BadRadio:
shut the fvck up.

NuissancePolice:


It costs around 6 to 10k or so depending on quality. Some wear out easily so you might want to invest in high quality ones. paroh's is cheaper. It goes for around 5 to 6k or so.

horpeyemmi66:

Oh...damn

If it moans, thrust it's pelvis into mine, has that soft warm feeling and self lubricates, I'd definitely get one.

LieDetector:
For those thinking about what Fleshlight means, here's a picture of Fleshlight

NuissancePolice:


paroh is a guy oh. I bought fleshlight from him about 2 months ago for one of my shy friends

I think he uses the f-moniker to attract patronage.

NuissancePolice:
Guys, I can bet my two balls that if you try this, you will never bother yourself with women. I shared this secret with my friend and he thought I was joking until he tried it. This shit is just marginally different from real sex and totally worth it. You will not realise how useless women are until you try it. Once you do, you will realise that you have been wasting 5k or more on oloshos and girlfriends.

The danger with this method is that if not properly controlled, it might easily degenerate to addiction...which if you ask me, is better than sex addiction because the latter will drain you financially.

It is not a new method per se, it is just an augmentation of the already existing intimacy gadgets available.

Most people see me as a very disciplined person, one who does not womanise. Little do they know that I've got my closet secret. It pains alot of girls in my area that I don't even acknowledge their presence whenever I move out. Truth is I might not be the most handsome dude in my street but I am good looking and well to do so it hurts them that I give zero fvcks about them. Alot of confusing rumours and gossips about me have even been created in an attempt to explain what appears to be mysterious about me.

Without further ado, here's the secret to enjoying pleasure that is approximately 99.9% the intensity of real sex. The only thing missing is the mental turn on that comes from the weight of the woman on you or the inelastic collisiion of the bodies.

Steps to simulated sex as prescribed by nuissance police is as follows.

1. Buy fleshlight, nivea lotion, pears baby oil and 1gb or 2gb data.

2. With the fleshlight in vertical postion, pour like 5 to 10 bean-size drops of pears baby oil around the circumference of the fleshlight's anterior. Allow gravity to pull it down or you could open the hole and put the drops. For best results, open the hole and smear like 3 or 4 drops directly to the bottom of the hole then smear another 3 or four drops around the edges of the hole.

3. Smear like 2 or 3 drops of nivea lotion. Similar to 2 above, open the hole and smear 1 or 2 drops direcly at the bottom and another 1 or 2 around the hole.

4. Finish with another 2 or 3 drops of pears baby oil around the fleshlight's aperture.

5. Allow to settle in a vertical position, during which you look for a good network area and log in to any porn site. Xvideos, xnxx etc.

5. Download as much porn as your data can afford and lock the porn vids in a safelock app so that hypocrites will not mock you if they find porn on your fone by accident.

6. My best porn in decreasing order are italian>ghanian>other african countries>ebony ladies. Be creative and use keywords like ass, huge etc.

7. Stroke your deek with your already prepared fleshlight while watching your favorite porn and feel the pleasure of s*x. I can swear that you won't last more than 4 mins before you cum. Make sure there is no one around else you might moan very loudly in ecstasy when you cum...especially if you are a jjc.

I know they will soon come and bash me. They will call me names and try to guilt trip me by saying all sort of religious things. The "one girl must have showed him pepper crew" will also come.

kecee99:
PMB(PORNOGRAPHY MASTURBATION ORGASM) IS DANGEROUS TO THE BRAIN

Mazigabriel:
Send me a picture of the fleslight, I have not seen it yet.

Mile18:




am not gonna sound like a hypocrite, cos I used to do that 2yrs ago, menh that thing no good.

NuissancePolice:


The pix is everywhere on the thread na or are u just lazy

Jeweltz:
Confused people. How does this equate Nice sex and touching and sucking nice breast. This site sef

ElasticStone:
Mayday! Mayday! Guys...
Abort!The sweetness of this thing will eventually make you not to like real women.

Maybe its me sha...but i can testify to the sweetness of this thing especially when watching one ebony dickriding video. I did not use nivea and pears though but i softened my vasline a little bit by putting container in warm water.

Chaiiii

Zaheertyler:
I'll try my best not to be a hypocrite
But bro with world war 3 in view
You should be thinking of how to protect your self

Erediauwa:
One of the best advice for the week.....

-FREE from any form of STD's

-No T&C before and after ejaculating

-No COZA Krest served

-No wahala.

Oluwahelpme:
Hahaha. I feel like doing what u just said to u right now.

LieDetector:
did you use the Fleshlight or you used your hand

NuissancePolice:


You are a mumu aswear. The girl will charge you like 20k. Receive sense once and for all

Oluwahelpme:
Do u know her? have u met her before?

BadRadio:
ur days are numbered and may all ur unborn kids be patronizers and hoarders of fleshlight and erotic puppets. IJN

kecee99:
PMB(PORNOGRAPHY MASTURBATION ORGASM) IS DANGEROUS TO THE BRAIN

Jeweltz:
Confused people. How does this equate Nice sex and touching and sucking nice breast. This site sef

Oluwahelpme:
Exactly sweetheart. imagine the softens of pussy, buttock and breast. I'm very sorry for all these gays.

TheSourcerer:
what's flashlight though

themaestro08:




I love how you give guys teeth-crushing blows.

themaestro08:


They are not gays you fool. People masturbate for various reasons: inability to find a GF, scared of STDS, brokenness, health issues, life challenges and so on.

Think before you say trash.

(No malice intended) just can't ignore your idiocy.