So safarigirl, if you are in your husband's house and his niece that you clothe and you feed is rude to you, what will you do ?

freecocoa:

Me gan sef no really understand what she said o,maybe if i read it like 5 times over i may get something out of it,but unfortunately i don't have that kind of time.

Just a line from me and I got all that lecture on ??....... Sorry scrap that. I need to go read it again for better understanding

:DLet me interprete, jenny she said you insult and degrade people. 2)you'll soon start calling her a bit.ch and an ashawo. 3) that all touts were beaten with tree branches

steph7: :DLet me interprete, jenny she said you insult and degrade people. 2)you'll soon start calling her a bit.ch and an ashawo. 3) that all touts were beaten with tree branches

I'm sure you got an A+ in summary.

Lol, yes na!

^Na so

That was a niece helping them out. She shouldn't have touched her. If she wanted a slave sha could have purchased one. I guess it is sweet beating someone else's child, but not sweet when you are beaten the same way. Maybe its the location attracting sentiment. Yoruba will say "Ba mi na omo mi, ko de inu olomo". She learned her lesson. The brother cannot do anything to his older brother. He may even be attacked by other family members. She has created a big problem for herself in that family. Everyone should just apologise to each other and move on. Not because a man is poor you think he's lost his dignity, manhood and voice.

freecocoa: I was thinking to just wait till after the meeting to know the outcome of the whole thing but my curiosity no gree me.

Please why is your father against the woman?(I'm asking cos its rare to see an Igbo man in support of a kid being rude to elders)there are just so many issues involved in this case,i guess its coming out gradually,its obvious not everyone supports the marrying of that woman abi did the woman beat the girl mercilessly?

to my knowledge this is the first time any of such has happened, that is as far as I know. I also know that the elder cousin takes his role alittle too seriously. As 4 my dad, he has no problem with the lady particularly that he does not have with edo people in general but that remains his opinion and his alone. He though mentioned yesterday as we where talking among us, that no outside woman, he does not know when she was married into the family (he was present at their wedding ooo) would come and cause division in the family. I had to ask him what he meant by that, that how does her beating an unruhly child compute to causing division among brothers. He just told me shut up there b4 I slap u ur own .

ronkebp:

I agree with everything the Bible has said, i have not made any laws nor am i ready to start arguing about what the Bible has said. God is the head of the Man, and the Man is the head of the woman (no one is arguing with that) God made man from dust, woman was made from the man's rib. So what is your point

I have been following the arguments .criosly I luv the way dayokanu and coogar nailed it .girls, girls, girls pls listen to this guys if u want to have a happy home.wisdom is what u need to handle your family

Ronke baby do u biliv that women were made from a man's rib? Wow and a man is made from dust I laugh in all naija languages

drnoel:

to my knowledge this is the first time any of such has happened, that is as far as I know. I also know that the elder cousin takes his role alittle too seriously. As 4 my dad, he has no problem with the lady particularly that he does not have with edo people in general but that remains his opinion and his alone. He though mentioned yesterday as we where talking among us, that no outside woman, he does not know when she was married into the family (he was present at their wedding ooo) would come and cause division in the family. I had to ask him what he meant by that, that how does her beating an unruhly child compute to causing division among brothers. He just told me shut up there b4 I slap u ur own .

Hmm is all i can say,till friday na.

Even though I know Dayokanu can speak for himself, I wish to correct some interpretations to all his post on this thread (I can see some propagandists trying to use his post as a jumping off board for their the husband and his family are kings propaganda).

He is not saying the woman deserves to be beaten because she dared to "touch a member of her husband's family" to think that would imply he believes it is okay if it were a member of her family or some average joe off the street (Take note safarigirl)

He is not saying the woman has no right to reprimand the child in question.

He is not saying it is okay for the BIL to beat the woman just because she has a lesser status in the family (again safarigirl take note)

He is not saying the woman deserved what she got because she over stepped the boundaries her "Janey come lately in to the family" status awards her. (looking at you again Safarigirl)

What he is saying is violence no matter who it is directed at is wrong. Let's face it...Nigerians, we are bullies. We tend to pick on people we perceive are weaker than us (Physically, financially, mentally and any other ally you can think of) . . . this is why Bosses can slap workers, Rich man can slap poor man, men beat women, Adults beat children.

This is why the people who get killed, maimed and ostracized from society because they are "witches" are the poor, the elderly women and children. How come a man is never a wizard? How come children from wealthy homes are not amongst those getting nails drilled in their heads? This is the mentality of our society.

But back to the issue hand. . . Why do we get all up in arms when an adult beats another adult (man beating woman) but don't bat an eye when an adult beats a small child, who by all accounts is more defenseless?

If we are to table the reasons given for why men do the former, we will see how not so different they are from reasons given for the latter.

She was rude
She was disrespectful
She needed correction
It was to teach her a lesson for the future
She needed her tongue curbed
She needs an attitude change etc.

If these reasons can sound appalling for one instance, what makes them a-okay in the next?

Despite our beaty beaty society, we still have some of the worst set of kids. At what point are we gonna sit back and realize. . .something ain't right? Maybe it is time to go to the drawing board and come up with something else?

There's gotta be a middle ground between the so called beat at all cost, beat like there is no tomorrow Nigerian culture and the so called pat a cake, pat on the head, there there culture people perceive to be of the west.

Let's find that and stop treating each other like animals abeg.

@Safarigirl
Sorry if it seemed like I was picking on your. . .especially since you are not the only one carrying the HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY ARE KINGS banner but the others are guys. . . and I know it sounds unfair but I expect that kinda warped thinking from men, most of them can only see as far as their noses. I guess I and going by the responses your post has received from other women. . .many of us expected much more from a woman.

drnoel:

to my knowledge this is the first time any of such has happened, that is as far as I know. I also know that the elder cousin takes his role alittle too seriously. As 4 my dad, he has no problem with the lady particularly that he does not have with edo people in general but that remains his opinion and his alone. He though mentioned yesterday as we where talking among us, that no outside woman, he does not know when she was married into the family (he was present at their wedding ooo) would come and cause division in the family. I had to ask him what he meant by that, that how does her beating an unruhly child compute to causing division among brothers. He just told me shut up there b4 I slap u ur own .

How did that make you feel?

We Nigerians reply with sentiments on this forum. When concerns us, we remember culture but when it doesn't we move right ahead.

I remember a thread where one guy talked about how nasty his SIL was to him when he visited her un announced, everyone was screaming blue murder on that thread ....."courtesy demands this and Courtsey demands that."...he should have informed her before coming how rude but BUSYBODY and one DAILYGUY's comments humbled me, they asked if we were so in a hurry to forget about where we are came from?, have we become so westernized that our traditional values have been swept under the carpet?" when did people start announcing their visits before time? What happened in those days when we had no form of communication? If BIL informed his brother isn't it enough already?

these same people talking about how nigerians need to change their cultural views or how our traditional values are fckud up, supported these nairalanders comments indirectly. Is it not the same Nigerian values? Why do we only pick them when it suits our opinion at that point in time?

May God save us all including myself

PS, I'm mobile pardon errors

i think is not right ooooo

Dipwater:

I have been following the arguments .criosly I luv the way dayokanu and coogar nailed it .girls, girls, girls pls listen to this guys if u want to have a happy home.wisdom is what u need to handle your family

Ronke baby do u biliv that women were made from a man's rib? Wow and a man is made from dust I laugh in all naija languages

your point is ?

Sisi_Kill:

How did that make you feel?

what do u want me to do,...fight him, come on, he is my dad. I just smiled, stood up and left the house immediately. By the time they started looking for me I was already sleeping in my bed . Even as much as its only my dad that can talk to me like that, I still won't just take it especially when I know I am not wrong. Don't get me wrong, I didn't say I was right either but I believe he won't speak to me like that in a while after that incident cos mumsy kept appologising.

Sisi_Kill: Even though I know Dayokanu can speak for himself, I wish to correct some interpretations to all his post on this thread (I can see some propagandists trying to use his post as a jumping off board for their the husband and his family are kings propaganda).

He is not saying the woman deserves to be beaten because she dared to "touch a member of her husband's family" to think that would imply he believes it is okay if it were a member of her family or some average joe off the street (Take note safarigirl)

He is not saying the woman has no right to reprimand the child in question.

He is not saying it is okay for the BIL to beat the woman just because she has a lesser status in the family (again safarigirl take note)

He is not saying the woman deserved what she got because she over stepped the boundaries her "Janey come lately in to the family" status awards her. (looking at you again Safarigirl)

What he is saying is violence no matter who it is directed at is wrong. Let's face it...Nigerians, we are bullies. We tend to pick on people we perceive are weaker than us (Physically, financially, mentally and any other ally you can think of) this is why Bosses can slap workers, Rich man can slap poor man, men beat women, Adults beat children.

This is why the people who get killed, maimed and ostracized from society because they are "witches" are the poor, the elderly women and children. How come a man is never a wizard? How come children from wealthy homes are not amongst does getting nails drilled in their heads. This is the mentality of our society.

But back to the issue hand. . . Why do we get all up in arms when an adult beats another adult (man beating woman) but don't bat an eye when an adult beats a small child, who by all accounts is more defenseless).

If we are to table the reasons given for why men do the former, we will see how not so different they are from reasons given for the latter.

She was rude
She was disrespectful
She needed correction
It was to teach her a lesson for the future
She needed her tongue curbed
She needs an attitude change etc.

If these reasons can sound appalling for one instance, what makes them a-okay in the next?

Despite our beaty beaty society, we still have some of the worst set of kids. At what point are we gonna sit back and realize. . .something ain't right? Maybe it is time to go to the drawing board and come up with something else?

There's gotta be a middle ground between the so called beat at all cost, beat like there is no tomorrow Nigerian culture and the so called pat a cake, pat on the head, there there culture people perceive to be of the west.

Let's find that and stop treating each other like animals

excellent post!
well done, ma'am....

Too bad

coogar:

excellent post!
well done, ma'am....

I completely concur. Sisikill is absolutely on the money. That was an epic post!

I smack my child sometimes but I can categorically confirm that it is the least effective form on 'discipline' I have ever employed. Growing up, the relative that lived with us who we all dreaded and obeyed the most never once laid a hand on us. We need to rethink what we know as discipline and see where we can make it better. Most times, you beat people to defuse your own anger when you can get away with it. If this girl in question was a tall, muscular, rough, 14yr old boy, how would she address the problems with him? Bullies indeed.

Smacking can be used when appropriate with your own children (even is allowed in the US legally) but to be going around smacking other people's children unnecessarily is another thing.

ileobatojo:

I completely concur. Sisikill is absolutely on the money. That was an epic post!

I smack my child sometimes but I can categorically confirm that it is the least effective form on 'discipline' I have ever employed. Growing up, the relative that lived with us who we all dreaded and obeyed the most never once laid a hand on us. We need to rethink what we know as discipline and see where we can make it better. Most times, you beat people to defuse your own anger when you can get away with it. If this girl in question was a tall, muscular, rough, 14yr old boy, how would she address the problems with him? Bullies indeed.

Smacking can be used when appropriate with your own children (even is allowed in the US legally) but to be going around smacking other people's children unnecessarily is another thing.

Excellent post.

I have always said it that ppl who beat always do so because they can get away with it. When your young wife, sister, brother, househelp, driver "insult" or "disrespect" you, You would bring out stick and and punch him/her to death, Why don't the same men when insulted by their boss, Policemen, soldiers, areaboys etc develop the same anger and beat those?

Like sisikill said, How come the witches we always beat in the market place are the weakest and most vulnerable in the society? Why is it that Mike Adenugas kids are never witches, or Tall weightlifters/boxers are never witches but its the wretched old women, the 5-8yr old malnourished girls. etc.

In the case of pastor who slapped a girl let me ask if it was OBJ or Jonathan or Tinubu or Hulk Hogan would he have slapped him? But guess what a fragile malnourished teenage girl is the winch for Jeezus.

I have been in many of these situations before when A bully would be harrasing a smaller person, when I show there to challenge him, the same Bully who was uncontrollably angry would suddenly know how to explain himself that

"Thank you brother Dayo, wetin happen be say.." So you know how to talk and explain when you saw a taller and bigger person? before when you were threatening to beat a smaller person without listening to any appeal

Sigh!

I hope the father took his child with him after the dirty slaps that made madam to see passing stars. I think he has no right to slap the wifey. Just take your daughter away in peace.
one thing i pray is not to have family members coming to stay with us (mine or his). Too much hassle and i love my peace of mind.

dayo take note

armyofone: Sigh!

I hope the father took his child with him after the dirty slaps that made madam to see passing stars. I think he has no right to slap the wifey. Just take your daughter away in peace.
one thing i pray is not to have family members coming to stay with us (mine or his). Too much hassle and i love my peace of mind.

dayo take note

As long as its me and you, we go dey shine kongo day and night and we wont even have time for any relative or neighbour

freecocoa:

Me gan sef no really understand what she said o,maybe if i read it like 5 times over i may get something out of it,but unfortunately i don't have that kind of time.

Lmao! because she be delta ibo.
D babe never jam craze person ni.
D BIL dt will slap me has not been born, walahi.

God forbid I bring my husband's people to assist me, I'm not a lazy slob who requires assistance from a 12 or 14 year old gurl, my mother never did it, and she didn't die, neither will I. I don't like inviting trouble, so I would never hit someone else's child without permission, be she my relative or a stranger, I'm not some barbaric illiterate. Let it be known that I do NOT support BIL's action cos 2 wrongs don't make a right, I only got frustrated cos of those who maintain the woman is totally right when she has her wrong. Everyday I read that some poor kid was scarred beyond recognition or killed by some disgruntled aunt cos of 'disrespect' or some other flimsy excuse, 'disrespect' is a matter of opinion, has beating the gurl earned the woman that respect now? Who says the gurl won't try it again? I've said it, the day my husband or his people raise a hand against me, I pack my sh1t and leave, I won't call the cops, won't get thugs, I'll just leave, I don't have hate in me, so I won't have any personal vendetta against anyone or go about hitting a kid, I know how sharp mouthed I get, even when I don't mean to sound rude, I do, so I'm in a good position to sympathise with those who get hit for sh1t they probably didn't mean. I said it before and I'll say it again, both were WRONG. Anyone who doesn't understand this might as well get someone to translate it to whatever trash they understand.

Sisi_Kill: Even though I know Dayokanu can speak for himself, I wish to correct some interpretations to all his post on this thread (I can see some propagandists trying to use his post as a jumping off board for their the husband and his family are kings propaganda).

He is not saying the woman deserves to be beaten because she dared to "touch a member of her husband's family" to think that would imply he believes it is okay if it were a member of her family or some average joe off the street (Take note safarigirl)

He is not saying the woman has no right to reprimand the child in question.

He is not saying it is okay for the BIL to beat the woman just because she has a lesser status in the family (again safarigirl take note)

He is not saying the woman deserved what she got because she over stepped the boundaries her "Janey come lately in to the family" status awards her. (looking at you again Safarigirl)

What he is saying is violence no matter who it is directed at is wrong. Let's face it...Nigerians, we are bullies. We tend to pick on people we perceive are weaker than us (Physically, financially, mentally and any other ally you can think of) . . . this is why Bosses can slap workers, Rich man can slap poor man, men beat women, Adults beat children.

This is why the people who get killed, maimed and ostracized from society because they are "witches" are the poor, the elderly women and children. How come a man is never a wizard? How come children from wealthy homes are not amongst those getting nails drilled in their heads? This is the mentality of our society.

But back to the issue hand. . . Why do we get all up in arms when an adult beats another adult (man beating woman) but don't bat an eye when an adult beats a small child, who by all accounts is more defenseless?

If we are to table the reasons given for why men do the former, we will see how not so different they are from reasons given for the latter.

She was rude
She was disrespectful
She needed correction
It was to teach her a lesson for the future
She needed her tongue curbed
She needs an attitude change etc.

If these reasons can sound appalling for one instance, what makes them a-okay in the next?

Despite our beaty beaty society, we still have some of the worst set of kids. At what point are we gonna sit back and realize. . .something ain't right? Maybe it is time to go to the drawing board and come up with something else?

There's gotta be a middle ground between the so called beat at all cost, beat like there is no tomorrow Nigerian culture and the so called pat a cake, pat on the head, there there culture people perceive to be of the west.

Let's find that and stop treating each other like animals abeg.

@Safarigirl
Sorry if it seemed like I was picking on your. . .especially since you are not the only one carrying the HUSBAND AND HIS FAMILY ARE KINGS banner but the others are guys. . . and I know it sounds unfair but I expect that kinda warped thinking from men, most of them can only see as far as their noses. I guess I and going by the responses your post has received from other women. . .many of us expected much more from a woman.

nne, Safari is probably the only woman who doesn't support women. Why? Because women always want to have their cake and eat it, they always want to be right, as we have seen here. Your point isn't much different from mine, freecocoa et al think it's fine for the woman to hit the kid for disrespect, but the man shouldn't, when in fact it's the same thing, just different scenarios, don't do to someone what you wouldn't like to be done to you. Does the fact that our parents beat up kids to correct them make it right? Our forefathers gave human sacrifices, do we still do that? Is it until Goddoth comes that people will realise that kids are different and so will react differently to punishments? Sometimes a good lecture is all that is needed for change, we mustn't always beat people to instill fear, and fear will NEVER translate to respect......Safarigirl signing out....until Friday

This would just be Apocalypse!

World War 3!!!

I will never lay my hand on my wife, dem no born anybody outside to lay hands on my wife.

If you have a problem with my wife, you tell me and let me deal with it.

Dem never born the person in my family that will dare do that if they know me.

Sagamite: This would just be Apocalypse!

World War 3!!!

I will never lay my hand on my wife, dem no born anybody outside to lay hands on my wife.

If you have a problem with my wife, you tell me and let me deal with it.

Dem never born the person in my family that will dare do that if they know me.

^^^^^^agree with u but are u going to fight ur elder brother

drnoel:

^^^^^^agree with u but are u going to fight ur elder brother

I will beat the fck out of his life if he resists me giving him times 2 of the slaps he gave her!

Never again will he be that senseless.

I don't ever touch my wife, you will come and touch my wife and you expect me to be civilised?

Sagamite:

I will beat the fck out of his life if he resists me giving him times 2 of the slaps he gave her!

Never again will he be that senseless.

I don't ever touch my wife, you will come and touch my wife and you expect me to be civilised?

Are you married ni?

@ Topic:
Why would you beat another man's wife? The best you can do is to report the matter to her hubby.

Tgirl4real:

Are you married ni?

GOD FORBID BAD THING!

I REJECT THAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

I REBUKE ALL THE EVILS MY ENEMIES ARE WISHING ON ME.

Ashokortorkortorkortor. Mo bragadagadagadagada. FIRE!

^So you no go marry? Abi nobody go gree marry you?

freecocoa: ^So you no go marry? Abi nobody go gree marry you?

Mba!

Bachelor for life!