrant separation.

Based on the ops responses, I can deduce the following:

(1) Money was jointly made and agreement made on sharing.
(2) probably the husband used his share for example, to take care of his sick parents in agreement with the wife.
(3) And the couple agreed to use the wife's share to buy land. Both agreed, is that correct ops?
(4) Assuming it's ops sole decision to buy land with her own share...was there a communication to ur husband to such effect before/after the purchase. Was it presented to him as yours or his or joint?
(5) Now the land was jointly developed, am I right? This is where the story appears incomplete. Because if the husband is in the know that the land title is in the wife's name he would probably not have invested so much in it unless there is clarity of ownership. I could smell deception here.
(6) How much percentage contribution from both parties in actual building of the house? I just want to know if the ops did most of it?

(7) Lastly, there is element of unbelievable assumptions in the ops marraige due to lack of communication. This lead to mistrust.

LewsTherin:


Ok, got that.

Now like I said, normally, I am all for playing the fool in a relationship but your husband has set a bad precedent. First, he changed a joint agreement meant for your joint family in favour of his own family. Then he kicked you out of his house (as he thought it was). Then he insists you use your share of a joint decision, a decision that he reneged on, for his own benefit. Insisted on that twice ie before he knew it was in yiur name and after he knew it was in your name.

That is not good. Basically he has shown he is willing to abandon you and your kids if he “feels” like it. Sweetheart, no offense intended, but you don't have a good husband.

My advice to you and those in similar straits is
First, pray for your husband. Pray for God to change his person, to change his ways. If he claims to be a Christian, he sure as heck isn't showing Christ-like characters

Plan for your kids. Not to the exemption of your husband, but until he shows he can be different, plan to be able to live without him for your kids. I didn't say leave him. I said to be able to live without him. Different things.

Like you have been adviced, get an independent third party to mediate and see how that goes. I understand why you don't want to let your family know but it is dicey if they don't especially as he has involved his family from the beginning. I don't agree, but I understand. Maybe a compromise will be to tell your dad. Not your mum, not your sisters. Women by nature are very emotional and they can let their emotions overwhelm them. Tell your dad in confidence and ask him to keep it that way.

Finally, under no circumstances whatsoever should you add his name to that document. In mediations, the best you should do is to place the property in a trust for your children. Children! Not you, not him, not Mr and Mrs. Put it in the names of ALL your kids with a caveat that it cannot be sold by any one until all kids are above 18 years old.

Most of all, seek mediation and pray a lot for him.

My own advice.

this is the best advice I have read here. man with ego that's ready to leave his family because he didn't own the house? is that a good man?

best thing change it to the kids if he isn't having it. let him go to his family and stay with them since the support him. thank God you are a career woman.

For those advising you to divorce ur husband, note they unmarried/divorce (who lacks virtue), pray about it, apply wisdom and everything will be fine.

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

And you don't need to do thst . I am a man but I will not support wickedness. You can't eat your cake and have it. If he can he is humble enough to live by the consequences of his actions fine and good

nazablossom:
But he wanted to kick you and the kids out without thinking of the kids welfare. Change the name to his name and you will live to regret it for the rest of your life. [s]Why didn't he use his money to what you guys agreed on in the first place rather he used his for his parents.[/s] If you had used yours for your parents as well, would you be talking of property by now. This is your sweat and no man should take it away from you. My sister was thrown out of her matrimonial home,her children collected from her because of a side chick, the husband went ahead and married the side chick without looking back
. She had no money, nothing because she was busy being a dedicated housewife. Yeah! That's how mean men can be if they want to. So,think carefully before you make the mistake of your life.

Madam, please reread her story but this time take your time to read it.

Anextin:

You spoke well. Only that she said he sent her packing before learning that the house has her name on it. The key word is sending her out of a home they built together.

Something tells me that the OP is not really being truthful. I'm not sure the husband sent her packing but she just needs to add pepper and spice to get social media sympathy

Op I guess u guys should both agree and transfer the ownership to the name of ur child or children.This will neutralise the whole situation . Just don't change the ownership to his name,if he wants a transfer let him go. Soon he will realize his mistake and come begging .

CSTR1005:

Husband thought his wife was loyal.
wife was building her own thing while husband was supervising the project like a fool.

If she had used her children's names, it would still serve as security for her and her husband would not be that angry.

And to make it worse, she told him as a sort of insult.


The woman no wise at all.

Shut that thing called mouth

Why will he ask her to leave with the kids? Wicked men that's how God will be dealing with y'all one by one

She shouldn't have told him na so that she will be out & he will bring in another woman to come & enjoy what she laboured for

Why didn't he use his own part of the money to build a house now y'all are claiming she's this & that

Thank God for delivering you from the spirit of egoism.

iamkeyz:
.
.
You didn't read her post.
.
He used his money for his parents while the built the house.
.
Are you saying she does not deserve to build a house?
Or arw you saying she can not file for divorce and get a better king?
.
Men sef....
I just tire for all these ego...
.
I used to be like this before sha...
.
But not anymore...
A woman is a also a human being.
She has her life to live
She has the rights to be happy and respected.
She should be applauded to making right moves.
.
We don too take this people for granted.
.
Seriously that man is foolish.

Olabestonic001:


Did you read her addendum? She has perfectly used a woman's script for you and you bought it.

I have a feeling that the man didn't 'share' money with her as she's painting it. She said the man used it to treat his father (her father-in-law) of terminal illness and she agreed and most likely supported such. I even imagined her calling often to see that the man is in good health. I envisaged the man being so happy that his wife is like-other-one. How great to find out she's bought a land for the family with what remained? The man must be so happy he had find a 'reliable' wife!

But, she was obviously scheming to protect her own interest (and we can't fault her for that). I only imagined that the hubby never saw that at all! She probably CAN NEVER SAY she singlehandedly built that house. That man could have 'sunk' hundreds of thousands on 'their' property. But now, she showed the card! The man has trusted and toiled in vain.

Listen men, if a woman ever becomes worry of a man, it's because he's serving a purpose. This man still has a lot of purpose to serve and that why this woman still want this marriage. However, that man needs to search for wisdom. Who's lying to him that the next woman isn't worst off? He does not need a new woman but just managing this one properly. He needs to help her unwind her desire to be selfish and that can only be done by him being selfless. I'll be happy to rapport with him.

So a man that was ready to kick his wife out of the house in an instant.....
Is that one reliable.....
The woman knew the man she married thus acted in her own best interest....
She denied him that nonsense of sending ur wife packing anytime she offends u.....
They both played each other, only that the woman is smarter....
That woman should not change the name on the document ...
If the man dey vex, he should go n build his own house n move in his family.....
Not exploiting n claiming ownership over other people's sweat....
African men can be so annoying....
U want an educated hardworking intelligent woman as a wife....
Yet u want her to behave like an ignorant village girl when issues arise....
No wonder they struggle to adapt in civilised society....

Husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.

Mumu...be twisting Bible to suit your warped mentality.

dafemnet:
Wives be submissive to ur husbands and husbands love ur wives so they can both live in peace. A woman that can't be submissive to her husband should leave the husband and stay single afterall there are so many single women in their 40s,50s,60s etc

don4real18:

Something tells me that the OP is not really being truthful. I'm not sure the husband sent her packing but she just needs to add pepper and spice to get social media sympathy

OK ure not sure, wait there & be looking for sure or not

This OP myt just b d most stupidiest person to walk this earth. Would there b a house if u too had use ur own share of the money to do something else in the first place? U were wise to build d house in ur own name in the first place but u r about to get really stupid if u even u consider changing the name to Mr and Mrs.... Talk less of changing it to his name entirely. If he is so concerned about his ego bin bruise just a result of his stupidity and selfishness, he should stay outside ur house till he build his own with whatever name he wishes so he can now move u guys in and later throw u out if he wishes cox it would b his own home. I just cant imagine bin this wicked as a husband. He even wanted to throw his own kid out.

sholatech:
Change it to Mr & Mrs ABC. It is allowed. That way, it is now for both of you.

There is nothing like Mr & Mrs Aliu Ajayi in joint ownership o. Rather it is Mr Aliu Ajayi & Mrs Ngozi Ajayi. A word is enough for the wise o.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.



MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

The best thing is to change the name to that of your kid's name (mayb d 1st born or two of ur children).

wordbank:

Madam, please reread her story but this time take your time to read it.

Oga, I know what I read. He decided to use his share for the parents while they use hers for their own, it's still hers, she is the owner, the lady has parents you know.

EagleNest:
For me the story is not complete. What caused the quarrel in the first place to warrant separation.

Based on the ops responses, I can deduce the following:

(1) Money was jointly made and agreement made on sharing.
(2) probably the husband used his share for example, to take care of his sick parents in agreement with the wife.
(3) And the couple agreed to use the wife's share to buy land. Both agreed, is that correct ops?
(4) Assuming it's ops sole decision to buy land with her own share...was there a communication to ur husband to such effect before/after the purchase. Was it presented to him as yours or his or joint?
(5) Now the land was jointly developed, am I right? This is where the story appears incomplete. Because if the husband is in the know that the land title is in the wife's name he would probably not have invested so much in it unless there is clarity of ownership. I could smell deception here.
(6) How much percentage contribution from both parties in actual building of the house? I just want to know if the ops did most of it?

(7) Lastly, there is element of unbelievable assumptions in the ops marraige due to lack of communication. This lead to mistrust.

The woman is full of deceit and she know it. Imagine how she swiftly suggested a change in the document, what a pet means. LOL

Orgym:


You have only heard one side of the story and start vomiting all that you never swallowed. Don't use you predicament to judge this guy. Do you think it is possible for a woman to build house without the financial contribution of her husband! I don't think so. Women will always look for a point of negotiation when issue arise in the family.
I believe this man felt very bad that her wife could name a document after her name even when he is the head of the family. He moved out of the house because his wife betrayed his trust and not because of the house issue in particular.
What belong to a man also belong to a woman in a Family. All properties are supposed to me named after the name of the couple. The ideal name should be Mr and Mrs ABCD. Its an issue that can be resolve within the family. Humble yourself before your husband and stop playing to be smart.

How old are U?

EagleNest:
For me the story is not complete. What caused the quarrel in the first place to warrant separation.

Based on the ops responses, I can deduce the following:

(1) Money was jointly made and agreement made on sharing.
(2) probably the husband used his share for example, to take care of his sick parents in agreement with the wife.
(3) And the couple agreed to use the wife's share to buy land. Both agreed, is that correct ops?
(4) Assuming it's ops sole decision to buy land with her own share...was there a communication to ur husband to such effect before/after the purchase. Was it presented to him as yours or his or joint?
(5) Now the land was jointly developed, am I right? This is where the story appears incomplete. Because if the husband is in the know that the land title is in the wife's name he would probably not have invested so much in it unless there is clarity of ownership. I could smell deception here.
(6) How much percentage contribution from both parties in actual building of the house? I just want to know if the ops did most of it?

(7) Lastly, there is element of unbelievable assumptions in the ops marraige due to lack of communication. This lead to mistrust.

You are just trying to form your own story, what she wrote here is very very clear and straight forward but your crooked mind will not allow you see it that way. You prefer to think his father was sick what if it is true the man used his share to build for his father thinking he will use Hus wife's to build for himself?. Stop putting women in shackles its a sign of weakness.

Where is your sense? So if you buy land do you buy it in your name or in the family name? Where do people with such mentality spring up from?

sacramento1212:


That’s the very 1st mistake the woman made. She secured the land in her name and this same house according to her was jointly built by both parties. The man knowing the property was in her name felt betrayed and she, the woman further told the man this that it’s her property.

dingbang:
How did you manage to put your name as the owner or the house without letting him know? You are a snitch

did you read this post before writing?

CrazeMan69:


People like you are the reason pastors are buying private jets. How will you open your stink hole to say God broke her home?

Pls read with understanding, I did not say God broke her home.
CrazeMan, what is wrong in asking her to thank her God that she is not homeless & telling her to pray to God to take over the situation?
I suppose I should have told her to fall at his feet and beg for forgiveness. Mscheeeeew.

So men don't talk and always remind their wives that it's their house and they should move out?
Nigerian men with low IQ.

nams77:
Heseessll. Quite a dicey situation. I wouldn't stay in a house built by a woman but I must say your husband is a chauvinist and has no sense of goodness in him.
I see two options. You can be magnanimous and do a joint ownership or rent another flat and Put up yours for rent. That's is if what you are saying is true.
If he doesn't pick up any of these options then he is a devil.
If I were him, I would be crossed finding out at that moment that I was not part of the ownership ( you stuck to your own plan, nothing wrong with that, but he should be aware from the onset)
I would request we move out to a rented apartment ( can't live in a woman's house cos I know how they talk,)
Or I will ask for a joint ownership With an agreement to refund a portion of the cost of building to you on instalments.
Just pray to God for solution

madridguy:
You both should settle this amicably but don't change the properties document to his name otherwise you will cry over it.

My dear, don't change any name o, resolve the issue but let your name remain on documents. Am speaking from experience o

nazablossom:
Oga, I know what I read. He decided to use his share for the parents while they use hers for their own, it's still hers, she is the owner, the lady has parents you know.

Again, you did not adhere to read this story probably where she said they agreed to her husband using his share for his family. She agreed to that.
They also agreed to buy LAND with her share, but the house is built by them not her alone. So why have all documents in her name without consulting her husband?

sholatech:
Change it to Mr & Mrs ABC. It is allowed. That way, it is now for both of you.

There is nothing like Mr. &Mrs. in legal documents.

Amberon11:
So men don't talk and always remind their wives that it's their house and they should move out?
Nigerian men with low IQ.

That's your own take. I'm not men, I'm me.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

In the name of God, please don't change the name o.
You can keep pleading to save your marriage .

The best advice I can give you is, go and forge a fake oluwole document in his name to restore peace

But don't transfer the original in his name o

true

chris31:

Sense fall on u
Ur Pastor is not God & faces his own home problem but won't tell u
Most pastors are not in control of their home u people should follow with sense
Ur parents are the God u see, honor them so that ur days will be long
Tell ur parents what ur passing through & the advice they give u is the best not a pastor who have his own interest at hand