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My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by heendrix(m): 11:00pm On Jun 23, 2020
Officialgarri:
Even our Nairaland clergy is mute, who am I to talk? cheesy

Lmao grin grin
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by MondayOsunbor(m): 11:01pm On Jun 23, 2020
have you hear of divorce before
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Martinez39s(m): 11:03pm On Jun 23, 2020
Bola146:
This is serious, you need to calm down. I always say this, it's better to marry a bad wife than to get married to a bad in law sad Just need a good lawyer and also be very prayerful
Why don't you say it's better not to get married at all than get married to a bad spouse? Oh, your feminine duplicitousness won't take marriage off the table for obvious reasons.

7 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by libertyfather(m): 11:03pm On Jun 23, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused



Lucky you it's not too late, I had wish it happens to me like this earlier....I'm stuck and can't get out again

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by jimblaze(m): 11:05pm On Jun 23, 2020
Righteousness89:
Make a police Report!
Also inform Family elders...

After that Calm down and use this time to seek GOD'S Face on your family....

Something is wrong somewhere!

I Believe the Greatest solution is the one that GOD gives..

Use this period to knock on Heaven gate for your Family Matters..

Personal Times as these produce results!

I Pray For you that GOD Almighty have Mercy on your Home and restore the Love and Joy that in your Home in JESUS Name.... Amen


If u are not an angel, then u have the Spirit of God working mightily in you!!!

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Nobody: 11:06pm On Jun 23, 2020
I'm reading a book "The MGTOW Solution by Dirk Lerxst" and Im actually learning things that I have overlooked about women.

grin grin

4 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by morris477(m): 11:06pm On Jun 23, 2020
ogawisdom:


First mistake never never marry a girl raised by a single mother. She saw what her mother went through bc of men and u will pay for it. She was raised to hate men. Her mother hates men bc of her failed relationship with them.

Second mistake how can you apologize when u are not guilty. I kw u are guilty Sha.

Since u are guilty and have apologize then u have to go and report to whoever gave her hand in marriage to you may be he can help resolve the matter.

No need for police, your children are with their mother and they are safe. No crime that needs police involvement except u want to waste your money.

Always avoid single mothers and their children when u want a serious relationship

Always avoid single mother. Does it mean single mothers misbehave this way

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by gbagyiza: 11:06pm On Jun 23, 2020
Romangalactic:

Shattap, be quiet.

OP, she is acting out whatever negativity her mom might have filled her head with, especially regarding men / husbands, hence the unnecessary suspicions. Like mother like daughter.
Your wife is on her way to becoming a single mom like her mother, you can assist her

You said the bitter truth. Her mom is the architect of what they r passing through. Please, parents should learn to keep distance from the family affairs of their children. Let them learn to live n settle their issues themselves, only intervene when you r contacted or when the situation warrant your attention. For the wife to dedicate 60% of her monthly salary on d mother, n the mother relocated to stay with them shows that the mother is the one manipulating the daughter against her husband. This is a serious issue on ground until the mother lives that family alone, else they will continue in this direction. I pray that God should visit that family n restore it back.

3 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by samguru(m): 11:08pm On Jun 23, 2020
give her break,dont go and look for her.

your children are safe

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by morris477(m): 11:08pm On Jun 23, 2020
Mr man you are not telling us the truth. No smoke without fire
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by mayorkent(m): 11:08pm On Jun 23, 2020
Marriage be sounding scarier as the days goes by.
undecided
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by edoairways: 11:09pm On Jun 23, 2020
Righteousness89:
Make a police Report!
Also inform Family elders...

After that Calm down and use this time to seek GOD'S Face on your family....

Something is wrong somewhere!

I Believe the Greatest solution is the one that GOD gives..

Use this period to knock on Heaven gate for your Family Matters..

Personal Times as these produce results!

I Pray For you that GOD Almighty have Mercy on your Home and restore the Love and Joy that in your Home in JESUS Name.... Amen

Are you sure this man wasn't flirting? This is own side of the story,we haven't heard from his wife.

2 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by edoairways: 11:09pm On Jun 23, 2020
morris477:
Mr man you are not telling us the truth. No smoke without fire
Exactly!

2 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by don4real18(m): 11:10pm On Jun 23, 2020
Possibly, like mother like daughter. She also wants to be a single mother. Inform her family members
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by ghettochild(m): 11:11pm On Jun 23, 2020
Your wife's mum Wan use spirit of single motherhood to mk her daughter like her..
Baba if u cheat sef no b ur fault I hate nonsense.. Don't worry go n get cold drink for fridge... N enjoy ur freedom.. When d money ur wife spends on the kids finish.. She will call u for money then tell her to bring ur kids home... But u shd make a report sha.. Even tho police no dey like this kain family matter wey no go give dem money
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Buffalo2(m): 11:12pm On Jun 23, 2020
clintz:
My friend worry not, just get a chilled bottle of drink and relax yourself. All will be well again
Simple
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Chidonc(m): 11:13pm On Jun 23, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.


After reading this part. I will tell you without mincing words, you are weak.
I don't support cheating in marriage but if my wife suspect am dating a lady and goes ahead to fight her, I will throw you out. Secondly, my boss do say, think wisely before marrying the daughter of a divorced woman. If she was once married and her husband died no problem but divorced, think wisely.
I understand how you feel. But you need to set boundaries from now on. If you can't get sex at home, tell her to go. Her mother shouldn't be welcome in your house. She threaten to sue you, for what exactly, don't give in to fear. If your wife can't contribute to family expenses once the issue is resolved, then cut down the expenses to suit you.
Undue respect to certain family members that makes them to control you should be cut off. Never be scared to air your mind no matter whose ox get gored.
You want to take charge of this situation, don't establish communication with her, don't call to beg, let her be, once expenses starts pilling up or school resumes, she will come back herself. No body should cajole you to initiate peace. Stand your ground.

14 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Chirowman(m): 11:13pm On Jun 23, 2020
how do i settle this kind of case, well talk or reason with your wife .
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by karika2018: 11:14pm On Jun 23, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused



You are not a man and you did not run your home well....love does not exist and as a man you make decisions of how your family would be run and encourage the woman to agree with you. If she fails to agree with you then she has no choice. Why would you allow your wifes mother to come and leave with you, a big mistake. Never send a woman to school until after she is done giving birth to your children if she has not completed her education before the marriage...it does not end well.

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Nobody: 11:14pm On Jun 23, 2020
BEST ADVICE RIGHT THERE. RADIO SILENCE. IF SHE SHOWS BACK, DO A DNA AND IF THE KIDS ARE YOURS, DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO RUN YOUR HOME AND YOUR LIFE AND OUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. IF SHE HAS A PROBLEM, SHE CAN LEAVE. JUST ENSURE THAT YOU DIRECTLY PAY FOR EVERYTHING YOUR KIDS NEED. AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE.


Hedonisco:
Another mumu bites the dust.

Your problems are only just beginning to warm up. You never see anything.

A man that can't stamp his feet from DAY 1, and ensure that the woman he does a huge favour by marrying is submissive, tolerant, and patient and loving like a real wife should, from DAY 1, is bound to suffer this kind of fate in marriage. Life out there (with the daily hustle) is hard enough. A man who knows what he is doing cannot and should never condone having to struggle with a useless jezebel at home in the name of marriage. Home is supposed to be a drama-free sanctuary of peace, quiet and relaxation. No more, no less.

Since you have made the mistake already, the only thing left is to take drastic, corrective actions.

Don't allow that bitch you call a 'wife', and the witch she calls a mother back into your house and into your life. There's nothing to discuss. There's no need for peace talks.

I know you love 'your' children (do DNA first to be sure), but be willing to forfeit them to that bitch. Swallow a heartless pill and wash your hands off those kids and their mother. Demonstrate that you don't send them and don't want to see them, ever. Mean it.

If she chooses to sue you to court for whatever or file for divorce. Take the lead and the initiative. Go rogue . Get a lawyer to take preemptive action. Look for a judge to bribe to turn the case on its head, annul the gaddem marriage, and ultimately (if you confirm that the kids are actually yours), revert paternity to you.

There is no forgiveness or settlement with these kinds of damaged women. They are thoroughly and irreparably damaged. As the mumu that you currently are and previously were, you have made the mistake of marrying a damaged product that can't be repaired. But you're under no obligation to keep managing that damaged product for the rest of your life. Discard it, and start anew.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

2 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by davesd: 11:15pm On Jun 23, 2020
The devil came to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10. Commit your family in Gods hands and wait patiently on Him through Prayers. Your enemy (the devil) is at work. It will be over in jesus name my brother.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by karika2018: 11:16pm On Jun 23, 2020
Stephenomozzy:
Don't go to a police station yet,

I believe your wife has family, and those families can be traced to a physical address, why not reach out to all those people in her family and let them help you trace where ahe might likely be. It's not like she's traveled out of your state.

Involving the police would not spell well for either one of you.

When she comes back home, talk to her, let her know you love her (make her feel loved the way she appreciates - love language), appeal to her to talk to you IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU DID WRONG AT ANY TIME THAT YOU DIDN'T PROPERLY APOLOGIZE FOR THAT SHE'S STILL ANGRY ABOUT (Yes, some people keep that kind grudge).

Try to mend your relationship with her mother (you don't have to be her friend). Just don't be her enemy lest she turns your wife against you over and over again - the mum has a lot of influence on her, it seems.


If the man is rich then talking to her would work, but if you do not have money..it would not work.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by callthefred: 11:17pm On Jun 23, 2020
I'm not married but I think you're wrong early on. Why would mother in-law relocate to live with you. Was she sick and needed some special care?. Your problem started when your mother in-law came and I can in fact bet that they are already poisoning your daughters against you gradually.

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by okoloto: 11:17pm On Jun 23, 2020
The first mistake you made is allowing your in-law stay with you. Not all in-laws advice's their daughter well. So also when the guys mum stays with the couples. She will be using old experienced eye to check everything and will advice her daughter or son how to counter you. This kills marriages. Family kills marriages more than anything
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Gsentme(m): 11:17pm On Jun 23, 2020
Op i suspect you are the cause of all that has been happening. You are cheating on her because she always deny you sex, just tell your self the truth.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by karika2018: 11:18pm On Jun 23, 2020
ogawisdom:


First mistake never never marry a girl raised by a single mother. She saw what her mother went through bc of men and u will pay for it. She was raised to hate men. Her mother hates men bc of her failed relationship with them.

Second mistake how can you apologize when u are not guilty. I kw u are guilty Sha.

Since u are guilty and have apologize then u have to go and report to whoever gave her hand in marriage to you may be he can help resolve the matter.

No need for police, your children are with their mother and they are safe. No crime that needs police involvement except u want to waste your money.

Always avoid single mothers and their children when u want a serious relationship


so true....never marry a woman from a single mother.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Yankee101: 11:18pm On Jun 23, 2020
Like mother like daughter

If you sabi people (ehmm!), you can trace her location using her phone number

Letting the mum live with you was your first mistake

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Bluffly: 11:20pm On Jun 23, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused


I wonder the kind of your social setting and your mother in law though is a cancer. Your wife has simply taken after her. With your efforts on your wife, I don't think someone stupid(third party) should come home with accusations and wholla they swallow it and go gaga.
Your mother in law is bitter and she has contributed a lot.

On your part as well why will things always look like you are flirting. Just thinking
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by TOPCRUISE(m): 11:20pm On Jun 23, 2020
A wife that refuse to play with you and abuses you whenever she sees you with a lady and fights that lady like a mad woman. Even if you apologize and reconcile with her, she will divorce you finally.

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Lastmankc(m): 11:21pm On Jun 23, 2020
Simp man.

5 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by frozen70(f): 11:21pm On Jun 23, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused



Pls don't get depressed

Hold your self because the worst has not happened

The only solution now os, go to police station and make a report that your wife left with your children after your mother in law left after visiting your family

Relax yourself and think of what to do to make yourself happier

Call the family, I mean anyone of those people that witnessed your marriage and inform them

Don't beg her to come back, you have begged enough

Live your life as if nothing happened

Rock your life and drive away depression

She will pack back to your house when she realises that what she did is silly

And if she comes back ask her to go back that you equally need a break, she will refuse and people will gather to beg you

That's the right time for her to make a verbal undertaking that her mum will only visit on your approval and she won't stay beyond 24hrs

Honestly you have to be firm and strict at the same time

She is strolling her mums line and if you don't clip her wings, you will remain a puppet

Life is too short for someone to determine your happiness

By the time she sees that you are not perturbed about her absence, she will come home with shame

And if she stays longer than necessary, another woman takes in for you, its her business not yours worst case you get a room apartment for her or she joins her mother

I support women but not the one's that won't make impact yet deprive you of your own joy

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Bluffly: 11:22pm On Jun 23, 2020
TOPCRUISE:
Even if you apologize and reconcile with your wife she will divorce you finally. Talking from experience
Hmm. From the elders

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