raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

you wanna be a man? Resign from the job her step Dad got you and walk away into a new life of your very own where you make your own decisions for your very own self. Chikena

raphretle:


I have heard you.. thanks
but at the mention of this KARMA of a thing makes me feel somehow

That Karma for You, You Reap what you sow.. if a girl love me the way your girl love you what else i want in this life.. even God Love Us and Want Us To Love Him Return... If the girl family behave somehow to you in future it must be you behave anyhow to their daughter in the first place...
I hope you get my points..
Oya Go Propose To her tomorrow morning ...

luvyaself95:
That Karma for You, You Reap what you sow.. if a girl love me the way your girl love you what else i want in this life.. even God Love Us and Want Us To Love Him Return... If the girl family behave somehow to you in future it must be you behave anyhow to their daughter in the first place...
I hope you get my points..
Oya Go Propose To her tomorrow morning ...

Like... I get you loud and clear...
But propose tomorrow morning.

THANKS MAN

IntrovertedK:
you wanna be a man? Resign from the job her step Dad got you and walk away into a new life of your very own where you make your own decisions for your very own self. Chikena

Thanks so much...

raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

See the length you want to go to end it with this lady; setting her up. Your mind is deep. You clearly dated the lady for the convenience and benefits that came with the relationship. Now you feel you can do better and should try your luck somewhere. I won't go telling you shit about karma cos i don't believe in it but you'll definitely regret it if you leave this girl cos i can't imagine how you dated someone for 5 years and only just found out that the love isn't there.

Be man (can you be called that sef?) enough and end it with the poor girl as gently as you can cos she'll be better off without an ungrateful, heartless soul like you. Don't even try for a marriage cos you'll end up hating her knowing you forced your useless self into a marriage with her.

Just break it off asap and hopefully she'll heal quickly and spend the rest of her life thanking God for saving her from a life of doom with someone as cold and calculated like you.

Pls if u are in lagos looking for a mathematics specialist as a home-tutor for Your ward( Jss-ss3 including Jambites); contact the coordinator on 08139412597 we can make the desired turn around in The academic performance of your child

raphretle:

Thanks so much...

cold and calculated is one way to describe you. but guy stop feeling fly. mctewww. just call the the lady talk to her let her know what you're going through n if she agree to quit it good, if you guys can talk it through on how to move forward and make adjustment on loving n living together, good. you've no legal and moral right to leave her. you sold yourself into the arrangement when accepted goodies for five years without having the moral justification or gut to say no then.
op the major part of the problem now is that you're having a mental block and almost nothing we say can get you to love her easily. work on that.

Try and dump her and what will happen. Ingrate!

You see ur self nah ppl like una dey turn good girl to strong mind come begin tag all men are scum or wicked. Is only unfortunate that she loved an ingrate like u whilst better men wud have been at her call all along but she decide to stay with you. So, why didn't u quit all along? Cos u have a selfish plan all along.
Bros my advise to you is very simple guy change cos be bad person* no needset her up!!!

OP take am. Its fresh and uncooked

Actuarydeji:
You're an ingrate! When you're showing wrong feelings for their daughter, they thought their daughter has seen a responsible guy and that's why they invested on you. Men usually depicts their real character once they have good source of income. Malu like you, you better marry her now before Sango fire you

Some men are just wicked, haba! for how many years. That is why some ladies do not want to help some lazy ass again. I'm happy for the lady that the mumu is saying this now, broken relationship is better than broken marriage

raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

Mr Oga, u see why some families no dey help church rat like u?
Cos u r double crossers n ingrates...
Leave her n see how shakushaku ur life will b within two years. After u don see d babe in n out finish.. Why you no tell d uncle say u no love her when he dey run around for u to get a job??
If d girl family no swear for u.... Ur village people will surely come for u

u re selfish. why did u go into a relationship with her when u never loved her? I guess it's been ur nature to use relationships with pple for selfish interest. probably u saw she was from an OK family and u tagged along so u could benefit from her and family. u had it all figured out from the onset. there re so many guys like that. please break up with her so u do not treat a badly in marriage;she deserves better .

optm:
u re selfish. why did u go into a relationship with her when u never loved her? I guess it's been ur nature to use relationships with pple for selfish interest. probably u saw she was from an OK family and u tagged along so u could benefit from her and family. u had it all figured out from the onset. there re so many guys like that. please break up with her so u do not treat a badly in marriage;she deserves better .

it's because of things like this that turn women to slayqueen and the golddiggers you all hate. If i am the babe,i will cause him to be impotent and his life to be worse than shakushaku. Arrant nonsense. Betraying your benefactor is the highest sin

funmisticqueen:
it's because of things like this that turn women to slayqueen and the golddiggers you all hate. If i am the babe,i will cause him to be impotent and his life to be worse than shakushaku. Arrant nonsense. Betraying your benefactor is the highest sin

lolz impotent kwa? don't mind d OP. these days good girls re hard to come by ; he's fortunate to hv one and he doesn't realize he's one lucky dude. I hope if he break's up with d girl, she realises it was best she never got to marry some1 like d OP and may she find someone that would appreciate her kind nature.

Fake DNA genotype test if you haven't done one before. Propose to her and then followed by the test.

Set yourself up, get raped in her presence when she next she visit......... Boom, you are HIV positive ( fake test too).

Or better still some stupid family tradition concerning marriage, just make something up. Breaking up in Nigeria is so easy. You are now too beautiful, I'm not doing again

since u don't love her, I won't advice u marry her out of pity.
plz tell her da truth, break up with her & wait for God's punishment (cos God must certainly punish u)

After five years, you just realize you don't love her,you need help,don't know what to say,go on and see,they no dey tell man the thing wet go tell am go tell am.

You Are An Ingrate, Such A Wicked Fellow Dump Her And See How Your Life Will Be

U are comfortable now and now u know u don't luv her. Trust me I will put a gun on your head and blow ur brains off. You don't deserve to breath.

raphretle:
I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you like,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother...

My dear marriage is a life time journey
too long for you to marry anyone out of pity.

The best thing is to breakup with her and deal with the consequences like a man
personally I understand you. don't let nairalanders make you feel guilty

No man wants to owe any woman anything. it emasculates him. Especially when he is a glorified houseboy like you have become.



Its even easier for women to do this than men

too much expectations destroys love. Love thrives on fantasy. keep the fire of fantasy blowing and the person will do anything for you. Bring them back to reality and they will be bored.


but my question is when you were sexing her all through five years were you in love with her or what? why wait this long to pull out?

Its not fair on the girl but I'll advice you get another job or business and let her move to a man who loves her.

raphemmanuel:
Op raphretle, there is a big sense from what Generalnomercy told u.
If you break up with that girl u MIGHT not end well. ( I am not wishing bad please).
The mother, uncle that have invested on u and the girl won't be happy with u, and the may go extra miles to make sure they deal with u.

I wanna tell you a true story of what happened in my own area.
A guy fell in love with a girl, the girl so much love the guy that she invested on the guy to the extent that the guy opened a very popular school in my area and was driving a nice car.
But something happen, this girl was hoping to get married to this guy which lead her to keep investing on the guy so the both of them can live large.

This guy secretly engaged another girl in the absence of the girl that invested on him cos the girl travelled. The wedding card was out, everyone waiting on the day the guy will tie the knot.

This information get to the girl that have invested on this guy.
The next thing that we heard was the guy have been assassinated.
Though the assassins wasn't caught, but from the way the news was flying in my area, it was the girl that planned it.

That's karma for you.

But raphretle:
How will you date someone for good 5 years, u just wake up one morning and start saying u don't love the girl for no reasonable reason ?

Abey u don see another girl wey fine pass her.
OP I must tell you this: You are trying to light up a fire that may burn you, no put-on fire wey u no fit quench because now the uncle and mother are seriously involved.

If controlling you is ur major reason for not getting married to her, u can relocate to a far distance where the uncle and mother can't easily reach you if u marry the girl.

THIS IS MY PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU

op listen / follow dis guy advice

i no go talk much..

Eagba:
cold and calculated is one way to describe you. but guy stop feeling fly. mctewww. just call the the lady talk to her let her know what you're going through n if she agree to quit it good, if you guys can talk it through on how to move forward and make adjustment on loving n living together, good. you've no legal and moral right to leave her. you sold yourself into the arrangement when accepted goodies for five years without having the moral justification or gut to say no then.
op the major part of the problem now is that you're having a mental block and almost nothing we say can get you to love her easily. work on that.

there is obviously another woman or other women in the picture

Resign from the job they got you, then you can now tell her you dont want her anymore.
If not, you must marry her & if you dont, you will regret that decision & dont come back here to lament to us about "Oh Had I known".

Nonsense Want to eat your cake & still have it, you are one of the reasons some people dont like to help

generationz:


My dear marriage is a life time journey
too long for you to marry anyone out of pity.

The best thing is to breakup with her and deal with the consequences like a man
personally I understand you. don't let nairalanders make you feel guilty

No man wants to owe any woman anything. it emasculates him. Especially when he is a glorified houseboy like you have become.



Its even easier for women to do this than men

too much expectations destroys love. Love thrives on fantasy. keep the fire of fantasy blowing and the person will do anything for you. Bring them back to reality and they will be bored.


but my question is when you were sexing her all through five years were you in love with her or what? why wait this long to pull out?

Its not fair on the girl but I'll advice you get another job or business and let her move to a man who loves her.

Hmmmm.... Thanks so much that u understand me... I love this term you used : Glorified houseboy, that's exactly what is happening, they don't care about my own personal activities if they need my attention they expect me to just appear...
Not that I didn't love her, I loved her so much but I started feeling as if she is my sibling..cuz of how close I am to the family... It was not a planned something, I see her as a sister now

phintohlar:
And which baga dare call u wicked? No marry woman out of pity oo, the ones wey Marry out of love sef never enjoy am finish na out of pity con remain. Why did u go into a relationship with the lady gan sef in the 1st place if no be say something dey worry u.

i jst love this comment

raphretle:

Hmmmm.... Thanks so much that u understand me... I love this term you used : Glorified houseboy, that's exactly what is happening, they don't care about my own personal activities if they need my attention they expect me to just appear...
Not that I didn't love her, I loved her so much but I started feeling as if she is my sibling..cuz of how close I am to the family... It was not a planned something, I see her as a sister now

I see . they treat u as a son and in ur eyes, u re a houseboy? how come u neva saw ursef as a housboy bfr dey set u up to d level u re now? is your relationship with her sexual ?

badadvice:
Bro i'll advise you break your sim and just relocate to another city or if possible, country.
You cant comman destroy your future by marrying a lady out of pity and guilt.
You dont owe her "marriage".
All the things she and her family did, they did willingly and not under compulsion.

This guy would not have a future if his girlfriend’s family didn’t helped him a lot. It’s a tricky situation- the guy once lived the girl, but now he is in money with a good job, he now has other tastes!!

This is the reason the rich don’t want to help the poor because they always turn out as ingrates!

My brother, I advice you to marry this lady.

You will not regret marrying this lady.

What's your definition of love? Please review and analyse your of terms.

Some years ago, I was in the same situation. I was dating a lady for 6years and her family has impacted in many ways. I eventually married her and we are happy. 9years on in the marriage, no regrets.

My brother, it is apparent God sent this lady to you. There are your Angels, if you miss it. You will definitely regret it 100%.

One of my uncle, who has trained has as a minister and we all know he has a call of God on him. Rejected an offer to be a Pastor in one of the churches established by his In-law when he was 35years old. He is 60years now, still begging to feed his family. The church now has branches in Nigeria and over 30 countries.

My brother, It is simply PRIDE. Nobody will control you.
Go ahead and marry her. They are your helpers.

A word is enough for the wise.

Thank you.

Opto1:
Fake DNA genotype test if you haven't done one before. Propose to her and then followed by the test.

Set yourself up, get raped in her presence when she next she visit......... Boom, you are HIV positive ( fake test too).

Or better still some stupid family tradition concerning marriage, just make something up. Breaking up in Nigeria is so easy. You are now too beautiful, I'm not doing again

Thought of such things but she is a stubborn type n wontvgive a damn

[quote author=raphretle post=76982712]I have dated this lady for 5 years now, we are still dating.. we met during our undergraduate days, she has been a good person to me, very kind and supportive..
Here is the problem : All her family members know me.. Infact am like a son to them cause they do call on me for errands that need quick response, Infact her uncles(her dad is late n her mum got married) trust me wt money than her brothers ..Cuz she stays with her uncle..

After my NYSC, her uncle helped me secure a job with the highest academic Institution in Nigeria (NIPSS) ... Now they expect me to marry their daughter but to be frank I don't love the lady... I don't know how to just make her go away. I just want to avoid been controlled by her family, ... I tried to set her up so I could have something to hold on for the breakup to avoid her family's anger and any form of guilt.. but I end up pitying her and forgive her instead... I know they tried for me,i owe them alot..But how to get rid of her in an honorable way is what I don't know.....
You can call it wickedness if you li


ke,but just give me the advice I need..
Ladies and Gentlemen Help a brother... [
/quote]

Why would you still love her
Kpekus you don nakam for 5years
Boobs you don suck am for 5years
The family influence has elevated to where you are.
All of a sudden you no longer loves her
Brother there is one thing called CARMA when it comes do not blame village people.

pcguru1:


Eya poor girl. The next guy will now bear the brunt of another man's cowardice.

True ooo
I pray I don't fall into this kind of thing someday