dayokanu:

There is a law against beating a minor. Which makes it illegal, There is a law against prostitution in some countries it still doesnt stop people from doing it.

Obviously.

dayokanu:
So tell me what you believe its right to beat a minor but wrong to beat an adult?

Yep.

dayokanu:
And can you tell us if the beaten children in Nigeria are better behaved than those that were not beaten

You yourself compare the kids you see raised in Naija to the ones you see raised in Texas.

The difference is 7-Up.

For example, you need to tell a 6 year old in UK multiple times to stop something. A Naija raised child (not one with funky parents o) just need to be told once.

Sagamite:
You yourself compare the kids you see raised in Naija to the ones you see raised in Texas.

The difference is 7-Up.

For example, you need to tell a 6 year old in UK multiple times to stop something. A Naija raised child (not one with funky parents o) just need to be told once.

I dont see where the kids raised in Nigeria are any better. If they are the ones who grow up into those unruly adults we see everyday then I can tell you the beating of kids is a failed method.

Why is beating an adult bad and beating a minor is good.

dayokanu:

I dont see where the kids raised in Nigeria are any better. If they are the ones who grow up into those unruly adults we see everyday then I can tell you the beating of kids is a failed method.

Unruly adult is a function of your society when you grow up and are independent.

No adequate police system, economic frustrations, frustrating beaurocracy etc can lead to unruly adults.

What you should use to judge effects of smacking on kids is how kids behave.

Countries like Japan, South Korea, China, Botswana, Chile and Singapore smack their kids and yet do not have unruly adults. That tells you other factors play a key role in unruly adults. Adults are independent people with capability that is hard to control.

The UK and US also have unruly adults, but just a good police system.

dayokanu:
Why is beating an adult bad and beating a minor is good.

You are not responsible for adults and you are not in a position to tell adults what to do.

Sagamite:

Mba!

Bachelor for life!

Lets see if you'll still be sayimg this five years down the line

Ishilove:
Lets see if you'll still be sayimg this five years down the line

You dey set trap?

Dem dey catch breeze?

Sagamite:

You yourself compare the kids you see raised in Naija to the ones you see raised in Texas.

It is not illegal to spank/smack your child in Texas, and in majority (if not all) of the United states. Excessive, unreasonable force is what's illegal. Just fyi.

I see these types of people and their kids everyday. It's not because they don't spank that the kids are rotten, it's because they don't discipline.

ileobatojo:

It is not illegal to spank/smack your child in Texas, and in majority (if not all) of the United states. Excessive, unreasonable force is what's illegal. Just fyi.

I see these types of people and their kids everyday. It's not because they don't spank that the kids are rotten, it's because they don't discipline.

You have a point.

I know this but believe me, majority of the black people that want to follow this funky philosophy do not know this.

Another thing, I am also an advocate of controlled corporal punishment in schools, which the West disagrees with.

It is unreasonable and insane to think you can raise every child without corporal punishment. People must have access to different methods and should be held accountable for any method they use that goes too far.

Sagamite:

You dey set trap?

Dem dey catch breeze?

Very big trap and you no go fit resist am

OP where you na? Menh the long throat you dey do us no good o.

Lmao@ the stup1d man jumping fence,him for wait na, shebi him na james bond.

Ishilove:
Very big trap and you no go fit resist am

Even if you have a body like Kim Kardashian, you no fit hold this hotcake down.

I wouldn't resist the body but you can't put the smallest handcuffs on this smooth criminal.

Saga aka Mo baaad gan!

Sagamite:

I know this but believe me, majority of the black people that want to follow this funky philosophy do not know this.

That could be. But the flip side is that many Nigerians believe discipline=beating. Unfortunately, it is abusive or bordering on abuse in many cases. They don't know anything of the myriad of other more effective methods and don't care to know.

Another thing, I am also an advocate of controlled corporal punishment in schools, which the West disagrees with.

I would be fine with this. I did a quick search and saw an article that said the US is the only first world country where corporal punishment in schools is not illegal. Interesting. But I'm sure the fear of lawsuit will not allow the schools to even try it.

It is unreasonable and insane to think you can raise every child without corporal punishment. People must have access to different methods and should be held accountable for any method they use that goes too far.

I agree. Some kids may only respond to that. But it needs to be focused on instilling discipline and not on dissipating the adult's anger.

ileobatojo:

That could be. But the flip side is that many Nigerians believe discipline=beating. Unfortunately, it is abusive or bordering on abuse in many cases. They don't know anything of the myriad of other more effective methods and don't care to know.

I would be fine with this. I did a quick search and saw an article that said the US is the only first world country where corporal punishment in schools is not illegal. Interesting. But I'm sure the fear of lawsuit will not allow the schools to even try it.

I agree. Some kids may only respond to that. But it needs to be focused on instilling discipline and not on dissipating the adult's anger.

I concur with every point.

Sagamite:

Even if you have a body like Kim Kardashian, you no fit hold this hotcake down.

I wouldn't resist the body but you can't put the smallest handcuffs on this smooth criminal.

Saga aka Mo baaad gan!

For your mind Make we hiaa word. It is either you are describing your bedimatic skills as "Champion horse ever known" or you calling yourself "the greatest gift to woman"

jennykadry:

For your mind Make we hiaa word. It is either you are describing your bedimatic skills as "Champion horse ever known" or you calling yourself "the greatest gift to woman"

Look, I am too much for one woman to hold to herself for ever.

I need to distibute this graceful gift of God to women generously, equally and as beautifully as if I were Xavi or Pirlo at a Cup final.

ferhyntorlah: Drnoel, please don't summarise oh. Please take your time to write what happened bit by bit. I have been eagerly waiting for the update.

As I read the update especially the part where the woman's family came prepared, I just could help but laugh. The man don enter am; next time he will think twice before raising his hands on a woman even if he is angry.

I hope this incident serves as a lession to all men who still feel bashing a woman is ok. You never know the kind people she get for her side who won't take such thing being done on their daughter/sister/cousin lightly.

it depends on popular request. If people in this thread want me to give the whole story and not the summerized version, then I would have to bend to people´s wishes.

I think once we clear the misconception about what constitutes as beating a child, we will find out we are all saying the same thing - Spanking a child, say a quick swat on the bum is quite different from beating them until they about ready to pass out. When you are breathing like you just ran a marathon after beating a child. . .then you have gone too far. When people feel the need to physically restrain you when beating a child. . .You have gone too far. When you have to nurse your hand from injuries inflicted from beating a child, you have gone too far. If that child has to scars and needs medical attention from the beatings meted on him. . .YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR and this is what is illegal in foreign countries.

The laws protect children from physical injury and not short temporary pain induced from spanking. I have seen many parents (including my sisters and brothers)spank their kids in public when they are misbehaving and no one batted an eye let alone have them arrested for it. So the idea that the laws does not allow parents to spank their kids is just plain wrong. And yeah, unfortunately this is what is being peddled by funky Nigerian Parents who refuse to discipline their kids. If only they would do some research


CHILD ABUSE
At the Federal level, the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) defines child abuse and neglect as: Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an
imminent risk of serious harm

TYPES OF ABUSE (I'm only gonna post the Physical abuse type here since that what we are discussing. You can read more about the different types of abuses HERE

Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is generally defined as “any nonaccidental" physical injury to the child” and can include striking, kicking, burning, or biting the child, or any action that results in a physical impairment of the child.

If the above is not what you want to do to a child, then I don't think there's any reason for arguing.

I narrated the whole scenerio to my husband, i wanted to know his opinions in regards to the matter, not that the matter has not been over flogged.

He said;
1. the lady (wife) is at fault, in the sense that, she should have waited for her husband to come back before she started beating up the girl, not that he does not support a child to be disciplined, but the girl in question is an inlaw, to her and moreso, God forbid she hit her out of anger and the girl passes-out, what will she say happened to the girl. She should have waited and reported the girl to her husband and allowed the husband to carry out the disciplinary action, that would have averted all this unnecessary clash in the family.

2. He said, it goes to show how the man's(husband) family is, they preach respect and demand it at all cost, without necessarily knowing how to give it in return. The brother of the husband shouldn't have come over to the house but instead, he should have called his brother and reported the incident to him, let the husband take it up from there.

3. Above all, there is no point allowing your unnecessary family members that have parents, in the case of this little girl, to be allowed to come and live with you, the girl should remain with her parents, if it is money they need, that money should be given to them on a monthly basis to care for their kids (since the man is handicapped, and cannot work) , i laughed at that one.

ronkebp: I narrated the whole scenerio to my husband, i wanted to know his opinions in regards to the matter, not that the matter has not been over flogged.

He said;
1. the lady (wife) is at fault, in the sense that, she should have waited for her husband to come back before she started beating up the girl, not that he does not support a child to be disciplined, but the girl in question is an inlaw, to her and moreso, God forbid she hit her out of anger and the girl passes-out, what will she say happened to the girl. She should have waited and reported the girl to her husband and allowed the husband to carry out the disciplinary action, that would have averted all this unnecessary clash in the family.

2. He said, it goes to show how the man's(husband) family is, they preach respect and demand it at all cost, without necessarily knowing how to give it in return. The brother of the husband shouldn't have come over to the house but instead, he should have called his brother and reported the incident to him, let the husband take it up from there.

3. Above all, there is no point allowing your unnecessary family members that have parents, in the case of this little girl, to be allowed to come and live with you, the girl should remain with her parents, if it is money they need, that money should be given to them on a monthly basis to care for their kids (since the man is handicapped, and cannot work) , i laughed at that one.

I disagree.

If an in-law is living and benefiting under my roof, my wife should have the liberty to deal with the situation in my absence the same way I would have (i.e. smack a child or tell off a younger adult if necessary).

FFS, she is the Junior Partner, Chief Operating Officer and an Executive Director in that territory! She has enough powers.

I am the Chairman, Senior Partner, Chief Executive Officer and Managing Director! I am saying this to let everyone know I am more superior in my relationships. Alpha-male here o, not real man. I lead in my house, any woman that does not like it can fck off.

Sagamite:

I disagree.

If an in-law is living and benefiting under my roof, my wife should have the liberty to deal with the situation in my absence the same way I would have (i.e. smack a child or tell off an adult if necessary).

FFS, she is the Junior Partner, Chief Operating Officer and an Executive Director in that territory! She has enough powers.

I am the Chairman, Senior Partner, Chief Executive Officer and Managing Director! I am saying this to let everyone know I am more superior. Alpha-male here o, not real man. I lead in my house, any woman that does not like it can fck off.

Sometimes using wisdom in a case that involves both families or might involve both families, is better than exercising some rights or power, Many atimes we all have powers but choosing the battle is always the best time to show-off that power. There is nothing wrong in correcting a child, but if it means you will have to beat her to the point that her own father will come and fight on her behalf and would involve the entire family, then it was best she waited for her husband first or reporting the child to her husband first....before unleashing her anger.

Moreso an inlaw...is still another person's child.....

ronkebp:

Sometimes using wisdom in a case that involves both families or might involve both families, is better than exercising some rights or power, Many atimes we all have powers but choosing the battle is always the best time to show-off that power. There is nothing wrong in correcting a child, but if it means you will have to beat her to the point that her own father will come and fight on her behalf and would involve the entire family, then it was best she waited for her husband first or reporting the child to her husband first....before unleashing her anger.

Moreso an inlaw...is still another person's child.....

The father is daft!

If your child is living under our roof and something happens you don't like, even if you do not have the brains to broach it with me first, have the brains to talk to the wife instead of slapping her.

I guess it is because the person has limited brain cells is the most likely reason his own child is not living under his roof. He should be grateful.

You are a man and someone else is raising your child, anuofia!

Sagamite:

The father is daft!

If your child is living under our roof and something happens you don't like, even if you do not have the brains to broach it with me first, have the brains to talk to the wife instead of slapping her.

I guess it is because the person has limited brain cells is the most likely reason his own child is not living under his roof. He should be grateful.

You are a man and someone else is raising your child, anuofia!

My hubby says, apart from the fact that the girl's father is a useless man "raising his hands against his brother's wife", he is sure, the lady is not well-liked by the husband's family, so he/they got an oppotunity to unleash what has been bothering him/them on the lady.....that there is more to that story than what just a mere spanking would cause.

ronkebp:

My hubby says, apart from the fact that the girl's father is a useless man "raising his hands against his brother's wife", he is sure, the lady is not well-liked by the husband's family, so he/they got an oppotunity to unleash what has been bothering him/them on the lady.....that there is more to that story than what just a mere spanking would cause.

Well the would give me an opportunity to unleash my own back if that is the mentality!

If that is really the mentality, I will break a head to cure the mental state.

Someone should never try that kind of shyt with me.

Sagamite:

Well the would give me an opportunity to unleash my own back if that is the mentality!

If that is really the mentality, I will break a head to cure the mental state.

Someone should never try that kind of shyt with me.

If you do not have a loose family, that thinks they can get away with anything and lack respect, they won't try it at all because that is the height of dis-respect

Moreso, i feel the brother feels, he would get away with it, you know that thought "that i will deal with this babe's f/u/ck-up since the hubby cannot control her"...mentality, now it has back-fired.

ronkebp:

My hubby says, apart from the fact that the girl's father is a useless man "raising his hands against his brother's wife", he is sure, the lady is not well-liked by the husband's family, so he/they got an oppotunity to unleash what has been bothering him/them on the lady.....that there is more to that story than what just a mere spanking would cause.

In this point I agree with ur husband. It looks like most people hid their opinion about her till this issue surfaced and I was surprised to hear what my cousin´s family were saying about her, this was b4 her own family came into the picture and scattered the whole place. Then my family elders in their desperation to control the situation had to change their stand.

drnoel:

In this point I agree with ur husband. It looks like most people hid their opinion about her till this issue surfaced and I was surprised to hear what my cousin´s family were saying about her, this was b4 her own family came into the picture and scattered the whole place. Then my family elders in their desperation to control the situation had to change their stand.

If you do not like my wife, stay the fck clear of her.

You will never have the right to put your hands on her. I don't even have that right.

Sagamite:

If you do not like my wife, stay the fck clear of her.

You will never have the right to put your hands on her. I don't even have that right.

My mentality too but just saying that or thinking it would not help the situation if u have a difficult family that would always put their nose where u don´t want them to. Just see from this incident how a lady was treated just cos she disciplined her niece. Yes, someone mentioned she should have reported to her husband first and I think the husband would have been in the better place to handle his niece. Also like someone said, lines were crossed and alot of people were disrespected but the fight, struggles and all that has transpired would not stop the plain fact that if one requires and demands respect from another person, one must be ready to first give that respect b4 one receives it back.
Right now ammendments is the order of the day and my elder cousin and some elders have been asked to pay madam´s parent a visit and extend their regret at the matter and also seek for suitable solution.

chaircover:

You are absolutely right, no one should be beating anyone.

BTW from what drnoel said, it was the wife who invited the girl into their home to come and help her with house chores . . . .am I correct drnoel?

yes u are correct

drnoel wetin happen for the meeting na?

Drnoel,
Which kain summary be dis?I have been stalking this thread waiting for blow by blow account.
Nawa to you o!

^The thing don tire me sef