chic2pimp:

No mind Saga jare

Alaye, o ye ko sor fun won o.

https://www.nairaland.com/1017330/im-not-sure-need-boyfriend/4#11827900

Sagamite: Here is another example of the difference in values between the West and Africa:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/9477318/Deputy-head-cleared-of-slapping-uncontrollable-seven-year-old-after-five-month-legal-battle.html

That is an example of the logic that is part of the reasons why Western kids do not respect their elders.

This man must have gone through hell thinking about if he would lose his means of livelihood and go to jail because he had to deal with a useless child.

He was taken to court for allegedly slapping the child. If it was the worthless child that slapped him, it would not have been treated as such a serious case.

How would a kid not grow up lacking respect for adults if brought up with this philosophy?

Be a student in Nigeria and dare slap your teacher and see what happens.

Worse still, be my child and dare slap your teacher for trying to control you in class.

There are other ways to instill discipline in a child other than outright slapping him on the face. I send my kids to school to get an education, and not get beaten up by a head who obviously has control issues.

For all you know, that child may have a medical issue or a Special Needs child on the autistic spectrum, ADH, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a strong advocate for discipline but in this case, I think the head was wrong. How much force did he as an adult use on the seven year old child? How much is enough?

Efemena_xy:
There are other ways to instill discipline in a child other than outright slapping him on the face. I send my kids to school to get an education, and not get beaten up by a head who obviously has control issues.

For all you know, that child may have a medical issue or a Special Needs child on the autistic spectrum, ADH, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a strong advocated for discipline but in this case, I think the head was wrong. How much force did he as an adult use on the seven year old child? How much is enough?

There might be other ways but spanking them should be one of the ways when it gets to a certain level.

You send your child to school to get an education? Then let him get it. He should not go there to not get it and also stop other kids, sent by parents like you for education, from getting one as well.

The head does not have control issues, he has been doing exemplary for over 40 years without a problem.

The child is the one that has discipline issues, he has been behaving like brat for the shorter 7 years he has been on this Earth and causing problems.

If you were doing your job well at home, it will be unlikely your child would need any beating in school.

If your child has special needs, then send him to special needs school. He should not go to a normal school and give disruptive special needs behaviours. Let his parents go and apply for special needs on his behalf and spare the kids he keeps hitting.

In this case, the head was right. He should have beat the shyt out him. Useless child! In my world, we would burn his buttocks.

I'm on mobile, so quoting you is going to be a bit difficult.

Just because he's got 40 years experience doesn't make him "whiter-than-snow". For all you know, he may have been getting away with such acts because no-one reported him.

Re sending kids to special needs school: Yes and No. In an ideal situation, yes that would be good. Unfortunately, the reality is different as you'll find that there have been cuts in government fundings for schools, more so with the conservative govt.

What you'll find instead are guises employed & encouraged by the govt in the form of SENCO in most state schools. They'll also tell you that unless the child is severely disabled, such a child is encouraged to interact with pupils in mainstream schools. "Statementing" was one form of help available to such kids but that is more or less nearly a thing of the past, as it incurs additional financial burden on over stretched councils. I know this isn't ideal, but that's the way it is.

As per your last paragraph, you obviously were joking. Otherwise you know he'll be locked up with the key thrown away - and not before he's blacklisted in his profession, and put on the register for child abusers.

Efemena_xy: I'm on mobile, so quoting you is going to be a bit difficult.

Just because he's got 40 years experience doesn't make him "whiter-than-snow". For all you know, he may have been getting away with such acts because no-one reported him.

I never said because of the 40 years he is whiter than snow. I am actually a very intelligent human being hence too smart to say such, secondly I don't know him. But the news report specifically said he has had an exemplary record and the child has a nuisance record.

Efemena_xy:
Re sending kids to special needs school: Yes and No. In an ideal situation, yes that would be good. Unfortunately, the reality is different as you'll find that there have been cuts in government findings for schools, more so with the conservative govt.

You are assuming there. I am pretty sure that austerity cuts does not imply a cut in the number of special needs school or the number of places available in them.

Efemena_xy:
What you'll find instead in are guises employed & encouraged by the govt in the form of SENCO in most state schools. They'll also tell you that unless the child is severely disabled, such a child is encouraged to interact with pupils in mainstream schools. "Statementing" was one form of help available to such kids but that is more or less nearly a thing of the past, as it incurs additional financial burden on over stretched councils. I know this isn't ideal, but that's the way it is.

Don't know what you are talking about here.

I no get pikin!

Efemena_xy:
As per your last paragraph, you obviously were joking. Otherwise you he'll be locked up with the key thrown away - and not before he's blacklisted in his profession, and put on the register for child abusers.

Well that will be the case in a country that is going through moral and disciplinary meltdown and which keeps on discussing moronically how to reverse the trend with more useless, hopeless and expensive funkadelic solutions.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8610410.stm
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14524834

In the professional world I operate in, there is what is called historical comparison, benchmarking and imitation.

If you want to know how to do something, look at countries that do it well and see how your can copy and improve their style.

They should go to countries where kids do not dare slap their teachers and see how they do it. They should also look at how they were able to do it before, what did they change that led to the downhill outcomes in their society.

It is not rocket science.

But 'No' politics will not allow them to apply sense. There is political capital in saying "anything for the kids", "smacking kids is abuse".

You end up with a society where kids have rights but no responsibilities.

This is the rubbish their schools have turned to:

"The deputy headmaster sat down with the boy on the floor of his office and repeatedly told him to calm down as he shouted and screamed in “an incandescent rage”."

Like if these teachers' time cannot be better utilised.

Kobojunkie:

I didn't say anything of someone forcing me to wash one way or another. I am simply trying to understand how this "VALUE" as someone claimed it to be can be understood . . . the positives, if any, measured.

You will not understand the VALUE of using one hand to eat and the other to wash your azz because you are not going to gain anything from trying to understand it. You were not brought up like that.

Why would you want to wash your azz after a shyt with the same hands you use in eating especially for those that use their hands to eat.

How many people have access to antibacterial handwash?

If common sense cannot help you to figure this out, then I'm sorry I cannot help.

kandiikane:

You will not understand the VALUE of using one hand to eat and the other to wash your azz because you are not going to gain anything from trying to understand it. You were not brought up like that.

Why would you want to wash your azz after a shyt with the same hands you use in eating especially for those that use their hands to eat.

How many people have access to antibacterial handwash?

If common sense cannot help you to figure this out, then I'm sorry I cannot help.

Sorry, but what you have above have NOTHING to do with common sense . . . You don't get to tack on the "common sense" badge on anything you come up with. There are tests it has to pass. So,sorry, what you have there does not work . . . again . .

Kobojunkie:

a) What comes out of your arse is the food you use your right hand to put into your mouth in the first place. So I don't see why it should be treated as if it is an abomination of something of that sort.

b) Wiping your butt, and then washing the same with your left hand, what does that accomplish please? I mean is that so that when folks bend over in the mosque, the person facing their arse does not get some offensive odour there way? That I can understand but anything else, I don't think I can handle.

c) I still don't get why it is ok to use the right hand for food and not the left? I mean your hands touch about the same surfaces all day. So if cleanliness is the main, then rather than focus on trying to get people to use different hands, would it not simply make more sense to say folks wash their hands more often?

It is so easy for you to make these claims here because you probably have never had to help someone else who was disabled and you needed to wipe them down and wash them and all. Common sense is that it does not matter what hand you use. What matters is that you wash that hand, left or right before you eat.

Going by your "common sense" logic up there, those who are born left handed are screwed, or don't you see that??

Sagamite: This is the rubbish their schools have turned to:

"The deputy headmaster sat down with the boy on the floor of his office and repeatedly told him to calm down as he shouted and screamed in “an incandescent rage”."

Like if these teachers' time cannot be better utilised.

You gat to be kidding me!!!! one look from me, will stop him from screaming.....it is obvious the boys parents did not train him well, if a 7 year old boy can be misbehaving to this extent, i wonder what he will do when he turns 14? be beating and exchanging blows with his dad for sure!

ronkebp:

You gat to be kidding me!!!! one look from me, will stop him from screaming.....it is obvious the boys parents did not train him well, if a 7 year old boy can be misbehaving to this extent, i wonder what he will do when he turns 14? be beating and exchanging blows with his dad for sure!

um . . . please stop!

If your powers in your eyes were that intense, wouldn't that then mean you wouldn't even need to spank at all? Your statements almost make it seem as if there has been discovered a one-trick solution to child raising.

The problem is there is no evidence to even show that spanking helps ensure society a better place really. It could be argued that well over 90% of kids in Nigeria were spanked at one time or another yet that places remains the jungle it is and all those kids grow up into the adults that inhabit that society today. So what does that tell you? That spanking is a solve all?

I am not against spanking . .. I got my share as a kid and I deserved 90% of it but suggesting spanking is a cure-all for what ails kids is ridiculous.

Kobojunkie:

Sorry, but what you have above have NOTHING to do with common sense . . . You don't get to tack on the "common sense" badge on anything you come up with. There are tests it has to pass. So,sorry, what you have there does not work . . . again . .
It is so easy for you to make these claims here because you probably have never had to help someone else who was disabled and you needed to wipe them down and wash them and all. Common sense is that it does not matter what hand you use. What matters is that you wash that hand, left or right before you eat.

Going by your "common sense" logic up there, those who are born left handed are screwed, or don't you see that??

I don't understand how someone will use his/her right hand to wipe his/her azz.....it is disgusting to even imagine it. But the truth is people do it and the world has not come to an end because of that....how many people will follow you into the toilet when you do your business? Though it is just nasty....ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!****puking*****

ronkebp:

I don't understand how someone will use his/her right hand to wipe his/her azz.....it is disgusting to even imagine it. But the truth is people do it and the world has not come to an end because of that....how many people will follow you into the toilet when you do your business? Though it is just nasty....ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!! Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!****puking*****

um . . . .Yes . . .. ewwww . . . your body created it .. . . ewwww . . .. poo is the food that went into your mouth to begin with .. . ewwww . . .. yeah . .. eeeewww... . . do you also have rules stipulating that you only wipe your sweat, another biproduct, with your left hand . .. ewww

Kobojunkie:

um . . . please stop!

If your powers in your eyes were that intense, wouldn't that then mean you wouldn't even need to spank at all?

Kobo..learn to be real and stop pretending....my son just turned 2 this past saturday...and boy!!!!! he knows when mama is not in the mood....all i have to do is ""give him that stare" without uttering anything and he stops. A parent has to device different means of correcting a child, not only by yelling, spanking or punnishment....even spanking a boy at that age, is just torture...because where will i hit and where will i leave? Sometimes i ask him, "if he wants to go upstairs?" and he shakes his head!!!!

Kobojunkie:

um . . . .Yes . . .. ewwww . . . your body created it .. . . ewwww . . .. poo is the food that went into your mouth to begin with .. . ewwww . . .. yeah . .. eeeewww... . .

Go and sit down....it was food, but no longer food...and that is why it is called "s/hi/t, igbe, nshi, kashi...

ronkebp:

Kobo..learn to be real and stop pretending....my son just turned 2 this past saturday...and boy!!!!! he knows when mama is not in the mood....all i have to do is ""give him that stare" without uttering anything and he stops. A parent has to device different means of correcting a child, not only by yelling, spanking or punnishment....even spanking a boy at that age, is just torture...because where will i hit and where will i leave? Sometimes i ask him, "if he wants to go upstairs?" and he shakes his head!!!!

I think I should be the one telling you to stop pretending here. Your son does still cry, throw tantrums and do about what every other 2 year old out there does, even with your wicked eye and what not. Stop pretending he does not do that.

Whether you device locking them up in towers, kids will be kids. That we know. Even pastors in deeperlife who are strict to the core still end up raising kids who do not agree with em. So , yes, be real . . stop pretending. There is no sure fire brand way of raising kids.

Kobojunkie:
The problem is there is no evidence to even show that spanking helps ensure society a better place really. It could be argued that well over 90% of kids in Nigeria were spanked at one time or another yet that places remains the jungle it is and all those kids grow up into the adults that inhabit that society today. So what does that tell you? That spanking is a solve all?

And you say, you were taught with "Biblical specific values"...what does the Book of Proverb say, about 'sparing the rod"?

Spanking is definitely not a "solve all" way of correcting a child, it is always good to use it as "last resort" to correction, if all others fail.

Kobojunkie:



I think I should be the one telling you to stop pretending here. Your son does still cry, throw tantrums and do about what every other 2 year old out there does, even with your wicked eye and what not. Stop pretending he does not do that.

Whether you device locking them up in towers, kids will be kids. That we know. Even pastors in deeperlife who are strict to the core still end up raising kids who do not agree with em. So , yes, be real . . stop pretending. There is no sure fire brand way of raising kids.

Are you married with kids? if not, no need going back and forth on this one with you...If that 7 year old tantrums was curbed when it was supposed to be curbed, he will not still be throwing tantrums at his age. My son throws tantrums wella, infact he has my temper....especially when he flings things and throws things around....by the time i look at him, he knows to just go where he threw that thing jejely to pick it up.

What is this about locking up kids in the tower?? Omo, you don kolo finish!!! , who is locking up their kids. And you said you were brought in in Nigeria?

ronkebp:

Go and sit down....it was food, but no longer food...and that is why it is called "s/hi/t, igbe, nshi, kashi...

um . . . that is not true because the food you eat today is fertilized by 1000's of years of sh/i/t, igbe, nshi, kashi that has been deposited by so millions born before you and who still live. That phenomenon is more apparent to those who live in Nigeria. So it is still food, only it has a different look to it when it is in your place , and when it comes out of you and goes down the loo.

Kobojunkie:

um . . . that is not true because the food you eat today is fertilized by 1000's of years of sh/i/t, igbe, nshi, kashi that has been deposited by so millions born before you and who still live. That phenomenon is more apparent to those who live in Nigeria. So it is still food, only it has a different look to it when it is in your place , and when it comes out of you and goes down the loo.

Please do me a favour...go to the bathroom...and dish out your s/h/it top it up with a glass cup of urine and sit at the table to eat it...SO THAT YOU CAN PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT S/HI/T IS FOOD.

ronkebp:

Please do me a favour...go to the bathroom...and dish out your s/h/it top it up with a glass cup of urine and sit at the table to eat it...SO THAT YOU CAN PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT S/HI/T IS FOOD.

Again . . . .

Kobojunkie:

um . . . that is not true because the food you eat today is fertilized by 1000's of years of sh/i/t, igbe, nshi, kashi that has been deposited by so millions born before you and who still live. That phenomenon is more apparent to those who live in Nigeria. So it is still food, only it has a different look to it when it is in your place , and when it comes out of you and goes down the loo.

ronkebp:

Are you married with kids? if not, no need going back and forth on this one with you...If that 7 year old tantrums was curbed when it was supposed to be curbed, he will not still be throwing tantrums at his age. My son throws tantrums wella, infact he has my temper....especially when he flings things and throws things around....by the time i look at him, he knows to just go where he threw that thing jejely to pick it up.

What is this about locking up kids in the tower?? Omo, you don kolo finish!!! , who is locking up their kids. And you said you were brought in in Nigeria?

I don't think it should matter what my marital status or the number of kids I have is, I mean at the end of the day, those children we all create, every one in the society will have to live with, so sorry I am not going to give you the chance to BOX this discussion.
This is for everyone no matter what tag has been placed on them since they all get to suffer if your experiment there(child raising) goes wrong, and they benefit it doesn't.

Again, no 7 year old on this planet can be raised well and not feel to express itself. If that was the case, then your 7-yearl old would not need to spanked at all. Kids will be kids(unless you are talking of brainwashing them into believing they have no right to express themselves).

Kobojunkie:
I don't think it should matter what my marital status or the number of kids I have is, I mean at the end of the day, those children we all create, every one in the society will have to live with, so sorry I am not going to give you the chance to BOX this discussion.
This is for everyone no matter what tag has been placed on them since they all get to suffer if your experiment there(child raising) goes wrong, and they benefit it doesn't.

Kobo-"junkie" don spark...no one is ready to box this discussion, but when you have kids and can come here and enlighten other mums' on how to raise up their kids, it will benefit every one.

Kobojunkie:
Again, no 7 year old on this planet can be raised well and not feel to express itself. If that was the case, then your 7-yearl old would not need to spanked at all. Kids will be kids(unless you are talking of brainwashing them into believing they have no right to express themselves).

A child should be allowed to express himself and herself in anyway...but misbehaving unnecessarily is a no-no, what has a parent taught his/her kid in the first place, when they go out to steal, fight and bully other children, or think he can raise his hands to beat up or slap his teacher or talk rudely to his teachers? what kind of "expressing" yourself is that? So other kids who are comporting themselves well are not expressing themselves.
"Biblical specific values"- "train your child in the way he should go, so that when he grows he will not depart from it".

ronkebp:

You gat to be kidding me!!!! one look from me, will stop him from screaming.....it is obvious the boys parents did not train him well, if a 7 year old boy can be misbehaving to this extent, i wonder what he will do when he turns 14? be beating and exchanging blows with his dad for sure!

You are a not modern enough. You are not progressive. You are not funky. O funky to! (You are not funky enough)

You are condemning a poor, defenseless, little boy. You should be sent back to your jungle in Africa so you can live on trees.

This is progress and modernity. Oyinbo don say am, make we copy dem!

ronkebp: Kobo-"junkie" don spark...no one is ready to box this discussion, but when you have kids and can come here and enlighten other mums' on how to raise up their kids, it will benefit every one.

um . . . sorry you were trying to make it about married and with kids. How then does that apply to everyone?

ronkebp:
A child should be allowed to express himself and herself in anyway...but misbehaving unnecessarily is a no-no, what has a parent taught his/her kid in the first place, when they go out to steal, fight and bully other children, or think he can raise his hands to beat up or slap his teacher or talk rudely to his teachers? what kind of "expressing" yourself is that? So other kids who are comporting themselves well are not expressing themselves.
"Biblical specific values"- "train your child in the way he should go, so that when he grows he will not depart from it".

Again, kids will always be kids, and it is given that they will misbehave, no matter how many looks you give them, and no matter how many times you spank them. They are humans and hence prone to tantrums, mistakes, you name the lot. There is no definite art when it comes to child raising and there is no guarantee that children raised one way are better than those raised another way. What is that parents should do their best in ensuring the kids are provided with all the skills necessary to help them grow into responsible adults.

Kobojunkie:

um . . . please stop!

If your powers in your eyes were that intense, wouldn't that then mean you wouldn't even need to spank at all? Your statements almost make it seem as if there has been discovered a one-trick solution to child raising.

The problem is there is no evidence to even show that spanking helps ensure society a better place really. It could be argued that well over 90% of kids in Nigeria were spanked at one time or another yet that places remains the jungle it is and all those kids grow up into the adults that inhabit that society today. So what does that tell you? That spanking is a solve all?

I am not against spanking . .. I got my share as a kid and I deserved 90% of it but suggesting spanking is a cure-all for what ails kids is ridiculous.

There is solid evidence spanking makes us respect our parents and elders in general.

Sagamite:

There is solid evidence spanking makes us respect our parents and elders in general.

Tell that to out next door neighbor back in Ikorodu whose child ended up stealing most all the money they had, and ran away to Cotonou right after we graduated from secondary school. . . . ****hisses****

Please do not come back with the "he was not spanked enough" bull-shiot that many of us have come to expect in these kind of arguments

Sagamite:

You are a not modern enough. You are not progressive. You are not funky. O funky to! (You are not funky enough)

You are condemning a poor, defenseless, little boy. You should be sent back to your jungle in Africa so you can live on trees.

This is progress and modernity. Oyinbo don say am, make we copy dem!

If "not training" your children well is being modern...then Mo-gba be!!! i prefer to remain funkless, i prefer to remain in the cave.... ...God will not allow me to have a child that will slap his father all in the name of modernity, Or a child i will be afraid to scold.hmmmmm!!!

Kobojunkie:

Tell that to out next door neighbor back in Ikorodu whose child ended up stealing most all the money they had, and ran away to Cotonou right after we graduated from secondary school. . . . ****hisses****

Cut the crap!

No 1, what proportion of kids do that?

No 2, do kids in the west not do worse?

Cut the BS when you are debating with Saga Saga!

ronkebp:

If "not training" your children well is being modern...then Mo-gba be!!! i prefer to remain funkless, i prefer to remain in the cave.... ...God will not allow me to have a child that will slap his father all in the name of modernity, Or a child i will be afraid to scold.hmmmmm!!!

Then you don't love you child!

You are backwards!

This is the 21st century!

Your child should be everything!

Sagamite:

Cut the crap!

No 1, what proportion of kids do that?

No 2, do kids in the west not do worse?

OH! so now it matters what proportion of kids do that and not the fact that his parents, who were pastors did all of what you suggest here should be it when it comes to raising a kid properly?

um . . kids in the west do worse? Really? And what is your evidence for this? Let me guess. . . you post a story of one case in the news from the west and pretend that we can ignore the fact that much of the same/similarly atrocities committed in Nigeria go unreported?

Kobojunkie:

OH! so now it matters what proportion of kids do that and not the fact that his parents, who were pastors did all of what you suggest here should be it when it comes to raising a kid properly?

um . . kids in the west do worse? Really? And what is your evidence for this? Let me guess. . . you post a story of one case in the news from the west and pretend that we can ignore the fact that much of the same/similarly atrocities committed in Nigeria go unreported?

What a stewpid statement.

Show me one approach to human interaction that gives 100% benefits 100% of the time.

So if one finds a case where it does not work, that means it is inappropriate?

I wait.

Go and watch TV programmes about their wayward kids and then come and tell me how many families have that in Africa.

I wait.