bootstrap: My Gf has these painful periods, one month I got so irritated that I asked her if "she was d only girl that has painful periods"( note worthy tho, she still hounds me with that statement

Guy, different women with different systems. Some do have MP while some don't. It varies and the variation comes with different degrees-some mild and some severe. My friend told me of a classmate of hers that missed school whenever she had her monthly period. This lady usually spend days in the hospital because of the severity of the MP. What do you have to say about that, ehn?

bootstrap:
OP and ladies generally, even in pregnancy, especially at d early tym, try and not be sad and moody all d tym, so he doesn't get worn out when U̶̲̥̅̊ need him d most.

Have you ever heard of pregnancy hormones? These hormones work involuntary; no one can control their action. Better start preparing yourself for that nine month journey. If you know you can't handle it, don't embark on it. Maybe you should read the book What To Expect When You Are Expecting; it will enlighten you.

sub_zidi:
I remember the first row i had with my hubby which is stated on my thread! we were both miserable during the 3 day incommunicado!And the make up was funny as we were both incessantly apologising to each other! Sista Jenny kudos to you for talking sense into my skull then
It is too late now to expect him(ur hubby)to change try and endure and suck it all in and pray he changes but if he doesnt ! No pun intended!!

Hi sub_zidi, I remember your post. So happy you and your hubby are doing great!

Ujujoan: @ Poster

Please STOP playing the perfect wife!

Your concerns now should be the health of your child and not trying to ensure your husband goes to work with a lunch box! Isn't there any mama put close to his office? Why do you keep complicating things for yourself.

Listen, a man will only remain stubborn and strong headed if you let him.

Once in a while go all cr[i]az[/i]y on him so he'll know you can also be stubborn.

Dont, I repeat DONT, let a man get away with treating you badly, no matter what!

If he refuses to give you a pillow, snatch it from him and hit his head with it.

If he refuses to put off the ac, switch it off yourself and break the controls to pieces.

Yes you are tempramental, it's your right as a 9-month old pregnant wife!

Stubborn men only respect you when you show them your own strenght. Trust me, I'm talking from experience.

I belive that any woman can make her man into who/what she wants him to be. If you try the gentle way and it's not working, then get violent.

Remember this is only the beginning. When you have your child things will get tougher. You CANNOT cope with your husband if you keep letting him get away with all that.

Just my 2 cents!

Since the woman would be the one to introduce violence into the relationship, I hope she can go the whole lenght when everything in the house turns to fistcuffs and exchange of blows.

Its funny you think the wife can resort to violence and get away with it

Remember this is Nigeria, Wife beaters get away with it even the society would ask you whats new in husband beating wife.

With most of these approach the wife would eventually lose. I dont think a 9 month pregnant woman should be courting violence

Wow! its not easy sis,the Lord is your strength. May the Lord Most High grant you safe delivery.

fantababy:
Thank you all for your responses. I do appreciate. However, there is someone I want to respond directly to.
@Heck, you have mentioned deep things in your post, as such, I have deciphered that you are most likely my Hubby's close friend.

-YOU NAG A LOT: @Heck, I guess a little suggestion or expression of displeasure is equals to nagging.
-MADAM RIGHT WIFE:@Heck, I guess he told you, I think am always right. I asked him one time, of the many issues we have had, which one has he ever accepted was his fault. He always turns the table around, and accuses me of all the wrong doings. A least, I apologize when I do wrong, kindly ask him, when he has ever apologized.
-Being loved is different from being pampered.: @Heck, I have told my dear hubby a couple of times that I don't feel loved. I have even suggested ways for him to show me love. My dear hubby once said, he said I love you on our wedding day and does not need to ever say it again. Kindly ask him how he has tried to show me love.
-I[b]f he cooks for you today, any day he fails to cook, NTA will read it.:[/b]@ Heck, Did he also tell you he cooks for me. lol! Through out these past 9 months, he has cooked only 2ce. The first was noodles during my first trimester. The Second was spaghetti during my second trimester, his friend came around that day Saturday, and I wasn't around that day. Would you call that cooking for me. Ask him, the times I asked to help make stew, or boil rice or butter bread, what his responses where.
-Good, you often apologize after accusing him falsely that he is into extra marital game.:@ Heck, I guess he told you I accuse him falsely right? Imagine this scenario, Your 9 weeks pregnant wife has been waiting for you in the car for over an hr, so that you guys can go home together. She decides to go to the toilet for a wee. On getting to the female toilet, Her dear hubby is locked up inside the toilet cubicle with another lady. And instead of apologizing, what does dear hubby do, he turns table around and accuses wife of infidelity. I guess this is what you mean by accusing him falsely right?
-Those who play about don't show the babes to their wives.:@Heck, You claim to have 3 kids. Now imagine, there is this lady that your wife does not feel comfortable with. She can't point out exactly why, but her instincts & spirit just don't flow with this lady. She has asked you a couple of times, that pls keep your relation only at office level. Both of you have had pockets of argument over this lady. Then gbam, you come home one afternoon with this lady and another of your friend, and ask your wife to go and serve them food. I guess your wife would give you a pat on the back. Oh, I forgot to mention, that your wife is still furious at you for leaving her behind, both of you were meant to go for a birthday together. You went alone, and returned with this same lady she doesn't feel comfortable with....Yes, my dear hubby did this to me when I was in my second trimester.
-Please may this be the only side advise you are seeking about your marriage.: @Heck, if you re-read my post, you wld see that I mentioned I only wanted to vent my depression. I had already made my decisions and I wasn't asking/seeking for further advice.
-Start the pampering, may be he will learn.: @ Heck, I wonder how a 38 weeks pregnant woman, that feels so ill and is in so much pain would be able to pamper. I don't know how. Maybe you can tell me.
- I have learnt to cope, and I would continue coping. We are both Christians, and this is just a passing phase. No one is perfect, no marriage is perfect, we are young and we would build it together. Rome was not built in a day. We took a vow together, and God would help us to stick to it. Marriage is a training ground. Two different people coming to live together under one roof is not easy. I have forgiven all hurts, and I have forgotten all. Everyone makes mistakes, but we should be willing to change for the better. No one is always ever right.

- @ All asking what makes him fantastic, I would list a few:- He is jovial, he doesn't beat, he is very hardworking, he provides for his family, both nuclear & extended, he is a christian. He finally listens, but not before you have screamed & cried, he is fun. Amongst my friends, I still have the best hubby & marriage. They all come to me for advice.

- @Hubby if you are reading this, I want to remind you of two things we learnt during our marriage counseling days.
1.) Remember what my love language is? - Words of Affirmation & Acts of service. No matter how much gifts you get me/or places you take me to, no matter how much physical touch you give me. Without giving me,"acts of service & giving me words of affirmation, I would never ever feel loved.
2.) Remember the 3 words we were taught never to let go of? I love you, I am sorry and Thank you. Kindly include them back into your dictionary.

- Aas I said in my original post,for the next 2 weeks, I want to concentrate on myself. Am cutting out all stress. I am drawing strength from my inner man. It is only normal that I would feel anxious and apprehensive at this point, but this too would pass.

THANK YOU.

Sisi_Kill:
OP's husband. . .is that you?

^^^^
I beg no kill me with laugh.
I guessed as much

Jonwesley: I think you are just lazy, perhaps naive too and living in ur past. Ur first pregnancy, and the heavens must fall becos u claim ur husband isn't caring enough. The ladies wld obviously support ur naivety, but that won't help u anyway. Ur husband may not do all u said, becos he is what he is while u are a melancholy, who prods for trouble where non exists. Do u think it is better to be single? Do u not know what is is to be a wife? This is common among underaged or inmature ladies who expects their husbands to praise sing for them becos they don carry belle. Who sai, na u be the first or wetin? Abegi. There are more things u ve not said but only painted the facts that u want us to hear. I advise u brace up to ur marriage and avoid anything that cld create bad feelings and crack to ur marriage. Marriage is not a bed of roses, if u hear other pple's stories u will come and praise ur husband. Keep quiet.

Im so shocked there are still men with this kind of mentality.
I have six brothers and none of them think this way.
My brothers help out in the kitchen,help with some little things like sweeping the house and that does not stop them from being men
My elder brother helps clean his wife's car even before he does his own, and it still does not reduce him.
Oga i beg change your mentality.

Abeg Op stop being lazy jor!

U get belle no mean say guyman go turn U to Oracle wey dem dey worship.

Sometimes sef e good make men begin look the way of the multi-tasking Akwa Ibom girls to avoid these kind lazy wives.

dayokanu:

Since the woman would be the one to introduce violence into the relationship, I hope she can go the whole lenght when everything in the house turns to fistcuffs and exchange of blows.

Its funny you think the wife can resort to violence and get away with it

Remember this is Nigeria, Wife beaters get away with it even the society would ask you whats new in husband beating wife.

With most of these approach the wife would eventually lose. I dont think a 9 month pregnant woman should be courting violence

Dont you get it? She's already in serious pains. It's not untill a man hits you before he kills you!

You see it as violence, I see it as taking a tough stand. Wife beaters are truly cowards in disguise. Show them a tough skin and they'll back down . . . . Fact!

Remember the bible passage . . . "since the days of John the Baptist the kingdom of God has been suffering violence, and ONLY the violent can take it by force". Even Jesus knew that to save mankand, he has to allow himself to be killed!

If my husband treats me the way OP hubby treats her, me and him will put one leg in the same trousers!

D_BestDoc:

Im so shocked there are still men with this kind of mentality.
I have six brothers and none of them think this way.
My brothers help out in the kitchen,help with some little things like sweeping the house and that does not stop them from being men
My elder brother helps clean his wife's car even before he does his own, and it still does not reduce him.
Oga i beg change your mentality.
I heart goes out for the woman that will call/calls herself your wife.

I'm not surprised by all the attacks on me for speaking against this young lady in question,and the fact that these outbursts came from the women is just making or lending credence to all i ve said. Look i bare my thoughts to help u, and not to join the band wagon. Isn't the truth bitter? This is not a war of sexes and so it is better to balance the opinions posited here. Did this lady mention how sex has become in this family? Like i said, there are more things that she has not said, only painted what cld be easily condemned. I will just not want to raise further dusts and wait for my time. Good luck.

To those people saying there is no big deal in pregancy. i mean what is there in taking care of your pregnant wife for just nine months? or is it not the same woman who has been taking care of you for years before she got pregnant and will continue a few weeks after putting to bed?

we know you are men but you dont need to rub it in our faces.

What is going on here? I came back to see so many hidden posts, why now?

Fantababy o jare, I hope you are enjoying yourself wherever you are?

We are all entitled to our opinions but when I read some comments here, I can't just help but SMH.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you still believe in marriage, please genuinely seek the face of God before you enter that institution called MARRIAGE!

There are too many tales of woes flying around these days.

i cant help bt cry after reading ur post infact i dont knw what to say cus my heart is bleeding hard. i cant imagine a man treating his better half the way urs does, he is suppose to b there for u no matter what because u both made it happen anyway God is ur strenght and i pray He intervenes in ur marriage" wish u safe delivery and want u to knw we'll be praying for u. *hugs*

OMG!! I almost cried this early momo after reading this . . . una dey suffer ooo . . all in the name of marriage.

My dear I feel your pain. With my first, hubby was like come on it can't be that bad. I couldn't keep food down for 3months he was saying I was pretending. He did not sacrifice anything to comfort me. I decided to go home to my mom cos I thought I would die. Then I fainted. Spent like 2wks in the hospital. Baby was dead and I was almost gone. Then he started crying saying he was sorry and blamming doctors for not helping with my mornning sickness and telling him it was normal. I lost almost 20kg in those 2 and half months.
When subsequent pregnancies came, he was the best of men. Back scratching, racing to get me phernegan, accompany me to scans, washing all clothes bringing bucket for pukes etc.
Most men think pregnancy is easy just like cooking and sweeping. Their mothers have 15kids so why complain about 1. He may change for the best. Don't lose hope

Jonwesley:

I'm not surprised by all the attacks on me for speaking against this young lady in question,and the fact that these outbursts came from the women is just making or lending credence to all i ve said. Look i bare my thoughts to help u, and not to join the band wagon. Isn't the truth bitter? This is not a war of sexes and so it is better to balance the opinions posited here. Did this lady mention how sex has become in this family? Like i said, there are more things that she has not said, only painted what cld be easily condemned. I will just not want to raise further dusts and wait for my time. Good luck.

SEX kwa? Can you boink your wife when you have typhoid that is almost finishing you? Or when you have serious malaria? See for some women pregnancy is a sickness worse than typhoid that will last for a month. Its just like an alien takes over your body and no mater how you try you just can't get it back. I know cos I was one of the "lucky" few that nature blesses with every symptom of pregnancy known to man(some women are lucky they scale through with little or no discomfort). Nausea,headache,pelvic pain,heart burn, inshort every undesirable symptom was there.
Just support your woman. No woman wants to be confined to bed. Believe her when she says it hurts and be grateful you are not the one making that sacrifice she is making. My dear its not easy we just brave it and will brave it more when you men give us suport.

let him in the labour room when d baby is coming, maybe dat will make him become a better hubby when next....